Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her

Yep, I've registered with an online dating site, now I just have to lay back and watch the offers come flooding in! Yeah right!

But seriously, I need to get a photo put onto it but I don't have a digital camera. What can I do?

You can take regular pictures and either make them digital with a scanner, or now many film developers will put your photos on a cd, as a digital file. You don't have to use a digital camera :)

Oh, cool, thanks for that.

The girl I met is a party polish girl when i called her up she talks about going to Ibiza and party hard. I am not into that much thats why our communication brakes down.

Any idea how to win a girl heart without partying hard.

go for someone a little older

if your not a party person, why would you go for someone who obviously is?

I suggest you go for someone who is more layed back and likes to do other things
besides partying, besides you should know young adults like to have fun their way
and she might not be ready for a relationship.. if thats what you want, good luck.

we cant tell you how to win the girl. thats really up to you.

somethings in life are worth sacraficing for ,and some not..

Very easy.Create in your house a scenery like Ibiza put some techno music,water her with some booze and start shaking your booty.

Please help me out here... My boyfriend, with whom I've been together almost 2 years, went to Polland to marry a good friend of his, as his best man. When he came back he was a bit awkward towards me and then told me that up there he fell in love with the bride's best friend (FYI, he only stayed up there for 3 days). He told me that he wanted to be sincere towards me because he loves me but thought it was better that we break up, cause he's very confused and what we had so far doesn't deserve to go through that. I asked him whether he communicates with her, and he told me daily... I don't think he's in love, he was drunk and simply liked this girl, he's simply infatuated, he only spent there 3 days for crying out loud... I told him so and he sounded very confused, I gave him a second chance to think things over really hard and he promised me he would, and he made me promise I would send him a message daily telling him that I'm fine cause he will be worried about me. I need some advice from people who are out of my world and, preferably men. Could he really be in love, or is it just enthusiasm? How much time should I give him, should I message him or let him miss me? Should I just give up and go on with my life if he does nothing in a week, or fight for him?

PS: Everyone knew he had a girlfriend, and the two did nothing, not even kiss, cause she reminded him that he has a girlfriend. But he told me that he sent her a message that he misses her(he told me this when he said that he didn't want to trick me that way) and she said I miss you too, the little slut...

Tell him to take all the time that he needs. Avoid pressuring him by nagging or whining. Let him know you love him, but will be seeing other men. Let him know that you want a boyfriend who is committed to you.

He is keeping his options open, and so should you.

It is good that he was honest. But, rather than make ultimatums or just give him all the space in the world while you wait.....let him see that if he takes too much time, he is in danger of losing you.

If you wait around showing him how patient you are, and the new woman is still communicating and saying she misses him, he will remain confused.

Or, he may decide to go with her. By waiting he will view you as someone he thinks is always an option if she does not work out. Never let him think this way. Let him know you are valuable and that you value yourself.

A Guy's opinion


A Guy's opinionYou don't know.

Don't message. The ball is in his court.

Move on. I would start dating other people. He may have a change of heart in the future, but at this stage you have nothing to lose by dating again.

Sorry to hear about the heartache you're going through.

Are you Polish as well? It's hard to tell if he's truly in love but we, guys aren't that much different from you ladies. Sometimes things happen slowly and sometimes they happen with a bang. I'd imagine that he's infatuated right now; the ability to talk to her in Polish while in Poland probably added to the overall feeling of being connected to her.

If I were you I'd let him know that you love him and believe in the two of you but then I'd leave him alone. The fact he was so upfront and honest with you tells me two things - he's a good person and he respects you.

You talking to him about her does NOT help, you're obviously very biased on the issue and he knows that. It's very possible that in a week or two he'll snap out of it but who knows?

It's sad you have to be going through this after sharing two years with him but I guess that's the curse of love. When it's good, it's this breathtaking and toe-curling, wonderful experience amplified by the candle-light sparkles of happiness.

When it's bad however it's the death of love as we know it and it feels like nothing and no one will ever be able to bring this happiness back to our hearts again...

At this point I think you need to back off and let him figure things out and while you do it keep living your life, keep breathing and stay with your friends as much as you can and "simply" hope for the best. That's all you can do. Sincerely wish you the very best.

---

PS. I agree with Softsong's message above with one exception.
Ultimatums to us men are equivalent to declarations of war - they do NOT work - EVER!

In my view it'd be a guaranteed break-up. To tell him "I will be seeing other men" is equivalent to saying "good-bye." Instead I'd say "I love you and hope the two of us have a future together but in the mean time I'll have to plan for my own future as well, one that maybe won't include you, it's up to you now." More of a gentle approach.

The way I understand it he hasn't been unfaithful yet he chose to be upfront with you. No reason to confront him with the "I'll be seeing other men" ultimatum - is so, bye bye it is. Just my testosterone-influenced view on it...


Forgot to mention. I know you don't want to hear this but she is not a slut. Ask yourself if you were in her shoes, would you too say - "sorry, I can't, you already have a girlfriend"?

Many women (and men) wouldn't if they met someone they're attracted to. Sad but true.

@Chicago Pollock: I don't think I'll be able to start dating so soon, I really want to wait and see what he decides and then move on. Even if he moves on with her, I think I'll remain single for a while, it was too much of a shock to me, first relationship and all...

@skysoulmate: We're both from Greece, he works here and I study in a Uni here. We've also been living together in my place for more than half a year. I cannot see the future that he can possibly have with her if he's in Greece and she's in Polland, I really don't get it, he's not even rich to travel back and forth and his work doesn't allow him frequent trips.

Also I'm guessing they're communicating only through messages (in bad english as he knows nothing of Polish) and on facebook, as calls cannot reach there, I tried when he was there with my cell. It's not that our relationship was almost dead, I swear everything was still great, maybe we're not head over hills with each other as we were in the first days, but he was telling me he missed me up there and that he loved me. That's why it's such a shock, our relationship was fine.

I haven't communicated with him at all since our last call that night, and all my friends advise me not to, that he needs to miss me, not to take me for granted... But I do miss him, and I don't know what the hell he is thinking at all, IF he is thinking at all. I know he must feel bad about it, but he hasn't even called or messaged me, however ashamed he might have felt, in order to see if I'm well or not, which makes me sad.

The only reason I'm saying she's a slut is because she pretended to be moral, but she continues to communicate with him while he's here, telling him I miss you too and god knows what else? How is that moral? I cannot justify her, nor him, sorry.

I can't stand that, there's nothing worse. Playing the morality card whilst doing otherwise. Actions speak louder than words and I sympathise/empathise with you. Touch wood, my wife hasn't and won't go down that path but we never know in life. I trust her not to and trust shouldn't be blind :) Good luck!!

In my view he will snap out if it before you know it. It's possible though that he'll lose you as you won't ever be able to trust him again. Listen to your friends, they're right. Wish you the very best and hope you'll feel better soon. If so we'd like to hear about it please... ;)

Thank you so much for responding... I hope things will be better in the future. If anyone has had something similar happen to them or their friends, please do say so and what you did. Or if anyone thinks I should do something else other than what was already said, you're welcome to write it down.

I'm just hoping that me not communicating with him at all isn't going to drive him away from me in the end and make him forget all about me, especially when I think that they will keep communicating... It's really hard to let go, unfortunately.

Men in love are really stupid, because they become so stupid.

Yes, but after three days he's in love? I do kind of believe in love at first sight but to throw away a good relationship for someone in a different country?

He is being really unfair to you.

Hi Ken!

I now just how you feel I'm in the same boat has you there is a polish girl were i work we say morning every day but i just can't seem to ask her if should would like to go for a drink

Improving your English might help you out.

Indeed. Sorry, Stubbs, but you sound a bit feeble-minded.