Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her

She is definately one that goes for the bad boys. I've seen her with undesirable types in the past. If something happens, it happens, but it's more than likely my imagination running wild again.

They all go for the bad boys...

Yeah, you've mentioned before. They don't go for them because they are bad, its because these are the types that are quick to take opportunities and they don't worry about rejection etc. Am I right?

yep!

Bad boys have come to realise that you actually get slapped much much less often than you thought would be the case. Therefore all the indecent proposals are just a bet to nothing!

How is your fishing Lobo? Catch anything nice?

Going quite well. The trick is to do what you enjoy anyway, and don't think too much about girls...

I understand, was doing a google search on a couple of things southern mentioned a while back;


Some interesting stuff. I am interested in the psychological side of this and am keen to learn more. I noticed it said that the best way to approach women is without having any fixed result in mind, to 'let the chips fall where they may'. It is when we go into these encountered with a set goal that fear occurs.

You can only learn this by doing...

Practice, practice, practice.

I am doing this a bit more, talking to anybody and everybody, man or woman, young or old, whether I'm interested in them or not. There are good days and bad days though, times when I don't feel like communicating.

Ken, we all have our days when we dont like to talk and just have a Quiet day :)

thats normal, so dont think its just a ken thing :)))))

I am especially non-talkative early am before my cup of tea :) LOL...

"Don't hate the player hate the game."

That's good to know, it is frustrating at times, I see so many opportunities but still a bit too cautious about taking them. Sometimes at the gym, there is a nice girl who I would like to talk to. See seems a very friendly and bubbly person but she is always there with her sister and mother. I feel really self-conscious in the gym at the best of times, all those mirrors and good looking people, but to go up and start talking to her in front of her family is just taking it to an altogether higher level. I just feel it is way too obvious what I'm trying to do.

what a perfect setting, because her mother would probably encourage a nice gents
advances,, if you see her there all the time, you should ask what her name is or if you
cant do that, buy some flowers and ask one of the other trainers if they would
deliver them to her, but dont leave when its done, watch from whatever machine
you are at.. if she is surprised and smiles, hey, move in and start talking . or tell her
you would like to meet afterwards for a chat :) and invite her mother and sister if
necessary :) compliment everyone, I can bet she would be extremely flattered and
to boot, mom and sis are there to encourage ..

and trust me, moms and sisters are always looking for the children and siblings
someone nice, so whatever way you decide to meet :) its up to you :)
be casual and charming.. maybe even bring a rose or two for the mom and sister
will pretty much put you in their family as future son in law. :)) whether you are
willing or not.. lol

ken, the above is just a senario, she could be married and out with her family
but, ya never know until you make that move. so take your time,. as always
you cant hurry love.. <~as phil collins remake song goes :)

Steady on there P, lol.

Thanks for the advice, I will give it some thought.


She is maybe a bit young to be married, she would be in her early 20's I guess, I will take it slow, probably try making eye contact, still painfully difficult, I feel everyone is watching me, I know how they feel on Big Brother!

Here is my latest problem (latest in a long line!).

Went out to a bar on Saturday night with some friends, probably the first time I've been in a bar on a Saturday night for a couple of years. I enjoyed it, and there was a great band playing but the problem is that when there is loud background music, I can't hear what anyone is saying to me unless they stand right beside me and scream into my ear. I've checked and its called 'cocktail party deafness'. Because it has been so long since I was in this sort of situation, I had forgotten how bad it is, plus being softly spoken myself means conversation is fragmented as you have to keep asking the person to repeat themselves and vice versa.

It was also aukward as the four friends all had their girlfriends with them, it really felt like I was intruding. I don't think they really like me all that much, they respect me okay but there isn't really any true friendship. Their girlfriends must think I am really weird, (I basically just stood there quietly listening to the music), they must have felt sorry for me as a couple of times they tried to make polite conversation but it just wasn't happening with all the background noise.

I just don't think these places are a suitable environment for me to meet anyone. These places aren't playing to my strengths, bars full of wildly extroverted people just make me look even duller than I am. It is really limiting my chances of finding someone.

They aren't good places to meet someone. How can you introduce yourself if no one can hear you? And after you get home, you can still hear buzzing in your ears!

There are better places to meet people- bookstores, coffee houses (quieter acoustic music), classes, a gathering at a friends home, etc.

We've all been in this situation :) Don't let it bum you out.

Unfortunately, where I live, the bar is THE place where young people meet, we don't have bookstores and coffee houses are where all the grannies hang out!

Give it some thought....where else do people go in your town to socialize (that isn't so loud)?

reclaim the coffee house!!

SG is right though, you wont find a girl you like in a place you dont like

did you mean coffee shop????

Recruiting has begun for the Starbucks militia!

We're gona take the power back ! (or at least the latte's anyway)

no no, coffee house/shop. its all the same here


can i get a double frappacino please? chocolate sprinkles.

Seriously though Ken, Have you tried msn's match.com?

Had considered it yes but not seriously until now.

I've always felt online dating as being a bit, you know, weird. A last resort sort of thing.
I guess it is that time.

i did at first, but that was 2 years ago. seems to be the way man.

There is nothing to lose, I'll give it a go, cheers.

Its seriously good fun mate - it removes the girls that your not interested in.
you can search for girls with interests you share or not - its up to you, its highly flexible and recommended

Ive done online dating too.. a few years ago. Some of my friends took the p%%s and the irony is that now they are all doing it.. it seems to have become more socially acceptable in the UK over the last few years.. especially in big cities like London, where its hard to meet people. I met my current bf in a bar, but if we ever split up I would prob. try the online thing again.

I once tried the online dating thing and it never really worked for me. Hard to find a site worth using that does not charge the earth.

Still there is nothing to lose by going for it and it would take the awkwardness out of meeting as you already know a few things about the person before you walk over to meet and talk to them.

msn's match.com

I will take a look. Thank you.

worked for me, several times