Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her

You are right,there is a small cultural gap,I mean when I try to be laconic what is ommited in context is granted in our culture but probably not granted in other culture,so it may cause misunderstandings.In fact I like immigrants very much.They have done a lot for the economy,many things would be worse withoout them.And it is not proven ecobomically that they raise unemployment.Maybe they make unemployment decline through boosting production and creating demand for more jobs.

It is also the brain drain.Asian people have the highest IQ,5 points higher than the european.If you manage to select the best of them,you get statistically the brightest brains and many of those working in western countries belong to that category.

True. Also the written word is not adequate when discussing shall we say 'delicate' topics. You need to see the person to understand them.

The english have this tea culture when you have to avoid talking about serious things and you just do small talk.Contrary to germans who always discuss seriously.(not very popular).

Yes, nothing like a very tough competitive situation to push you up the learning curve. I am getting quite curious about your life Southern.
Southern, your sweeping statements about the different people of this world always surprise! They are so politically incorrect that it can be very refreshing. Like a loose canon on deck you are making a lot of people very nervous in this very politically correct world. Please keep rocking the boat, it makes it all so much more amusing!


Absolutely right!

Generalisation alert. We are as vociferous as anybody else when we know the people concerned. I accept that when meeting new people this is an accuarte portrayal on the whole though.

Lobo most of what I quote is common knowledge.I would not have said sth about english gays percentage if I had not read researches.Of course it will never appear on TV because there is public opinion,and most people think public opinion,common sense is everything.But if you read scientific researches,there is a gap from public opinion,because the researches are neutral.From my experience what I read in reseacrh is the same that I meet in reality,what I see in TV is not what I meet in reality.

But I suspect that in a forum like this people come out of their shells... and even the English will speak their minds!

The English and the Russians make the best spies because they can keep a secret for a lifetime.

Southern, and this is why I have not yet criticized you as have many others. I understood at once I was talking to a technical person whose views are somewhat guided by evidence not public opinion. Because this is unusual, it is refreshing.

Currently our society is full of taboos. These include but are not limited to: Different races, their IQs and the societies that result; Dislike of other races going on with one’s females; Discussion of what religion is better; etc. It is a minefield!

You didn't say anything racist literally.. but there's a racist, xenophobe undertone in what you say. You seem to want to get other races & ethnicities involved in everything that goes wrong, whether you say it literally or not.

I don't see what it has to do with it all.. You know Southern, people don't think that way like you do. In terms of being "inferior" or "superior" to a black, paki, turk, english w/ever We don't see it that way.. we don't think in such terms. If someone has a nice attractive gf/bf it's probably because he is a nice attractive loving boy/girl in the first place..

Or a real bastard!

This is very true, its a good thing and should be welcomed.


Getting the whole picture better now, for that Southern I apologise. I was too quick to judge. It is easy to see how people can get the wrong end of the stick. Political correctness or not there are some issues where words need to be chosen carefully or people get bent out of shape.

Ken, don't be so quick with your apologies either. You have no evidence to show that Southern is not a racist or a xenophobe.

That however is irrelevant. People are creatures of their environment. Because you were raised in Britain you are extremely sensitive to issues of race and have become quite politically correct. This is not something that really defines you as it is purely caused by your environment (of time and place). Southern who is probably from the south of the ex Soviet Union was raised in a completely different environment. This too is not innate to his personality, just his surroundings.

When dealing with people of such different backgrounds to yourself, it is best to be less emotionally involved and stick to the facts.
I have learned a great deal and had a great time with people who were quite extreme in their views of the world and that if I did not know how to behave could have put my life in danger. It is better to separate the different aspects of people's personalities.

Remember, even great icons of evil like... Hitler... could come up with some great ideas like the Motorway system, Television Broadcasting or Rocket science leading to the man on the moon. Just keep a certain detachment and keep your political correctness in check as well.

Topic reminder for all :) Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her

And sticking to the point, Southern has got the knoledge to make you to be able to find your next girl friend...
and that is the golden nugget you are after...

this is off topic so feel free to delete.. but its making me so mad that Southern continues to generalise about other nations whilst refraining from telling us where he comes from in case anyone dares do the same...sorry ken for putting it here, but sure it will be deleted soon

Maybe. But there again it could be akin to one of those people who want to sell you their 'foolproof' method of becoming rich. Each to their own but I never had to employ his methods!

It is not my method.Americans promote this stuff.I just happened to use it consciously or unconsciously and can testify its value.

And I can testify that there are other ways that worked much better for me. We agree to differ - that's all

I have to be honest and say that I am totally confused about what to do next.


I can understand the maths behind this method and how it will achieve results but I can't help feeling very cold and unromantic about becoming someone who does this.

I guess it was just me living in this delusional world and believing my soul mate was there for me and fate would bring us together, fairy tale, happy ever after stuff.


I need to take steps towards doing this. I am going to start looking for a job in the city. Before I was content with rural life and I had a bad experience last time I lived in the city. Things will be different this time and I really need to meet new people. You see the same people with country life, the women are mostly married and things are a bit stale.

Learning to dance is a good idea Lobo, it would be a massive step for me, I know I would feel incredibly self conscious and clumsy especially if I had to dance with a hot chick and probably get a boner as well, lol.

Southern since u are expert in this field
Tell me what should be my next move.
The girl works at a store. I have only brief encountered her during check outs. The other day we talked a little and i got the notion that she likes me. Now what next.

1. Should I go up to her straight and ask for her number, when I encounter her next time or
2. Don't show any sign of interest and keep her guessing, and then later ask for it.

Now Whats your style playboy.
Help me out

Lucas, are you serious? I don't know if you're just joking but in case you're serious, I think you should ask a woman's advice. My advice is to write your phone number on a piece of paper and give it to her. Just say "here's my number if you ever want to call me. It would be great to hear from you."

This is the best move because you won't force her to make an awkward, unexpected decision by asking for her phone number. Whatever you do, don't act like you're not interested because she'll believe you.

but don't the girl likes it when a guy ask for it

Not me.

whats wrong with u
why wont u give it to a guy if he shows interest in u


but thanks for that advice. u are very right i didn't thought of that

I see a phone number as my personal space. And I don't give it out to whoever. If I really like a guy, I don't mind giving it to him. But if I don't, it places me in an awkward position. Maybe she's different. Maybe she'll be glad to give it out to a guy she hardly knows.

Now tell me a specific indirect question that i should ask her and an expected answer for that question, which will show a clear sign of her interest towards me.

The girls have given out their numbers whom i show interest but don't really care. but why its get so hard and i even get nervous asking a number of a girl whom i truly like and the fear of rejection kicks in . Thats so f***** up. A Weird psychology. I need a genius mind like Freud to help me on this

the only thing I can suggest is to give her your phone number and if she really likes you, she'll call you.

Girls are just as nervous and insecure as men.

I have no idea why this is but its really annoying psychology when you get tongue-tied like that.


Maybe so, but women can also get too nervous to call back too. I would say the best solution is to get her number yourself. A good solution without needing to say a lot is to hold out your phone on the "new contact" screen with her name in... She'll get the idea that you want her to put her number in. ;-)

Lucas I am not an expert.To get a phone number is the easiest thing.You just go and ask for it.Some people claim you need first to talk about 15-20 minutes,from my experience 5-10 min fluff talk is enough.Then you ask for the phone number.Do you have any phone number?That's all.If she does not give,she is not interested.50% of those who give it will not want to date,or will date but as friends,not for romantic issues.The other 50% has real interest and needs 2-3 dates to land.If you have some time more,you could ask her to show you the town and after 1-2 hours you may kiss her.This is even better than phone number.But first get phone number to guarantee.

To give phone number is big mistake.You should never give phone number even if she asks you.

women wont give their phone number willy nilly. express an interest in her and then ask her if she would like your phone number, if she likes u she will accept it and use it eventually but if she wont accept the number the outcome is obvious.

but my advice would be not to ask for hers but just to offer your own.

I disagree with this..if a guy gave me his number I would never call him, but I would be happy to give him mine if I liked him.