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My boyfriend is on a Polish dating site


ShelleyS  14 | 2883  
14 Jul 2008 /  #121
superjay

Dont even bother, she's knows best!
scott usa  - | 63  
14 Jul 2008 /  #122
all i know if i was dating someone and she was on a dating site she would be gone adios amigo:)
PinkJewel  
14 Jul 2008 /  #123
.

all i know if i was dating someone and she was on a dating site she would be gone adios amigo:)

You'll be single then...

zabko has to make decisions based on her own happiness. She is right, we don't know all the circumstances, so best of luck zabko. :)
scott usa  - | 63  
14 Jul 2008 /  #124
so pink jewel u would stay with a guy if u were dating him and he was on a dating web site ?That like saying he is just there to make friends lmao u cant be that innoncet and blind can u?
PinkJewel  
14 Jul 2008 /  #125
I just said we don't know all the circumstances.

So why are you on PF? Information? To make friends?

Edit: to find a Polish princess I see...
scott usa  - | 63  
14 Jul 2008 /  #126
yes but if u were dating someone wouldnt u think it would be weried if they were on a dating we site?
PinkJewel  
14 Jul 2008 /  #127
I'd beat him with a frying pan.

Then I'd investigate.
miranda  
14 Jul 2008 /  #128
I'd beat him with a frying pan.

I got a really nice cast iron one. LOL
scott usa  - | 63  
14 Jul 2008 /  #129
lol see so u agree with me
PinkJewel  
14 Jul 2008 /  #130
I got a really nice cast iron one. LOL

I might ask to borrow it in a minute... :)

lol see so u agree with me

No. I was being funny. I wouldn't hurt a man with a frying pan.

I'd use a rolling pin instead.
Wroclaw  44 | 5359  
14 Jul 2008 /  #131
I'd use a rolling pin instead.

traditionalist
scott usa  - | 63  
14 Jul 2008 /  #132
so i am right if ur dating someone dont join a dating website that like going out on a date when u have a gf and saving the other girl was just hungry lmao
ShelleyS  14 | 2883  
14 Jul 2008 /  #133
I'd beat him with a frying pan.

I wouldn't I'd just leave!
PinkJewel  
14 Jul 2008 /  #134
traditionalist

Can't let the old traditions die out ;)

I wouldn't I'd just leave!

Hmm, there is the non-violent route too I suppose...
scott usa  - | 63  
14 Jul 2008 /  #135
lol that is traditions to beat wih frying pan?
Wroclaw  44 | 5359  
14 Jul 2008 /  #136
You need to read Andy Capp. It deals with the consequences of letting down ones loved ones. The method of correction is the rolling-pin.

:)
plk123  8 | 4119  
14 Jul 2008 /  #137
Online cheating is the most serious form by far.You may get horns very quickly.

no it's not. the real cheating where he's actually banging someone is worse.

obviously it is not really what I want to hear

hey, you can turn your hearing off but what bubbawoo so elloquently said still applies even if you seem to live in denial.

zabko is telling us that she now has control of the situation.

so she thinks. hmm

I dont really know why I posted here and wish I hadnt now,

ignoracnce is bliss from what i hear. ;)

Maybe I am deluding myself

u r

with all due respect I am no way going to make a life changing decision based on what random online strangers say.

see above. good times.

The problem is that now they all hate him which makes it difficult if I decide to stay with him :)

maybe because they also see this situation as we all do here. open your eyes girl.

My family will stand by me whatever decision I make and they will accept it if I stay with him. they just want whatever is best for me.

this sure doesn't seem like the best thing for anyone. and i doubt they'll support you and his cheating ways. not a good way to live at all.

If you told him it was over, would he be distraught? Or would it just scupper some plans he has for the near future? Instead of bemoaning the intentions of PF users (who are a good bunch IMHO) maybe start with being absolutely honest with yourself

hey, if she wants to be blind and put up with it, like she said, it is her decision. she will have to live with her decisions.

Dont even bother, she's knows best!

yup.

we don't know all the circumstances, so best of luck zabko. :)

we may not but the part we do isn't all that peachy, yet she wants to live in denial.. oh well.
miranda  
14 Jul 2008 /  #138
she will have to live with her decisions.

that is correct. it will be her not you living with the decision.
OP zabko  1 | 21  
14 Jul 2008 /  #139
If he sat down with you and said "I am so sorry.

Actually he said pretty much all of those things and more and I do think he will be devastated if we split up. He suggested a break, but I have told him thats its all or nothing for me. We either stay together and try and work things out, including him being honest about everything and stopping all contact with people he has met online or we split for good. When I said that he said that he does really love me and definitely doesnt want to lose me, but just got addicted to the attention of women on the internet. We have started talking more now than we ever have about our relationship and where (if anywhere) it is going. One of the problems we have had in the past was that his English is not so good and my Polish is pretty non-existent so at times it has been difficult to discuss serious issues, but now that has changed. Anyway like you all said its my decision and whatever I decide I will live with it.
wildrover  98 | 4430  
14 Jul 2008 /  #140
Good luck to you...if you are talking then you can solve most problems....its when you don,t talk its over......
gracie  1 | 7  
14 Jul 2008 /  #141
i hope everything works out for you.
shewolf  5 | 1077  
14 Jul 2008 /  #142
This is a 3 year relationship so it's not that simple. You have a strong emotional attachment to him. I think you need to reach a point where you can't stand it anymore and you really want to leave. You don't sound ready yet. I think time will take care of the situation.
Lir  
14 Jul 2008 /  #143
Anyway like you all said its my decision and whatever I decide I will live with it.

You are the only one who can make that decision all anyone else can do is to give you their views/ advice.

All I know is that you need to be able to trust your partner 100% if that's not there, then there will always be cracks. You can only paper over them for so long.

Good Luck I really hope it works out well for both of you.

:)
tornado2007  11 | 2270  
14 Jul 2008 /  #144
Fair play you've made a decision whether right or wrong, you know my view and i'm not going to change my mind to suck up to you. Good luck in the future and i wish you all the best, however it turns out

T
Firestorm  6 | 399  
14 Jul 2008 /  #145
zabko

You really have only 2 questions..

Do you believe him.?
Can you forgive him.?

If you answer yes to these questions.
Then you have no reason to justify your actions to anyone.
You came and asked for help. And it was given. Freely. And for a proportion i wont judge. Wisely.

Now its up to YOU.
Not anyone here. Including me. To decide or judge you.
Its YOUR life. Your Descion. Your Choices.

I wish you Luck.
And pray he has the sense to realise he has YOU.
And what he stands to loose if he messes up again..

Take care Zabko.
Cardno85  31 | 971  
5 Dec 2008 /  #147
no it's not. the real cheating where he's actually banging someone is worse

Hmmm, not sure that is true. I went out with a girl once who owned up to getting drunk one night and having a one night stand with some stranger. Now that was hurtful and I was raging...but hey, she made a mistake, admitted it and was sorry. The mental imagary was pretty bad for a few weeks but it died down and we were quite happy for a while. Just grew apart and are still friends.

However when I found that my current ex had met someone on a night out, kissed him, texted him and attended a few other parties with him while still my girlfriend I was heartbroken. She sat there and, as if it was an excuse, said "But I never slept with him". The fact that she had feelings for this person and was actually conciously making desicions to be with him and text him while in a relation was a lot more hurtful than someone being stupid and having a one night stand where it's just sex.
Polish_Ranger  - | 4  
5 Dec 2008 /  #148
I can relate. It is not just sex. The thought that the person you love is thinking about someone else is as hurtful as sleeping with that person.

How did you overcome the pain?
Cardno85  31 | 971  
5 Dec 2008 /  #149
I haven't to be honest. I have become a typical bartender, just like I was before her. Flirtatious but never involved with anyone. She still texts and it hurts. There is nothing to cure that except copious amounts of vodka and lots of pretending.

The only reason I am still here is in the off chance she will change her mind...i have given myself until February. Then it's off to Norway with friends to earn a fortune...and then spend it all on stupid things.

I love/hate women...see if they could be gorgeous and not insane...that would be awesome!
Polish_Ranger  - | 4  
6 Dec 2008 /  #150
In due time, it will end. Just keep yourself first and time will cure the pain. I went thru the same shit but from all of this, you will get a life experience that will make you stronger.

Good Luck,

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