Im an Irish man and have been talking to a girl I work with mainly on facebook. As its hard to really get to know some one probably on it, I want to ask her out but Polish customs seem to be different to what I have heard. I want this to work as I really like her and we seem to be able to tell each other everything. And when we are in difficult situation we are there to help each other but we dont really know enough of our past lives.
Basically all I want to is what is the best way to ask her out? What is considered the best thing to do on the first get together? Want to do it right as she has had previous Irish boyfriends and they have hurted her and I dont want to be the same as them. I dont think I am but want to show her anyway.
Why bother to answer someone who isn't registered, can't write well though he claims to be an Irish man, and doesn't know how to ask a girl for a date? He sounds like he's 15.
Christ, just say "are you free this weekend for a coffee" and see what she says. If she says she's busy all weekend and doesn't follow it with "but I am free on...", it means she's not interested.
You don't have to get her father's permission to buy her a latte.
Coffee is not a very good bait for a Polka.A meal with pierogi and some wine can work better.But usually a polish woman makes better use of resources if she undertakes control herself.
In my experience (i.e., many years of real-life experience, not chatting breeze on PF like you do), Polki do like meeting for coffee - indeed, it's often their suggestion. Probably because when they suggest coffee, it means coffee - whereas over here, "coffee" means sex. No decent Polish woman will suggest sex for a first date.
You have to be more direct with Polish women - if you want coffee, say coffee; if you want sex, say łóżko. :D
"Let's go for a kebab" won't work, by the way, just in case you were wondering. LOL :)
Is this how the kids do it nowadays? on FB?
Not just the kids - my last ex asked me out on FB and we are a long way from being "kids", lol.
Why bother to answer someone who isn't registered, can't write well though he claims to be an Irish man, and doesn't know how to ask a girl for a date? He sounds like he's 15.
Looks like woodcouch won't be "getting wood" for a while then; except on his own, maybe. haha :)
Coffee or lunch is a good idea, dinner is to close to night and suggests something else :) especially dinner in your or her place ;) should follow when time is right
If she looks slim coffee is better.If she looks more curvy lunch is better.If she is very young club is better.If she is older than 30 years old drinks are better always depending on the individual.
I'm an South Asian guy living in London; I was born and brought up there, I'm 6ft5, good looking (according to a lot of girls I know lol), I dress very smartly and formal at all times and I'm medium built masculine.
Back in early December I went to to my local takeaway shop which I've been going to for the past 8 years since I was 8, I'm 18 now, I'ts obviously an Asian run takeaway business, my point is there was one time when I went there and I saw this young girl working there who seemed like she is the same age as me and was working part-time, I did sense every time I was sitting down in the shop she looked at me and whenever I looked at her she looked the other way, at first I wasn't interested as she didn't seem my type, she was quite short, had short hair and slim, however her English was really good and at the same time she did seem like a down to earth person but I just was not interested.
Once I went to the shop with my friends there was about 6 of us while we was having our meal one of my mates kept whispering 'that girl keeps looking at you' after while we all went home they where all telling me to speak to her and that throughout the time they were at the shop she kept constantly staring at me.
That's when I took a slight interest in her, That shop is a place where I go to regularly almost every day, there was one point when I went there and I asked one of the senior staff members who she was and he told me she was just a part time student from Poland same age as me working there.
3 months on I go there regularly I see her all the time, she looks at me I look back at her, but that's it. My point is I want to ask her out, However a lot of people tell me asking someone out at work there is always a 10/10 chance in them saying No. So does anyone have any suggestions to what I should do?
I would approach her when business was slow and say to her, "Hi there, I have noticed you looking at me and it makes me very nervous. Would you like to meet up with me after you get done work and talk for a bit ?"
Remember Jay, a closed mouth never gets fed. Good luck & keep us posted with a progress report.
Appoaching her when business is slow it's a good idea.(Telling her: "you make me nervous" - not a good idea, imo).
Small talk. Find some points of mutual understanding (oh really? I'm a student, too...) Then suggest you would like to meet with her after she'll finish her shift, for coffee for example. Polish people generally go for coffee often. And coffee is just a coffee.
Seems to me you think quite high of yourself (handsome, etc). Do you think quite high of this girl too? Find her pretty, cute, interesting, whatever? Because it isn't clear from your post, not at all. Hopefully you do, otherwise asking her out wouldn't make any sense, right?
And if she goes out with you, be a gentleman. Open the door for her, pay for coffee, walk her to the bus etc. Anything less
would be a dissapointment for her. I know, as I'm a Polish girl too. Good Luck!!
Hi Rozamunda. Thank you very much for your response much appreciated. Yes I do think highly of this girl that's why I'm seeking help also in regards to myself I just want to give everyone an idea of myself lol So they can understand the situation. In terms of asking her when business is quite slow as johnny reb above mentioned, the only problem is this takeaway is really busy especially during her shift times.
Funny thing, once about 3 weeks ago I was on the phone outside the shop waiting for her shift to finish so I can ask her, however when her shift finished a guy came and picked her. I spoke about this to my friends they all assumed that it could be her brother as he was very very tall compared to her, the only thing that gives me the inner gut feeling to not ask her is that I fear she might say No, I only have this feeling of rejection from her because I like her a lot and also if she says No I will be so embarrassed to walk into that shop again, I hope everyone can understand this.
Also to note in London it is very mixed racially you see a lot of mixed couples especially eastern European Boys and Girls mixing, So I dont think that's an issue however I keep thinking it is as one of my Polish friends at work said Polish girls are restricted to go out with guys non-white as it brings shame to the family, is this true?
Firstly, I wouldn't worry about asking her out and expect a rejection just because you're not white. The fact is that in Poland generally
99,9% of citizens are white caucasians (my estimation) but while living in London she must have get used to people of different races.
I understand you're affraid of rejection, I really do. You're very young too, and the prospect of being rejected is even more scary when you
are that young. However, I'd say go for it (ask her out), as it seems it's something you really want. In case of actually being rejected, try to handle
it well (ok, it was nice to meet you anyways....). Even if this would happen, you should be proud of yourself for trying (reaching your goal)
and facing your fear (of being rejected). Try to look at this from that angle.... You will not loose anything here, if you try. Good Luck again and let us know, how it goes.
Thanks everyone, I will go ahead and do it tomorrow, it will be very difficult with everything going on in my head, but I think its better to do it, Does anyone have any ideas of what exactly is best to ask or say?
Just be confident, look her in the eye and stand up straight (you are a big guy :) - all Polish girls like that - dont hassle her if she says no but smile and say you are glad you asked her - she might remember that for the future. And if she says no don't change your routine if thats where you've been getting your takeout since you were a kid.
Thank you everyone for your response, I will keep that in mind, the only thing i'm cautious about is will she feel comfortable in me asking her while she is at work most people tell me asking someone out while they are working is creepy for the person
