Advice Please! Meeting my Polish boyfriend's parents!! Gifts, customs...

Don't go there without good bouquet of flowers for the mother and a good bottle of vodka for the father. It is like a traditional pay-off for the parents;). It doesn't have to be a bad thing: any mother will look at you better when given flowers and if the father opens the bottle to drink with you then you have made the best impression:)

I used to date a polish girl from southern poland also. I also remember meeting her parents for the first time.

I got her dad a bottle of vodka and her mom some flowers as a gesture for letting me stay in the house. Just be polite and confident. Offer to go to the pub with her dad and play some billiards or something. You will have to drink vodka... just get over it. Give her dad a firm handshake and look him in the eye, you can do the weird polish alternating cheek kiss thing if you want with her mom.

Also if her mom is anything like my ex's mom... she'll ask you if you are hungry every 5 minutes. Just eat, it makes them happy.

My first time was a babtism of fire, family wedding, didn't know so much Polish and I was in the house with her folks and 3 brothers...

Be confident in yourself, friendly and treat them as you would your own extended family (comfortable yet formal if that makes sense).

I've booked the flight and things are organised - but its become an order of magnistude more scary.

She's an ex nun and I'm her first boyfriend. . . . . . . .

Yeah. . . .It doesn't seem real to me either. . . . .but its easily believable given her behaviour.

If it feels right , then it probably is...

Do not worry about it , it will be fine...Scots seem to fit in quite well in Poland , her folks will love you...

My ex girlfriend was from cape wrath , a real highlander , my Polish friends thought she was great , and spoke better English than English people they had met...

Normally you would want to meet the family to see what she comes from.

Merged: What to Expect? My Polish girlfriend wants me to meet her parents.

Hello Everyone,

Used this site for a while for advice on reading past posts and its been great !!! So heres my first post (im sure i will be heckled by some of the argumentative ones i know who you are !!)

Right the time has come to go to Poland my first time !! we both live in England, she moved here 5 years ago so the flght doesnt bother me, its only a few hours if that, just the drive from the airport to her house which is going to be interesting as she doesnt drive, !! Never driven on the wrong side of the road lol,

So we are going to meet my girlfriends parents and family (we have been together 6 months), we booked the flights tonight for the end of january, ive been told the weather is lovely at that time of year !!! thermal underwear has been hinted at, My only reason for posting is to ask anybody who has been in the same situation what to expect ?

Any traditional customs ?
Take her parents a gift (sound like an American with that one lol) ?

Just any info would be great !!!

I know basic phrases, when we first met i thought id better start learning however i have been told by my beloved that its only a small town and hardly anybody speaks English, (she did have a glint in her eye when she said it though lol)

Thanks

few options: she's thinking about getting married and wants her family's approval, or, she's getting a free trip. Either way, just be yourself and enjoy. Look around and see if you could live there. And check out the mother - what they say is true more often than not - daughters do turn into their mothers, eventually.

Shes paid for the trip lol !!! only because ive just brought a house.

and in regards to the daughter-mother thing, ive already checked that one out, without sounding bad in anyway whatsoever.

So that leaves marriage :-0 !! lol, id marry her tommorrow, unfortunately that will have to wait the house has drained me :-(

Sounds very sweet. You're a goner. :)
As far as help with customs - does the family live in a city or coutry? Deninitely flowers for the mother, bottle for the fathers, something little for siblings, couple of presents held back for bribes... ;) Good luck!

Her family live just outside Skop, so its the country

yep it sounds like im a goner lol, thanks for the advice

I don't know that area in particular, but if you're not overtly religious already, you might become soon. ;)

Hi There

I first went to Poland with my then girlfriend roughly 4 years ago, her parents lived in southern Poland in a small village near the Slovakian border. I went there with an "open mind" and did not have any pre-concieved ideas about Poland or the people. What i found were decent people with high levels of manners and respect, something that is truely missing from the UK society at the moment. I regulary come to Poland now, roughly 4 times a year and have visited many cities and walked in Zakopane, Beskidy and recently Biesczstady, Poland is without doubt a stunning country. My advice to you especially if you are going to a village is to show repesct to all especially the elders ( Babcia or Jadek) as they are the real power houses in the close nit family structure also Religion is major and unfortunately nothing will prepare you for it, my advice is to embrace it as it means everything to a Pole.

Oh and for what is is worth i am now married - and i got married in Poland in a traditional mountain ceremony and said my vows in Polish, ok it was not perfect but the repect they gave me for trying made it all the worthwhile, members of my family attended and have made plans to visit again soon. My advice is to go for it and dont make the big mistake of being "too british" and conservative in your views, and enjoy a fantastic country with warm and friendly people.

Hope this helps

Yes, you sound like someone concerned with respecting the customs and mores of a place you are about to visit. Hehehehe
Anyway, flowers for the mother and a bottle for the father seem to be standard. The better the booze the more points you will score. Doesn't have to be Wodka, but if Wodka, Chopin or Bellevedere.

My wife says:
"Firm handshake for the father and kiss mamma's hand." (Corney, maybe, but it worked for me.)
"Eat whatever is offered. And praise to the heavens anything home-cooked."
"If you don't speak Polish, nod, smile, and say OK a lot in response to whatever is said to you."
Also, most Brits seem to think Poles over heat their houses a lot. Even as an American who spent the last 40 years in California I think they over heat a bit.

Oh, and learn to sing "Sto lat". If you're there for more than 3 days an occasion while arise in which it will be appropriate.

What to expect.

The weather will be very cold, so when you hire the car make sure they have included snow chains and shovel in the boot, check the car has winter tyres on. Skop is in Mazury so you could expect a ride on horse driven sleigh in the snow or on the frozen lakes, kielbasa ( sausage) cooked on a fire, hot beer with herbs and honey, mulled wine, fantastic home cooked food. If you are visiting a small village everyone will know you are arriving so be on your best behavior and just be yourself. As someone pointed out your girlfriends grand parents are the one to impress. Presents bring an extra suitcase there will be plenty you want to take back to England.

Let us know how you get on.

Enjoy

Merged: First Meeting with a girl I'm dating in Poland!

Hi,

Im dating a Polish girl and will be travelling to Poland to visit her and her family on boxing day "26th December".
I have never met her family before, is there anything in particular i must do or remember when i meet them?.
Gifts, greetings, traditions, customs.......stuff like that?.
Im learning Polish and can speak general conversation (nothing to complex).
Any help or advice would be very much appreciated.

David :o)

Hey! Happy to hear that someone will be doing same thing as me! :)
The best present is to bring something popular/traditional from your country, regardless of food or figurine.
This makes the gift more special since they won't be able to see it in Poland :D

Merged: Visiting the Parents of a Polish girl (who lives in the UK)

Hi all,

Need a little advice..

Ive been seeing a polish girl for about 4 months, she lives in UK, and has gone over to poland to see her family for Christmas. and things are going really well.... that good to the point im going to visit her and her family for the new year..

They dont speak english and i dont speak polish, so there is that problem.. but its not major as you can get by with gestures and hand signals when she isn't there to translate for me (and yes, i do plan on learning polish.. But im going next week, so i cant learn it that fast >< ).

The problem is, what gifts should i take for her mother/father? Ill be turning up at the airport about midnight.. so flowers for the mother are out the question..

I guess chocolates would do for the mother, not amazing i know.. but wanted something a little more special..

As for the father.. was told Alcohol :D.. though im open for some ideas.. is there anything that you cant really get in Poland that i can get in the UK that he would like?

She has a 3 month old niece, so i was going to bring something over for the baby, was thinking of one of those baby sleeping bag things, but she already got her one as they dont have them in Poland.. so again open to ideas..

Mainly just thinking of taking things over to Poland that are only available in uk..

Also, i need to learn how to at least introduce myself, and thank them for allowing me to stay, in Polish, so and phrases would be appreciated.. though learning to pronounce it should be fun :D

Thanks in advance

Robbie

good sweet alcohol for both will be fine like Ballentines (Ballentines is out of reach for most Polish people - expensive)

or maybe a bottle of good whiskey for the father and as you said a nice big box of chocolates for the mother

Id say an aged single malt.
Thats for dad obviously.

My name is Robbie - mam na imię Robbie (use ivona to hear the pronunciation)
Dziękuję za zaproszenie - thank you for the invitation (again use ivona.com)

Many thanks all for the advice :)

So Ballentines for the dad, chocolates for the mum.. and for the baby, guessing just some nice warm baby clothes.

And thank you gumishu for the translation.. i best get practacing! ><

she also did warn me that there is a huge cultural differance... to be honest my parents made a point to take me to a different country each year and to respect and embrace cutural differances.. So im guessing i wont really be that phased about it. But anything I should be aware of?

or you can introduce yourself as Robert - Robert is also quite a common name in Poland

Nah,................................ just be prepared to eat lots of cabbage !!

Watch out for the manhood test coming from her father ;-) He might test just how much Wodka you can consume, before going insane!

Haha, yes ive been warned about that.. and she said she would look after me.. though i said i couldnt promise not throwing up everywhere and stripping in front of her parents ><

and Lots of cabbage... hmm.. i guess im going to have to pass that point in the relationship where i dont want to fart in front of her ><

Our Polish friends like us to bring English foodstuffs - mustard, chutney, Marmite, anything like that.

Dude it's scary :D too much Polish Wodka and you'll start saying anything! But then again they don't understand English so your fine

what about Jack Daniels Tennessee Honey?? Its quite rare to find over here, and think its a limited offer thing? I personally despise whiskey.. so i dont know if its a good choice or not, got a bottle for a friend for his birthday.. he was well made up with it.. but dont sure as present for her father..

Jack Daniels is bourbon. :D
And if Tennessee was not a hint, it aint British. ;)