Golden Wedding in Poland, the protocol for giving gift for a wedding?

500 zl per couple is the minimum expected.

Book them a weekend away in a nice hotel in Poland. you can pay online and send them the credit note.

That's a lovely idea.

I don't think that it's so good idea. Much better would be if they had voucher valid at least for few months. I wouldn't like being forced to go somewhere ad given date. I could have different plans and wasted gift is worse than no gift.

There is no need for a wedding gift if you are not present at the wedding. The purpose of a wedding gift (money) is to help cover the cost of the wedding. Since you weren't there, they didn't spend any money on you.

I agree, just send a wedding card

I am sure the OP would ask when there next free weekend would be?

If the OP wants to book in advance she could use
travel.groupon.pl
they give out vouchers to be used within 30 or 60 days.

I'm faced with a similar dilemma. My cousin (once removed) is getting married in Poland. I'm politely declining the invitation (Radom in November?!), but I'm stumped as to how much money to send.

The young couple is still struggling, but insist on spending 40,000 - 60,000 zł on the wedding for 120 guests. I have a strong suspicion that they're counting on large influx of money from us, the 'Merican contingent.

Now, by their standards, we are pretty rich, not the least of it because here most of the family gatherings, including weddings, are a backyard garden/beach home-made affairs. We simply do not hand over a bunch of money to venues that decide for us how the affair should be done.

In addition, there are couple of large home improvement projects that have to be done this year that will put a hurt on us, and I'm having a hard time handing over a $1000 for the bride to impress her in-laws.

I'm thinking $400 should be enough to make them happy. What do you think?

If I had to id pay 1200 pln and not in dollors as the amount certainly looks bigger and impressive.

Min. is 200 PLN per person. If you're rich the give 400 PLN per person. If they spend too much then it's their problem.

400pln is enough for an average middle income couple to give. 500pln would be generous. Anything above this would mean you're very closely related( A cousin once removed isn't that close) or you don't really care about money. Considering you're not even attending, anything would be generous.

Thank you all. This is a relief. :)

I would rather say 250 per person. Generally the custom is that you give more or less what the couple spend on you. If they get something above that it's a nice bonus. (Close family differes ofc)

If you give them $400 or 1200 PLN it would be very generous.

As you can see some here are of the opinion that it was rude of the married couple to ask for money. But I don't think so, since these people don't have all the facts as to what belongings each person had prior to the wedding. This way, they avoided the risk of guests giving duplicates of a gift someone may have given or what they may have already. By asking for money instead, the wedded couple can purchase what their combined households are missing or they could put the money into the bank and save it for a rainy day. Also, we don't know what their combined salaries are or what their expenses are. Those things are not for those of us here to know since that is private information and none of our business.

A bit too generous if you ask me. Keep in mind they may have closer family than you giving less than that. I would stick to what others said 250 to 400PLN depending on your relationship with the couple and your own income. If you are really not going to be hard up then you could push it up to 500 and that would be very much appreciated. More than that and I would feel you were being a bit flashy.

Frankly, I'd send no money at all if I wasn't attending. At most I'd send them three bottles of half decent wine, i.e. about 150zl's worth.


That's their choice and it's for them to pay for it. You are no more on the hook than you would be if they decided to by a BMW.

bride's mother was raised with me for my first 5 years. We kept in touch, but last time I offered to pay for her trip to visit me in Florida, she said she would rather have the money. :/

We already send $100 each for her, her mother and her daughter every Christmas, graduation etc. so this may become a bit of a materialistic relationship. Somebody suggested that since I am not coming, I could send more money as a present, and this was beginning to really irk me.

On second thought, $300 it is. In złotych.

That right there would have caused me to become at least 50% less generous.


And that would have halved it again.


So you're sending them about two and a half times what a Pole would give if he/she actually went to the party; well that'll certainly stop them from seeing you as a cash cow in the future.

grrr.
My mother swears she will only send $20.

Ditto this, some people are a bit ungrateful, thinking you will help pay for the wedding you're not going to. If that's the attitude...send them a gift voucher of $20 for Amazon

Well, it's good as well. Frankly speaking you and your famly are the best ones to decide, we can only advise based on OUR expirience. Don't sweat it too much it's not like you are very close (from what you wrote). We can't know if they are sincere or just playing up to get the money so you'll have to use your judgement.

Don't listen to anyone- think about it and do as you think and feel is right. No matter if it will be $300 or $30 you'll be the one who'll pay it and you have to feel ok with it.

I really would just send $20 worth of flowers.

Again, thank you all.
I think $20 would be insulting, especially since we already send $300 each Christmas (my mother started that, since this is her only sibling and her family, I'm just continuing the tradition for her). That's why I thought $400 might be a good number - more significant occasion than Christmas. What I would really like to do is send a $400 present. I thought about high quality Egyptian bed linens, but I was warned about un-standard bed sizes in Poland. Maybe linens are not the best choice..

One interesting factor in our deteriorating relationship is freakin' facebook. They keep posting all kinds of anti-American sht on their pages, and although I've been known to rage about the stupidities around me myself, for some reason I get defensive when I see their posts. Now that I think of it, this might be akin to those living in Poland objecting to criticisms from abroad. ;)

Spot on girl :)

Fine as long as you don't get fitted sheets and remember that the pillows in PL are a bit specific - and in any case, most large supermarkets sell 'normal' ones now.. Beds are usually 140cm, 160cm or sometimes 180cm. They are sometimes but not often larger.


You shouldn't worry - criticism is a sign that Poland's coming out of isolation. Nobody knows anything about Moldova or Latvia and therefore people nod politely when a Moldovan or Latvian talks about their culture or history and accepts their point of view without question. In the case of UK, US, Germany, everyone has opinions. Poland is becoming less like Moldova/Latvia and more like Britain, Germany etc - you'll therefore need to get used to people questioning the Polish point of view. On the whole it's the right direction to be going in.

So, official wedding invitation arrived in the mail.
Very nice.
On the back of it is an adorable poem, purportedly penned by the groom, essentially asking for money so they could build a house.
Again, opinions from all points of view will be appreciated. Really.
For reference, I just found a very similar poem (which immediately threw some doubts about the groom's poetic abilities, and possibly ethics), at the link below:

dewes.pl/allegro/ver20130101/wierszyki/wierszyk_nr_6.pdf

Clearly they can't be hurting for cash if they can send international mail to people who they are entirely sure are not coming.

They are clearly far more interested in your money than they are in you attending their wedding. I'd just send them $20 worth of flowers.

Don't exaggurate. Nobody expects her writing poems, so copying one is nothing wrong. International mail costs few PLN only. If she is going to build a house, then she is not poor. Asking for money is also all right, so people know not to bring some ne tv or vacoome cleaner. But you are not obliged to give them anything since you are not comming. It is all ok.

a small point, but just to clarify, she's been announcing repeatedly that her fiance wrote the poems on the invitations. So when I googled one, I was surprised to find it already existed.