Can I leave Poland with my children without my husbands written permission or not?

I really want to get out of here, I been living with my husbands parents now for 4 years whilst he "gets a job". He went to live with his grandfather back in January after he had a stroke and assured me this would only be for a few weeks until Działdek came to live with us, turns out, Działdek didn't want to live with us an now 6 months later he is still living there and I'm still living with his parents. It's taken a serious toll on our marriage and after an argument I just want out but he's told me I can't leave with our 3 year old daughter without his written permission? Is this true? I'm British and he is Polish, do I have any rights? Thankyou.

We need more info.
Are you working so you can get your own place ?

I'm working but it's no where near enough to get my own place other wise I would. I don't have a problem with living in Poland, I just have a problem living with his family.

what about father's rights - have you thought for a while

if the situation destroyed your marriage why not try divorcing and gaining full custody over the children

He spends about an hour a week with our daughter, this is not due to working hours it's about choice. He is supposed to spend all weekend with us but normally sleeps all day Sunday no matter how much I beg him to play with her. Also i'm getting sick of my daughter asking why daddy doesn't want to play with her. I would prefer to have a pieceful split with both sides agreeing on Where/When/How but he doesn't seem to be interested in this. I would only be able to stay here with a lot of financial support from him which I really don't see happening.

Also, I don't have the money for a lawyer or a court battle.

Unfortunately very difficult to win a court case against a local in a foreign country and it's particularly so in Poland ;).

To the OP: I am sorry for you and I hope you'll solve your problem somehow satisfactory to both.

As you know now, it's not the best option to live with Polish in-law family ;) (I know)

You mean ....can I take my kids where ever I bloody like without their father having absolutely no say at all

What a charming woman you are

I'm sure we're the boot on the foot ...and we're the father asking for similar rights - that is to say ...we're he to ask the court to take his kids to the end of world without any say from you - you'd be perfectly cool with it ?????

I don't think so

The selfishness of some polish mothers knows no bounds - even to the end of the world their self centred me me me me attituted couldn't be contained

If you want the kids father to have about absolutely no say whatsoever where they grow up - why choose him as a father in the first place ?

Dont his feelings count ? - or are you as the mother so special so fantastic so worthy so very important that the kids father counts for zip ?

I'm afraid poland is still a world away from anything like equal rights for both parents - though a positive encouraging sign of how things maybe - of how fathers could be treated , respected better was apparent yesterday in on rp.pl

I read that a new law was signed into effect this week by the president which would have the effect (or so it's to be hoped )of drastically reducing the amount of cases where fathers lose parental responsibility - and thus in any say in a where a, me me me focused mummy ,wants to uproot and take the kids with her.

I've gotta say the amount of forums where polish woman are asking similar questions to yours is legion - its truly depressing

" ....can I take my kids where ever I bloody like without their father having absolutely no say at all "

Doesn't sound like he is being much of a father though, does it?
An hour a week? Really?

In theory you can't leave Poland with the child without his permission. In theory you could apply to the court for permission to travel with the kid if you want to; the fact that he has abandoned his family and has virtually no contact with his daughter is not going to go in his favour. However, the Polish family court system is entirely unfit for purpose and can be an absolute nightmare. I'd strongly suggest steering well clear of it.


The Polish family court would most likely rule in your favour (i.e. award you custody and about 800 to 1,000zl a month in maintenance).

" I don't have a problem with living in Poland, I just have a problem living with his family."

maybe you should concentrate on this for the sake of happy relations for all....
you could live nearby(ish) so that dad can see the child.
years pass v quickly....

Didn't read your post fully.
apologies for lumping you together with polish mothers .
I can't think your task will be an easy one.
Speaking as a foriegn born father using the polish courts - you may well experience the kind of treatment dished out to us daily.

yours will be an interesting case
on the one hand as a mother - you truly are a saint in the eyes of a polish court and why shouldn't the father have absolutely no say at all in his child's life and where she may live.

on the other - as a foriegner, a brit no less! ,for you they may hold no sympathy.

Welcome to poland

That was a little bit hurtful James Mallone but thankyou for the apology. It's not my intent to withhold him from his children or visa versa it's simply the fact that I cannot afford to live here by myself but in the UK I can live with my family. I've been trying to get him to show interest in our daughter for three years now to no avail and not living together has only made it worse. That's precisely why I don't want this to go to court because i'm certain that they will not rule in my favour as i'm a foreigner. If he would agree to pay child maintence I might be able to afford somewhere small.......as I only get 300zł per month from him towards our daughter at the moment, I can't see him giving me between 800zł - 1000zł :(

Are your family members willing to help you to return to Britain in order for you to visit with them? That will give you and the child a break away from the current situation and a chance for the kid to visit your side of the family. Also, it might give the father a wake up call that if he doesn't smarten up and own up to the fact that he needs to get some employment and take a more active participation in the kids' life. And if he wants you to come back, then you can force the situation by going to a marriage counselor to work things out before going through with a divorce or the courts. My parents got a divorce when I was under the age of 5 and I never really got to know my father or his side of the family. When I did make contact, things started to come out that family on both sides were interfering a bit, but I never did get the full story. Then when my father died, I attended his funeral, but I never missed a beat since I never knew him well enough to be upset at his death.

Not possible for a holiday at the moment, we went to UK for a month back in December and I'm struggling financially from it. My parents aren't so well off but able to help with childcare.

I am willing to go to a marriage counsellor but everytime I suggest it he tells me that I am the problem and if I changed we'd have no problems :(

So tell him that he has until Friday 7 August to go to the first session with a marriage counselor or you're filing for divorce.

By the way, to know a little bit of your husband's point of views and he says you're the problem. What does he want you to change?

@El-Easy: right! We did not hear the husband's point of view

@Harry: why August 7?