so anyway I have Kanjorszewski and Koniuszewski
Sorry to burst your bubble but Kanjorszewski does not sound natural to a native and a bit strange if you ask me. Even if one never came across a given surname before this one will always be a suspect to a native speaker as made up, there's no root word in it to associate with.
it's the pronunciation that's the main thing, it has to be Can your chef ski.
This statement speaks volume as to your intention, as for the punch-line I don't know about his skiing ability but my chef-can't-cook-for-sh*t.
PS. Your formula will not work in Polish no matter how much you insist.