Life / Do trailer park people exist in Poland? [18]

Be sure to check out "ustawka" on YT. As I said football hooligans consist mostly of "dresiarze". Sometimes two groups that are at "war" organise za "battle" which is called "ustawka".

ps:
Using such words as "war" and "battle" to describe actions of those idiots really leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. :/ I guess the press in England would call it "rumpus". Or at least I'm lead to believe so by Terry Pratchett.

Language / What does 'gon sie' mean? [21]

If that is not a conversation among friends then he's being nasty. She could reply:
"Wal się" - "go an f... yourself"
"Odpierdol się" - "f... off"
"Spierdalaj" - "f... off" with a diffrent twist, a bit less vulgar then "Odpierdol się"
etc.

But probably best would be to ignore the hell out of the guy, because he's just being an immature ass. "Goń się" IMO is reserved for teens. Anyone above 18yo using "goń się" is just... lame.

Language / Polish saying about spider webs? [21]

My gran just used to say that if you kill a spider then it will rain heavily all day long, basically killing a spider = bad weather. :P

Life / Do trailer park people exist in Poland? [18]

You get very few "trailer trash" type people in Poland as you see them in UK or US. But you'll see lots of folks that fit the description:

- golden jewlery,
- track suits/sports wear 24h/7,
- typical roidosaurus sporting no neck and primitive behaviour,
- usually quite agressive and often racist, homophobic and antisemite with a strong nationalist attitude,
- generally antisocial,
- abusing alcohol, drugs,
- macho type culture with really terrible approach to women,
- etc.

They are called "dresi" or "dresiarze" in Poland. Usually they form the backbone of football hooligan groups and acts as soliders in gangs/mafia at least untill they get "promoted".

They don't live in trailer parks mostly because in Poland there's not much of that. Usually they come from housing estates comprised of big blocks of flats, so called "wielka płyta" in Poland. Some more come from the poorer areas where you can still find buildings ("kamienice") and streets which remember pre-IIWW times or times just after the II WW.

In media they are reffered to as coming from "pathological background" or "defunct families". Usually that means mother/father alcoholic, unemployed or convicted, often living of social care and with no real prospects of finding normal work. Actually if an opportunity arises they often avoid work, so today many experts start to ring alarm bells warning of a situation where social care is creating a state of inherited dependence on state help.

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]

Good luck than, man, in this endevour and let's just hope that the kid comes out of this with his/her psyche intact. I suppose it is possibly better to have two loving parents fighting over one then none at all, but still not as good as two loving parents working in concert. I hope you guys manage to come to an amiable solution.

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]

To Anglik1

I don't know you. I don't know her. Nothing you say here on this forum can be validated so we might say we see one side of the story or maybe there is no side, just a very edited picture. I don't know. Who am I to judge anyway? Just another anon nick on the forum.

So fishing for stuff that in this case must be true, otherwise there would be no case, I'm assuming that you exist, she exists, she had a child, the child is presumably yours, she wanted to go back home with the child and have nothing to do with you, you stopped her by legal means.

Now I'm trying to put myself in her mind, regardles of everything else that has been said here (ie.: psychological issues with creating a family, etc.):

I'm a woman in a foreign country who just had a child with a man with whom I no longer want to have any dealings with. I might be still a bit shaken after childbirth (not an easy thing to go through). I want to terminate my connection with this man and go back home for reasons perhaps unknown, maybe those that were mentioned here or maybe because I can no longer support myself abroad, etc. The man who impregnated me turns to the state and law to force me to stay in a foreign country. I have to stay, because I can't abandon my child. In fact I'm in trouble either way. If I go, I can't take my child. If I stay, my free will is curtailed and I'm forced to stay by a man I didn't want to have any contact with in the first place.

All things put aside... how does that make me feel inside about that man?

I don't know about her, but going by my own personal experiences, feelings and general outlook on life, if I were her, I'd see you not as a worried father, but as a <long line of censored words> who keeps me prisoner in a foreign country, while I just want to go home. Suddenly every policeperson, every civil servant, every lawyer and judge are my enemies. All of the either forbid me to go or threaten to take my child away if I try. And you are the reason, it's YOUR FAULT! I'd probably wish all sorts of worst possible things to happen to you, instant death being last on the list as "to nice". I'd want you to suffer.

Sorry for caps lock. It's just for emphasis.

I'm a man myself. Everytime I read an article about divorces, etc. and the bias that men face there I feel my stomach turning with anger. I have a kid myself. The very thought that my life partner might grab him and take off God knows where sends chills down my spine. So reading this thread I can probably emulate some of your emotions aswell and guess the line of thought behind calling in everything at your disposal to stop her leaving.

I try to understand. I sympathize.

At the same time I can't stop wondering how she feels. Trapped? Maybe.

Perhaps it might have been better to let her go and then try to win her trust again. She might have been feeling safer on familiar ground. More willing to talk. I don't know. I don't know the whole story. I'm not a psychologist. Really.

I'm just thinking, that if I were trying to "go home and leave all troubles behind" and someone slammed a gate on me saying "You can't go."... I'd have to dig deep and hard to stop feeling angry.

Maybe that's one of the reasons she doesn't want to talk to you. If that's the case, bridges are burned. You can't unmake what's been done. Even if you lift the gates, she'll remember and even if you patch things up she might not want to come back or let your son visit you, out of fear that you might slam the gates shut again.

I sure would be affraid. You'd have to work pretty damn hard to earn my trust again.

I'm glad I'm not in your shoes. I hope I never will be. But with divorce rates over 50% rampaging all over the world and with courts practically always siding with mothers I can't really say that I'm 100% sure I won't experience something similar. Only... ~50% sure. That... scares me.

Language / What does 'gon sie' mean? [21]

Depends on context. In some rare cases among close friends it's not an insult but a way of saying goodbye.

Unfortunatelly in general use one might probably liken it to "go and f... yourself" although it's not a perfect 1:1 translation, because in Polish "goń się" is not as vulgar as "pierd... się" which is in fact 1:1 translation of "go and f.... yourself".

Perhaps the best comparison would be simply "f...k off" for Polish "goń się".