Love / American woman falls in love with a charming Polish man upon his visit to the U.S. [36]

Thank you and thanks to everyone for helping to clarify things in this situation. Maybe the direction of a new thread should be "News and Politics" "What do you think about the new Polish laws on stalking and what defines stalking in Poland?" which I will not take up. Honestly I am weary from it all. I am an American citizen and therefore I am not a criminal for stalking in cyberspace. I didn't think a title for my thread like "Do Polish people use the word molest lightly?" would go over well with you all.


I'm thinking this is not an appropriate place to deviate into a discussion about me.

Love / American woman falls in love with a charming Polish man upon his visit to the U.S. [36]

mujisushi


His last message, before he drew the line in the sand, was on Christmas Eve. He just sent the message to stop writing on Monday, February 9th, U.S. time.


...ya, what was I thinking. I guess I thought maybe this was just a Polish thing. I read about your wedding customs with regards to silence if a woman is not sure about a man who is proposing. In the U.S., I would not have continued to contact a man if he would not respond to me because I know people are direct and will just come out and say, "Look, I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but I am not interested in a relationship." Hind sight is 20/20

Who knows, maybe someone is reading this post who is being stalked, and they will stand up for themselves and get some help.

Love / American woman falls in love with a charming Polish man upon his visit to the U.S. [36]


Not to beat a dead horse, but this gets us to the heart of the matter. In the U.S., we also have stalking laws. If someone is sending unwanted messages this could also be termed stalking in conversation here. I'm not justifying my actions, just telling my story to you, his people, for clarity, instead of once more bringing my questions to him or no one.

But legally, in the U.S., stalking becomes suspicious and in need of being addressed when the person receiving the messages feels threatened or becomes fearful. If they ask someone to stop and the victim cuts off all contact, but the pursuer continues and especially if they become aggressive, then eventually the victim will need to report it to the authorities. The victim fears for their well being.

The very respectful Polish man I met while backpacking is a law professor. He knows legally, in Poland, when my pursuit crosses the line. He has drawn a line in the sand, and I will not just "try" to stop now, I will stop and have stopped.

I do wonder, though, if he sees me as a criminal. In the U.S., I would not be deemed a criminal. There are words to describe what I did, but criminal is certainly not one of them. Where do you draw the line otherwise. I can see the headline: "Man imprisoned for sending roses to love interest." I am asking you, as a representative of this law professor's people, do you think he thinks I am a criminal? Do you think I am, by Polish law, a criminal?

And yes, this Polish man is worth far more than his weight in gold. He did nothing wrong, even while we were together briefly. His girlfriend, or wife, or whoever would be very proud of him.