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Posts by Rameses  

Joined: 16 Apr 2010 / Male ♂
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From: Devon UK
Speaks Polish?: No

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Rameses   
8 Sep 2010
Love / What do I do? Children of my Polish lady are depending on me for money. [13]

Thank you everyone who has replied so far for your advice and comments. I know that, at the end of the day, I have to decide one way or the other, nobody else can do that for me.

Things look like turning even more complicated now as my partners' one friend in Poland, a lady about my age, looks like she may be about to lose her husband, who is very ill in hospital in Wroclaw. As she has no family in Poland and her son lives in the USA, her daughter in Australia, my partner is now talking about having her come over to the UK as well. She also has some health problems of her own.

She does have a property over there which is worth quite a lot of money which she could sell and which would provide enough cash to buy a small home here but she speaks no English and would be reliant on us (probably mostly me in truth) to sort everything out and deal with stuff for her. I just don't feel I want to take her problems on as well at my age, especially as I have suffered quite a lot of stress in my life already.

Perhaps selfishly, I just want a quiet life!
Rameses   
6 Sep 2010
Love / What do I do? Children of my Polish lady are depending on me for money. [13]

I am British, nearly 62 years old, and have been married twice.

In 2006 I met a Polish lady 10 years older than me on the internet. It turned out that her daughter and future son-in-law were already living near me and she was planning to come over to the UK herself.

I met her twice before she came over to live with me, in January 2007. She lived with me (just the two of us together) until November when, as a temporary measure, we all moved in together in a rented house. In January 2008 the daughter and son-in-law lost their jobs within two months of one another.

Since then the son-in-law has got a job as a bus driver and the daughter set up her own business with money given to her by her mother which she, in turn, had been left by her own mother when she died in September 2008. The business has not been a succes and, between them, the daughter and son-in-law have racked up massive debts - at a guess -well over £30,000. Creditors are chasing them at every turn and they duck and dive and use every trick in the book to avoid facing their creditors.

My partner works 6 days a week and spends a lot of her earnings on helping the two of them out. She gives me money towards rent and bills but it still only about 20% of the total monthly expenditure. She is a good woman but is incredibly soft and does everything her daughter (who is very demanding and arrogant) asks of her. She (the daughter) has a wonderful ability to turn on the tears when she wants something. I my partner is actually scared of her for some reason.

I feel like I am in an impossible situation, sometimes I just want to leave them all and start a new life - another I feel so sorry for my partner as, if I were to do that, she would have nobody as her mother is dead, she has no contact with her one brother back in Poland and her daughter treats her like dirt much of the time. I have tried talking with her and her daughter but it is like hitting a brick wall. Neither of them want to face reality and I feel like whilst I just go on supporting them all financially (which is what I am effectively doing) nothing will ever change. The two "lodgers" are never going to be able to rent a place of their own with their abysmal credit record - any credit check would make a prospective landlord run a mile (1.6 kilometres!)

This is just a brief summary of the history of the situation and there is much, much more I could write and tell but this is the gist of it.

I am at my wit's end and just can't make a decision about what to do. Has anyone else any experience of anything like this?

Any advice/guidance/thoughts would be welcome.