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Posts by obila  

Joined: 14 Mar 2010 / Male ♂
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obila   
14 Mar 2010
Love / How to turn a No into a Yes (she invited me to Poland to meet her) [30]

That's what my friend says... So far I have seen very little signs of "princess syndrome". She's just so scared that she'll be hurt. But we've all been hurt, haven't we? Life is about moving on, trial/error. I think both she and I know that we're good, decent people. And we laugh a lot together...

beelzebub: Well, the thing is A) her English is not so good, so maybe she meant something else. Sometimes, I have to decrypt her. Let's say she meant "I don't know. I'm overwhelmed, I can't say Yes/No". B) What's more, I realized she's more of a conservative type. She confessed she had never hooked up with someone the day after they met. Technically, we had been "e-dating" for 2 months but it's true that it was the first time we had met in the flesh.
obila   
14 Mar 2010
Love / How to turn a No into a Yes (she invited me to Poland to meet her) [30]

Thanks for all your feedback. You see, everything was good before the trip... It was good during the trip... It was even good after the trip till I was "too persistent" that Friday night (Feb 26th). She did not reply any of my SMS (unusual) till late in the evening. She said she had had a terrible day and sweet dreams. Had I been smarter I would have let her go till the day after. However, I showed my concern, I wanted her to share her "frustration" (she's got a stressful top manager job) but it was obviously a bad idea. From that day onwards, everything went wrong. I agree with Darun, she's not a decision maker, my friend always tells me about this. She's like a little princess sometimes (so I hear). OK, I'll play it smart but time is running against me :-( As I said, there's a lot at stake her, I wouldn't care that much otherwise.
obila   
14 Mar 2010
Love / How to turn a No into a Yes (she invited me to Poland to meet her) [30]

I know, I know, I don't want to get hurt. So far nobody's been hurt, though. I just feel I did not give her the space she needed and she got pissed off. Financially, I'm OK to travel to Poland again but what's the excuse? Meet our common friend again (they just happen to be neighbours!). As I said, she's a good person.
obila   
14 Mar 2010
Love / How to turn a No into a Yes (she invited me to Poland to meet her) [30]

Hi folks. I met this amazing girl through a common friend. We started e-dating back in December. Email, Skype, SMS and even calls. We got along, we liked each other, everything was easy. In January, she invited me over to Poland to meet her. I went there about 2 weeks ago. It was great, I had VIP treatment, she and our common friend took me places... I soon realized she was great, I liked her both inside and outside so I made a move. She was not keen on the idea, she thought we'd better stay friends. Her reasons: she could never make happy (?¿). But then again she enjoyed being with me, she confessed she liked me, she thought there was chemistry. Short: we hooked up and it was all fine. She did not set boundaries, she seemed perfectly happy but she'd still say "How can you be sure you like me that much?", "I don't know what I want" and ultimately "I can't say Yes or No, I'm not sure I'll miss you strongly when you're gone".

I flew back home with a big smile, even though the answer was on the line. I sent her flowers a few days later and they were welcome. Everything was OK till I started texting her too much and she felt I was rushing. I apologized and she said it was all OK, she just needed time. I guess I did not quite got the message (men may be very stupid sometines!) and I did not give her all the space she needed. I sent her flowers again and she seemed pissed off by my persistence. She stopped communicating for some days.

In the meantime, I got some feedback from our common friend. He said she said she liked me, she thought I was nice, there was a lot of chemistry but she felt I was rushing too much, she doubted my feelings for her (i.e. how can somebody fall in love that quickly and stuff).

Just a few days ago we got in touch again. She seemed nice again, I had been silent too. She now says she "loves me as a friend" despite the list of positives (which is huge). She was worried about me, she asked me not to hate her.

Well, how could I hate her... She's a very good person, she's just too scared to try (she always says "I've been hurt before"). And according to my mole, she's not a decision maker...

Anyway, she started texting me after this declaration, "I can't sleep", "Are you awake", "Please don't hate me". I said no problem, take it easy, you're good even if you wanna be my friend only. She texted me again so I finally called her...

So, I said we'll be friends, no problem, if you change your mind I'll be waiting for you... She kept me on the line for about one hour. She would not hang up. I could see she was like seconds away from saying "let's try". She asked over and over how come I liked her so much, how can you be so sure. But then she'd say "There's a risk if we try, I can't". So she said "dobranoc" with very touching words...

The day after I just wished her a nice holiday via SMS. She replied happily, like nothing had ever happened. I'm not interacting while she's on hols now...

Well, just to be on the same page: she's the most amazing girl I've had the chance to meet over the past 10 years. I feel it. I'm slowly but surely falling in love with her and losing her would be painful. I don't know what to do... Some people say: play hard to get, don't get in touch. She seems messed up but she's also determined to stay friends and no more.

Any feedback appreciated!