selena
6 Nov 2009
Love / How to Make (Polish?) Women happy? [96]
I have been learning (and somtimes giggling) from the posts here but this is a bit over the top. I am not attracted to men who do not act like men but I cannot even imagine being attracted to a man who would try to be a man by adopting a stupid set of facile behaviours which, aside from most likely being completely self-defeating, cause self-doubt in women who admire and adore real men.
I. Never say ‘I Love You’ first
Why, really (and yes I read the link) would you not? You would risk losing a woman you are in fact love to your made-up ego?
II. Make her jealous
I think real women do not mind that other women are attracted to her man or that he sometimes looks at and appreciates the beauty of other women (there are many, many beautiful women in the world) but jealousy is one of the most petty emotions, what says that about you if you are actually cultivating it?
III. You shall make your mission, not your woman, your priority
If I were a feminist B I would respond to this by saying that unlike women who can successfully address multiple and changing priorities men are only capable of addressing a single one.
IV. Don’t play by her rules
I can agree with this. I try not to be prickly but I can be and I know that I could not be in a relationship in which I did not respect the man and part of what builds that respect is a man who will not compromise on the things that really matter.
V. Adhere to the golden ratio (Give your woman 2/3 of everything she gives you)
This I do not agree with at all. Everything we give you is already more like 5/2. And we do it out of love and generosity and a smitten desire to please, I do not know women who keep score of these things, at least not any women that have a man receptive to their efforts.
VI. Keep her guessing
Guessing if she made a huge mistake? If you are not the man you presented yourself to be?
VII. Always keep two in the kitty
Does not deserve to be dignified by an answer.
VIII. Say you’re sorry only when absolutely necessary
Two "sorries" for an entire relationship?? How long do your relationships last? We're all human, we all F* up. Sometimes there are outside consequences, sometimes there should be consequences between the man and the woman but for all the possible stupid things we can all do, many times without meaning any harm, just two?
IX. Connect with her emotions
And if you followed these rules, you would know to do that how?
X. Ignore her beauty
I am somewhat sure Dante would have reserved a special circle of hell for this if he'd imagined anyone would ever suggest it. Perhaps you should avoid artifice or persons with hidden agendas or just address your own insecurities, but to "ignore beauty" in a world that's not always easy to navigate or even look at, why would you do that?
XI. Be irrationally self-confident
This I can agree with, until one day you utter the phrase "hold my beer and watch this sh**"
XII. Maximize your strengths, minimize your weaknesses
This I also agree with, except that in a relationship I think it would be good sometimes to be honest and admit that you just are not the best half of the relationship to do a certain thing. I think that is part of why we want to have solid relationships, so we can each shine at what we do best and benefit as well from what the person we commit to can do better.
Responding to Zimmy on women and men "marrying up" "marrying down" If this were true would we not all be all on the same level by now? or at least we could expect to be in the next generation?
I have been learning (and somtimes giggling) from the posts here but this is a bit over the top. I am not attracted to men who do not act like men but I cannot even imagine being attracted to a man who would try to be a man by adopting a stupid set of facile behaviours which, aside from most likely being completely self-defeating, cause self-doubt in women who admire and adore real men.
I. Never say ‘I Love You’ first
Why, really (and yes I read the link) would you not? You would risk losing a woman you are in fact love to your made-up ego?
II. Make her jealous
I think real women do not mind that other women are attracted to her man or that he sometimes looks at and appreciates the beauty of other women (there are many, many beautiful women in the world) but jealousy is one of the most petty emotions, what says that about you if you are actually cultivating it?
III. You shall make your mission, not your woman, your priority
If I were a feminist B I would respond to this by saying that unlike women who can successfully address multiple and changing priorities men are only capable of addressing a single one.
IV. Don’t play by her rules
I can agree with this. I try not to be prickly but I can be and I know that I could not be in a relationship in which I did not respect the man and part of what builds that respect is a man who will not compromise on the things that really matter.
V. Adhere to the golden ratio (Give your woman 2/3 of everything she gives you)
This I do not agree with at all. Everything we give you is already more like 5/2. And we do it out of love and generosity and a smitten desire to please, I do not know women who keep score of these things, at least not any women that have a man receptive to their efforts.
VI. Keep her guessing
Guessing if she made a huge mistake? If you are not the man you presented yourself to be?
VII. Always keep two in the kitty
Does not deserve to be dignified by an answer.
VIII. Say you’re sorry only when absolutely necessary
Two "sorries" for an entire relationship?? How long do your relationships last? We're all human, we all F* up. Sometimes there are outside consequences, sometimes there should be consequences between the man and the woman but for all the possible stupid things we can all do, many times without meaning any harm, just two?
IX. Connect with her emotions
And if you followed these rules, you would know to do that how?
X. Ignore her beauty
I am somewhat sure Dante would have reserved a special circle of hell for this if he'd imagined anyone would ever suggest it. Perhaps you should avoid artifice or persons with hidden agendas or just address your own insecurities, but to "ignore beauty" in a world that's not always easy to navigate or even look at, why would you do that?
XI. Be irrationally self-confident
This I can agree with, until one day you utter the phrase "hold my beer and watch this sh**"
XII. Maximize your strengths, minimize your weaknesses
This I also agree with, except that in a relationship I think it would be good sometimes to be honest and admit that you just are not the best half of the relationship to do a certain thing. I think that is part of why we want to have solid relationships, so we can each shine at what we do best and benefit as well from what the person we commit to can do better.
Responding to Zimmy on women and men "marrying up" "marrying down" If this were true would we not all be all on the same level by now? or at least we could expect to be in the next generation?