Love / All Polish women can't be nutters can they? [257]

No, i don't think all Polish women are nutters.

The one I was seeing in relation to my posting a while ago was a bit of a fruit cake.

"6 months with my girlfriend and I still don't understand her"

But two weeks ago I found myself a new Polish girlfriend, and she is so nice, genuine and treats me like a women would in any normal relationship.

Now I am very happy :-)

Love / 6 months with my Polish girlfriend and I still don't understand her.. [208]

Understandle, you've only read the first posting, as you read on, you will see things have concluded.

Understandable (sorry, spelt it wrong)

Love / 6 months with my Polish girlfriend and I still don't understand her.. [208]

hearing postive and realistic advice certainly helps.

thanks :)

Love / 6 months with my Polish girlfriend and I still don't understand her.. [208]

Thats one thing I haven't done, is drown my sorrows, I have avoided drinking, because like you say, the mind will think about her.

Love / 6 months with my Polish girlfriend and I still don't understand her.. [208]

Thanks Ranj,

Yeah i feel bad, empty, lost, things that were planned for her birthday, Easter and other events are gone, just like that!

Love / 6 months with my Polish girlfriend and I still don't understand her.. [208]

Yeah, I know RazZ, it's just going to be hard to let go for a while, but I know I have to, she has moved on without a care in the world. I tried calling her like she told me to for a chat, but straight to voicemail, maybe thats a clue to how she feels now?

Thanks 4 the advice RazZ

Love / 6 months with my Polish girlfriend and I still don't understand her.. [208]

Yeah, I know what you're saying daffy. I did say we could be friends for now, but whether it would be good in the future, I don't know, especially when she gets engaged, married, pregnant - that will hurt, but not as much if I meet someone else in that time.

Love / 6 months with my Polish girlfriend and I still don't understand her.. [208]

Hi everyone,

well, might as well come clean, there's no good pretending that things are okay.

My situation finally came to a conclusion a couple of weeks ago, two days after I came back from Poland.

As you may have all read, things weren't a bed of roses during the last few months for me anyway, but I thought with a bit of hardwork, we could have worked things out, me going out more frequent to build on the relationship.

I went out about three weeks ago, womens day was on the Thursday, so I thought I would include that in my trip to see her. Perhaps there were signs then, I had been there nearly a week before she met up with me. Bottom line is we met on the Wednesday and Thursday, I gave her gifts and a pink tullip for womens day, we sat in the park, she opened the gifts we talked, smiled, laughed and joked, i thought things were going okay. Later that day she left, she kissed me goodbye, not the visit I had planned but we spent time together. I even got invited back out for her birthday.

Got back to the UK, and over the course of a few days, learnt that she had decided to give things another go with an ex boyfriend from a few years ago - talk about kick in the teeth. This wasn't a one day decision, they must have talked about this for some time, sorting out their previous differences etc.

We spoke on the phone, she cried, she probably didn't think I would be as calm as I was, she said she wanted to keep contact. I asked if the language was an issue, apparently it wasn't, but I think in a way it was, although from a Polish background, I wasn't born and raised there, so maybe I didn't have a proper understanding of the lifestyle and culture - I don't know?

I can't help think, if I had done things differently would everything be different now? Perhaps I was not good enough for her, a million things go through my head everyday.

Over the last two weeks, we have had contact a bit, text message here, 2 min phone call there, but generally contact is getting less.

It seems everything we ever did together, places we went, the good times we had, don't mean a thing to her now, I can't understand it! I was never bad to her, all i ever tried to be was good. :(

I am going back to Poland next week for Easter to see family, and thought about heading off to meet her for the day, like she said we could-as friends. But perhaps I am prolonging the pain, maybe what we shared together, will make it impossible for us to be friends I don't know?

Love / 6 months with my Polish girlfriend and I still don't understand her.. [208]

What makes you think that Huegel?

Love / 6 months with my Polish girlfriend and I still don't understand her.. [208]

Thanks globetrotter,

I appreciate your help

Hey Globetrotter,

Just wandered if you had anymore news from your ex-colleague.

Cheers

Love / 6 months with my Polish girlfriend and I still don't understand her.. [208]

I think I understand her now.......................

People who posted onto this topic may say.....you're a fool, leave it be, move on, she is still messing with your head etc.

But..............after a long chat last night, things have become clearer to me, about this whole situation.

It appears, as i thought, that it was my last visit that changed things with her. Apparently she said she thought it would change things with us, but it didn't.

And i knew, what tha meant straight away, the lack of affection I showed to her in the whole visit. I had nothig to lose, so I opened up my heart and told her why.

I said she couldn't imagine the number of times i wanted to hold her, hold her hand, brush the hair out of her eyes and kiss her, I love you. I told her I was sat watching her staring out of the window one day, and all i wanted to do was walk up behind her and hug her lovingly. I suppose I didn't because I knew she was hurt bad in the past, and didn't know the reaction it would generate, more the fool me for not trying.

It was quiet on the phone, she listened.

The end result was, she said she would have a think over the weekend and let me know how things stood, perhaps others here will say, mate its still mind games, but I couldn't let go altogether until I had found the real reason behind this.

Yes, perhaps I am living over the next few days on false hope, maybe the answer will still be the same, but like globetrotter said, if you feel so strong about someone, and you don't make the call, you could live with a lifetime of regret if you didn't try.

I think if the answer is still the same, then i have to let go, I think I have said all i can now in two long phone calls this week, apart from telling her my feelings for her are so genuine, there is nothing more I can think of doing (short of offering her a ring, which i just think wouldn't work?)

Well everyone, it seems my situation has improved.

Spoke to my girl las night, she got my last e-mail, she said I should come over to her when the snow has cleared a bit (lives in a small place) and see how things go from there.

I am going to keep a very open mind about everything and not get excited until I am out actually out there with her, but I realise after the last three weeks, I might have to take things slow, perhaps I was to keen before and she felt trapped???

But it's right what others said, communication is the key, and in my case it has worked.

I'll just have to see how it goes from here.

(And if sparky is reading this posting, I didn't realise there were alternate versions of this username until I had signed up, I think people will know the difference between Sparky and sparky359)

Love / 6 months with my Polish girlfriend and I still don't understand her.. [208]

If i am truly honest,

Monday night was a good nights sleep, the weeks of uncertainty are at an end, perhaps all i needed was closure.

Love / 6 months with my Polish girlfriend and I still don't understand her.. [208]

yeah, i know, perhaps with time I'll get over her.

I just thought she was the one for me.

If i think about it perhaps the signs were there all along.

I don't blame Poland on this one girl, my love for the country is still strong, maybe we just weren't compatible, like many people have said to me here and off-line, you can't make someone love you if they don't feel the same. There is a women out there who would appreciate the love I have to offer, and would show it all back to me.

Love / 6 months with my Polish girlfriend and I still don't understand her.. [208]

Yeah, i realise its going to hurt more it i'm going to chase this.

But I can't let go just yet, there's so many things I need to know from her.

The main thing, is what happend since christmas to make her feel like this, its just so sudden, it's not as if things were going wrong up until then. Another Polish friend told me before Xmas, she was so happy that I was coming to Poland to see her.

She did send me a text last night to say she was sorry if she hurt me, she didn't want to.

I think there is more to this than she is letting on.

Love / 6 months with my Polish girlfriend and I still don't understand her.. [208]

Thanks everyone,

Yeah, I spoke to her last night for an hour. She didn't mention anything about this friendship thing until I asked her.

To be honest things just don't add up? Something has happened since my visit at Christmas to make her think like this. Before then everything was ok. At Christmas we met another of her friends from her village, he was laughing and joking with her, when I asked her what was wrong she said now he knows I'm not single????

She did say to be as well that I wasn't very chatty with her family, was that a put off for her? With the language problem both ways I tried my best, probably would have been better with time. We didn't hold hands, kiss, cuddle or anything in view of her family and friends, bascially I didn't know how she would have reacted, this sort of thing produced negative responses in the begining.

Another thing she told me, is that she is taking her Police exams. Perhaps she thinks it would be better being single to get through that and not have any distractions (me)

Well globetrotter, i get what your saying. I spoke to her last night, I feel like having a chat today with her, but don't want to put the guilt trip on her, perhaps I will leave it a few days and then call her.

Am i willing to change, yes of course, she knows that. I was prepared to give my job up and relocate to Poland, my father offered to buy a house out there, I am trying to learn Polish, I am getting my birth certificate registered to get confirmation of citizenship to get a passport (father is Polish)..........................................??????????????????

I am not angry at her, just need more questions answering, because none of this makes sense to me, too many things she told me are not adding up!

Love / 6 months with my Polish girlfriend and I still don't understand her.. [208]

Yeah, but will she come to me? I don't think so!

She doesn't know that her friend has contacted me, so when we speak next, she will be none the wiser.

Perhaps.......I don't know...........she will say something different?

Love / 6 months with my Polish girlfriend and I still don't understand her.. [208]

Yeah I suppose.

I was just hoping the info was going to be positive.

It's just weard after visiting the family etc and all the other stuff.

I will talk to her about it, in a way I am hoping she will say something different.
Short term we could be friends, but to here she is with someone else and more would be so hard.

Love / 6 months with my Polish girlfriend and I still don't understand her.. [208]

I know, discretion is a must in these sort of situations. I have asked things to my girlfriend in the past, and she'll just close up if she's put on the spot and feels uncomfortable about a topic, even if its put to her in a gentle way. Her best friend and i suppose my friend, is just going to get a general view of how things are regarding where she feels things are going, I know her and her friend talk about everything that we do together, and I mean everything! :) At least it will give me some sort of idea of how to put things to her, when I talk about things, hopefully.

Well people,

Its the news i have been dreading.

Further to previous posting, my girlfriends friend took her out for a beer on the weekend and they talked about me.

Apparently, she likes me like a friend not like a boyfriend. I am gutted.......................

When I think about all the good times, and the money I've spent, she could have told me earlier?

I now know, I have to ask her myself where things are going, even though I know the answer probably.

I am going to get so pissed tonight.

Love / 6 months with my Polish girlfriend and I still don't understand her.. [208]

Yeah, I suppose patient is part of it all, it does seem she has a lot of family stuff going on, on a day to day basis.

I spoke with her best friend yesterday, she said she will take her for a beer on the weekend and discreetly ask her about everything, she said she knows something but has to ask her again to be sure.

Love / 6 months with my Polish girlfriend and I still don't understand her.. [208]

I did ask her last week if there was anything I had done to upset her or something because I hadn't heard off her, but she said no I hadn't, she was just busy helping out with her sisters new born baby.

But I don't know, there clearly is something up, no texts or replies to what I text for two weeks??

She has got a best friend who I am in contact with from time to time, as she worked with her in the UK, and I got to know them both well. But she wouldn't say anything about her friend and I'm sure she did pass on my concerns about the relationship when we talked last.

Yeah, I suppose it is crunch time. What I hear off her might not be what I want to hear really, it would be hard to let go after all the great times we had together over the last six months, but its probably better to know now, than continue living in this state of uncertainty. (would like a decent nights sleep as well)

I appreciate all the advice everyone has posted, makes things easier.

Love / 6 months with my Polish girlfriend and I still don't understand her.. [208]

In Poland we spoke every other day, in the UK it seems to be twice a week.

Texts seemed to have dryed up from her as well.

no, i'll probably not fly in the morning. I have got so much annual leave from work I can go whenever, will call her tomorrow and suggest next weekend???

Love / 6 months with my Polish girlfriend and I still don't understand her.. [208]

Yeah, I did book the flight to go and see her. A few days after I flew back to the UK after New Years Day she asked "When are you back" so i booked to go back out to so that I would see he on a regular basis and keep this relationship going.

But, its Wednesday today, and I haven't heard much positive encouragement or any encouragement to be honest that really makes me want to catch my flight in the morning. She lives 1 -2 hrs away from Warsaw.

Yes, I agree Phasic, you think she would be joyous to know that I was coming to see her for a long weekend, doesn't leave much hope for a Valentines weekend in Feb hey!

Yeah Casper, I agree with your point. In all the times I have spoken to her, I have never come across as being angry or emotional, I have just been positive and fun to be around etc

But generally its tiring and wearing, I honestly don't think she knows what she wants from life at the moment.

Love / 6 months with my Polish girlfriend and I still don't understand her.. [208]

thanks incognito

Love / 6 months with my Polish girlfriend and I still don't understand her.. [208]

Yeah, if anyone could translate it, that would be great, thanks

Love / 6 months with my Polish girlfriend and I still don't understand her.. [208]

Hi people,

Yeah, at the moment I could quite easily give up on her, but there is something about her that makes me hold out longer, don't know what? Love? and I am sure the same can be said for her in a way, although she once told me she finds it hard to show her feelings?

Nationality, well I thought that having a Polish background would help me (father, brother, sister etc) well, I suppose it has in a way. Trying to learn the language at the moment, and have approached a lawyer in Warsaw to apply to get confirmation of citizenship to get a passport etc.

To me six months seems like a long time, and the relationship should be well established by now and blooming, perhaps I am mistaken?

I have booked a flight to Warsaw on Thursday, but she says she might be busy that weekend, so good job it was only a low cost airline.

Does anybody think that family has an influence on how Polish women act? perhaps they think about what their parents and older generations will think about what they do?

Krysia, could you translate what Giles wrote please;

"My Polish princess you are making me feel uneasy and strange in my head, because we aren't communicating, please tell me what your worries are and what you want or need. I love you and just need to figure out how we are doing."

Do think it's worth chucking that her way, don't want to do anything to make her back off, but on the other hand I need to know,

Thanks everyone.

Love / 6 months with my Polish girlfriend and I still don't understand her.. [208]

Hi apsou,

"Trying to find her planet" I like that :) :)

At least I know I'm not the only guy trying to understand his Polish girlfriend.

Perhaps I should hang on in there for a bit longer???

Love / 6 months with my Polish girlfriend and I still don't understand her.. [208]

Thanks for the advice everyone especially krysia,

I am coming to that sort of conclusion about the situation, perhaps its just not meant to be!

It just seems weird that when I was in Poland for Xmas and New Year visiting my father, brother, sister etc, that she would invite me on a 12hr journey to stay at her home and meet her parents, siblings and their partners??? Doesn't make sense.

When I first got together with her, she did say she finds it hard to show her feelings, and her best friend always tells me really positive stuff which she told her after my visits?

Need a holiday! :-) :-) :-) So does my head!