Love / My Polish wife doesn't want to move to the UK with me - what to do? [96]


did you two communicate before the wedding???
in a relationship like this (two nationalities) i would assume you have to solve these problems or at least talk about the future BEFORE you tie the knot...

*headshake*

similar story here:
i left Berlin, Germany 3.5 years ago and found my girlfriend here (Leeds, UK) 1.5 years ago. she is from poland and would have gone back already if it wouldn't be for me. polish girls and their families are a very sensitive topic!! careful.

i have quite a nice job here that i would never get in Germany, but she said quite early she does not want to stay in the UK for good... which was a problem for me at that time...

after some thinking and lots of talking we considered all possibilities and are now having a timeline of about three years within which i am going to try to open a branch for our company (architects practice) in Berlin. this way my GF would be closer to home (Szczecin) and family and i can still work for my old employer...

but after reading your post i doubt your means of communication and have to agree with osiols solution to be the best... ;)

good luck though

Love / My Polish wife doesn't want to move to the UK with me - what to do? [96]

i don't have issues with her family. what i wanted to say about the sensitivity of the topic is that you should never even think about playing down the importance of your wife missing her family... family for most polish people i know is far more important as for example many germans and brits...

have you been with your wife to england? how flexible are you two locationwise?
make a longterm plan. she will understand your point but you must not rush things. do not speak about it every day. make her feel as if there are alternatives and moving to uk is only one possible outcome of your future. as she loves you she will not leave your concerns unconsidered i guess...

but, mate... you really have to work on the communicatiuon...

Love / My Polish wife doesn't want to move to the UK with me - what to do? [96]


apparently the summers are hotter and (compared to britain) more predictable... ;)

honestly: give it some more time. you both have to compromise...

as much as i do NOT want to go back to germany soon we will eventually do it but my gf understands that it is not going to happen tomorrow...

communication is key.
and who knows. maybe she is giving it a go and if you then after two years in england realise your wife does not like it, you might consider a change yourself...

as i said before. don't rush things. there is no need to hurry... quite the contrary. rushing might even ruin things...

Love / My Polish wife doesn't want to move to the UK with me - what to do? [96]


you are soooo wrong here!
what about the biggest factor of them all? your wife...

how long are you married? you still have an argumentation and mindset of a single...

Love / My Polish wife doesn't want to move to the UK with me - what to do? [96]


what a strangely stupid post!
if you read the thread you might find out that britguyabroad missed to talk to his wife about his thoughts prior to his commitment...

shall i know make the assumption and warn everyone: "don't date brit guys, as they marry you first and then want to lure you away from your home once you committed yourself"??

plain rubbish!
sorry. be more specific if you want to get a message across!

Love / My Polish wife doesn't want to move to the UK with me - what to do? [96]


a little bit black and white, isn't it?

her husband is now part of her family and once they might have kids that is going to be the primarily important part of her (family-)life, right?

so being "polack", would she cope with it if her family than moves away??

there are a few more dimensions to the story...

if it would work the way you suggest, my girlfriend would have left me already as it was originally planned to go home to poland...

a year later she still is here, so can't be quite as black and white.

as curtis mentioned above somewhere some advice would help more than simply "it won't work!" or "leave her as quick as you can..." (as dice suggested - must have had some bad experience obviously)

Love / My Polish wife doesn't want to move to the UK with me - what to do? [96]


Patricja, not only marriage. i believe you already have to be comitted, BEFORE you go the ultimate step...
but i absolutely get your point.

in this case though, i have the impression that britguyabroad forgot the idea of "before". i do not know the details but it seems they rushed into things without realising what difficulties an "international" relationship actually might bring with it later down the line...

very hard to give proper advice... :(

Love / My Polish wife doesn't want to move to the UK with me - what to do? [96]


again black and white...

if you will have kids in the future they are your blood too, right?

doesn't the church forbid to get married more than once? in a catholic society like poland such a comment is rather inappropriate.

and at the end not being able to live without "your blood" nearby completely restricts you in all decisions. if you have a good relationship with your parents, brothers and sisters (and so on) it doesn't matter where you live as the relation is strong enough to deal with the distance. especially today in times of the internet and cheap phone calls.

in this case here i am a little bit irritated HOW some people give "advice"...

UK, Ireland / Polish immigration in UK [491]


LOL!

finally someone with a sense of humour AND good arguments.
thumbs up!

UK, Ireland / Polish immigration in UK [491]


okay... i'm gonna pack my bags then... ;)

how can someone come to the uk and play the system??
when i first came here (3.5 years ago) it was made clear that i can stay as long as i want if i am working and earning my own money... state benfits? not for (EU?)foreigners if they haven't been working for at least a year.

if i lost my job and could not have financed myself i would have had to leave the country after 3 months...

did they change that in the meantime or are there different rules for germans and poles??

Love / My Polish wife doesn't want to move to the UK with me - what to do? [96]


as i try to be a bit sensitive and relating to the situation i believe my remarks are certainly more helpful than those i quoted above.

don't know why you get so agitated about it as i didn't address you personally with my criticism...


i don't have to be. as i mentioned above i have polish girlfriend and we had similar discussions. guess what... i can understand the importance of the family connection in polish culture and i am certainly not trying to get people away from that. but if you choose to live with a foreigner you have to consider that this might become an issue somehow, right?

if you are not prepared to deal with this you should marry polish... and THAT arguably can be called a restriction...

or do polish people always expect their (foreign) partners to live with them in poland eventually?

my girlfriend certainly doesn't as she is reasonable enough to consider my concerns in her decision where to live...
we discussed it and decided what is best for both of us.

in all this family tradition thing you must not forget that by committing to a relationship your centre and focus of life changes...
that is not an opinion but fact. otherwise there would be no progress in mankind...

more interesting though that britguyabroad does not post anything anymore...
should he be on his way back to the uk already? ;)

Love / My Polish wife doesn't want to move to the UK with me - what to do? [96]


wasn't his occupation somehow internet based?
hmmm...

Love / My Polish wife doesn't want to move to the UK with me - what to do? [96]

very true... :D

UK, Ireland / Polish immigration in UK [491]


which, as you prove in your next post, wasn't thanx to people like you...


apart from germany being apparently one of the countries in europe without history, is "kicking their arse" (i'd like to know when that happened) the only thing that makes you superior???

thank goodness you are not representative for british people...

actually i am wondering how stupid you really are...


okay... now i know... ;)

Love / My Polish wife doesn't want to move to the UK with me - what to do? [96]


sometimes i envy people for the simplicity of seeing everything in black and white...
but then...
no.

Love / My Polish wife doesn't want to move to the UK with me - what to do? [96]

first of all you should adjust your focus...

it is not about money and yes your wife might be (financially) better off in britain but has to pay the high price of not being with her family. it is HER to decide how heavy that weighs, not you. sorry but you have to accept and respect her view on things, then you can start having serious discussions on how to resolve problems.


you don't just know that since yesterday, right? how comes that you got close enough to one of them to marry her?

you said 90% of compromise were sacrifices from your side... i can't judge you on that figure as i don't know details, but i believe that it is a bit of a build up for you to convince yourself that it is her turn now to give in (ie move to UK).


i know what you mean. i saw lots of it when the wall came down in berlin... not easy as apparently two worlds clash onto each other. it takes time to embrace change so please don't make the mistake to say you're right and they're wrong.

you're going to have a hard time ahead... be sure to set your priorities right. not easy but maybe we read this post in a year or so and having a laugh... ;)

Love / My Polish wife doesn't want to move to the UK with me - what to do? [96]


you're based in the north-west, right?
quite nice idea as you'd have berlin people as your target (3.5 million)...

i'd love to hear about what you're going to do one day...

i believe you can do some nice tourism in poland. everyone who i spoke to who went there came back smiling... good mix of culture, history and nature... not to forget the people.

hmmm...
maybe i should change my profession... ;)

Love / My Polish wife doesn't want to move to the UK with me - what to do? [96]


very good point actually...

Love / My Polish wife doesn't want to move to the UK with me - what to do? [96]


well, that's not really fair then...
seems like a lot of hard work ahead, if she doesn't even want to move within poland...

Love / My Polish wife doesn't want to move to the UK with me - what to do? [96]


unlucky when you bought your ticket for one bus already... (WIFE = MARRIED)...
*headshake*

Law / Driving in Poland on a foreign license [45]

as the irish licence is a eu licence you can drive with it in poland.
do the irish have a similar point system to the uk?
if so it might happen that points you collect in poland get transferred onto your irish licence...

Law / Driving in Poland on a foreign license [45]


just to clear that one up...

if you are driving with a foreign licens in any other country (within the eu) and you commit an offence that would give you points this WILL be passed on to the issuer of your driving license and you WILL get points for your offence...

otherwise i could be speeding and drink driving for all my life in a foreign country and even run into other people without loosing my licence...

not quite possible.

the question is though if the copper can be bothered to take care of that for minor offences.

at the moment there is a bit of a greyzone with these things but the eu is working on it to ensure more efficiency in tackling bad driving...

Law / Driving in Poland on a foreign license [45]


just to clear that one up...

if you are driving with a foreign license in any other country (within the eu) and you commit an offence that would give you points this WILL be passed on to the issuer of your driving license and you WILL get points for your offense...

otherwise i could be speeding and drink driving for all my life in a foreign country and even run into other people without loosing my license...

not quite possible.

the question is though if the copper can be bothered to take care of that for minor offenses.

at the moment there is a bit of a greyzone with these things but the eu is working on it to ensure more efficiency in tackling bad driving...