Love / My Polish wife doesn't want to move to the UK with me - what to do? [96]

The problem is I dont really like living here: problem with language, lack of independence, freezing weather etc. So I want to move to the UK, where at least I can understand life there. Any advice?

Love / My Polish wife doesn't want to move to the UK with me - what to do? [96]

I dont really want to commute back to Poland from the Uk. She doesnt have a job to leave here, but will miss her family. But I dont really feel I have a future here, so thats why I want to move back. Thanks for the advice but I'm still not sure what I can do.

Love / My Polish wife doesn't want to move to the UK with me - what to do? [96]

Yes we never talked about it really. Regrettably we should of done. The truth is I think she will settle better in the UK than she thinks as she is fluent in english and a clever girl. Whereas, I have given it a shot for 18 months, and just miss a lot about the way of life in the UK.

Falkster, what issues did you have with the girls family? I think i am in the same boat as you.
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Love / My Polish wife doesn't want to move to the UK with me - what to do? [96]

Falkster,

Yes, thats all true. I guess when you get married you hope things will just work out. I am flexible on where I live as I work via the internet. But would just prefer an english speaking place. We talked about oz/nz but she thinks it would be too far from family. So Europe it is, so it only leaves the UK.

I agree on the family point. But one's ambitions shouldnt be suffocated by the hope to live near your immediate family. Thousands of Poles come to the Uk every year. How do they cope?

Love / My Polish wife doesn't want to move to the UK with me - what to do? [96]

I think I will say try Britain for a year, and then assess the situation after that. Truly the polish-speaking bit is a major problem for me. But also, the soviet-style communist flats, busy roads, parochial attitudes also make the place quite depressing, especially in winter. In the summer, i find the humidity quite high too; I didnt really think Poland was a humid place until i lived here.

The major advantage Poland has over other countries is cost. But to think its drastically cheaper than the UK is a myth. As I earn money in £s and the exchange rate has weakened 12% (will weaken further) I also miss out financially now aswell. I know the UK is more expensive but wages are higher, and ironically money would go further there than here. As bizarre as it sounds.

Therefore, there seems no point living in a country with so many personal difficulties, when i could live in the UK at similar cost.

Love / My Polish wife doesn't want to move to the UK with me - what to do? [96]

Hi,

Thank you for your much informed opinions. I would say in terms of my relationship with my wife I have compromised 90-95% in terms of sacrifices. Not the other way around.

Agreed we didnt discuss a lot of issues prior to the wedding, but you can never plan so furiously as life wouldnt have any excitement, or twists and turns.

But I think the most difficult thing for me is the cultural thing, I just dont feel I have much in common with the average polish person at all. Even when you skim over the language difficulties, our visions of the world are very different. I am very entrepreneurial in vision, but I just dont see that here at all. Methinks due to the communist past.

Then, like I expressed before are the other reasons to move.
On the financial aspects of life, for my wife, I dont see the point of her killing herself in a dead-end job in Poland for 2000zl a month, when the employment alternatives in the UK are a lot better.

I agree baby steps are the way forward. She has never lived outside poland before, but has visited other countries on holdiays with me. I think we'll just have to thrash out the pros and cons and see what is the result.

Love / My Polish wife doesn't want to move to the UK with me - what to do? [96]

All good points. This forum really helps. On the point of entrepreneurship. I agree there is probably less competition for things in Poland. However, there seems a lot of red-tape in terms of getting business done here. Its phenomenally bureaucratic. You'll discover this when you try and set things up.

Wilddrover, what city are you in? How long have you lived here?

Love / My Polish wife doesn't want to move to the UK with me - what to do? [96]

Sidetracking here, in terms of setting up a business I think getting money from Polish people is tough from what I have seen, bit like asians in the UK. However, if you have a quality product to sell you shouldnt compromise on price if you believe in the product.

Therefore, i would sooner develop a business idea which appealed to the nouveau riche polish person, who doesnt have the time nor inclination to worry about price than a high volume business. As, the examples I have seen of high volume business are not worth the hassle from what i have seen.

Love / My Polish wife doesn't want to move to the UK with me - what to do? [96]

I will try some of these things you mentioned. I did suggest to my wife that we move to another polish city such as warsaw or krakow, which has another international dimension, but she said she was comfortable in bydgoszcz. Which doesnt seem very fair because i'm not really. But its not like she couldnt move, she doesnt have any work commitments here, only mum/dad + sisters. I think a bluff has to be called at one point.