Posts by Candyloop78

Candyloop78

5 Sep 2017

Love / Are Polish people very family oriented? [17]

I haven't seen my boyfriend in almost a month due to his hectic work schedule owning two businesses. He has also been spending a lot of time with his family.

He is a gentleman and very respectful.
He has lived in America for three months, still learning the customs. And he doesn't own a car , yet and lives with his uncle. I live with my parents due to a divorce. My ex had an affair, still a little scarred from it. We are in our late thirties. We have been dating a little over two months. He has never been married, reassured me that there is nobody else as well. He is a gentleman and treats me with respect. Lately, he hasn't made any plans with us because he has been hanging out with his cousins, aunts, uncles, dad. And doesn't include me. I will admit, we saw each other a lot in the beginning. And I understand he needs space to be with family. I was also on vacation for almost a week as well. He mentioned that he misses me and still texts me sunshine and sweetie, asking how my day is on a weekly basis. My questions are:

1- is he homesick being an immigrant, his mother and sister lives in Poland. But his dad and girlfriend live in the US and other relatives.

2- so far, he has been honest about everything. But hasn't plan a date with me yet. We didn't even see each other for a holiday weekend. I was hurt, but didn't tell him. He went with his family to Wisconsin instead. I'm Asian- but he says he doesn't care about my nationality- he thinks I'm beautiful. I look like an Asian version of Megan Fox.

3- Shall this come to pass, that I don't need to worry . Is he committed to me and will I eventually met his relatives someday? He has briefly met my family. He didn't mind it.

Please help. (A girlfriend who is confused with her Polish boyfriend 's behavior)

*Only mature responses pleases!
Thank you

Candyloop78

6 Sep 2017

Love / Are Polish people very family oriented? [17]

Thank you for the honest and eye opening response. I never pressured him to do anything or asked for any commitment from him. I'm not ready for anything too serious at this moment. We are still getting to know each other. I only asked that because I was curious about dating etiquette mentality of Polish in general. He often initiates conversations with me more than twice a week. Which are sweet and light hearted. And I understand he is quite a busy individual. I've never question his whereabouts or his integrity. We both respect each other very much. But I do miss him a lot. I don't like drama in relationships either. I'm pretty easy going and laid back, independent person. If he makes plans with family , I don't get upset. I make my own plans. He understands that. I've only mentioned to him that it is hard because we are long distance ( an hour apart) which he doesn't mind. And that it's been awhile since we have seen each other. That was all I said.

I was just curious if it is normal for him to spend more time with his relatives because he is/ seems family oriented and his background. He has a good relationship with them. I am proud of him for that and respect that. I am also family oriented as well.

Thank you for the insight. I will continue to give him space he needs right now.

Candyloop78

6 Sep 2017

Love / Are Polish people very family oriented? [17]

Hi.
He comes from a successful family. His dad runs a housing construction business as well. He has been helping his dad help make brochures for his company business. His family are well educated, career driven people. He used to be a soldier in Poland . I come from a military background as well, on my side of the family as well as a line of police officers. My brother- in -law is also an American police officer within the Chicago area. And I am a teacher. He knows I come from a good family as well. And sees that I'm a good catch. I know two months is not enough time to really know a person. But he also mentioned that he would like for me to cook for him a nice dinner for him someday. I mentioned that I was a pretty good cook.

( not sure if he was testing my cooking skills, or if it means anything) I was very flattered.
When I apologized for not cooking due to a party we had to attend one Saturday afternoon, he responded,
" No worries sweetie , there will be other opportunities." This was a few weeks ago.
If we end up becoming more serious down the road, that would be great. I'm willing to learn his customs, traditions, and language. I love learning about other cultures.

If we ever get to that point. If not, I will be ok. It's probably true that he is going through some internal and external struggles of being an immigrant. Maybe he just needs to be around his family right now . I've also helped him learn English grammar, and some American customs and he appreciates in me helping him. I've been a very helpful and good girlfriend to him. He doesn't take me for granted.

I appreciate all of the helpful comments. It's allowed for me to see things from a different perspective.

Thank you

Candyloop78

6 Sep 2017

Love / Are Polish people very family oriented? [17]

Hi.
I will be patient with him. I understand he is going through a lot right now. He doesn't need anymore pressure than he already has. Hopefully, this time will pass.

Candyloop78

10 Oct 2017

Love / Are Polish people very family oriented? [17]

Hi everyone. I have an update on him. He is leaving to go back home next month in November 20. I'm deeply saddened by it. But he is visiting family in California first, then straight to Poland. I asked if it was ok that we see eachother one more time or a couple of times before he leaves. He responded that he would like to see me again before he leaves. Which I'm looking forward to. I didn't realize that he was here on a Work visa. I thought he was planning on staying. I was hoping we could have started something between us.

It's hard knowing I will never see him again. He was a great person, kind, fun, and attentive. I will miss him dearly. I wonder if that was the reason why he was afraid to get close, knowing that he would be going back home. That the outcome may not Work. I'm intelligent, pretty, and well rounded. He says he has never met a girl like me before. I told him I would miss him so much ☹️. He felt terrible. This is a chapter in my life I have to close.