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Posts by elif  

Joined: 24 Mar 2016 / Female ♀
Last Post: -
Threads: Total: 1 / In This Archive: 1
Posts: Total: 6 / In This Archive: 6
From: Turkey
Speaks Polish?: no
Interests: cooking, sports, movies, IT

Displayed posts: 7
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elif   
24 Mar 2016
Love / Turkish girl is going to meet her Polish boyfriend's family - needs tips. [47]

Hi people... :) I am going to meet my boyfriend's family so soon and I need some tips. I am a little bit shy person and I don't know much about Polish traditions. In Turkey, we kiss the hands of elders as a sign of respect. Would that look weird to a Polish family? What gift should i bring my boyfriend's parents from Turkey? I plan to get some Turkish stuff like Turkish delight, Turkish coffee and such. And maybe some home-made cookies that I make. Do you guys think it is a bad idea for meeting? Can you give me some tips? How do you guys do it in Poland?

I appreciate any help that you can provide. Thank you!
elif   
24 Mar 2016
Love / Turkish girl is going to meet her Polish boyfriend's family - needs tips. [47]

Luke84, thank you for your reply. :)
All right, I'll not kiss their hands. :) It is called "helva" in Turkish and halva in English... Yes, I am planning to have a long relationship with him. I am 18 y.o. and he is my first boyfriend and I hope I'll never have any other boyfriends because I love him so much. And I hope his family will like me.
elif   
24 Mar 2016
Love / Turkish girl is going to meet her Polish boyfriend's family - needs tips. [47]

nothanks...

I live in Turkey and he lives in Poland. But now he is in Turkey.

Hmm, well I think I can win over his father because many people say I look pretty. I am interested in sports and I am into natural oils stuff, I mean I take care of myself. And for his mom. I help my mom at home, it is something so normal for me and I can gladly help his mom. Thank you for these tips. I'll definitely give them a try. :)
elif   
24 Mar 2016
Love / Turkish girl is going to meet her Polish boyfriend's family - needs tips. [47]

InPolska

My boyfriend's family knows that their son is with a Turk and they invited me to meet. I don't think they mind my religion or something. I just want to learn how you guys do this first meeting thing. I wanted to get tips from different Poles as well. Because it is important for me, I want to be respectful to them. Thank you for your reply. :)
elif   
25 Mar 2016
Love / Turkish girl is going to meet her Polish boyfriend's family - needs tips. [47]

Lyzko... :) Yes, thank you. I've recently started learning Polish so my Polish is not well enough to express myself and I'll visit them in 3 days. But I can memorize some important phrases and words.

InPolska and istanbullu34, thank you for the information. You guys are right. Cultural and religious differences may cause some problems. I sometimes think of these and I found some international couples and asked them how they do it. Some of them say a marriage between two people from different countries has it's own advantages and some other say it is quite challenging.

I love him so much. And we get along very well. So I will always be respectful to his family so that his family can also get along well with me as well. In my opinion, coming from the same culture or background cannot guarantee problem-free relationship with the family of our partner because I see people from the same country and religion and still have fight with their wives/husbands and end up signing divorce papers. Or have fights with the family of their wives/husbands.

istanbullu34, I am sure you've already heard this: People who share the same feelings can understand each other more than people who speak the same language. :) I am sure you know the deep meaning in it.

You guys wrote all these for my good. That's so nice of you. Thank you! But I love him, he loves me. I think respect is the key. I will be respectful to them and I will be with him. Time will show what will happen. It may work so well (which is great!), if it doesn't work well I can still say "I did it for my love". Because now it is impossible for me to think otherwise.

Btw, we haven't talked about marriage but he implied it a few times.

(Sorry for my English)
elif   
26 Mar 2016
Love / Turkish girl is going to meet her Polish boyfriend's family - needs tips. [47]

Thank you for all replies. You guys tried to help me. I am grateful for your help. :)

I bought Turkish coffee and halva to gift. And I'll offer a handshake or hug, no hand-kissing. :) Hand kissing is a sweet and respectful tradition in Turkey but I respect that things are different in Poland, so I'll not do that. And I've memorized some important Polish phrases and words.

I am a first year dental student and in the future working in Turkey, Poland or 3rd country will not be that hard for me hopefully (if I can learn Polish and improve my English). If things go well and we decide to marry, Janusz and I can live in Turkey without any big problems if he wants.

We have some foreign brides & grooms here in Turkey. As long as they show some interest in Turkish culture, many people like them a lot. At first many Turkish parents are also not so willing about these kind of marriages and many of them strictly reject it. But according to my observations, if the foreign girl or the guy manage to win over his/her family and marry their son or daughter, then everything is fine as long as she or he is respectful all the time. I know one American guy with a Turkish wife and a Romanian woman with a Turkish husband from my district. They enjoy Turkey and everybody is nice with them. :) And my family is also conservative but after they get to know more about Janusz, they will like him a lot, I am sure because he is a decent guy. My dad is a typical patriotic Turkish man but I guess he will like Janusz so much and he will see him as his son. And if we make a nice couple and make each others happy, the elders of my family will not say much about us besides some suggestions. Because so many couples are getting divorced. Sometimes out of nothing sometimes because of serious problems. So I don't think they would say anything bad if they see we are happy because in Turkish culture "the family" is so important and precious, we don't like it that much when couples get divorced.

And I hope his family will not mind where I am from or what my religion is. But if they mind, I'll do my best to show that I love their son and I can make him happy and he is making me happy.