Love / I'm getting married to a Polish guy and need advice before visit his family; gifts, topics, customs [82]

I am a Muslim woman in the uk with a convert Polish husband. Just be yourself. My mother in law speaks no English and I speak 3 other languages. Polish is a very hard language to learn. My mother in law is very opinionated and ignorant. She doesn't like me as I am not Polish and has made remark after remark before even meeting me to now after having my baby. She accepts my baby as only Polish ethnically even though in fact he's only 50%.

Be careful, those Polish do not accept other races especially if you are not white like me are those who have village mentality and not well educated. When I went to Poland, she never let me in her house, yet she had been in my families home and stayed in mine which I cooked and cleaned for her. She I would say, never treated me like a family member as I was only allowed in the garden when I went to her house. Be yourself. Inshallah it went well if she has already came.

Love / I'm getting married to a Polish guy and need advice before visit his family; gifts, topics, customs [82]

Thats why she asked my husband, how dark I was when my husband informed her of me! I know what she is like and I know she is intolerant, ignorant and racist. My mil doesnt have a religion. As of culture I was born in the UK. Poland is not the same as the UK. Her views may tie into Poland, but in the UK, it's seen as regressive racist behaviour.

Love / I'm getting married to a Polish guy and need advice before visit his family; gifts, topics, customs [82]

The word ignorant can also be used if someone deliberately choses or disregards to accept something. Yes she knows her son has converted. She knows I am Muslim. Why then hum hymns to my son? She can sing Polish songs I don't have issue with but not Hymns. She has no faith so why she's humming it according to my husband is beyond me.

I can speak a number of words in Polish and I am fluent in 3 languages. If my child learns Polish, it will be from my husband which I have no issue with. I have cooked a few Polish foods but I personally am not a fan of the food. As of history I know a little.

Where as I cannot say the same of my mother in law. When you are in a mixed relationship, you have to be tolerant of others. My husband accepts me of who I am and vice versa. If his mum has issues, that's her problem. My husband supports me and that's all that matters. My husband left Poland many years ago and doesn't even bother much with his culture.

I can say I have my own culture. One culture does not dominate over the other. I can say to my husband, lets embrace my culture over yours, lets start eating and learning my mother tongue and food. It's not about this but having what suits the couple in how they live their lives without trying to enforce a culture on to the other.

My husband chose not to marry a polish person and has accepted the British way. My initial post was to the poster of the question to which I replied my experience. To sum it up, yes my mother in law is interfering and ignorant. If she has issues, she must take this out on her son. I have polish friends and they say themselves that Poland is intolerant of others. What I have also noticed is many Polish people now in the UK are in mixed relationships, something which is a taboo in Easten Europe.

I have travelled to many countries but Poland still has a little way to go yet to be in par with the rest of Europe. Polish culture does not dominate over others to be important of language, food etc but be in equal relation. As my husband doesn't bother with his culture, we only adopt the British one. As I am only married to my husband, his mums opinion are not relevant in my marriage in how we bring up our child and how we live our life. If she has some say, then so do my parents. They can supports us and advise us, but not if they are racist and demeaning and I will not be bringing my children to be racist but respect other faiths and way of life.