UK, Ireland / Advice on child support (Irish with my Polish husband) [106]

Dominic, 1000zl per month is a lot for my husband to pay, bear in mind she was content with the first court ruling of 350zl.She's still living with her parents and working in their shop, she has no intentions to leave this village. Her expenses hasnt increased significantly. I wasnt stupid to marry him or have a baby with him.I didnt ask for marriage advice, I knew what I was doing. He first married when they were really young and she was pregnant and he has paid for his son in poland everytime without missing a payment. Her new request has a list of all these classes she wants to send him on with list of prices, cinema, clothes, meals out..it goes on..she wants my husband to pay for 100% of everything..she has no rent to pay, she lives, works and the school are within walking distance to each other..she has a car, we cant even afford a bicycle each. We walk half an hour to work, school and shops etc each day because we must, we cant afford taxis and buses everyday, I would rather use the money to put towards the grocery bill and no we cant find a second job each..Im working days and my husband nights...we barely have enough time to cook and clean and raise the kids. Our only time off is when we take a weeks holiday from work every few months. The exwife has 3 people in her house who helps her and sits the child when she goes to work.We dont have an extravagant lifestyle.We are content and living just within our means. He wont be going to court giving a detail account of emotional stress, Im aware how the Polish courts are, very primative and more than likely favour the mother..my husband has a responsibility for both his children, the first and second child are equally important and I dont see why she wants her son to have all these luxuries and his daughter must go without because of this. As you probably know, the cost of living is far less than in Ireland or England so yes 1000zl is alot for her to ask..its 62e per week and that is high for an Irish court when taking into account income and expenses. Maybe we dont feed our children or put clothes on their backs because ex wife wants to send the child for piano lessons and then cinema and wants my husband to pay for 100% of their lifestyle..

UK, Ireland / Advice on child support (Irish with my Polish husband) [106]

150zl was only paid since may..and it wasnt going to be long term as we know she would be sending court letters anyway and would put it back to the 350zl.I did say it was very low I KNOW THIS and it wasnt a long term thing. she has put alot of things on the list that she wants to send the son not just swimming..there is about 40 different things..that was just to p**s her off..the child hasnt a clue and wasnt affected by it and she probably has told the child that my husband has never paid her..a few years back when my husband was talking on the phone to them she told the child not to call him dad but by is name..

UK, Ireland / Advice on child support (Irish with my Polish husband) [106]

I dont care what her lifestyle is, Im just stating that she doesnt need 62e per week when she doesnt have too many expenses...we survive on a basic living and she expects alot from my husband

UK, Ireland / Advice on child support (Irish with my Polish husband) [106]

i dont blame her about the 150zl but 1000zl is too much what we can afford...

UK, Ireland / Advice on child support (Irish with my Polish husband) [106]

im looking for advice and im just detailing what is involved so someone might give me some useful advice..i dont need opinions on this 150zl..yes i have mentioned a few times it is considerably low, but it was only since may and was to be reinstated to 350zl..we knew it would go to court and my husband wants an updated maintenance order because alot has changed since the first ruling of 350zl..the child was only a baby then and my husband was in poland then, living at his family home and working..now its completly different

UK, Ireland / Advice on child support (Irish with my Polish husband) [106]

Look, I have never said we wanted to stop paying child support, I wanted advice on what is reasonable. Swimming plus 39 other demands she is putting on this list, not just swimming as a few of ye like to keep mentioning..and she wants him to pay 100% she even mentioned popcorn, tea and calculated fuel costs to take him to these all these different places..a few different theme parks, zoos..etc. the child is going to go to all these places every month? Yearly I would take my kids to the zoo, the cinema every few months, I will pick the weekend morning deals and buy refreshments in supermarket and I use coupons for our mealsout afterwards.And we will more than likely walk home or I would ring my father for a lift. I have a friend in work who was recently in the Polish family court with her ex and her solicitor advised her to make a list of all activities and she told me that she made them all up and has no intentions of sending her child, it looks like the norm for polish advokats..his wife is looking for more because she is money mad..when they were together she told him her father stopped her wages because of till discrepencies and all along she had been saving the money and going on shopping sprees for herself, he bought alot of baby equipment when she was pregnant yet in the divorce court she said he bought nothing until my husband showed the judge all the receipts and the judge made bits of her..she was happy with the court ruling of 350zl, when they separated she kept everything and sold them, his bike, his mothers engagement ring, lots of other things. he always had access when he went to poland, just when she heard that he was in a serious relationship then the access stopped..it went to court 2 years ago and even though my husband had seen his son only 2 months before this court, she produced a doctors letter saying that the child doesnt recognise his father anymore! A friend of her family was that doctor. My husband has always paid child support to her, he always gave him gifts,always rang him regularly, just last year for his birthday, christmas and then the communion is when he has refused to accept them. His ex has brainwashed the child into rejecting his father. Its me who he cries to when he gets upset. His ex knows how to play the game. It is not possible to get extra jobs, they dont fall out of the sky, businesses close frequently where we live, like most other places. I didnt start this thread to be called a c**t, referring to my children as 'breeding', castration and all the other hurtful comments. Our daughter has a brother who we would love for her to meet, I havent also and will probably have to wait until he's an adult. We are people not animals, we just want what is fair for everyone. My husband loves his son, we just want to give what is fair. I will probably get alot of ye giving me nasty comments, there is an 'epidemic' I think I would call it on cyber bullying here in Ireland where teenagers are killing themselves, my god, I only hope ye think before ye type and to whom next time ye see a thread and want to make comments on peoples lives..and thank you Bill and your missus, its better not to answer to these people but ye are wise and I think its true what u said in the PM

also my husbands family live in this same village, my mother in law can only watch her grandson from a distance in church or shops, my sister in law showed me his school and she told me sometimes she walks past in hope that she might spot him playing in the playground..he doesnt know any of them because of this woman..when the child was a baby my mother in law knitted a cardigan and booties and she went to the house to give them to the ex, she was told, at the gate. to leave or the ex would call the police..I know this is irrelevant for court but instead of sympathy some are ye are showing for this woman, she doesnt deserve it..

UK, Ireland / Advice on child support (Irish with my Polish husband) [106]

1000zl is 25% of his Gross income..he averages 30hrs per week..sometimes its alot less in the off season but never more that 34/35 depending if someone else is taking holidays..and again, there are no other jobs available..thats all im going to say anymore on the matter.