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Posts by grace4576  

Joined: 26 May 2013 / Female ♀ 		Last Post: -
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Posts: Total: 2 / In This Archive: 2 		From: england
Speaks Polish?: learning slowly!

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grace4576   
26 May 2013
Love / english girl struggling with polish boyfriend's friends [20]

I have been with my boyfriend for about 3 months and he is a really great guy. The problem I'm having is, he seems to want to spend increasing amounts of time with a group of his polish friends, which i completely understand don't get me wrong. Everyone needs friends. But they are all so rude when they are together! They all literally sit and talk in polish and ignore me, including my boyfriend although he does ask if I'm ok sometimes.

He assures me I'm being silly about this, but I feel like these people don't like me. I can't make conversation with people I can't understand, so I literally sit there in silence.The last time this happened, a few days ago, me and him ended up having a big argument because i felt SO overwhelmed sitting around this big group of people, some of whom i've never met before, that were all acting as if I did not exist.

Would they have a problem that I am an English girl? Or is it just normal for polish people to act this way? I just feel really sad about it because these people are obviously important to him, and he wants me with him when he goes to see them, but I feel so lost when I'm around them! I am trying to learn polish but I am struggling. His friends have all lived in England for 3-6 years and are fluent in English, so I thought they would tallk in English if I'm there, but they don't.

Please someone give me some advice or words of support! I feel so upset about this!! I have no idea what to do about it either. Thank you!
grace4576   
26 May 2013
Love / english girl struggling with polish boyfriend's friends [20]

thanks for the answers :) i know you're both right about asking him to ask them to speak in english. thing is, i'm really nervous to ask him to ask his friends this, because if they already don't like me I think that will make it even worse? And i think he might feel awkward asking them as well?

sorry to be so annoying I just feel so conflicted about everything
grace4576   
26 May 2013
Love / english girl struggling with polish boyfriend's friends [20]

thanks again for answering both of you :)

i see what you mean about trying to speak to the most approachable one first, thats a good idea. to be honest there is one girl that has made an effort to talk to me, but the problem i find is that she will speak to me for a few minutes but then jump into a different conversation in polish, and then not come back!

they usually all seem to be engrossed in whatever they are talking about and the conversation appears so fast paced I don't feel confident enough to interrupt. I don't know, my nerves are getting worse every time this happens to be honest.

I wouldn't give my boyfriend an ultimatum but I have already said that I feel uncomfortable in that situation and I'd rather not be there in future. One of his friends actually approached him after I left and said he shouldn't have brought me there with so many of them, which on the one hand seems like he saw what the problem was but on the other hand, was he being a bit hostile?

I guess I am just struggling with getting used to the differences between the cultures maybe. And I am so nervous I am probably reading too much into this.