PolishForums LIVE  /  Archives [3]    
   
Posts by Nozzferrahhtoo  

Joined: 12 Sep 2011 / Male ♂ 		Last Post: -
Threads: Total: 1 / In This Archive: 1
Posts: Total: 4 / In This Archive: 4
Speaks Polish?: No

Displayed posts: 5
sort: Oldest first   Latest first   |
Nozzferrahhtoo   
12 Sep 2011
Life / Attending my first Polish Wedding and Celebrations [18]

Hi all, new user so apologies if I step on anything I shouldn't as I barge in and ask my questions.

I am travelling at the end of this month to Bydgoszcz to attend a Polish wedding (Saturday) and celebrations (Sunday).

I have never been to Poland or to a Polish wedding before. I have also never met the bride or her family before. So I am looking for ways to endear myself to the family. The groom, my friend, is Irish.

I believe they are not having a very traditional wedding, but I would like any and all ideas for gifts, words, gestures or anything that is traditional that I can do, give or say that is culturally relevant.

For example at some weddings I have read it is traditional to give bread and salt to the couple (chleb and sol) and say to them "oby Wam go nigdy nie brakowalo". If no one else performs this tradition.... is there any reason I should not do so myself?

I also have read that giving a water melon to the Brides father and telling him that it is not too late to give this to the groom.... should be a joke many people will understand? Or is this too a bad idea?

Any other ideas or examples such as this would be very much appreciated in my wish to help make the couples day very happy. Anything you think I should do or not do would be very helpful.

Also what are the traditional polish songs sung over drink after such a wedding in the early morning hours. I would like to try.... though I have no polish so it will be fun.... to learn one or two and maybe sing one late in the night. Is there somewhere I can find words and music to listen to so I can hear the words being sung. Funny folk songs would be the best for this, but also the kind of songs that make old men cry for a forgotten past would be lovely too. I am Irish so I know all about such songs in Ireland :)

Again, thanks to all for any help, and I appreciate your time, even if it is only the time to read this message.
Nozzferrahhtoo   
12 Sep 2011
Life / Attending my first Polish Wedding and Celebrations [18]

Yes I am not stressed or concerned about it, but I would like to make some gesture that is culturally relevant or funny or both. Something that makes it clear I did not just show up, but actually did put in some research on the topic.
Nozzferrahhtoo   
12 Sep 2011
Life / Attending my first Polish Wedding and Celebrations [18]

Well I believe historically that the father of a girl can refuse the request for marriage from a man by offering him a water melon. I am not sure how true the tale is though. I think it comes from the fact that there is some similarity in polish between the word for "water melon" and the word for being rejected or for meeting rejection? Does this sound familiar in any way?
Nozzferrahhtoo   
12 Sep 2011
Life / Attending my first Polish Wedding and Celebrations [18]

Not at all. The way that a suitor is turned down by parents in Poland is serving them soup made from goose blood.

Yes I think I read that one too in my research. It is called "czarnina" right? The same site I read about that on mentioned the water melon with the explanation that " the Polish word for watermelon having two meanings: watermelon, and to meet with refusal". But it would seem this reference is so vauge that there is no point in my making a joke out of it.

I have been to many weddings from Catholic to Jewish to Quaker and I usually try and invest a lot of time in researching old traditions and customs and bringing them up at the wedding somehow. This impresses for a start, breaks ice which is great, and serves to stimulate interesting conversation especially in the older generations who remember such customs. That is why I like to make the effort in cases such as this and why I am on a site like this asking questions :)
Nozzferrahhtoo   
13 Sep 2011
Life / Attending my first Polish Wedding and Celebrations [18]

Thanks for all the replies guys, it is helpful, and interesting, especially the full explanation of the Watermelon tradition from “boletus” though I find myself wondering how "Young" he means when he calls me "young" as it is somewhat presumptious :-p

I appreciate the foreigner coming to an Irish wedding comment too. It is just a habit of mine to research these things, even if I do not do them, just in case. Also I simply find it personally interesting. Often I end up doing nothing, but there have been a couple of weddings that were going awfully that I stepped up with my knowledge of their traditions and turned it around. Also I was only this weekend at a Jewish wedding where I was meeting the Brides parents also for the first time and I learned off a semi-short formal greeting in Hebrew along with a gift from their more ancient customs and the parents were overjoyed and happy with it, and me. It also felt good to know all the customs, such as breaking bread that no one else knew so at my table at dinner the bride and groom did not have to explain to us what to do and how and were able to move on to the next table quickly. So every little helps.

And at the end of the day such knowledge aids ones feelings of being out of place. Would that more people had more than a cursory, if even that, knowledge of the customs of other cultures huh?

And finally, I simply feel that sometimes a well places cultural joke is just funny, and makes people happy, and I do like to make people happy :)