Love /
I need advice: divorce and my rights as a father in Poland [165]
@ warsawki.. my wife is unhappy, because she does not enjoy the UK, she feels she cant do anything here, she wants to go study in Poland and she feels she does not love me anymore..
Note I have not cheated, nor have I abused her physically or mentally, what I have done was in the first 2 years of marriage i was not there as a farther as I should have been or as much as i could have been or as much as other farthers, i spent allot of time working and trying to get our finances stable when we met we lived in a single room fortunately it was with people when knew and they were good. my focus was to get us out of the rut and in my pursuit to gain finacial freedom at the time i neglected my wife that is what she tells me and i agree. i did also after work on a friday go to the pub for a few beers with work colleagues which is common in the city.. take also into account my wife during this time only had responsibilitie of raising our child, she did not cook, did not pay bills, did not go grocery shopping.
I realize the implications that 2 years might of had, 2 years following that I was home,finances were stable.i bath my daughter every second night, put her to bed, take her out alone so I have improved and i have changed but 4 years later i am now faced with oh but u were`nt there enough. i cannot change what has happened that far in the past and i have made allot of effort to make up for not being there as much, and my wife goes to Poland atleast 4 times a year and i found a letter more than a 1000 words long to another guy in Poland she wrote to him.
I appreciate that this is my side of the story and you are right to want to find out the root of the "evil" in conclusion i think my wife mentally has never really left Poland, thats why she has not enrolled in a university or done anything to start studying in the UK on the other hand i am building a live here so we are pulling in different directions. my wife never worked since our child was born and she said she wants to wait until our child starts school which is this year, now the time has arrived i was hoping she 1 would try to find a job to or start studying in the UK either one- her decision was, to study in Poland part time which will require her to fly to Poland every second weekend... i dont see the logic,
(Its not about the money, it is about everyone being happy, living on the social in the UK, may not be your wife's idea of happiness, she would probably be happier living in Poland, surrounded by her family, so they can assist in the bringing up of your child, although this situation may not suit you.)
Re. you comment above: yes I agree living on the social is not anyones idea of happiness, and that is why i decided that I would go to Poland instead of having my wife live here and be unhappy and raise our child... but the reality of the situation is that my wife wanted to leave with my child to move to Poland to go and study and start her live without me threating me that i will never see my child again, and she is thinking only of herself, you say that you have a family then you should know that once there are kids involved one's decisions need to consider all parties not what you feel is best for you alone, if I decided i want to move back to Cape town because its best for me would and not neccesarily for my wife and child would u still agree its ok? This is our child i did not run away when i found out she was pregnant i stayed and tried to do the best i can i was there in the room when my daughter was born and i am still here for her and still for my wife, having my child raised by her family is not an option because I am her farther and she needs me as much as she needs her mother. If i was ok with her family raising her i would have left in the beginning.
Moving to Poland with a wife thats not sure if she still loves you, is not a wise choice it could turn out moving to poland could mend the relationship or it could turn out when we in Poland she decides its over and where does that leave me??? my priority is my child.
I see you playing devils advocate and its ok, hopefully now u a bit more insight in the situation u can understand it a bit more?
Thanks for your comments, its always appreciated.
