Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]

Thank you all for some very helpful tips


Thats certainly one I'll keep in mind. lol.

Apologys once again for the initial quote from me about local women, I didn't mean it that way at all, really.


I have considered this actually, and was in a bookshop yesterday looking at several different 'teach yourself polish' guides. The thing is in the past I made a silly error, I liked a girl who worked in the gym I visit but I was terrified to speak to her but I really needed her to know how I felt so I put my feeling down in a letter and sent it to her. I really liked the letter and it seemed to sum up things well but it got no response and a few weeks later I found out she was engaged to someone for ages. Talk about embarassing, I know she has told some of her friends about it and I guess I'm a bit paranoid now that the whole town knows and are laughing at me behind my back.

I'm a bit mixed up as you can probably gather but I'm decent at heart and I have a fear that the same thing is going to happen again.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]

I was hoping to see this Polish girl in work today and have sort of planned a dialogue to say to her. She wasn't there and I'm nervous that she has left and my chance has gone.

I am definately paranoid big time. I'm starting to convince myself that she is way too pretty for me and she is married or has a boyfriend back home.


Now that is something I can do! lol

Up until now I have been making eye contact, smiling and saying 'hi' and she has done the same back.
The next time I see her I am going to say 'dzien dobry' followed by 'Jestem ...my name.
Do you think I should leave it there?


I have considered saying 'Jestes tak piekna' Is this a bit too much, too soon? I'm not even sure how to pronounce 'piekna' or whether the 'j' in 'jestes' sounds like the 'j' in just or the 'g' in given?

Your advice would be welcome once again, you've all been a big help so far.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]


You're right, after all a mistake is only a mistake if you don't learn from it.

Okay, I'm off to watch the football on the telly, c'mon Man U!

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]


A very interesting point you raise here. Can a man be just good friends with a woman and want nothing more than friendship? Now, be honest fella's!

I have to be honest and say that in my case, I doubt whether I could just stay friends with this girl if she wasn't interested in taking it further.

Does this make me a shallow person? I'm not sure, really, its just at this stage of my life I feel that the biological clock is ticking, a lot of friends are marrying, starting families and I seem light years behind in the relationship race. Its like I've been in a coma for the last 15 years and I've awoken to find the world has passed me by. I'm doing things now that I should have done when I was 17. They say youth is wasted on the young and I am beginning to agree.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]


You're spot on my friend. I spoke to the girl I really like today in work. I plucked up the courage at last and said hello. With hindsight it probably wasn't the very best time as she seemed really busy but I've putting it off and putting it off waiting for the perfect time which is crazy. Its probably the most nervous I've ever been. This probably sounds silly to most people but for someone as shy as me it really was a big deal.

I think/hope it went good considering I had a severe case of foot-in-mouth!
She was surprised that I spoke any Polish and asked where I learnt it from. This kind of threw me as I thought she had very little English but was in fact very good. I think I said something like 'friends on the internet' or something like that. I also said my name and she replied with her name so that was nice.

I guess its something to start on and I'll try and take it slow and try not to bombard her with too much questions in one go. There are some lingering doubts however, seeing her in front of me for more than a split second as before I can see now that she is really stunning, way more beautiful than I first thought and when she smiled, well that was a wonderful thing. I may be trying for too much too soon, trying to climb Mount Everest before I am able to climb the stairs at home. I'm sure I'm going to end up hurt, I'm really not in the same league as her, I'm tall but a bit goofy looking.


Thats all I can do I suppose and try to stay positive as best I can.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]


I see my earlier faux pas is returning to haunt me once again. lol.

Thank you for your words of wisdom, much appreciated.

Confidence is a curious thing don't you think? I see people every day that I know in my heart of hearts I'm every bit as good as but the thing that separates us is confidence. But how do you gain it? Is it something your born with? I'm studying psychology and I really find this kind of stuff fascinating. Its really intense.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]


I suppose it all boils down to trust in the end of the day. If I had a girlfriend I would be very uneasy if she spent alot of time with male friends. I guess a truly great relationship is where both parties trust each other enough not to mind who their friends are. But this is where the hurt comes in, you open up to someone, put you're trust in them and they mess you up. Its common enough I suppose, men and women are equally guilty.

I would be suspicious of platonic male friends and would wonder what is their angle, they're up to something. Maybe not in a direct way but they are using the relationship to gain something in the long term.

I'm probably way off the mark here and who am I to talk anyway, I'm nothing but a twisted, cynical fool.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]


My sentiments entirely.

There is always one rotten apple in a barrell.

You give men a bad name.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]

Love or lust?

There seems to be a bit of confusion between the two. Do we believe we're in love when in reality we are only lusting after someone. What is love? (That was a song back in the 90's wasn't it!) The phrase 'love at first sight' can't be true love. When you meet someone for the first time and there is an instant connection it feels like love but it's more a realisation that here is an opportunity for something special to occur. Surely love is something that is built up as a relationship progresses, as the bond deepens so to speak. How can you love someone if they don't love you back? There can be a great respect for that person and an understanding that they could be one of those special people in your lives but unless the feeling is reciprecated it isn't the real thing.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]


Thanks for all the good advice, its been an intense week, trying out new methods and learning so much. I guess its like using a muscle that you have not used for a while, the urge is to try do too much too soon. I am feeling alot more confident now and positive for the future. I can see that the odds are heavily against me suceeding on this particular occasion but the key is to keeping trying, to keep getting up again after been knocked down. This is what I've been avoiding in the past, I've had a fear of rejection. It feels weird as I don't think today went particularly well in relation to the girl I am interested in, its not just me being negative which I end to get sometimes but I just felt things weren't right. Sorry its hard to describe but its just a sort of gut instinct. I'm not backing out at all, I'm still going to give it my best shot, but it was probably a realisation that this may not work out. And I felt fine about it. In the past I've worried that 'this might be the one' and I'd become anxious not to mess things up in case I'd never have another opportunity. I've come round to the view that if she doesn't like me its no big deal, I'll just keep on looking for someone who does like me.

Lobo, thanks once again, I was just going back over all the advice you have provided me with. Its great stuff, you have a great pool of wisdom. What's your story?

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]


Why do you think closed questioned are better suited?

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]


Yeah, I have found that in the past. It's been frustrating and I've found myself wondering, 'why can't I act like that all the time'

I will make a conscious effort to talk to girls that I'm not that bothered about as a way of training myself to be more confident. I feel a wee bit uneasy about it though, as I fear I'll be giving them the wrong signals and may end up hurting their feelings.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]


I hadn't considered that.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]


Thats the thing, when I spoke to this girl today, she seemed totally unfazed by everything I said, totally confident and a bit cold. She didn't seem nervous at all and that is why I have the feeling that she is not keen on me.


By the same token then women must find it easier to talk with men they don't care for.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]


Ummm, its a tricky one, probably about a six or seven, I mean, nobody else in work has commented on her so I guess she isn't stunning in a conventional way. She has dark/reddish hair which I prefer and has a very slim, toned body. She carries herself with such elegance.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]


I understand, as you said earlier she will probably be snapped up by a more experienced fella. It's good to prepare for the worst, while still hoping for the best.


I wouldn't rely on my rating too much, I'm not good at making those sort of judgments, obviously to me she is 10. I'm sort of guessing others views. I do know that a blonde would get more attention so you never know.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]


I'll give it a go. Thanks for boosting my confidence. I've got to sign off for now, will let you know how things go over the weekend.

Talk to you then.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]


Can you give us some examples please, it would be great to get a different perspective on the situation.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]


This is something that would make me feel very positive about the future. In the past I have dug myself into a hole by convincing myself that everyone else is best looking than me and its just tough luck mate, your destined for a life of being alone.

Charm and confidence are things that can be improved upon and it has given me hope that with a lot of hard work and perserverance something good can happen.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]

Thanks angel eyes, yes I see what you mean now. Alot of nonsense there, but a few pearls of wisdom have been thrown in along the way, I suppose its a matter of being selective and not taking everything as red.

Yes, I'm going to work on the confidence side of things first. One stage at a time.
Looks aren't everything to me either which I'm proud of. I'm not interested in having the most beautiful girlfriend, as long as we're happy with each other what more could you ask for. I see so many men with their 'trophy girlfriends' and I think to myself that is just silly.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]


What about first impressions? If you feel the first meeting didn't go down well is there still hope?

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]

Oh nothing really, I've been replaying the couple of opportunities I've had to speak with her and they didn't come across as very natural. Its okay, I understand that it will be difficult at first but as I make conversation with more girls it will be better.

On the point for her rating that we discussed yesterday, I would probably bump it up to an 8 now.
There was an oldish man flirting with her today in work.She seemed to enjoy the attention. It pissed me off no end but its a valuable lesson I guess.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]


Well thats something, but would it not be the exception rather than the rule?

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]


Thats something I'm beginning to understand. In the past I would maybe try too hard to make someone like me. It doesn't work like that. I'm looking more to the future now instead of worrying about what has gone before.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]


Mmmm, maybe. I have noticed something which I can work on. I do come across to other people, not just girls, as quite serious. I have been told I don't smile enough (I'm a bit self concious of my teeth, there okay but not great!) The old man is a friend, I don't think he was playing for something, just creating a nice, jovial, light atmosphere.

I want to be like that.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]


Your right, I'm focusing too much on what she may not like about me. I should be concentrating on my many good qualities. Old habits die hard I'm afriad.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]

Thanks Lobo,
Theres alot I must mull over.
Heading out now with a few friends. Its an opportunity to put a few things into action we discussed before, like starting conversations with girls I don't have interest in. Its tricky with my mates, I think I need new ones to be honest. All there are interested in is playing poker and getting very badly drunk. Its an all male preserve. Not too many opportunities there. I guess I need them as a kind of safety blanket, I couldn't walk into a bar on my own, not knowing anyone. I would quickly move to the corner and try to blend in with the wallpaper!

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]


I know what you mean. For someone inexperienced like myself, it only makes me feel worse about myself. All those opportunities I'm just not taking.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]

Didn't even get to the pub, my mates decided they would just stay in and play poker.
I'll have to branch off from them. I can't let them dictate.