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Posts by scguy  

Joined: 16 Dec 2010 / Male ♂ 		Last Post: -
Threads: Total: 1 / In This Archive: 1
Posts: Total: 19 / In This Archive: 19
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scguy   
16 Dec 2010
Love / Concerns about Polish Family / Child Support Law [68]

Hey all,

I'd like to know if someone on these forums know the current Child Support Law of Poland. Is it a fixed amount of money based on Salary, or is it a judge that sticks his wet thumb in the air, and says "hohoho, you pay 10000 euros / month to this child's mother from now on"?

Currently, this girl I've meet (she studies at my school), is a bit like a forbidden fruit. I really like her, but I'm VERY distrustful (or cautious some might say!).

I need to know the exact financial risk I'd be taking dating this girl. I've kept the relationship sexless for something like a three weeks now, on the basis that I've insisted on a full STD Test before engaging in even protected sex with her - and dear Jesus shes made that hard for me to do.

However the test came back (negative as expected... duh), and now I need to make a decision on weather or not to actually sleep with this woman.
scguy   
16 Dec 2010
Love / Concerns about Polish Family / Child Support Law [68]

Either you expect the girl to have an STD test (I'm surprised she hasn't told you to beat it yet and dumped your ass) or you need to take an STD test yourself...

Both of us took them - perfectly reasonable thing to do before engaging in sexual intercourse with anyone. I fail to see what the issue is with that?

Haha cos you intend on getting her pregnant then doing a runner :D:D

No, because I have no way to know for certain if she will do a runner.

PUT A JONNY ON IT IDIOT!

I always do, but condoms are inherently a unreliable anti conception tool. Johnny + The Pill is the only way to be reasonably safe.

WTF????!!! You really are a classy guy eh?

Your subjective evaluation of my class aside, I don't believe in letting emotion rule my life. Every decision needs to be evaluated for the potential risk it imposes.

Maybe I should have added this, since this seems to be a subject that provokes emotional reactions:

I don't mind paying child support, if I indeed get [any girl] pregnant. However, this is a special case, since she might decide to first of all go home to Poland, and as such make it incredibly hard for me to see my hypothetical child. Secondly, given the country I live in, will respect whatever ruling performed by a judge in Poland, I need to know the law they rule upon.
scguy   
16 Dec 2010
Love / Concerns about Polish Family / Child Support Law [68]

Why? Unless you spend your time sleeping around with just about anything with a pulse then you shouldn't really have cause for concern.

Considering that I have no way to confirm her sexual past, and she has no way to confirm mine, trust is just stupid in a case like this. I'd be getting these tests done regardless of the girl in question.

Seriously go get some help or something. The way you are thinking about this is way wrong.

Why? I don't know the girl. The entire point of getting into a relationship is to figure out if the counterpart is trustworthy. By default everyone starts with zero trust, and then goes up from there. I've known her for three months, and I've been spending excessive time with her for three weeks. She strikes me as intelligent, considerate and pleasant to spend time with.

However we all know that things are not always as the appear, and I'm not willing to risk a child of mine being used in as a pawn in some scheme. The more intelligent a person appears, the more careful you should be around them.

scguy:
I always do, but condoms are inherently a unreliable anti conception tool
No they are not.

Please produce a reliable link to the source stating that condoms are 100% effective.

I assumed that the guy has got a bird knocked up and this is his cover story.
But then again I have a very suspicious mind when it comes to such threads, it's the whole issue of trust.

You're missing the entire point: I'm trying to figure out the financial risk I'm running, being in a relationship with a girl from Poland, which is why I'm on this forum.

I already know the financial risk having a relationship with a Swedish citizen. However I need to calculate the same numbers for a Polish citizen.

I don't know if there is a cultural significance here, but it seems that you guys react VERY negatively towards actually considering what one is doing, instead of just jumping into something without doing the proper research first.
scguy   
16 Dec 2010
Love / Concerns about Polish Family / Child Support Law [68]

Well they sure know how to party on planet Vulcan. Or so the story goes. Star Trek doesn't cover it well enough.

"Running a relationship"

Well, if the **** hit the fan, it kinda would need to go into the spreadsheet -- next to the electrical bill. I don't own a car, so I can't comment how much it would be like owning a Rolls.

There is nothing wrong with running a predictable economy :P
scguy   
16 Dec 2010
Love / Concerns about Polish Family / Child Support Law [68]

On a serious note, my little Polish daughter costs me 2000 złoty a month and she is worth every groszy. Accident or not, she is mine and I love her to bits.

Is this a flat rate, or adjustable based on income and/or subjective evaluation of some random judge?
scguy   
16 Dec 2010
Love / Concerns about Polish Family / Child Support Law [68]

Its voluntary. I am a responsible father who does not put a price on relationships or look to seek for a way out.

This isn't about a way out. Dear Jesus...

This is about weather or not Polish law would, in theory, allow her to force me to pay an unreasonable amount. Such as 40% of my income, which I've seen mentioned else where.

I've tried to track down how the rates are set, but I've come up empty handed, which leads me to believe that it's a case-by-case system. And if they convert my salary into Zloty and then considering as if it was a Polish Citizen, then I can easily imagine that they say "yea, you can keep 1000 zt, that seems fair with our perspective". Which wouldn't really pay much in this part of the world.
scguy   
16 Dec 2010
Love / Concerns about Polish Family / Child Support Law [68]

Now just admit u got someone preggars...

No. But I will admit that I am not going to pursue the relationship further.

What are you going to be thinking about when your actually making love to her.

There will be no love making. Knowing this risk, I won't be able to go maintain a relationship - I'll simply fear the consequences too much. I owe her to be able to trust her. But I simply can't when the law on the area is put together like this.

I think you mean "whether" and "elsewhere" is one word.

Yes, and yes. English is not my first language, so I apologize for having missed these obvious errors.

How old are you.

26
scguy   
16 Dec 2010
Love / Concerns about Polish Family / Child Support Law [68]

Yes. This is my issue. The law in the country where the woman resides is what takes precedence. Something about "recognizing the competence of foreign courts".

The law is apparently MUCH more brutal on the matter in Poland than here.
scguy   
16 Dec 2010
Love / Concerns about Polish Family / Child Support Law [68]

But that means you will never have a relationship in your life.

Untrue. The law here isn't based on a judge deciding what you pay. The amount is fixed by law, and is only adjusted for inflation

O_____O

It will be definitely better for the girl if you don't "maintain this relationship"...
Jesus...

Indeed. I just need to figure out what to tell her.
scguy   
16 Dec 2010
Love / Concerns about Polish Family / Child Support Law [68]

Uh-huh. 'I've run the financials past a bunch of people I've never ever met before on an internet forum' should get you the result you want...

Nah, too much drama would arise from that.
scguy   
16 Dec 2010
Love / Concerns about Polish Family / Child Support Law [68]

I think you're right. It's going to be interesting.

However, I don't believe I "deserve" anything. I don't owe her anything at all, and neither does she owe me anything. We had three nice weeks going to movies, out for dinner and whatever you do when you date. We've both had a nice time. So please... there is no reason to be all condescending. Jesus...
scguy   
17 Dec 2010
Love / Concerns about Polish Family / Child Support Law [68]

And for sure normal people don't decide about going out with somebody or not based on what kind of law there's in hers/his country of origin.

It would seem like it's a valid concern though. In this case for instance, the law in her country of origin creates a strong disequilibrium between us. Being on equal terms is, if not the most important, then one of the most important things in a relationship. Of course thats just my opinion.

I suspect she'll pretty shocked. But she should know the truth.

She will. Shes a nice girl and she deserves to know what the problem is.

Stay away from emotional girls. Or you'll end up hurting many women, Mr. Spock.

Emotion is all good and well, I enjoy displaying it my self. This isn't about emotions, this is about the relationship not being on fair ground for both parties to begin with.

I originally gained this concern because she told me about a friend of hers, that got monthly child support from a guy in Norway, that was higher than her moms salary -- and that it was pretty sweet, because then she didn't have to work. She could just be a good mother. If being at home all the time can be considered a good example to set for your kid. I want no part of a regime like that.
scguy   
17 Dec 2010
Love / Concerns about Polish Family / Child Support Law [68]

Mate, seriously you are making urself look a fool. Nobody on earth enters a relationship with the split already in mind. Plus, wear a freaking condom if its such a concern!

Okey, I realize that it might have been unclear in the original post.

The concern about this law related issue has come up AFTER I started seeing her, WHILE we were waiting for test results to come back. And I reiterate: it is STANDARD PROCEDURE for me, to insist on a full barrage of tests before having sex. And no, I don't do one night stands for this very same reason.

And to quote my self:

I originally gained this concern because she told me about a friend of hers, that got monthly child support from a guy in Norway, that was higher than her moms salary -- and that it was pretty sweet, because then she didn't have to work. She could just be a good mother. If being at home all the time can be considered a good example to set for your kid. I want no part of a regime like that.

It was after she made this explicit statement a few days ago I became concerned with the law on the area. It's not really HER intentions that concern me. But there is a saying: hell knows no fury like a woman scorn. And I'd prefer not to have a scorn woman on my ass, with the law to back it. Which I would in case a child became involved and we left each other.

Mate, seriously you are making urself look a fool. Nobody on earth enters a relationship with the split already in mind. Plus, wear a freaking condom if its such a concern!

As previously (clearly) stated, then I only have sex wearing a condom AND with a girl that is taking birth control. You can never be too safe in these matters.
scguy   
17 Dec 2010
Love / Concerns about Polish Family / Child Support Law [68]

Right, so if it's standard procedure for you to insist on full testing, you should know that HIV tests should be done initially between 2 to 12 weeks, then again after 6 months to ensure a negative test result.

I'm aware that this can never be fully tested, but you're still able to test for everything else within a few weeks.
scguy   
17 Dec 2010
Love / Concerns about Polish Family / Child Support Law [68]

how do/will you know she is taking the pill ? are u going to be there when she takes it ?

or do u have something planned during foreplay ?

Left to trust, which is why the condoms is there and not birth control on it's own. If the girl decides to pop the pills into the toilet, then at least I've still got control of my part of the agreement.

But you shouldn't be going near her if you aren't willing to shoulder your financial responsibilities. Polish law, thankfully, has no time for such men.

That conclusion was reached an hour or so ago. Thankfully, I don't have to be a subject to Polish Law.