Love / Polish Girl Doesn't Want To Touch. [240]

Wroclaw: I do give her space. It's not like I'm trying to touch her every hour or every day. Maybe a little more info would help on this. When I do touch her, I don't do it in an inappropriate spot, too often, or pick bad timing. I do it when I feel it's right, when it is obvious we are both feeling good together, been laughing or something or say for instance we just didn't get done talking about 'vomiting' or 'explosive diarrhoea'.

Wroclaw: We are both fairly new to the city and have no new close friends in which we would eat popcorn with over a dvd movie. I am quite picky about making new close friends. I feel she is the same way too. We are both artists and introverts. We do not have a need for a bunch of gabby people smothering us. This is one of our compatibility points. Space is something we understand with each other. So, lonliness motivating her to use me as a prop just doesn't sound right. But, I'd like to rule out me being used as a prop Wroclaw.

king polkakamon: I've put more than that in her hand, even though I don't have much. Consider too, she has no living cost right now. She has her own room, free shelter. She has free food. I have a culinary diploma, so I enjoy cooking, but this is benefit for her that I make meals. I even wash the dishes. I'm in a financially transitional part of my life. I am an artist too. Due to this, I don't have much extra to give, but she knows I share everything with her. I've helped her out with a few things badly needed, and even gave her money to send gifts back to Poland to family and friends. If I wanted to pay for touching, even with my struggling budget, a street walker would be much cheaper and less emotionally taxing, but I don't like prostitutes. Realistically, I could just get an American artist girlfriend if I'll wanted was an introvert that would touch, but I my heart is set on her. Life has thrown us together for a reason.

David 18: She, not into me? But she is in my life, let me emphasize 'in', more than anyone else's life now and for awhile. That makes me wonder about her motives. She doesn't have to be with me, she chooses. This makes it all the more confusing.

Maybe she only wants me as a friend. I'm usually have no problem compromising, I know it's the reasonable thing to do and makes situations go great and bad when you don't. But I feel like I'm the bendiest guy in the world now, a professional contortionist that could make money in the circus. I'm bending over backwards really far, and she knows it. How can I know for sure if she only wants to be friends?

Only as friends will not work for me. Fate has decided a very strong romantic feeling inside me. It's just one of those things in life. This particular passion is not something that can be tweaked anyway I want it. Either arms wide open, or this chapter must end. I don't want to close the book on her, but I have to consider it as a possible way to act, because like I said, this is tearing me up. I'm strong enough to end it, if and only if that must be done. But first, I must know romance is the wrong thing. I really want things to work out, I don't want the end thing.

monika87: You sound confident. I respect confidence. I don't want what you say to be true, but if it is, it is more important that not understanding. How can I be sure you are right she doesn't really care for me that way? Can you make me understand it. No American girl has done this outright, they always has some romantic physical interest that didn't need to be paid for. They didn't give me touches, they wanted to touch and be touched. It's the difference between doing things because of instinct vs. cultural conditioning. I'm not the wealthiest guy in the world, so they could have never been after money.

As a side point, it is very interesting how this situation has made me brainstorm ideas and possibilities, because I've had an epiphany on similarities between prostitutes and good moral women vs. the American woman. American women do what they want. If they feel they want sex, they go for it without a contract. They do it out of freedom to express their inner desires. They usually do this in a respectful monogamous way too. On the other hand, a prostitute and good moral woman demand some form of payment, either cash on hand or a promise of stability before sex occurs. The classic woman I thought couldn't look like a prostitute.

I don't want a I pay and stay friend. I cannot have self respect for myself, knowing she knows how I feel. Oh, she does know.

king polkakamon: What more could I wish for? You must be joking. A pay and stay friend? I don't need to wish for more, I've had more. I've turned down more. There are a lot of intelligent, very gorgeous American artist women who are monogamous and who'd have sex like in the first week of dating. It's four months and I can't even hold her hand, come on. I'm not GQ, but I'm not a rogue either. I've had some very nice women in my life. They've been willing to give things a try. I want a lover, not a friend, especially not a pay and stay friend.

I hope it's not true, but I won't deny if it's reasonable to conclude as such. She knows if she has no interest she is playing a game with me, because she has no need to be here. But she won't communicate, so I have to ask people that may understand her from her cultural point of view, because American woman just don't have time to play games, unless they are just stupid girls to begin with. Smart girls get what they want, they don't have time to play games with poor artists who vulnerable to passion.

warszawski: I grew up on the west coast of America. We are laid back, honest and free spirited. What's my age, I don't wan't to make things too specific, because I sort of have to respect some sense of anonymity, because this is not exactly something I like having to do (go online to find out things I should just get on my own). I may tell her about this anyway so she can read all your gossip, at least she'll know everything was from a truthful insider, yours truly. I'm not the kind to hide things like this (from the person it is about), but again, she is forcing me to try to understand her through others opinions, when she could just tell me to my face. She is encouraging gossip and potential misunderstanding. But I have not choice. Sometimes I wonder, if I am of so little value to her, that I don't deserve to hear her true feelings about me?

Love / Polish Girl Doesn't Want To Touch. [240]

pgtx: I do find it funny too. I have a great sense of humour, but in light of things said, can you imagine the expression that ends my laughter. It sucks.

Love / Polish Girl Doesn't Want To Touch. [240]

trener zolwia

Thank you for your honest opinion. If this is true, that she is only using me, how would you react to it? She is a friend, not that great of a friend if she is being insensitive and just using me.

Love / Polish Girl Doesn't Want To Touch. [240]


Should have to say that. I've never had to ever, ever, ever. And I don't plan on it. But your funny though. You go on telling them, and I'll start ignoring the ones that I have to tell as I have.

Love / Polish Girl Doesn't Want To Touch. [240]


She's in the next room. I would only waste minutes.

Love / Polish Girl Doesn't Want To Touch. [240]


Yeah, I do have a problem understanding girls, the ones that don't understand me. Fortunately, they're are intelligent and sexy girls that do, so such a comment only grazed the balls.

Love / Polish Girl Doesn't Want To Touch. [240]


Oh really? I'll take stock in your comment.

Love / Polish Girl Doesn't Want To Touch. [240]

Isn't this forcing me her feel as if there is a contract for friendship? I wanted to avoid something like this.

Love / Polish Girl Doesn't Want To Touch. [240]


I have offered her a massage. I even said, a legit one. I know she likes them, because of something I cannot say... but she tells me that maybe some unattractive person we are acquainted with may want one.

Love / Polish Girl Doesn't Want To Touch. [240]


I played a similar game, and we laughed. But, still, no confirmation.

Love / Polish Girl Doesn't Want To Touch. [240]


Would she just prefer to leave on her own? I would think that would be the best idea if that's what she wanted. I mean, I guess I just wouldn't be myself.

Love / Polish Girl Doesn't Want To Touch. [240]

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I agree. Touching can be overdone. And, just being next to someone is nice in and of itself. But have you ever heard of those infants that were deprived of human touch? They just locked them away from the human hand and warmth of the body. They died. I think there is something seriously wrong, when a person doesn't want touch. They either feel repulsed by the other person or just don't know how nice it really is. Even just a little.


That sounds very amazing, but something already unbelievable happens when I give her money... something astounding... something mind blowing and magical... Poof! she disappears! Now, why don't you try to touch some one who vanishes into thin air!


I have asked. She becomes expressionless, almost slightly irritable. Even if calm, and sweet in the asking, she avoids eye contact and says nothing. She will even walk away without saying goodbye. She has done it several times. I feel as if I didn't try to contact her, we wouldn't be talking today. I know that is seems like she is being selfish, but there just seems to be something else there causing it, but maybe I'm wrong. I'm not one to assume I know everything, otherwise I couldn't have learned this much.

Love / Polish Girl Doesn't Want To Touch. [240]


You're right. I shouldn't support a person who feel so little for me. It takes away opportunity for something real to happen. I'll have to find a way to confront her without destroying the possibility that things have value in pursuing.


I never thought to tease her. She like to laugh. I actually haven't tried that.

Would you recommend a good Polish beer, something she may like?

Love / Polish Girl Doesn't Want To Touch. [240]


I really need to hear this. Thanks. But first, I will teaze. If that doesn't work, this relationship is off... like pants in the dark.

Love / Polish Girl Doesn't Want To Touch. [240]

Seanus

Thanks. Now hopefully we don't become a couple of drunken, outrageous, alcoholics, but if it means we touch, I guess all medications have their side effects.

Love / Polish Girl Doesn't Want To Touch. [240]


She should know better than to take me that way, it would only mean is soemthing she added. I can joke about it, but I'm not that way, especially about someone I obviously have true feeling for.

So, I will sincerely teaze her.

Love / Polish Girl Doesn't Want To Touch. [240]


Ok. But I fear this is radical because of how it can be interpreted, as if I have little or no attraction to her. And reasonably, who would want to be with someone who had little or no interest in them? It seems like a manipulative game done by the jealous, the untrusting, or the desperately ignorant. I would imagine it may attract a game player or a victim who will eventually discover the shallow truth of such scurrilous methods that are not naturally in the motivations of true romance. I am open to another interpretation, but I've never operated on this level due to my preference for honesty and the high price that it pays. Deception is for the cheap. Honesty is very expensive. I prefer to build things on truth.

Love / Polish Girl Doesn't Want To Touch. [240]


And, therefore I'm here.

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No need to be sorry. I don't like people that aren't my type either. Why do you think she would hang on when she knows the way I feel about her?

Love / Polish Girl Doesn't Want To Touch. [240]

Ok. I'm considering were are not each other's type. But, why do all this with someone not your type? It's not so simple for me to believe it, all things considered.

Love / Polish Girl Doesn't Want To Touch. [240]

I don't think the landscape is something that can be learned before hand. Everyone has different terrain. Discovery is part of the fun, but knowing a person well is something no stranger to the land can hope to achieve the first time around. I know how to explore and be attentive and communicate well. I know how to discover The How of walking the land. Access is the issue here. You suggested teasing and some cheerfull drink. Ok. I'm taking that seriously.

Love / Polish Girl Doesn't Want To Touch. [240]

My horse has been ready to jump the fence and make a mad dash across her meadow for some time. Even a dark and stormy night probably would not bring him back to the barn.

Love / Polish Girl Doesn't Want To Touch. [240]


ok, that's enough joking for me. thanks seanus. it's alway good to laugh.

Love / Polish Girl Doesn't Want To Touch. [240]

I've given each of these things consideration, I'm a bit surprised you brought thought of a list similar to my own. It's as if you are an insider and familiar with things. I've hinted indirectly at all of them at some time or another with her either through accidental conversation that reveal such things or just talked with her because I was curious one of them may be true and explain everything, but she has led me to believe some are not true and the others she just freezes and abruptly ends the conversation.

I'm glad to hear this about Polish women, although it doesn't make my situation seem brighter.

I'm definitely not too fast, but not shy. I just have to know a girl is turned on already to touch them or getting turned on right away in order to keep touching, so as you can see I'm very sensitive to their mood and/or response. Half the time, girls make the move on me or make it real obvious there is an invitation. American girls only. Well English too, oh yes French, and German, they like me too.

I'm not trying to sweet talk her. If that was really what I was trying to do, I could have already gotten a girl everyday of the week with a clean outfit, some clever lies, just hanging at the bar, it's just not my style, but I tampered with the idea to test my potential to make it work, and it does. It just feels stupid, so I don't do it.

Well, I find it deceptive to not tell a guy there is no romantic attraction. There are so many ways to say it without being rude, then go on with your life. Hiding things is cowardly, when a person would loose benefits by being honest. Why waste time with people you aren't serious about? Why waste their time? Obviously a so called friends life is not worth much if you are just wasting it by being a coward and not saying something that should be stated.

I don't want to be too specific. I'm trying to keep this anonymous. So age and money is out of this. Let's keep this to personality differences, which is what matters most. If age or money was an issue, I'm sure we wouldn't have got this far. She has known about these feeling from day one. I reminded her many times with compliments and doing nice things for her. She speaks good English. She says she has had boyfriends.

It's about the 4 months. It's that we've been over the slutty, sleezy issue several times. She knows it makes me sick. I don't have sexual hang ups, I don't think nudity or sex is nasty. I don't add filth to romance, love or affection, especially to monogamous affairs. Let's leave that to the moralists or the ones that really are nasty.

I don't think it's an ideal way, but I wouldn't rule out something that might just lighten things up, maybe get the ball going. It may or may not be the lynch pin. I can't take drinking seriously, I really don't like it, but occasionally it can be fun romantically, if taken in moderation of course.

She just gets stiff and doesn't respond, no matter how sweet I am about bringing it up. No, I don't want to get her drunk and take advantage of her. That's really taken out of context and not meant that way. If I wanted a prostitute, or easy girl, there are plenty of them and good looking at that. I know many guys act this way or are this way, but there are exceptions. The ones who aren't fulfilled by such shallow thrills and are quite offended to be accused of it. It's not a moral insult, it an insult to intelligence. Slutty is just stupid. enough said. As if we can't have a drink with a girl without making it seems like we are trying to turn them against their will. It's just for a little fun, to lighten up a bit.

Thanks Paulina. I may laugh a little, but I did say the third stage was just kinda being sad about it. Honesty? Openess? I've been trying to say, that's why I am here, because the subject is not so successful to approach with her. I can still try, but I if I want to have any kind of quality day I don't bring it up. It's as if she punishes me with silence when I do. So, again, I'm here trying to get this figured out. Thanks for such a lengthy and thoughtful reply.

Stay with me, you all find out how it goes, because I intend on getting to the bottom of this one way or another.

Seanus: of course, I got what you meant by the drink.

Shewolf: Yes, she's know from the start.

Love / Polish Girl Doesn't Want To Touch. [240]

Update: We just talked about it. I'm so surprised. I told her again how I felt and what I need. I assured her she got a place and we gonna be friends either way, but she must consider I have needs as a man, I need to have some sign of pursuit. Should I prepare myself to look elsewhere, or could I count on her, because she is really where I want things to go. I told her I could go as slow as she needs, but I need to know what I'm doing with my life. Someone else, or should I find some nice girl in a circle of artists here in the city. Finally, she said she needs a couple days and she'll give me an answer. But I wasn't sure she knew what question I was asking. So I clarified. I said, it is whether we can go further. She let me know that's the answer she will give in two days. I said, is it gonna be a simple yes or no, or something more complicated. She said more complicated probably. You have no idea how awesome it is to hear her say I will get an answer. I've gone bi-polar because I imagine a no answer and I'm filled with anxiety and hell and fear, then I hear a yes and I'm elated, I can only imagine how nice we could feel together. Then back again to hell.

Also, I said I've talked to some people about her. I told them some of what you all have said. I said it it's on-line forum. I said she just has been so quiet about it, so I had to try and figure out someway, somehow, what she is not telling me. I told her about you people. I said I can even tell you where to find these people and you could see everything said. She really wanted to know, so I told her the polishforums.com. I said, you could probably figure out where to go on the site. And she did. She types in the browser bar and the page loads. She begins scrolling down, then points at this thread right away and says is this it? I say, oh, is that something I might say? I smile. So she goes to another thread "How to find an English speaking boyfriend in Poland" and asks "is this it?" Great, now she thinks I'm gay. But, I guess that would be off topic. I probably should start another thread.

Love / Polish Girl Doesn't Want To Touch. [240]

Thanks for all the comments and suggestions. I have the answer. Unfortunately for those curious, you will have to use your imagination, because I am unable tell you anything more.

Love / Polish Girl Doesn't Want To Touch. [240]

She gave me an answer. She said there was a blockade in her. I asked her what the blockade was. She said she didn't know. I said, would you like to move past it? She would not answer. She acted irritated that I was even asking.

This morning I said it's time to go. She got her stuff and left.

I can only imagine what a piece of crap she must think of me as. A pervert that wanted true love. I pyscho that would have died for her. But a reasonable enough person to draw a line and say, "Frankly, Olga I don't give a damn." I'm so horrible for wanted us to be elevated in a relationship that many people only dream of, and she thinks of me with disgust.

I shed tears last night, and I'm gonna be sad for some time to come. I'm trying to hold it together, some of you at me as pathetic to even have let this go so long or and some of you look at me as rapist for even wanting to hug her in a sensual way as if the need for human affection were a emotional disorder. Well she's gone and I told her to go. I already want her back.

F*!k. F*!k. F*!k. F*!k. I'm crying.