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Posts by Phurion  

Joined: 20 Jul 2010 / Male ♂ 		Last Post: -
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Posts: Total: 7 / In This Archive: 7 		From: Brooklyn, NY

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Phurion   
20 Jul 2010
Love / Polish Girl & Me...Is She Interested? [57]

Hello everyone,

I am new to forums but have been visiting the site for a while. I will provide some background information about myself and the Polish girl I recently met, then ask questions:

I am an American and recently met a Polish girl who moved to the states several years ago. She was educated here and maintains a steady job as a bartender working in a NYC restaraunt. My job provides me a decent income and allows me to live comfortably. She has disclosed her salary to me and when I do the math, her spending outweighs her income which leads me to believe she has an alternate income that I am unaware of. Likewise, she has no credit cards so what she buys must be on cash/debit payment.

Our relationship began several months ago and she came onto me quick, expressing her interest in me. It wasn't long before we were having sex. Soon after, things became akward. She began asking me to buy more and more for her which I am stupid for allowing but I had developed feelings for her and was in a relationship so I accepted it. Whenever I politely asked her to pitch in for dinner, drinks, movie or whatever was being purchased, she explains that she is Polish/Eastern European and the man is supposed to do that. Now I am not talking about petty cash here, but hundreds of dollars at times.

Recently, she began talking about marriage and moving in together. She also told me she loved me. I have questioned her on love and marriage and the idea of being in a relationship with me to which she hardly provides a good explanation.

Now, I have a couple questions:

1. Is it traditional for Polish men to pay for literally everything? I mean, are Polish men that accomodating toward their partner?

2. Does she appear to have traditional values or am I being used for something else? ...something she is not telling me.

3. Do Polish girls like American men?

This is the first Polish girl I have dated so please pardon my ignorance.

Any insight would be appreciated.
Phurion   
20 Jul 2010
Love / Polish Girl & Me...Is She Interested? [57]

Thanks for the reply.

Recently, I have been talking to her about it and she becomes defensive, often resorting to the "I'm Polish so understand my culture" type of argument.

She makes no sense.
Phurion   
20 Jul 2010
Love / Polish Girl & Me...Is She Interested? [57]

The intuitive feeling I have toward her and her behaviors is not good. I should not have to question her or myself like I am. It does not feel normal nor should it be.

It's great to hear from others on this matter. I'm slowly understanding the Polish culture but in all reality, this girl is sounding more and more to be crazy and that comes with any culture so maybe I should be studying psych right now!

I could provide more details for all of you, for example, details on her upbringing and where she grew up...if that will help.

As I previously mentioned, she really confuses the hell out of me with this whole money situation. I mean, she claims to have nothing, to be in debt, no credit, etc...but can afford all of what she has?! I worry she might be providing services to people for money which is truly disguisting.

Also, another question, are Polish girls big party animals? What makes a Polish girl a "party girl."
Phurion   
21 Jul 2010
Love / Polish Girl & Me...Is She Interested? [57]

Paulina,

Thanks for the info.

As for the "party girl" question, I only ask because this girl can drink alot and she parties hard. She goes clubbing all the time with friends on random nights, gets no sleep and has no problem with it. Not sure if Polish girls are more acceptant of partying or if it's just her.

I think you may be over-sensitive on this point. All these expensive clothes she wore may be borrowed. Polish girls are known to be life-wise.

Unless she earns money from a job other than her full-time one, which she claims she does not (I have asked), then there is no logical explanation for all of what she has. And I do understand Polish women are close-knit...I see that first hand. They really help each other out and provide for one another, but this girl has a home, property, utilities, car, cellphone, insurance and the luxury of going out (not talking about when I'm there to pay). Once you do the math, there is no way she can afford even 2/3 of what she has on her current salary. I highly doubt her friends are making mortage payments.

And I have anecdotal evidence to support my concerns, just no hard proof.
Phurion   
21 Jul 2010
Love / Polish Girl & Me...Is She Interested? [57]

Paulina,

Why am I with her if I have such disrespect? First, I never disrespected her until recently, which is why I seek advice on a forum geared toward Polish culture. My gut feeling about her and the prositution bit was never good. I suspected it before we were dating but brushed it aside so that I could get to know her and I was stupid for it. You see, when you develop feelings for somebody you fail to incorporate logic into your thinking processes as emotions cloud your mind.

The truth is I don't think she is currently engaging in prostitution, but I wonder about her past. It's funny that for the last four months (the time I have been dating her), she complains about being broke but prior to that, her financial situation was much better (as she reports). I believe that she uses me not only for money but to provide security and comfort in terms of living standard, self-respect and a way to manage herself without resorting to illegal activity. It's like a way out for her. This might also explain why proposed the idea of marriage. Does any right-minded individual get married after four months? What the hell is that all about?

Also, she told me that she gets tested on a "regular basis" for sexually transmitted diseases and even "tests herself" for HIV/AIDS. Who the **** does that?! All of that came up in conversation and she was not being sarcastic. In fact, the expression I gave when I heard it quickly made her change the subject. Similarly, she once admitted that she believes prostitution is an understandable/acceptable form of work in certain instances.

By the way everyone, in the U.S., alot of Russian and E. European women work for escort services where they advertise a date but sex occurs at some point during the "date." If ever questioned by authorities, both parties would simply allege that the sex was consensual. Thus, a loophole in the law since the sex was agreed upon and money only exchanged for the purpose of a "date." Alot of women also work in massage parlors where sexual favors occur during the massage.
Phurion   
21 Jul 2010
Love / Polish Girl & Me...Is She Interested? [57]

To me, it looks like you already filed her as "prostitute (or kind of a prostitute)", and that you are looking here for the support to confirm your thoughts about her.

I had my suspicions and wanted to get second opinion. I've been reading these forums since I started dating this girl and now, at this point in the relationship, I decide to post here.

As for a future with this girl, there is none. I already know that and I don't intend to start one.

For the record everyone, I have no particular bias against Polish people or women, so those of you making comments in this regard please stop.

And to answer previous questions, this girl is nearly 30 years old.
Phurion   
21 Jul 2010
Love / Polish Girl & Me...Is She Interested? [57]

Well, women of this age in Poland are usually more mature, I think... But maybe it's normal for New York, considering what was going on in "The Sex and the City" series, I don't know ;)))

She is by no means a true New Yorker. Her attitude and way of thinking is entirely not New York.
Phurion   
22 Jul 2010
Love / Polish Girl & Me...Is She Interested? [57]

If an American girl behaved this way, would you dump her because she was mooching off you?

Yes, and no American has done this to me before.