PolishForums LIVE  /  Archives [3]    
   
Posts by zabko  

Joined: 28 Jun 2008 / Female ♀
Last Post: -
Threads: Total: 1 / In This Archive: 1
Posts: Total: 21 / In This Archive: 21

Speaks Polish?: no

Displayed posts: 22
sort: Oldest first   Latest first   |
zabko   
28 Jun 2008
Love / My boyfriend is on a Polish dating site [158]

I have recently discovered that my boyfriend of 3 years who is Polish has been subscribing to a Polish dating website. I have asked him about it and he said that he is not looking for anyone else and that he is only interested in talking to people online and not meeting. Can this really be true? Any advice welcome, I am truly broken hearted.
zabko   
28 Jun 2008
Love / My boyfriend is on a Polish dating site [158]

it is polishdating.co.uk and he is subscribing to it as ive seen his bank statements. I have asked him and he just said why not. A few months ago he registered and said it was only for fun, but now he has subscribed. He says he loves me and we live together, but now I feel that I cant trust him and we are on the verge of moving to another house together. I have also just lent him a large amount of money.
zabko   
28 Jun 2008
Love / My boyfriend is on a Polish dating site [158]

Your Reply re: my boyfriend is on a polish dating site

i have just registered on the site myself and think I have found his profile, which says he is looking for love, romance and sex! Can it really be innocent that he just likes chatting to people.. he is always on the internet.
zabko   
28 Jun 2008
Love / My boyfriend is on a Polish dating site [158]

Why don't you anonymously send him an e-mail through the site ?

i thought about that, but I have to pay money to do so and Im not that desperate.

orry to hear that but the answer in right there.

but do you think he is only chatting and not really wanting to meet anyone? He doesnt have a photo on there.

I know in my heart it is wrong, but I love him so much I cant bear the thought of us not being together.
zabko   
28 Jun 2008
Love / My boyfriend is on a Polish dating site [158]

he always wipes the history on the computer and hides his phone. Last night he told me he was working away and there was no network, but when I called him hiding my number he answered right away. I know when we talk he will accuse me of being stupid. I dont want to leave him unless I am 100% sure he is cheating as I love him. I also just took out a bank loan to help him out even though Im really in debt myself, so now what to do about that.
zabko   
28 Jun 2008
Love / My boyfriend is on a Polish dating site [158]

If he goes he'll take the money with him.
What is the money for ?

a car which he just got last week. He couldnt get a loan so i took it out in my name but the log book is in his name so I guess that means I cant repossess it. Apart from that he owes me other money too as I am always helping him
zabko   
28 Jun 2008
Love / My boyfriend is on a Polish dating site [158]

I paid for the car and have the receipt to prove it, he is the registered owner. God I am stupid. I think he will pay me back, but dont know over how long and I will have to pay interest.
zabko   
28 Jun 2008
Love / My boyfriend is on a Polish dating site [158]

thanks for your responses. You make it sound so easy and clear cut but I know when he gets home it will be a different story. I am sure that I may forgive him and try to forget about this. I do really believe that he loves me.
zabko   
10 Jul 2008
Love / My boyfriend is on a Polish dating site [158]

thanks to all those who responded without taking the ****. Folllowing my last post he has confessed everything to me and said that he became addicted to the internet thing for a while and had a brief fling with someone. He is now begging me to forgive him. I know you will all think Im crazy, but I genuinely believe that he still loves me and I love him bardzo, so I have decided to give him one more chance. Probably I will regret it as he may do the same again, but after 3 years together I feel I have too much to lose and at least if I stay with him for a while I may get my money back. He has promised to pay me everything and I do believe that he will, he is not a total loser, just a man who fcuked up and now regrets it. I am taking it day by day at the moment as we are still living together and we have yet to make the decision whether to move together or separately.
zabko   
10 Jul 2008
Love / My boyfriend is on a Polish dating site [158]

i know you are right and he does have a history of cheating,on his exes, which I have always known about, but chose to ignore. He says that he genuinely does want to change his ways, but is not 100% certain that he will be able to as he admits to having a problem. I have told him that if I even suspect anything again that will be it for sure, and I do mean it this time, so lets see. He also says he feels angry with me for accepting the situation as if it was the other way round he wouldnt. The strange thing is that since I found out our sex life has been better than ever, thats weird isnt it.
zabko   
10 Jul 2008
Love / My boyfriend is on a Polish dating site [158]

Who doesn't...

thats what I am beginning to wonder too. He says that all men are the same and although I really dont want to think like that, past experience and speaking to male friends says different, that most men if they think they can get away with it, will cheat, no matter how good their relationship is or what is at stake. I certainly know that all his Polish male friends in the UK are cheating on their wives and girlfriends back home, so maybe its a Polish trait.

And no, our relationship is not only about sex..if it was I would have left him long ago ;0)
zabko   
10 Jul 2008
Love / My boyfriend is on a Polish dating site [158]

but its true tho

I am glad that you can laugh at others misfortune, must make you a big man huh. Maybe one day you will know the pain I am going through.
zabko   
10 Jul 2008
Love / My boyfriend is on a Polish dating site [158]

well maybe I am stupid, especially for posting on here. To be honest I dont even really care about the money, I just want everything to be alright between us again.

He has only met one woman off the internet twice and now its over as he told her he had a girlfriend. I know he has chatted to others but he hasnt met them. You are right that he is insecure, that is exactly the problem.. he needs to constantly reassure himself that he has 'still got it' as he is approaching middle age. I told him that he needs to choose between his virtual fantasy and false friends or me. He says he has chosen me and he is staying away from the laptop as much as possible, but I know it must be killing him as I know how addictive it can be.
zabko   
11 Jul 2008
Love / My boyfriend is on a Polish dating site [158]

well Ive installed a spy detector on MY computer and looks like he still visiting some sites, although they are in Polish so I dont understand everything. He is also chatting to a woman on skype and was texting her last night, but he says she is just a friend who is going through a hard time. Things have being going well between us lately and we are going away this weekend with friends so I hope I can hold it together at least until we get back. I have realised that he is not going to change although he is telling me something different. We have 6 weeks on our house contract before we can move and he says he will tell me his decision about whether he wants to move with me when he comes back from Poland in a few weeks, but I know now that I need to make my own plans and move forward with my own life.
zabko   
11 Jul 2008
Love / My boyfriend is on a Polish dating site [158]

yes I am surprised as he said he would change. He is going to Poland to visit his family (mom and brother).. he also wants me to go a week later for a holiday and come back together (I cant meet his family as they dont accept me). I know that I need to get rid of him but its so hard as he convinces me that he still loves me and doesnt want to be without me.
zabko   
14 Jul 2008
Love / My boyfriend is on a Polish dating site [158]

guys there is a reason that his family dont accept me and I am fully aware of what it is, however I dont wish to post all of the details here, so please stop with the conspirancy theories. The family problem is an issue, but one that has always been there. We have lived together for almost 3 years now and despite how I might be coming across on here I can assure you that I am not normally a weak person and when it comes to most decision making in the relationship it is definitely me calling the shots. We have just been away for the weekend and had a fantastic time. We are going to talk things through about the house and everything else this week. I do appreciate your advice, but obviously it is not really what I want to hear and also please remember that you dont know all of the facts. Maybe I am deluding myself but I genuinely believe that he still loves me and that maybe we can get through this. If not, then life goes on and it not like anyone has died or anything is it. All broken hearts mend in time, its just a question of how long.
zabko   
14 Jul 2008
Love / My boyfriend is on a Polish dating site [158]

I don't think that we should continually tell people with personal problems that they should leave their partner. We never know all the details.

thank you for that. I dont really know why I posted here and wish I hadnt now, but thanks to all those that have offered constructive advice. At the end of the day the decision is mine and mine alone and with all due respect I am no way going to make a life changing decision based on what random online strangers say.
zabko   
14 Jul 2008
Love / My boyfriend is on a Polish dating site [158]

speak to your close friends, ones who know you and know about him

of course I have done that too. I have spoken to several close friends and my family about everything. The problem is that now they all hate him which makes it difficult if I decide to stay with him :)
zabko   
14 Jul 2008
Love / My boyfriend is on a Polish dating site [158]

they only hate him for what he has done to me thats all.. some friends didnt like him initially, but over time they have come to like him. My family will stand by me whatever decision I make and they will accept it if I stay with him. they just want whatever is best for me.
zabko   
14 Jul 2008
Love / My boyfriend is on a Polish dating site [158]

If he sat down with you and said "I am so sorry.

Actually he said pretty much all of those things and more and I do think he will be devastated if we split up. He suggested a break, but I have told him thats its all or nothing for me. We either stay together and try and work things out, including him being honest about everything and stopping all contact with people he has met online or we split for good. When I said that he said that he does really love me and definitely doesnt want to lose me, but just got addicted to the attention of women on the internet. We have started talking more now than we ever have about our relationship and where (if anywhere) it is going. One of the problems we have had in the past was that his English is not so good and my Polish is pretty non-existent so at times it has been difficult to discuss serious issues, but now that has changed. Anyway like you all said its my decision and whatever I decide I will live with it.