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Polish culture do's and dont's? [106]
Bunch of random observations:
As a foreigner, you will hear Polish people say the most negative things possible about their country and fellow citizens .... do not join in (with even the mildest agreement or criticism) it's a game that only the home team is allowed to play.
For Americans: Don't call people that you know only slightly 'friends', the word(s) in Polish traditionally have _much_ stronger connotations than in English. Americans have a reputation for being shallow and 'insincere' (very negative here) because they call everybody they know 'friends'. Reserve the word 'friend' for extremely close friendships and otherwise use the word 'acquaintance'. Yes, it sounds old fashioned but it will be understood. Similarly, don't say hello or nod to people you don't know but pass on the street (in cities, it may work differently in the countryside).
Don't leave money on the table in restaurants as a tip. Tipping is not strictly necessary, if you want to tip, round up the bill (around 10 per cent). It's completely okay to give them a larger bill and tell them how much change you want back. If you're bill is 63 zl you can give the waitperson a 100 and say you want 30 back (or say "let's say 70). The same goes for taxis.
Do not thank the waitperson as you hand them money or they'll assume you don't want any change back.
When you eat with someone you say 'thank you' at the end of the meal. You can also say while still seated to indicate you don't want to eat anymore.
If someone insists on drinking with you when you've had enough, you can beg off by drinking with them 'symbolically' (drinking something with minimal or no alcohol while they continue to chug it down).
For new arrivals. Pay no attention AT ALL to the intonation people use in English for at least six months, only pay attention to the words and pretend the intonation is neutral, no matter what it sounds like to you. Polish intonation is different from any kind of English and they never have intonation as part of English class. After six months or so you'll start to pick up local versions.
Conversational topics are a lot freer and less restricted than what you may be used to and you find yourself being asked questions that you think are too personal. Think of this as good practice in using your evasive language skills.
Poland is a wonderful place for wimpy anglophones to gain some assertiveness. When you're really upset don't hide it, throw a tantrum. Nobody will hold it against you and it might get you more consideration in the future.
This doesn't apply with people that clearly outrank you. There's generally more overt deference given to people on the basis of status/age/higher position. Be careful around people who outrank you until you learn the rules of engagement.
Men, don't worry too much about when to make your move. If a Polish woman is interested in you, believe me, you'll know. Most Polish women are not shy and retiring and they won't wait forever, they'll give you a chance to make the first move and if you don't then they will.
Women, same thing in reverse. Polish men (at least the more worthwhile ones) are often kind of ... prudish. The lechers are creepy and you'll want to give them a wide bearth but if you are interested in a guy, then be prepared to show (just a little) initiative.
