USA, Canada /
Differences in How Polish People Raise a Child and How Americans Raise a Child [149]
I can only answer for myself - with not a scrap of Polish blood in me. And I'm afraid I'm in blunt mode tonight ...
A child crying themselves to sleep? Many many mothers I know would never condone that and again, they're not Polish. I've done it myself, and he bellowed for 3 hours the first night. He was 8 months old at the time - strong as an ox while I was falling apart after chemo and r/therapy.
(The morning after the 3 hours (during while I didn't sleep a wink) he was jumping up and down happily when I went to say good morning : within 3 nights he was happily self-soothing during the night when he woke/stirred)
One niggling at the back of my mind, however, is "not apartment-block appropriate". A pretty high %age of Poles live in tiny apartments in an apartment block and their neighbours would probably lynch them if they let their kid cry too long in the night.
I asked about additional children because it would seem that the first child gets the luxury deal - following additions get reduced packages right down to "bring yourself up and let me know before you leave for college"
My first child was much needier (as you put it) than my second -- I spent many years of weekends without a sleep-in because she woke early and demanded my attention. She wasn't good at playing by herself - still isn't - but once she learned to read I encouraged her to do that at every opportunity and now thank god she loves reading by herself in the morning. Child number two, however, can amuse himself for a long time in the morning -- totally different personality.
The point buried in there is that some of this might simply be your child's personality ... first baby and all that (birth order is supposed to have some effect ? can't remember where I read that).
At the end of the day - my opinion again - your life as a family is not only about 3 of you, but you and your wife need to have time for an adult-adult relationship as husband and wife *without the presence of children*. This might only be a meal out once a month, but it needs to happen, and I would say it's a right and a responsibility.
Breathing and etc. Do the statistics not say that co-sleeping has a higher risk of SIDS?
As my Canadian doctor put it just after my daughter's birth: "don't bother waking up to check -- you'll never catch the moment unless you stay awake all night"
Anyway, at 13 months we're not talking about an infant any more.
Washing bottles. You use a dish-washer, right? And why is he waking twice a night to be fed? Ok, I'm obviously missing something here because I would expect a child of 13 months to sleep through the night. I *needed* mine to do that because broken sleep would kill me (I work full time)
Everyday baths. Oh the shame: I've never washed mine everyday. "Top and tail", yes, but not a full-blown steam and wax.
Ok - I'll stop here because I've probably insulted a number of readers :) I usually do when I get talking about children. It's a very emotive topic ... I've seen women nearly come to blows over the various topics.
/cj
