UK, Ireland / Marriage in Sweden, divorce in Poland (applying from Ireland?) [40]

Ok, well the Irish courts will not look at all favourably on a Pakistani man behaving in that manner. I think they'll be sympathetic to your girlfriend and she may not need any substantial documentary evidence or proof that he defrauded her in the form of the wife in Pakistan etc. The court can decare the marriage void if they are satisfied that the guy's intention was merely to ge the residence permit even without the wifey in the picture. It's definitely worth talking to a solicitor. Just get a consultation and then proceed on your own if you can't afford to have a solicitor represent you. The Irish courts are easy enough to navigate and not too intimidating. You could go to FLAC for some initial advice. They might be able to put you in touch with a specialist in this area:

flac.ie/help

Try this solicitor:

brophysolicitors.ie/practice-areas/immigration-solicitors-dublin

UK, Ireland / Marriage in Sweden, divorce in Poland (applying from Ireland?) [40]

Well she needs to be careful because she doesn't want to leave herself open to prosecution if the court decides that she knowingly participated in a sham marriage. You have good grounds if she states that she entered into the marriage believing it be genuine and later discovered that it was fraudulent on his part and only done to obtain a residence permit. Under no circumstances should she say that she married him in order to help him get such a permit as that's an offence.

I think that at this stage your best bet is to lay all the facts before an Irish solicitor and get their view on whether you have a case for getting the marriage declared void under Irish law. Was he trying to get a residence permit for Ireland or Poland?

UK, Ireland / Marriage in Sweden, divorce in Poland (applying from Ireland?) [40]

Pakistan does have some kind of civil wedding system and also a requirement to register marriages but it also recognises unregistered religious ceremonies (Islamic ones anyway) as valid marriages so even if he had a religious ceremony, he is married under Pakistani law and therefore he was not free to contract a marriage in Ireland. So, if you could obtain some proof, you would have a chance of getting the Irish marriage declared void.

Would any of his friends know the name of the wife or any other details that they'd be prepared to give you? If there's a child the birth would surely have been registered. What city is he from? How old would the child be? If you're really determined, you could start to piece together some information and then go to a solicitor and see what the chances are. In the meantime you could get the forms for voiding a marriage from the courts and see what information you need to provide.

It might be a good idea to put the fear of God in him by bluffing that you have 'certain proof' which you have obtained and that he has a choice to agree to divorce in Poland or you will take steps to apply to the Irish courts for a voiding of the marriage on grounds of fraud and bigamy. You might be able to get a solicitor to write him a threatening letter to that effect. It may do the trick in getting him to agree to a Polish divorce. I'm just wondering do you think he's holding out because he wants you to pay him off? If either of you is earning good money he may think there's a cash bonus in this situation. Actually I'm sure that if you could afford it a good international private detective agency would be able to pull up a fair bit of information on his background including routing out the wife and child.

UK, Ireland / Marriage in Sweden, divorce in Poland (applying from Ireland?) [40]

Well that narrows her options down considerably.

Option One: Go back to Poland and apply in six months time.

Option Two: She could chance her arm as we say in Ireland and file anyway in Poland, pretending she's living there, giving her parents' address. If she just gets a family member to get the forms from the court and doesn't use a solicitor she could get away with it.They're probably not likely to ask her for proof in the form of payslips or something. The worst that can happen is that it doesn't work. They won't throw her in jail or anything so she might as well try.

Option Three: Wait it out for the next two or three years and get her divorce in Ireland.

I presume our lovely Pakistani ex had some kind of religious ceremony in Pakistan which is why there's no record? If he had a civil wedding it may well have been recorded, even in a place as chaotic as Pakistan. What's the problem with getting the proof?

Love / Polish girlfriend may be pregnant - what girls from Poland think on having a child without marriage? [54]


But that still leaves 80 per cent of us who are.


And that's good enough for me!
By the way Roz where did you get the 20 per cent figure from? That wouldn't be some class of an aul American statistic would it? Mind you don't start heading down the Polly route :D

UK, Ireland / Marriage in Sweden, divorce in Poland (applying from Ireland?) [40]

Hi there Sikander. I took a look at the following site which is maintained by the European Commission so I would take their word over that of a Polish solicitor. Clearly the solicitors you contacted don't really understand European law.

europa.eu/youreurope/citizens/family/couple/divorce-separation/index_en.htm

According to the EU:

You can file your request with the courts in the country where:

both you and your spouse are nationals.[/b]

So in their case, Poland.

The six month rule applies if she is a national of Poland and has been living there for six months. What it means basically is that if your girlfriend decided that she didn't want to live in Ireland and went back to live in Poland, she would have to wait six months before applying for a Polish divorce. But, if she continues to live in Ireland, she can apply for a Polish divorce on the basis that both she and her husband are Polish nationals. Hope that makes sense.

Read the link in full anyway and you'll see it for yourself. If you feel you need to consult a solicitor you'd be better off using an Irish one as they are more accustomed to dealing with EU law than Polish solicitors, having been in the EU so much longer. You could also try a Polish solicitor based in Dublin as they'd be likely to have experience in these matters.

UK, Ireland / Marriage in Sweden, divorce in Poland (applying from Ireland?) [40]


How could that be? Was it a civil wedding or a church wedding? If it was a civil wedding there should be a record of it. Then she could simply have his subsequent marriage to her declared null and void. She could get that done in Ireland.


Yes she can apply for a divorce in a country where she is domiciled. Domiciled is not the same thing as living in. As she's Polish she should be able to apply.

Love / Polish girlfriend may be pregnant - what girls from Poland think on having a child without marriage? [54]


But that's a rarity Maf. Most women do not choose to get pregnant by men with whom they do not forsee a relationship whilst simultaneously deciding to trick another man whom they earmark as the provider. You'd hardly argue that it's a common practice.


Now, Hollywood is an open asylum. You don't really expect anyone there to behave normally do you? It attracts the worst kind of people who are calculating and mercenary in the extreme. I've no doubt that many of the women who pursue celebrities do so with the intention of having a child by that man in order to secure their own financial future.


Normal women would abhor such practices. I don't consider that normal behaviour at all. There's no way one can say that it is. It deviates from the norm considerably.

The bottom line Maf is that if you meet a nice girl :) she's very likely to be exactly what she appears to be and if you've been together a couple of years and she tells you she's pregnant, it's more likely than not that it's yours. Most men are the fathers of the children living in their homes and calling them Daddy and that is a fact. Anyway we could go on about this until we're green in the face and still hold different views. But hey, thanks for sharing your unique world view. Careful now, down with that sort of thing (ie women passing off other mens' babies as somebody elses and that type of thing etc)

Love / Polish girlfriend may be pregnant - what girls from Poland think on having a child without marriage? [54]

Of course it's not in human nature to be monogamous but it's in the best interests of survival of our species for the female to mate with a male who can support her through pregnancy and weaning of her offspring beyond infancy. In the natural order of things, that would be a few years as I'm quite certain that 'early' woman continued to feed her child with breast milk for a few years as it was an easily available source of nourishment when other food was scarce. Women for that reason tend to settle more readily with a single partner who appears to fit the bill, ie physically healthy, able to impregnate her and able to provide thereafter. At some point her primitive self may see another male who appears to be a better option so off she goes.

The male on the other hand is compelled by the forces of nature to mate with as many females as possible at any time, in order to ensure the survival of our species. It's not the best design because it means that in theory one male equals many pregnant females for whom he cannot provide, thus the phenomenon of the female needing to find a male to be provider for her and the young, regardless of whether it's his or not.

Our society has advanced rapidly in terms of science and technology but our natures remain very primitive and haven't in any way caught up with our other advances. We're all still very much in the cave in our deepest selves and our behaviours often reflect that.

However, I do think that monogamy also arises not just from the need to create family units for survival, but because humans have a need for companionship and emotional closeness, ie love. We also have a need for pure fun, we have that playful side and if we meet another person whose company we actively enjoy and who meets that need, we tend to bond with them.

Love / Polish girlfriend may be pregnant - what girls from Poland think on having a child without marriage? [54]


Very wise with those attitudes. Anyway, quite frankly dear I don't think you need to worry about getting many offers if that's an example of your charms. And you've always seemed to be one of the more normal people on this forum, but scratch the surface and oh what lurks beneath, woe is me. I suppose we all have our 'issues' but really, there's a limit. Now, I've hunted high and low for mine but I appear to have mislaid them somewhere :))

Have you considered having the snips? It's probably the best course of action just in case some crazed female gets a look in your Swiss deposit account book and goes into action on you.

UK, Ireland / Marriage in Sweden, divorce in Poland (applying from Ireland?) [40]

She should consider applying in Ireland. Ireland's divorce laws and legal system are far more straightforward and inexpensive. Also her husband is less likely to contest the divorce if it's going to go through the Irish courts as he will feel less confident than he would on his home turf in Poland.

With the situation you describe, they will grant the divorce anyway even if he contests it. The only stumbling block is the five year thing, that is, you need to be living apart for a total of four years out of the previous five. If her husband can demonstrate that they were living together and that he objects on those grounds, she can simply say that they were living under the same roof but the marriage had ended and that she stayed there because she couldn't afford to move out.

Q. How do I prove that I am Separated for four years ?

You will be required to complete a document called the "Family Law Civil Bill" in which you will be required to state the date you were married and the length of time you and your spouse have been living apart. You will be asked under Oath in Court to verify this information.

So basically if she's prepared to lie about it........however, the court could ask to see evidence that there were two separate households within the same house, ie separate bills but most couples don't go that far so there's a good chance that the court will accept her word. It's worth a try anyway. They have no interest in trying to force unhappy couples (especially when they're not even Irish!) to stay together where there are no children involved. She's been living with another man for two years so there is clearly very little prospect of reconcilliation.

She doesn't even need a solicitor for an Irish divorce. With no kids or property involved, it's very simple, a few forms to fill and get notarised, won't cost her more than a couple of hundred euros. All the forms are here:

courts.ie/Courts.ie/Library3.nsf/PageCurrent/641DC55CB065344F80257FB5003E11E1?opendocument&l=en

Love / Polish girlfriend may be pregnant - what girls from Poland think on having a child without marriage? [54]


In the case of a married couple they are jointly supporting that child and in many cases the woman puts in more resources than the man as she is usually the child's primary caregiver and generally works outside the home contributing financially, whilst also doing most of the housework, shopping, cooking etc. Your view is a very cynical one Maf and not shared by most married couples or parents.


I think the average guy would be bewildered and somewhat unsettled by his wife insisting that she wants to prove he's the father of their child. It would be considered very odd behaviour.

Love / Polish girlfriend may be pregnant - what girls from Poland think on having a child without marriage? [54]

I was referring to the idea that a husband would ask his wife to prove that he's the father of her baby. I stand by the remark that it's extremely depresssing. I also think it's depressing for a couple who've been in a long term relationship for a few years and who consider themselves to be happy together.

I've seen relationships where the couple obviously have issues and there have been infidelities in the past on one or both sides, so I could understand it in that case but I think that paternity tests becoming the social norm is not a desirable thing.

However, in a case where a woman is seeking child support, then yes, I think she should have to prove that the man is the father of her child. That should be a legal requirement.

Love / Polish girlfriend may be pregnant - what girls from Poland think on having a child without marriage? [54]


I'm sure hospitals provide blankets for births :)

Anyway, that doesn't really answer the question but it sounds as though you'd like to ask your wife but might stop short of actually doing so - wise man. I must say it's rather depressing. Must be your German blood that makes you so suspicous and officious! 'Darlink, I em so srilled about zis baby but I must ensure zat it is of my blut stock. You vill of course understend zis requirement and zen after test results are confirmed, ve vill rejoice from sree sirty on Friday evening till seven ze following morning'.

Love / Polish girlfriend may be pregnant - what girls from Poland think on having a child without marriage? [54]


Maf, are you serious?? Would you ask your wife to take a paternity test if she was pregnant?

Real Estate / Is our Landlord in Poland trying to scam us? [16]


Certainly sounds like it.


In fairness, you should have put it back as it was before you distmantled it. You're responsible for leaving a place in the condition it was when you moved in. It's up to her if she wants to replace it. Get a price for a similar one.


You're only obliged to replace it with one of similar value. Check out the price of a similar one.



Did you inform the landlord at the time? If not, then for future reference it's best to let the landlord know immediately in writing so that you can sort it out at the time and avoid this kind of confusion in the future. She can claim that as you continued to use it in a broken state, it's now damaged beyond repair.Maybe the bed is repairable and maybe not. She's saying 1,100. Ok, so with the other items I've already mentioned, that probably doesn't come to more than 1,500 to 2,000 in total leaving her 3,500 or 4,000 for repainting the two bedrooms..........

For the other matters, tell her in no uncertain terms to get stuffed. Put the things you agree to on paper, talk to her on the phone or in person about the other things and read her the riot act. You have to be very forceful, do a bit of shouting, waving arms etc. It's awful and not the way I'd choose to conduct myself, but I'm afraid that's only thing Polish people respond to in these situations. They will walk all over you otherwise. If you're a guy though, stand well back from her while you're shouting so that you don't appear as if you're physically threatening her! Shout in English if you want to and don't worry about whether she understands. As other posters mentioned, you probably will have to settle for not getting a penny of your deposit back but she won't take things any further. Chalk it up to experience and learn a costly lesson from it.

For future reference, always take photos when you move into a property showing condition of paintwork, furniture etc. Then take more photos when you move out to show the condition you left it in. Do without your posters as they're a b*stard to get off without at least leaving marks on the wall. If you feel you must have them, buy cheap frames in IKEA and lean them against the wall. It looks quite nice and arty :)

Clean the place thoroughly before you go.
Leave everything as you found it. If you've moved furniture around, taken down pictures or curtains, whatever, put it back as it was.

Law / Getting Divorced with a Polish National [8]

Forget Poland. You most certainly will not get a fair deal from a Polish court. The spousal maintenance thing in Poland states that if you Dan admit fault, then you can in theory be obliged to support your ex-wife literally for the rest of her life, or until she remarries.

Can't see the point of getting a Thai divorce, complicating matters unnecessarily I would say. Your best option is the UK as you both live there and their laws are on the whole pretty fair. You could also consider Sweden. This site might be helpful to you. Just be sure that you don't sign anything admitting fault to a Polish court.

kingsleynapley.co.uk/news-and-events/blogs/family-law-blog/international-divorce-do-you-need-to-divorce-in-the-same-country-you-were-married

Law / Polish citizen moving back from USA to the EU (Ireland or Netherlands) with American partner [31]

Oh, she does sound as daft as a brush I agree (sorry Klaudia but you do, especially being so cocky about not needing to speak any Dutch). Yes, a capable, competent person would know how to find out about health insurance without visiting a forum such as this. Just google 'health system Netherlands' and the same for Ireland and there's everything at your fingertips.

iamexpat.nl/expat-page/healthcare/dutch-healthcare-system-netherlands

But there's no need for us to get ourselves into a lather over her hazy plans. Now if she'd asked for advice that would be a different matter. Then we could indeed fall upon her like ravenous wolves and tear her to shreds, poor innocent lamb that she is :))

Work / Senior system administrator in Wroclaw - is 7500 OK? [29]


In Warsaw they're still building new apartments as small as 16 square metres. Beggars belief doesn't it?

Law / Polish citizen moving back from USA to the EU (Ireland or Netherlands) with American partner [31]



All she asked about was health insurance.

Life / Who is poor in Poland? [720]


Yes dear, but that would require a bit of effort, doing one's own research, not very popular with many and also wouldn't have any trolling possibilites :))

News / Petru wants Tadeusz Mazowiecki monument in Warsaw [25]


Nothing in my opinion but Polly has the idea that Indian food is loaded with it and refers to curries as 'turmeric tainted'. Many Indian recipes don't use turmeric at all.


Tylko cztery złotych kochanie! Missus Clever Shopper! And I'll only need to use a tiny bit of it. Relative to the amount in weight though, it is ludicrously expensive.

Now I'd better say something about Poland or this will be whisked in to off-topic before you can say 'conspiracy theory'.


Yes, that is a real problem. People still get quite worked up about events from centuries ago, let alone the war and Communism. There's no doubt that it's a terrible hindrance to the development of Poland, this pre-occupation with nursing past wrongs. I know it probably sounds trivial in comparison to the devastation of Warsaw, but look at Coventry in the UK. It was very badly hit in the blitz, most of their historic city centre destroyed, three quarters of their industrial plant, and their beautiful historic Cathedral razed to the ground. It might pale in comparison to Warsaw, but not to the people of Coventry at that time. The city basically had to be rebuilt and it's not a thing of beauty any longer but the locals have moved on from what happened.

News / Petru wants Tadeusz Mazowiecki monument in Warsaw [25]

Yes indeed. But the best way to right the wrongs of the past and do justice to the dead and the heroes of past struggles, is to spend one's time, energy and money not in arguments or monuments, but in putting aside differences to make present day Poland a better place for Poles to live. Ok, I'm in the middle of making a korma so I must go - oh and before you start on about turmeric, another of your obesssions, I'm not using any in the sauce - and I've taken your advice of putting saffron in the rice, so you see now, I do listen to you sometimes.

Law / Polish citizen moving back from USA to the EU (Ireland or Netherlands) with American partner [31]

I don't see why the OP would need the assistance of lawyers in this matter. It's not a complex legal dilemma, it's very straightforward and thousands of people travel for study purposes without the assistance of lawyers. She has duel EU and American citizenship and wants to study in either Ireland or the Netherlands. Why would she need a Polish lawyer? Sounds like somebody trying to drum up business. I'd be very interested to know in what way you specifically think they could 'help' her, help her to do what exactly??

News / Petru wants Tadeusz Mazowiecki monument in Warsaw [25]

CMS am I right in thinking you're Irish?? I seem to have a vague idea that you are. Anyway, whilst I agree with you, you have to remember that Poland has only been 'independent' for less than thirty years. Now imagine the Ireland of 1950 where people could still be divided into supporters of Dev or Michael Collins, and there you go, with the difference that Poles have much longer memories than the Irish. They hold grudges, they believe in punishment, they are more confrontational as people. It's not just Communism either. Almost every day, I see an image of Hitler either on a magazine cover or on a Polish website. They find it very hard not to dwell on the past. The war ended seventy years ago but it's still looms very large. Look at WWI and see how the nations involved moved on within the seventy years after it. By 1988, WWI was part of history, the fallen not forgotten but the events very distant. But here, I feel WWII is still very strong in the nation's consciousness.

Life / Polish rock bands from the 70's and 80's. [16]

My husband loves Dzem but I'm not into them at all. I find them very derivative, as if they were searching for some sound of their own but never quite found it and a lot of their playing is pretty leaden and uninspired. But the poor old vocalist, God rest his soul, had some charisma and I know his lyrics mean a lot to many people. What I admire most about Dzem or any of those bands of that time, is that they were trying to be creative in a very conservative, repressive society that didn't exactly encourage individualism or personal freedom. The combination of Church and Communism must have been very stifling so hats off to them for what they achieved.

Law / Polish citizen moving back from USA to the EU (Ireland or Netherlands) with American partner [31]


Haven't a clue Klaudia sorry! I only know about Ireland because I'm Irish.

Also the rules change from time to time so the best thing is always to check with someone official in the country you're intending to live in. I would suggest that for Ireland you contact these people:

The Irish Council for International Students

icosirl.ie/index.html

It's really intended for non-Eu citizens but they can provide you with relevant information with your partner not being an EU citizen. That complicates your situation somewhat. Even if you get married, he doesn't have any automatic right to live in Ireland.

Also be advised Klaudia that Ireland is a very expensive country to live in and your partner may not have the right to work. If you're in Dublin the rents are very high. Bringing your kid with you will mean renting a two bed apartment. You won't get anything in central Dublin for under 1,400 euros per month and if you move further out to get lower rent, public transport is really expensive and very limited. You'd get a student discount but only about 30%. My monthly train ticket from Wicklow to Dublin was costing me 290 euros two years ago and it goes up in price every year.


But what about your son? How will he manage in school?

By the way if you go to Ireland and he's aged under eleven, he'll have to learn Irish as a subject in school, it's compulsory. It's not a big deal really, just be aware of that.

Language / SEXUAL AND PASSIONATE WORDS IN POLISH [41]


Ready for what? An emergency? 'Quickly, nurse, we're losing him, fetch the sexual banter'........

Law / Polish citizen moving back from USA to the EU (Ireland or Netherlands) with American partner [31]

Hi Klaudia. As an EU citizen living in Ireland you are not required by the government to have private health insurance. You have eligibility to public health services though there's often some cost involved and they're not entirely free, except to some people.

In Ireland access to free medical care is based on residency and your means rather than on your social insurance payments or nationality, so to give you an example, I'm Irish, but I have an average income and therefore I've never had access to free medical care for ordinary things like going to the doctor with a throat infection. The visit to the GP would cost around 50 to 60 euros and then the prescription could cost anything really depending on the medication, it could be as little as 10 or 15 euros or it could be a hundred. I never bothered with private health insurance and as a result when I had a suspected malignant growth in my throat, I had to pay 250 euros to see a specialist privately as quickly as possible. He operated within three weeks but he saw me 'publicly' so I only had to pay 75 euros for my overnight stay and nothing for the surgery or follow up care. I would probably still have had to pay that much in total and ironically maybe even more if I'd had health insurance as it generally doesn't cover all expenses but only a portion of them. It's very typical to hear people complaining about how much they had to pay despite their health insurance!

Here's a link that may help you:

citizensinformation.ie/en/health/health_system/entitlement_to_public_health_services.html

As for private health insurance, you basically just buy it from a health insurer. The level of cover depends on which plan you purchase. It will cost you around a minimum of 500 euros per year for one adult. None of the plans give you free GP visits. You get a refund of about one third of the cost of each GP visit and a portion of your prescription charges but you have to wait till the end of the insurance year to claim for them. Really most people just have voluntary health insurance in case they need hospital treatment as it means you have a choice of consultant/surgeon and you don't have to wait for treatment. If you have arthirits for example and need a knee replacement you can get it done without waiting a couple of years. However, having said that, if you got a serious, life threatening illness you will be treated promptly, just as I was, when they thought it might be cancer. So to sum up, you won't be allowed to die because you can't pay for treatment.

The main provider of private health care in Ireland is the VHI:

vhi.ie

You just apply for one of their plans.

Regarding your partner if he's living in Ireland he'll be in the same situation as you. Entitlement to health care in Ireland is not based on nationality but on residency. However, do make sure that he has the right entry visa. As an American he doesn't need a visa for a holiday but as he's planning to stay in Ireland longer, he probably needs a short stay visa. He'll also have to register with the police and get his GNIB card.

And here's a link about health care for your child:

citizensinformation.ie/en/health/health_services/children_s_health/child_health_services.html

Life / Polish rock bands from the 70's and 80's. [16]

Eric Clapton sings 'I did not shoot the deputy' Johnny, while Bob sings 'I didn't shoot no deputy'. So we're both right :))