Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]

I think the OP is interested in his legal abilities, not "feelings". And I'll be sure to tell my lawyer that his legal advice was based on "feelings" and not the law. *roll my eyes*

Love / Do Irish / British guys like Polish girls? [138]

rozumiemnic, I don't know what to say to that. Welcome to the EU. Not working out for you the way you all wanted, eh?

Love / Do Irish / British guys like Polish girls? [138]


If my "giving it back" meant that it went to them and I would move elsewhere, gladly. But it wouldn't, would it?

Btw, don't worry, you won't end up like "the red man". No army holding the Bible or other religious doctrine and smallpox laden blankets is invading England. There are no armed men walking en masse throughout England, planting their flags and saying "this land is now mine".

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]

I think so. Like I said, if your intentions are true and there was no abuse, and you have no problems allowing her to move back to Poland with the child, I think the classes might be the fresh start you both need to be good parents to the child. Not that you both weren't before, but it never hurts to have a fresh start.

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]

If I understand the laws correctly, if you establish parentage and go through court for your rights, she will be required to take the classes as well.

Love / Do Irish / British guys like Polish girls? [138]


I'm an immigrant. So, I did. And French. And even though it terrifies me to hear it, I understand some German. But when I first moved to the US, we didn't speak English. Nobody who is a political refugee goes to school in their birth country to learn the language of a country that they didn't think they would be moving to, until they do. That's what you learn the "lingo", as you put it. I assume anyone who thinks otherwise is not an immigrant and has no idea what their immigrant ancestors went through. Unless, of course, you count the English to came to North America, stole the land from the natives and forced their own language to be "the lingo". And now are mad because Spanish is popular in the US as well.

Btw, I watched the video "My Tram Experience" just now. Absolutely shameful behaviour for a mother, cursing like that in front of her child and causing distress to him because he's hearing yelling and becoming confused and scared. All the while, dear "mummy" obviously sounds drunk. I have to admit, I don't know how that would have ended in the US. Probably would have ended up in a physical altercation.

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]

I'll be honest, my previous post wasn't entirely clear, I'll admit that. Apologies. I'm not sure what to suggest to you but parenting classes are always a great place to start, particularly those tailored toward parents who are not together in a relationship. Those types of classes should be able to offer ways to speak to each other in a way to avoid further conflict, parenting techniques that can help address issues of the child feeling in the middle or abandoned, perhaps even some sessions on addressing one's one issues from the past so that one can begin a fresh start with a new perspective and greater amount of tools-the biggest in parenting being communication. Also, if you are able to establish parentage, you would be required most likely to both take parenting classes anyway.

Love / Do Irish / British guys like Polish girls? [138]


So are white Americans. But, sadly, some of them are xenophobes. Or racist. And they love to use the phrase "There you go, throwing out the race card". But, the thing is, if someone perceives they are being discriminated against, then most likely they are.

It's idiotic to expect people to wear a badge saying "I speak English" in... England, where the English language is the ancestral language. It's like putting up a sign on the McDonald's counter "This counter is not for sitting on, it's for food to be given to customers". Pointless, waste of time and money. I'm sure the cashier was speaking English when your friend was there, so why in the world would she need a badge that says that? Again, the badge was given to the cashier to wear per the request of management, we can very safely assume. So, why ridicule her in front of her? And why whisper? Let's address that. Whispering an insult about someone in front of them is rude. Your friend was rude. I didn't start the "xenophobe" thing. I call it like I see it. If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, well, then it must be a duck. A grown person acts like a whispering 9 year old xenophone who lacks manners and basic business knowledge, well, that's what they are. I'm sorry, but it's just plain out rude. I, as a customer, would have also said that to your friend, the fellow customer. It's rude.

Love / Do Irish / British guys like Polish girls? [138]


Is this in a video somewhere? To anyone with some sense, the badge means that, in addition to her speaking English, she also speaks Polish. It's just a bonus, like an additional tool for those who might not speak English and require help in Polish. Well, that makes sense to anyone but your friend, who frankly I would have taken to be rude as well. Not because I'm Polish. But because, if that badge were "I speak Spanish" or french, etc., I have the common sense to know what that badge is for and that were someone to say what your friend did, they would frankly appear to be xenophobic. And I wouldn't doubt that the cashier got to the breaking point with other such comments.

Oh, and just so you and your friend understand more clearly about the badge, it was extremely probable that the badge was given to her by the management to wear. In other words, it was part of her job. Not some personal policy of her own to go around wearing it, but as part of the policy of a non-xenophobic company.

Btw, a quiet comment that someone else hears and which offends them is just as rude as a comment spoken aloud with the intention of being heard by others. There's nothing polite about whispering insults about others. Any good mama would teach her child that it's rude to whisper about someone in front of them.

The cashier did not call her a nasty name, she just pointed out a xenophobe.

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]

The abandonment I brought up was regarding perhaps your or your ex's issues with your own fathers. It could be that, since she was raised in a single mother household, that it is difficult for her to understand and handle a family unit with the father present. Something to think about, it could help you perhaps on your end when interacting with her for the sake of the child. I never assumed you abandoned the child. If your intent is sincere and truly in the best interest of the child, then I really do wish you luck. Of course, like previously mentioned, your ex isn't here.

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]

No, I'm saying that if the father abandoned the home, of course the kid and mother would be unhappy. But if he's abusive or using his parentage to hold her in a country where she is very unhappy (which is essentially holding her hostage), then absolutely he shouldn't do that. If, however, it's just that things didn't work out and she acknowledges legally that he's the father and has no issues with visitation, then great for everyone involved and it should be worked out amicably for the child's best interest.

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]

I can understand where you are coming from. My husband is from a broken home & my own parents divorced when I was a teenager. However, the consequences of our own relationship, while affected by that, is different. My husband won't correct what he needs to in order for our relationship to succeed and smothers me with his control, while he does not want to have his kids have divorced parents. Myself, I don't want my kids to be unhappy or myself to be unhappy. Nor controlled, manipulated, whathaveyou. Though, I recognize something that my husband doesn't: A disagreement is not a "fight". It's hard for relationships to succeed. Especially when the parents are from different backgrounds and hold different ideals.

Regarding your situation, I don't see how the courts can force her to acknowledge you as the legal father, as DNA testing is not considered to be the definition of a father in the UK, from what I see. And, to give further thought to this, a child who's mother felt abandoned by her partner of course will not be happy. But a mother who is forced to stay because of a partner she doesn't want to be with, that's just as bad. Think about whether your father and your ex's father abandoned the home, versus the mothers wanting the relationships to end with them. If they abandoned, well, of course, the children would be unhappy as would the mother, which would continue to feed the atmosphere of unhappiness. But if the fathers kept hanging around, repeatedly exposing the children to an abusive environment, that's just plain wrong. Which is why the US laws don't make sense. They assume the fathers abandon, which is why the father should have rights. But, often times, the relationship being volatile and fraught with abuse has absolutely no positive impact on the child and continued interaction with a pos father like that is absolutely not in the best of intentions for the child. It's for the betterment of the wealthy pos fathers who wrote the laws in order to have control.

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]

I have to say, though, that it is easier for a child to adapt to living condition changes, such as moving to another country, etc. than it is for an adult. Also, the most important thing for a child's well-being is a happy mother. I cannot stress that enough. A father, sure, that's great. Staying where they were born, sure, that's great. But if the child's mother is not happy, none of those things matter. That's just how it goes. Perhaps she hates living in the UK? Perhaps when she visited Poland, she realized what she was missing, what her child was missing, where her happiness and heart belonged? In the end, like I said, unless she wants to acknowledge you legally as the father, it looks like you have no rights in this matter. As an unhappy mother as well (not unhappy that I have children, mind you, far from it!), I can tell you I envy her situation.

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]

I'm glad you could read that and not assume negativity.

Like I said, I'm unfamiliar with UK laws. But in the US, a mother cannot flee an abusive relationship with her kids, she has to prove without a doubt the extent of abuse and the man still gets visitation. If you are an abuser, why you should have the right to continue to see the people who you abused is beyond me. It comes down to criminals having rights and children having none.

I would suggest looking deeply and objectively about your relationship with the mother. Also, were you there for the birth? Sometimes, relationships crumble because we don't view it from the perspective of the other person. Sometimes, it's the other person's fault. We don't know. She's not here to tell us her side. And after all, in the end, it's "three sides to every story: his side, her side and then the truth".

Whatever you do, I wish the child good luck because as a mama, to me that's what should matter most.

alternativefamilylaw.co.uk/en/children/parental-responsibility.htm

I don't know how accurate this is regarding UK laws, but if it's correct, unless she fills out a form at court with you consenting to you being the father, you are not and cannot become the father and force any decisions about the child. As it should be. Sorry, but otherwise, any psychopath could claim to be the father and force a woman and child into a dangerous and abusive situation. In the US, of course, it's different. And I don't feel like discussing US law anymore because it just frustrates me to no end.

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]



Idk about UK laws, but in the US, the laws favor the man. Though it's subtle. A mother can't cut ties with an abusive spouse or partner completely, he always has rights to visitation and to block her from moving to a better place with the kids, assuming she's lucky to have $ and to get full custody. And she can't just take the kids and run away from an abusive situation, that's called "kidnapping". Oh, but if she stays, she's labeled a "bad mother" by society. Since learning the US laws, I fully sympathize with women on this matter. I doubt the UK laws are much different.

If you are "offering" her child support and she is turning it down, I assume you are being a good father and putting the money into a bank account for the child in the future, right? Of course you are. Because if you are going to take this court, that's what they'll have you do anyway.

Also, if she has no family or support system in the UK where she is and where you want the child to be, that's not really fair to her or the child. The child first learns love and all other things from the mother, then the mother's relationship with the father, then the child learns from the father. It's been studied for years the intricacies of a child's psyche, and even though it hurts mens' pride, that's what male and female psychologists have found. What is it about the child moving to Poland that bothers you, exactly?

Genealogy / Being ashamed of Polish ancestry? [156]


Try, they moved to a country which made it clear that being from Poland was a horrible sin. And, if you wanted to eat and have a roof over your head, the last thing you needed was to stand up for principles like your old country's language and history when you've already gotten sick of your loved ones dying. AND you are homesick. AND you probably suffer from PTSD. May I ask, are you an immigrant? I assume not. You would know what an immigrant goes through. Especially one moving to the USA. Especially during that time.

Travel / Traveling within Poland into my destination city - Lublin (from Warsaw airport) [43]

Like I said, I might be wrong how much I paid the last 2 times, I just can't recall but for reason 70 zloty comes to mind. It might have been less.

Travel / Poland in photo riddles [3134]

One of my Ciocias has one pretty similar on her property and she said it was a root cellar (piwnica) that was older than her Babcia :) It faced the general direction of South to let in light.

Travel / Poland in photo riddles [3134]

I'm going to say this is a root cellar, assuming it's doorway is pointing South. The reason it would be outside the modern fence line would be because properties used to extend all the way to the road.

Btw, I'm curious. Where was this taken? :) Similar to this one and many others...

Travel / Traveling within Poland into my destination city - Lublin (from Warsaw airport) [43]


I've done it plenty of times in the past few years alone as a woman with an American accent without issue. Make sure you get a taxi that is in line out front and that has cab cpmany markings and a meter. Look for anything suspicious (like you would anywhere you travel, I would think that's obvious but to some it isn't). If the vast majority of the taxis are from the same company and look the same way, roughly, and one doesn't, you can go with one that looks like the rest of them, as one example of safety precautions. Again, I say this as a woman who does the same sort of safety precautions irregardless of country of travel, not because it's Poland.


Exactly.

If I recall, the last time I took the taxi from the train station to the airport in Warsaw, it cost me about 70 zloty, but I can't recall offhand. If I was going with a friend, I would have taken the autobus but alone, definitely a taxi, as I would in any country I would travel to.

USA, Canada / CLEVELAND'S SLAVIC VILLAGE? Old Polish neighbourhood. [18]

I'm sure the show "Hot in Cleveland" isn't helping since some of the characters play Polish-Americans (which, unless they said "Poland' often, I would think they were from somewhere else entirely) and act trashy, stereotypical, make jokes about Poland, are nasty to others, etc.

Travel / Warsaw, Wroclaw, Poznan, Gdansk and Krakow - Five Polish Cities in Google Street View [17]

It's very exciting news. The kids and I have already gone "walking" around Wroclaw today and will check out more this weekend.

News / Anti-Polish propaganda (proposed change to Polish property restitution laws) [21]

Qualifications for today's competition in Kuopio won Frenchman Emmanuel Chedal (126 m). Adam Malysz (125) took third place.

Unrelated link with an example of Polish language with the word "pogrom" being used in a sentence discussing sports, a particular player being the leader, victory, etc. Also checked with family and they said that pogrom in POLISH does mean invincible leader, to have victory over others. That the Russian language pogrom is not the same but that because the Russian Pogroms are in most people's minds when they hear that word, irregardless of what language they speak, that is what is associated with that word. Makes sense. There are countless words in various languages with different meanings for each language but which are spelled and/or pronounced the same.

Work / Salary expectations in Poland [373]

I'm just saying that in my family, they are all living in the conditions I stated above. Of course that isn't all Poles. Just like it isn't all Americans (of which around 50% live in poverty or low income). All of my family completed college and live in large cities, for example. Or at least completed college in a major city and moved to a small town to provide a service there. All of Poland isn't so dismal and gray and working at Biedronka, you know.

Work / Salary expectations in Poland [373]

What do you mean by "international preschool", to be completely clear for everyone? Also, that sounds like everyone in my very large Polish family, they also all own their property (or are making mortgage payments), dress nicer than me, the "American" in the family. All in all, that just sounds like a Polish family to me. It's enough money for that, what you are being offered. It's enough money for American living standards as well, which is more expensive.

Language / A few sentences I should learn before my wife gives birth [14]

Ha! I told my husband that if he was going to feel faint while I was in labour (and therefore doing all the work and suffering), that I would throw him out of the labour room. He didn't, luckily for his welfare.

Language / A few sentences I should learn before my wife gives birth [14]

I'm sure nothing will go wrong. I would strongly suggest getting an interpreter or Polish speaking family friend to be there with you. I don't know what words you would need to know since I've never experienced issues with my labors and haven't had any friends or family experience any (I know, we are lucky). Also, you can be in the labor room in many hospitals now. Good luck to your wife and new child!

Work / Salary expectations in Poland [373]

That converts to 3543.1330 USD as of this moment.

Personally, I could live quite well on that in Wroclaw or anywhere and have plenty of extra money. With 2 kids. But I don't know your lifestyle.


What is your definition of above average? Given that unless you make $300,000USD/year in the US, you are considered to be making average or below average. Average versus above average are vague terms.

Genealogy / Being ashamed of Polish ancestry? [156]


I suggest a new thread. It would be an interesting one.

Genealogy / Being ashamed of Polish ancestry? [156]


I'll have to check that out. I have family from the Bialystok area, several generations worth of history there, and they are die-hard Poles. Would be interesting to see further if their particular status made a difference compared to the general populace of Poles there. Some of those ancestors have military service history as well, which nobody knows who was the first to serve in the army on that side, so it goes back pretty far. Something for me to research.