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Posts by skysoulmate  

Joined: 10 Jan 2010 / Male ♂
Last Post: 15 Feb 2019
Threads: Total: 13 / In This Archive: 13
Posts: Total: 1250 / In This Archive: 956
From: US
Speaks Polish?: Yes, but kiepsko :)
Interests: aviation, gliders, scuba diving, travel

Displayed posts: 969 / page 29 of 33
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skysoulmate   
6 Mar 2010
Love / Long-distance attraction. I am attracted to a Polish guy. [42]

When I say exception, i refer to skysoulmate's note earlier that there are 2 more races in Asia who do smile more than the rest of the asians mentioned above :)

Actually you confirmed what I said earlier... Did you notice which two Asian nationalities I exempted from my pseudo-scientific findings? ;)

That's really sweet to hear. I feel the same way too, after having traveled to different places in asia, north america and europe for work. The food choices, beliefs, cultural differences fascinate me more and more. Traveling indeed made me appreciate the differences in each individual!

Agree, traveling ROCKS!

Though, when it comes to falling for someone... i'm just back to basics :) I guess I've spent too much time in work that now, i sound so naive in this matter and i had to post it up! :)

Totally understand. By the way to answer another of your questions - how would I feel if I found out someone created an online thread about me? I'd be flattered without a doubt.

Good luck!

-----------

thankfully most men take the initiative..

Thankfully some women do too! ;)

Promise to keep us posted..obviously not in any great detail..

Agree! Also, I don't mind great details... LOL

...I was born in the Philippines. And have lived in Singapore and Canada for the past decade now. :) Though people in Singapore do not smile a lot, it's a good place to work especially in IT and banking industries :)

Love the Philippines, beautiful and very friendly people. We usually fly into Manila and use Clark as our alternate.

Singapore, ah, Temasek, the Garden City is my favorite spot in Asia. I visualize it as the best of Asia, Europe and America all put in one spot. We usually stay at the Pan Pacific and I love just hanging out there. Many Europeans live there too. Last time we were there I hung out with a couple of Finnish nurses (or maybe even doctors, I couldn't figure out their titles) who'd been working there for some 3 years and they loved it.
skysoulmate   
5 Mar 2010
Love / Long-distance attraction. I am attracted to a Polish guy. [42]

Well, there've been times I wanted to call but didn't dare to... Big Chicken that I can be sometimes... :(

One of my close friends is Chinese (Hong konger) and his wife is English and thier kids are out of this world..their middle (little girl) they call Boo (nick name) becaus she looks like Boo off monsters Inc!

Monsters Boo, like her?

BOO

...but that's good, isn't it? She looks great to me. Maybe I misunderstood your post...
skysoulmate   
5 Mar 2010
Love / Long-distance attraction. I am attracted to a Polish guy. [42]

...Yeah, thats why women get called stalkers too..cause they're really good at hiding their emotions :D

You're right; I'm still hoping for this "Man to Woman" and Woman to Man" dictionary. ;)

Asia? This is going to sound awful, but I know of no Polish guys (albeit limited) who find asian - Pakisanti/Indian women attractive

It does sound sort of awful but I always appreciate honesty.

I think Polish men (and women) are not as used to other cultures yet. This is not a criticism, just an observation. Americans often get based overseas when in the military so their exposure to Asian (and other) cultures is just much wider.

I have numerous friends who've met their loved ones overseas. Even some lady friends. Personally I can find beauty in each and every race. I'm probably more attracted to personalities than types of beauties per se but yes I've definitely seen some beautiful Indian women. I have never been to Pakistan but have met a nurse practitioner here in the States who's of Pakistani origin and in my view she's gorgeous.

My best friend married a Japanese lady (who was raised in Brasil LOL) and their two daughters must be the prettiest children I've ever seen - to me they look like mini-versions of Angelina Jolie (yes, I'm an aficionado of her looks ;)

I don't very often endorse the French but I wholeheartedly support their "Vive la différence" outlook on life.
skysoulmate   
5 Mar 2010
Love / Long-distance attraction. I am attracted to a Polish guy. [42]

No, not really but I guess I always felt women were better at hiding their emotions in that aspect...

I missed this comment in my earlier reply.

I was born in Poland, raised in Sweden and Norway and have lived in the US for 18 years or so... I travel for a living and usually spend 2 weeks out of each month in Asia usually traveling through a plethora of countries during that time.

I must say your comment surprised me somewhat. In my view, Americans (and here I mean North Americans, US and Canada) smile the most although the Southerners in the US even more so than others - I love it!

Europeans in general smile less, they seem to value "looking professional" maybe? Asians however smile the least of any culture I've been exposed to.

I'd say Philipinos might be the exception to the rule but whether in Red China, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Japan, Korea, Singapore, Malaysia, Indonesia, India, etc... They just don't smile a whole lot. Well, Thailand is probably the other exception to the rule.

I always venture outside the touristy areas and go to places locals use to get the feel of the "real" country so my perception is not based on fake "let's be nice to the tourists" smiles. One of my favorite things is to just sit in a cafe somewhere, or a tiny dine-in and observe the locals (without staring) and see with my own eyes how they all interact with each other. Often it's better than going to a movie theater. LOL

Note this is not an argument for what's better? Neither am I saying people are this or people are that - it's just my very unscientific observation I've collected over the years and I bring it up because I was surprised to hear an Asian lady make a comment that a European man didn't smile as much as she'd have expected him to do, that's all. ;)
skysoulmate   
5 Mar 2010
Love / Long-distance attraction. I am attracted to a Polish guy. [42]

I must say it's slightly amusing for me to see that women too go through the very same anxieties as we do when it comes to falling for someone...

... the nymph screen name was derived from the ancient myth, not the modern connotation :)

Yeah, I actually remembered that, I love ancient mythologies, be it Greek, Roman or Nordic... However, please let me stick to my, more modern interpretation of the meaning of the word... It's more appealing to me. :)

thanks for the advise! I'll update u guys!

You're welcome and please do...

---------

...I was too shy to show or even talk to him about how i felt when we were still together in the program...

Well, I feel the same way you do although I'm a man. Screw traditions and create your own.

...The anticipation to chat with him is worst that the actual chattin'.... it makes me always wonder... urghh.. i just cant stop thinking...

Unfortunate, you won't know until you both have talked to each other... IF you have to you can always email him a link to this forum conversation and let him know, hey this is about you - I was too shy to say it upfront, let me know what you think.

Additional question: Would the guy be pissed if a woman who, out of nowhere, starts to send him short messages, like, "Have a great day..

Additional reply - would you be pissed if a guy was pissed at you for doing the very same? I bet not, why would you? Because someone shows interest in you? STOP thinking what a guy would think and think of what you would think. Men and women are more similar than you think, if you think you'd like something chances are he would do. If not, oh well, at least you tried.

Wow, i sound soooo eager, when I can only talk to him 2 weeks from now...

You don't sound too eager, you sound like a lady falling for a man. Remember that you can send SMS via skype, often but not always it's cheaper that way.
skysoulmate   
5 Mar 2010
Love / Long-distance attraction. I am attracted to a Polish guy. [42]

If you use skype make sure you both use a camera; I use skype 5-7 times a week as I travel for a living and I noticed that eye contact - not staring but being able to see facial expressions, etc really makes a difference in getting close to someone.

PS. Also, tell him you're a nympho (your screen name ;) and that alone might be enough to catch his attention. LOL

Seriously though, don't think of his as being a Polish man, think of him as being a man and unfortunatel for you - we are all different. Do what feels right and what your gut tells you. Personally I like forward women (my ex-wife proposed to me :). Her being an ex-wife was my screw up, I still cherish the memory of her proposing to me. Of course by then we had known eachother for some time.

So first get to know eachother, if one subject feels slow, move on to something else, etc. Make him want to hear from you or him wanting to skype/email you again. Ultimately, be yourself because if he falls for someone who pretends to be someone else - that relationship probably won't last.

So put on a nice black dress (just my favorite, you do what you like of course) and talk and smile a lot and hope for the best.

Don't worry about whether he's open to Asian women - you either fall for someone or you don't. Remember, no matter where a woman was born and raised - she is still from Venus. :)

Wish y'all the best!
skysoulmate   
4 Mar 2010
Life / I'm from Polish descent. CAN YOU GUYS EXPLAIN THE EU TO ME? [115]

If you, like you say, live in the US, why did you vote "no" for the Euro? What's it to you? The Euro, monstrous as it may be, is a blessing, especially for the traveller. No worries about having to change currencies, losing money in the process, etc.

Mare, as a dual citizen with some savings in Sweden and a small summer house property there I felt it affected me too. I also listened to my family's concerns. It's not that I am against the Euro, I just think it's too early to tell.

I figured Swedish Crown served Sweden well and for quite some time. The earlier version of it - Riksdaler (from German Thaler which later became Dollar in some countries;) came about in the XVs century then in late 1873 it was replaced by the Krona at the rate 1 for 1. So why change it now? In 20 years or so the Euro will have proven itself.

As a frequent traveler :) I totally agree with you on it being very convenient. However, I guess I chose the "wait and see" approach when it comes to Sweden.

That's the thing. Poland should be Polish (I have been to Poland). Not a mess like the UK or France

I thought you wanted to expand your knowledge on a specific subject? Not sure how you belittling other nations achieves that goal? You can find "mess" in ANY country if you look hard enough...
skysoulmate   
3 Mar 2010
Life / I'm from Polish descent. CAN YOU GUYS EXPLAIN THE EU TO ME? [115]

More serious answers would be appreciated. I keep on hearing about this Lisbon Treaty?

Rychlik - I live in the States so take my words with a grain of salt but the Lisbon Treaty as Tymoteusz pointed out brought the U.S.E. - United States of Europe one step closer to reality. Not there yet but getting closer.

In a nutshell, several years ago there was an attempt to create an EU constitution which would apply to all member states (sort like the US constitution). Currently there are 27 EU nations.

treehugger.com/european-union-countries-image

That attempt failed when several countries held referendums and some of them failed to win the majority of the votes. Since this is such an immense reform affecting all EU member states, ALL member states had to agree. That didn't happen.

After the initial setback the politicians came up with a new version and basically the Lisbon Treaty (which finally passed and became a law) is a watered-down version of the initial reforms.

Small countries complained because the "large" member states (Germany, France, UK, etc.) got more power now as more emphasis is placed on a member state's population. However, there are safeguards for the smaller member states.

EU is like any other large institution, gets big and bureaucratic but it has many advantages too...

It's probably too early to tell if the EU will be a success story however if you consider the original beginnings and the overall purpose of the European integration - then it's been a great success.

EU started out in 1952 as the European Coal and Steel Community (ECSC). This Coal and Steel Union was founded by six countries - France, the Netherlands, Belgium, Luxembourg, the Federal Republic of Germany and Italy . It involved cooperation on the coal and steel production of these countries, which was important to the arms industry and was a major commodity in trade between them. However, another purpose of the cooperation was to pave the way for greater European cohesion by making the countries mutually dependent on each other's coal and steel production, thereby preventing hostilities between them and ensuring durable peace in Europe.

In other words the idea was to make European countries so dependant on each other that they'd never be able to go to war with each other. So in that sense it's been a great success.

"I also hear EU skeptics predicting the collapse of the EU in the future because countries lose sovereignty."

Personally I doubt it but who knows? Maybe what you heard was a prediction of the €uro collapse due to recent turmoil with Greek finances? If so, I doubt this too.

The Euro-zone consists of 16 out of the 27 EU nations, in other words only 16 of them use the Euro. All but 2 (possibly 3) will eventually have to adopt the Euro. UK and Denmark negotiated an opt-out clause meaning the don't have to join it - ever (many economists think one day they will but who knows?).

Sweden does not have the opt-out clause but in 2003 there was a referendum where the majority of the Swedish population voted against adopting the Euro. (Full disclosure, I voted NEJ in that referendum myself ;)

Today, by keeping the Swedish Crown "floating" or not fixed against the Euro (like Denmark for example) Sweden "artificially" does not meet one of the specific Euro adoption rules and therefore does not have to (or rather may not) adopt it. In other words the Swedish politicians are circumventing the EU obligations (to join Euro) in order to follow the will of the people of Sweden who at the moment do not want the Euro.

Either way, some economists claim that it's a dangerous situation to have a "super currency" such as Euro without an actual "super state". In plain English, although the EU more and more acts like one large nation each country still follows it's own path. Since the adoption of the Euro no member state can devalue its own currency since it no longer exists - a tactic often deployed in the past by the Greek, Italian, Spanish, and many other governments. They cannot revalue or devalue their currencies since as I mentioned they do not exist (Drachma, Lira, Peseta, etc).

However, those countries keep spending money as if the ability to devalue still exist. Yet all that's left now is to cut spending and/or raise taxes - which are already high. Therefore, many economists believe that unless there's some kind of harmonization of the European economical laws one day some of those countries will face huge unemployment levels; I read in the Economist once that Greece might face a 20%+ unemployment rate unless they fix their finances.

So maybe that's the "collapse" you've heard about? Either way, in my view the stakes are too high and the EU governments will come up with a solution.

Here's one website you can check out. It has a pro-EU bias but explains some of the new rules.

europa.eu/lisbon_treaty/faq/index_en.htm

Also, Wikipedia has a good summary of the treaty: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Treaty_of_Lisbon

...But isn't there huge criticism and EU skepticism right now because countries like Poland do not want countries like Germany and France calling the shots and indirectly having influence over their futures? Are these not legitimate concerns of a country like Poland which has only been free for 20 years.
are people really that naive to think that Germany and France have Poland's interests in mind?

Yes and no. People are rightfully concerned and often I agree with them. However, at this point it's probably better to improve what's already there. Poland IS an EU member state and thus is able to reform it from inside. Not by itself of course but strong coalitions of small states have brought changes in the past and will so again.

Polish farmers are upset because now they have to compete with other European farmers and some countries subsidize farming more than others. Overall most reports I've read seem to indicate that the farming subsidies will keep decreasing and I venture to predict that many smaller farms will end up shutting down or will merge with larger, stronger farms. One core value of EU is free competition which of course will never happen as long as member states subsidize their "favorite" industry - farming.

In mid 80s when Spain and Portugal joined the EU they were considered dirt-poor yet only 10 years later their combined GDP more than tripped. It might seem strange to "invest" in another country but remember that those investments usually create jobs in the donor countries too. EU is NOT perfect and never will be but I think they seem to be doing all right...

europa.eu/abc/history/index_en.htm
skysoulmate   
3 Mar 2010
Study / Studying Swedish in Krakow [11]

???
In spoken language maybe but not all, I challalnge you to duel talk with a Bergenser! Merry torture!

Frequent traveler to Norge as my sister lives there. I was joking of course, you know, typical Swe-Nor rivalry.

Ikke om jeg fa** meg skulle ta og rive ut ba*** ut av plo***** dine!

Really? All three?

Swedish can be quite helpfull in communication with SOME Fins and most Norwegians, maybe not that much with Danes, but it can be helpful!

Used to travel to Lapua and Kuopio, Finland to see my then girlfriend's family. Both cities are in the Finnish only region but I never had any problem getting around there, they all seemed to speak some Swedish or at least to understand it.

As far as Swedish and Danish - I have a few friends working for SAS. One of them (a Swede) told me that Danes seem to understand Swedes just fine but it's more difficult the other way around. He said often you'll hear a Dane clarifying something in English and the Swede will reply in Swedish... LOL
skysoulmate   
3 Mar 2010
Love / How is the ideal girlfriend for a Polish guy? [15]

Well, is there an ideal type of guy-attitude that Wambrita girls prefer? ;)

Polish men are like all men - we are all different. Moreover, what works with one lady might not work with another; it's like tango or salsa, you try to lead because that's expected of you but do what feels right and sometimes she makes you believe you're leading even though it's really the other way around. Not sure if I'm making any sense, probably not. I'm used to that... :)

It's about feeling special and making that someone else feel very special too. Then you sort of let the heart steer you hoping for the best... Well, sometimes other parts steer us (but women aren't that much different I think).

PS. I also agree with softsong's reply above.
skysoulmate   
3 Mar 2010
News / Changing Face in Poland: Skinnhead Puts on a Skullcap [90]

...But Yated Neeman newspaper digitally changed the picture by replacing them with two men. The Shaa Tova newspaper blacked the women out.

Publishing pictures of women is viewed by many ultra-orthodox Jews as a violation of female modesty.

BB - it wasn't that long ago a Polish Microsoft ad did something similar, remember? Rasism, sexism and often just ignorance has many shapes and forms.

Microsoft in web photo racism row
news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/8221896.stm

I know very few Jews personally and even fewer ortodox. However the few I know are top notch individuals who are very intelligent and bend over backwards to be friendly and good neighbors.

What's so fascinating in this text ? Little, made up story for naive people.

What makes you say that?
skysoulmate   
2 Mar 2010
News / Changing Face in Poland: Skinnhead Puts on a Skullcap [90]

Can you imagine a Jew taking off his skullcap and becoming a skinhead

news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/6985808.stm

To me Nazis in Israel is as logical as Nazis or skinheads in Poland. Amazing what lack of education will do to peoples minds. :(

It sounds like he is just going from one extreme to another. Weak character.

You really think so? I believe it takes balls of brass to turn away from all his friends, his past identity, his biases and the hatred toward Jews to pursue his family's past. It probably made it easier on him that he took that new journey along with his wife but still...
skysoulmate   
2 Mar 2010
News / Changing Face in Poland: Skinnhead Puts on a Skullcap [90]

Not sure if this has been posted already but I just read this article and found it fascinating:

WARSAW - When Pawel looks into the mirror, he can still sometimes see a neo-Nazi skinhead staring back, the man he was before he covered his shaved head with a skullcap, traded his fascist ideology for the Torah and renounced violence and hatred in favor of God.

nytimes.com/2010/02/28/world/europe/28poland.html?pagewanted=1&em
skysoulmate   
23 Feb 2010
Study / Is there a lot of racism in Warsaw (Brazilian student's question) [83]

s spanish popular in warsaw, or is english more common to hear?

Spanish? I thought you said you were Brazilian? If so shouldn't you be asking about Portuguese? Either way, in Europe Spanish is pretty much contained to Spain (and Portuguese to Portugal). Most people who study foreign languages take English, German and French...

The racism part - I think you'll find racism everywhere one way or the other. Just be careful, stay around people you know (and if you go to school there you'll know some people before you know it) and don't let rumors and "what ifs" make the decision for you.
skysoulmate   
20 Feb 2010
Off-Topic / Is 'Russkie' offensive in English? [23]

I don't think so. Maybe it was meant to be but after all it's pretty much a Russian word that's been 'Americanized'. We all like to create names for people we consider(ed) different. I've been called Haole a few times but never take it personally... ;)

(Wikipedia)
Russki, Russkie
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_ethnic_slurs_by_ethnicity

Disparaging when used by foreigners for "Russian"[52] (actually, these are transliterations of the Russian "Русский" (in Russian pronounced: Rooskiy) for "Russian" and the spelling Russkiy is almost always in a literary context. "Russki" in Russian simply means someone who is an ethnic Russian as opposed to a minority nationality within the Russian Federation.)
skysoulmate   
19 Feb 2010
Travel / Credit / Debit Cards to use in Poland [37]

Since this is a credit and debit card thread - I'm actually not very versed in pros and cons of using them in Poland or Europe for that matter as I usually travel from the US to/from Asia.

However, I make the occasional Europe trip not to mention visiting my folks in Scandinavia every now and then. I've noticed that I seem to be getting the best currency rates when using credit cards - Master Card gives better rates than Visa (but they're very close) and it's usually the best rate of the entire 24 hour period.

From my experience the vast majority of pilots use credit cards and not debit cards while overseas. I avoid using debit cards as much as I can when overseas and stick to CC (local cash is best of course). Too many stories of friends who've had their debit cards hijacked in China in particular. Usually your bank will reimburse you promptly but it's a pain in the butt and true hassle if you're traveling for an extended time and all of a sudden your debit card is blocked.

The credit cards are better in my view as they aren't linked to your checking account, etc. and most often you can call them collect from anywhere in the world and they'll send you money via Western Union, etc. if your card gets stolen, lost, hijacked, etc. Debit cards might be a pain as the support system just isn't as great (I use Bank of America btw).

I simply pay my credit card (or cards if I use more than one) as soon as I come back from a trip not to incur any fees. Also, if I go on a longer trip (week+) I always take a Master card and a Visa card with me in case one system breaks down in a particular country...

That's my 0.03% interest on the subject... ;)

Nonsense. It even states clearly on their website that you can open an account provided you declare your residency in Poland. This isn't thes ame as having residency papers - just you have to say "yes, I live in Poland".

Maybe it's different in Poland but in Sweden marking "resident of Sweden" implies you're a legal alien or a citizen of Sweden and residing in Sweden.

I maintain my old checking and savings account and a while back wanted to switch from Nordea to Sveabank but was told by the "new" bank that if I close my old account I wouldn't be able to open a new one until I become a resident again... In fact, Sveabank looked me up and I was registered as "Swedish citizen living abroad".

Later my current bank confirmed the info. This was 2+ years ago so maybe it's changed some and again, maybe it's very different in Poland.
skysoulmate   
18 Feb 2010
Law / GDP or GDP per capita - what's more accurate number in Poland? [10]

Both measures are important but look at different aspects. Let's say you have a family of 4 with both parents working and the 2 kids in school. The parents make a total of $100k a year. That's the total "GDP" for the family. However since there are 4 "citizens" in that family their GDP per capita is only $25k per year.

GDP per capita shows more of each individual's wealth wheras the total GDP shows a country's combined wealth. I'm generalizing but it'll make it easier to understand.

You might also look into Purchasing Power Parity (PPP) as a comparison.

"PPP basis is arguably more useful when comparing differences in living standards on the whole between nations because PPP takes into account the relative cost of living and the inflation rates of different countries, rather than just a nominal gross domestic product (GDP) comparison."

(source wikipidia).

List of countries by GDP (PPP)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_GDP_(PPP)

Poland is about 20 here.

GDP (PPP) 2008 estimate
- Total $668.551 billion[3] (21st)
- Per capita $17,536[3] (50th)
GDP (nominal) 2008 estimate
- Total $527.866 billion[3] (18th)
- Per capita $13,846[3] (50th)

Source: en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poland?wasRedirected

GDP and GDP per capita comparisons might be skewed as $17k a year is not much in the US and the UK but a whole lot of money in Zimbabwe. PPP is supposed to correct it somewhat but it's far from perfect.
skysoulmate   
16 Feb 2010
Love / Tonight, I'm asking my Polish girlfriend if she'll marry me [36]

Hi all... I am 4 weeks away from flying back to Europe to propose to my girlfriend of two years. I have decided to ask her in Polish which is her native tongue. She lives in Switzerland and we both speak German but it would be a great surprise for her if I can get it out in Polish.

It's great y'all are taking it to the next level (assuming she says TAK!!! ;) - wish you both the very best and keep us posted! :)

...
skysoulmate   
4 Feb 2010
Love / English boyfriend coming to visit me in Poland [55]

...If he were my boyfriend, and if I was from a nice family, and if he was coming over for few days and arriving doing the day time- having to deal with long distance relationships is not easy- then I would take him into the hotel doing the day.

Yeah, that sounds reasonable.

Then I would take him back to my house doing the evening to meet my family, where we would spend the night. Have him sleep on my bed, where I would be sleeping on the couch, or bedroom floor, depending on your parents.

...and respectful to everyone...

Then I would finish him somewhere in the middle of the night, when everybody is asleep. In the morning, I would cook a breakfast for my family, while they get to know their potential son in law. Then we would go out again doing the day, probably back into a hotel room.
:-)

OMG! I'm falling in love all over again!!! ;)
skysoulmate   
4 Feb 2010
Real Estate / Mortgages for apartments in Poland - what currency? [9]

DMM - hope for the best but always plan for the worst.

You're quoting three different currencies. What if you decide for the Euro and find out two years later that the Pound has dropped 20% against the Euro? Could you handle that? What about 25%? ...30%?

If the answer is yes and you're willing take a chance - go for it.

However, for me a mortgage is too big of an investment to be to turning into a gambler. I'd chose the currency I'm getting paid in AND I'd make sure my loan has a fixed interest rate (no adjustable, "ballon", etc loans - fixed only).
skysoulmate   
4 Feb 2010
Love / My husband going to Poland after gotten his green card. Dreading his visit home to mom. [20]

... I guess instead of saying breaking him of his habits, I could've said teaching him that he needs to put in just as much as he expects to receive.

Fair enough, it makes more sense now.

...And his opening up more has nothing to do with me wanting to get all emotional or needing a shoulder to cry on or to just talk his ear off. ... It has everything to do with getting him to say anything at all. period.

Well, what I was trying to say was that I recognize his behavior because that's how I used to be.

Either way, good luck to you both...
skysoulmate   
3 Feb 2010
Love / What to Get my Polish Guy for Valentines Day. [77]

I am doing that.I want tog et something to say hey we are going to be together. i told him last night more about how I feel. he was happy.hopefully after I graduate college I will ask him to marry me.

Glad to hear you're doing "the lingerie thing" - always appreciated by us, guys. LOL

Sometimes simple things are the most memorable. I hope bringing up something an "ex" wife had done won't spoil your valentine's mood but my former lady took me out on a picnic in the middle of nowhere. She brought some snacks, a bottle of wine, and just the two of us. We had a great time and although it wasn't meant to be - I still remember that valentine's day.

Keep it simple and cute. That's all.
skysoulmate   
3 Feb 2010
Love / My husband going to Poland after gotten his green card. Dreading his visit home to mom. [20]

... He talks more and shares his feelings more(getting him to talk about his feelings was like pulling teeth). I have broken him of his habit of being catered to, he actually helps around the house now, where before it was my "job" to do everything...

Chelle - this is a reply from a guy's perspective so you might not like it.

It sounds like the two of you have been working on improving your communication skills, respect for each other, etc., etc. Great.

Yet you said "you've broken him of his habit..."

What the heck, really? Did he break you of your habit of not getting on your four when he needs you to?

C'mon, you want respect which is great but it's a mutual thing. The phrase you used is demeaning, at least in my view it is, but I'm sure that's not what you meant.

You worry about the 2 months he'll spend with his mom. Why? Let him enjoy that time without ruining it by your 'nagging'. You guys have your entire lives ahead of you to figure each other out.

The part about him not wanting to open up sounds very familar to me.

I too struggled with being able to open up to my now ex-wife. I'm very logical by nature and sometimes couldn't see why we'd have to talk about issues we'd already talked about in the past. You wouldn't think I had trouble with opening up based on the many posts I've made here on PF but that's how it was.

When women "talk" often it's just a way for them to share feelings, to connect, to feel close to someone. When men talk often it's to find a fix, a solution, to repair somethings that's broke. So I struggled when listening about her work-related problems because I didn't know how to fix them. Often she just wanted me to listen to her and to have a shoulder to lean on when sad. ...but I didn't get it. Many guys don't.

The irony is that I can work with pretty complicated computers and will fly an airplane from one continent to another with no problem. Yet I didn't understand those very basic, common sense facts about how men and women differ in their reasoning. I had to see a 'shrink' to figure that out.

My point is - don't assume that what's common sense to you is common sense to him - it isn't! He should of course know that running a houshold is a 50-50 deal. If he doesn't - that's laziness not ignorance. However don't expect him to be exactly the way you want him to be. If that's what you want - get a pet.

Sorry about the bluntness in my reply, and good luck to you two.
skysoulmate   
3 Feb 2010
Love / Are all Polish men Psychos? [111]

Can anyone help me suss this out, my head says I should probably ignore him til he comes begging.....but my heart is furious and slightly broken...so be gentle with your comments please!

Anioł - I have no idea who this guy is and why he acts the way he does. However, I agree with Ariel's reply below. Many guys don't like to burden their ladies with their problems, especially when the relationship is just beginning. We like to pretend that we're in charge of our lives.

To me he almost sounds like someone still getting over a past relationship? You know, a person really has to like him/herself before allowing others to like him/her... Maybe he's not there yet? Either way, good luck to you...

Are all Polish men Psychos?
PS. I'm sure you're being facetious but for someone who 's heart is broken and who needs gentle comments - your own comments aren't that gentle you know...

Happy Birthday then... :)
skysoulmate   
1 Feb 2010
USA, Canada / What do the Poles hate and love about the U.S.? [170]

Emerson - we also know you just made history by redefining the IQ Bell curve.

They had to rebase it to a much lower starting point... Good job chimp, I mean champ...