Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]


Maybe you're right but I need to forget about her now. My best plan now is to start afresh, find someone who is single and take it from there. I can't let myself start thinking that, maybe she wants to be with me instead of boyfriend or I will become too obsessed and drive myself crazy. Its over, finished. New chapter.

You forget, I am complete novice at this game and anyway that isn't how I want to operate, stealing another man's woman, no way. That seems to be the way many men work and probably I am drastically reducing the number of potential matches by taking this stance but I will take that chance. I am going to do things my way, yes, I will take on board certain pieces of advice given here but I have a strong belief in doing things the proper way. To treat others the way I would like to be treated. A naive attitude in this day and age perhaps but I am going to stick with it.


Thanks again. There is no way I'm going back to those dark days. I've been through way too much sh*t for that to happen.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]


Thanks honey bunny, I hope you are right

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]

Cheers, I'm still buzzing about doing it. I probably wouldn't be any happier even if she had said she wasn't in a long term relationship. I've got to kick on from this now and continue in a positive manner.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]


Point taken but this was not my objective on this occasion. To an experienced seducer this may have been a bad error but I had to do something to break through my paranoia. It wasn't ideal but it is a start.


You have an incredible talent for making a person feel like sh*t but I'll be damned if I'm going to feel bad on this occasion.


Thanks Lobo, there are several things I have learnt from this episode. Yes, I aim to act faster in the future and also to avoid assuming things. (To assume is to make an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me') I assumed this girl was dating this flash git and I was completely mistaken, also I assumed she was interested in me but it is just she is very friendly girl. The way things happened mean's that I survived with my dignity intact, I didn't look foolish or desparate and have come across as a nice bloke. Who knows, maybe by being friends with her will open other doors, she may have single friends.


And I thought I was Mr Analysis.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]

Lol, Ah yeas.

That's a good one Hueg.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]


But it's not the end, it's not even the beginning of the end, it is just the end of the beginning.

Lol, I've always wanted to use that quote, and it's pretty apt on this occasion.
Anyone know where it is from?

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]

One small step for man, one giant leap for kind man.

(do you see what I've done there; mankind/ kind man, I like that! lol.)

This is a momentus day for me, I've finally done it, I spoke to the girl. I am just so proud of myself, really, really pleased that I've went and gone and done it. I will try to outline what happened: In work today I held the door open for her, she smiled and said hi, I said hi back and their was an aukward pause where I probably had an opportunity to go ahead with my plan, but I had just finished eating a bag of crisps, my mouth was full, it really wasn't the ideal time. lol.

Anyway, about an hour later, I just happened to come round the corner and she was there, having a chat with another Polish girl who works in the office (I couldn't have planned this opportunity better myself) and she said dzien dobry to me, she had obviously remembered that I had spoken to her before. It was very relaxed, it helped that there was also someone there and we had a good chat for several minutes. Then the other girl left and the two of us walked down the corridor together. I know I could have avoided saying anything but I went ahead and I asked her if this other guy in the office was her boyfriend. This amused her alot and she said that she has a boyfriend of six years and they both are over here working and hope to stay for a couple of years.

So, there you go.
A weight has definately been lifted off my shoulders. You know, I totally surprised myself at the manner in which I conducted myself. I just know I came across as really great, a super, friendly person. I didn't think I had it in me. I am just so very proud of myself, I admit, I have shed some tears of happiness. Some may think this strange as this girl isn't going to be mine but I have achieved something that for a long time I thought was beyond me, it is a massive step and has given me such a boost that I can find happiness. I have found closure on this issue, I can now move on knowing I have done the right thing and behaved in such a gentlemanly way. I feel like a proper man today.

So in conclusion to this long tale, I 'fell in love with a Polish girl, found it difficult to approach her....eventually plucked up the courage to do it and have become a better person as a result.' The End.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]


I have taken you up on this kind offer. There are three separate emails I think. Thanks so much for offering to help. It means a great deal.


Oh, I'm definately interested in women all right. lol. I find it very difficult to communicate with anyone, male or female, its always been the case. I grew up in solitude for the most part so I guess I never really learned. Don't get me wrong, I had a very happy childhood, it was at school were the problems arose.


I delighted that you ask, I'm looking for all the help I can get. Every little bit is welcomed.


I haven't a clue what to say, how to keep the conversation going.etc. Only in the last couple of weeks have I discovered that people enjoyed being asked questions about themselves and that this was a great way of developing the conversation. You see, I hate being asked questions about myself so I assumed that everyone else was the same.


I will try and find a picture. Thats another thing, I hate having my photo taken, you will hardly find one of me anywhere. I think I look so ugly, I will go out of my way to avoid having one taken. I am terrified of what everyone will think but I am desparate to overcome this so I will find something.


As I mentioned above, all advice is welcomed, thank you for taking the time to help. You have hit the nail on the head. I am playing this whole episode in my mind, it is crazy, crazy, crazy. I don't know anything about this girl, we may be totally unsuitable, how could it be love. Yes, a very good point.

I need to battle these doubts and fears I have and move on. They are massive fears, built up over many years, I know if I can get over this first hurdle, each one after that will get gradually smaller. I know/understand the theory, its just putting it into practice is daunting. That first step is just so hard to take.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]


At the moment I feel that everyone is out of my league. I know in the past I have gone for unrealistic women, I think my current target is even more unrealistic. How do I know who is and isn't a realistic person to go for?

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]


I don't know. I'm guessing that I've subconsciously given women total power over me. They are the ones who can ultimately determine my life. They are the ones who reject my advances, they are the ones who can decide if I'm happy or sad. I think I have given other people way too much control over my life. Taking this power back is difficult, I feel that I am being selfish. I have always put the needs of others before my own and I'm just a bit fed up with life, the universe and everything at the moment.

Your story of how you met your husband is nice. The moral I guess is to never judge a book by its cover.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]


Agreed, a picture speaks a thousand words and a beautiful picture speaks many more.


Sounds like you are a bit of a dreamer.
The idea of fate and destiny is alot of crap if you ask me.
I believed it all for too long, that there was that special person out there just waiting and when you met, you would just know that they are the one. What utter bulls hit.

If you don't get up off you're ass and actually do something about your life and where its going then you'll never get anywhere. (By the way, this is nothing personal, I'm just having a wee rant at myself)

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]


Not really in the whole wide scheme of things but it's momumental to me at present.
Feeling a bit upset with myself today, I bottled the opportunity to talk to her this afternoon. I was all ready to do it but fear got the better of me at the very end. I'm ashamed of myself for not being man enough to do a simple thing like talking to her. I will try and gather myself and have another go tomorrow. I can see that the longer I leave it the more difficult it gets and the less likelihood of a successful outcome. I must do this, regardless of outcome in order to move on or else I'll be stuck like this forever.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]

There are probably one million reasons why she would reject me but that is not the issue. The important thing is that I try. It is a big barrier for me, like the four minute mile or walking on the moon.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]

Thanks L for asking. She hasn't been in work for the last couple of days but I start work in an hour so hopefully she will be there today.

I'm getting a better perspective of things now. I know I will be calmer talking to her. Before I got in a bit of a panic, I had rehearsed our initial conversation so many times beforehand and when things didn't go according to the plan I had envisaged, I got flustered.

That is not the case now, what will happen will happen. I will treat her like I would treat any of my friends. Before I was intimidated by a beautiful women and felt a failure if they didn't immediately agree to marry me and have my children. Ridiculous or what!

What I am basically trying to do is to get her to leave her boyfriend and go with me, but I can see the bigger picture too, she could do that and down the line leave me for someone new as well. I will try my best, thats all I can do.

Love / Why are Polish women so sexy ? [390]


Oh man, they are incredible. So, so elegant. Very easy on the eye.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]

F**k, f**k, f**k, lol.

I knew this was coming. There is no easy way round it. I will not make any promises but I will try to summon something from somewhere and do it.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]


So basically I should be cautious of falling too deeply for this girl and even with experience, things don't always work out. I understand you. Hope you find what you're looking for too.

Personally, I've either been fishing in the Dead Sea or using the wrong kind of bait.

I know this girl likes me, which is a good start. I guess I must have done something right somewhere along the line so I should give myself a pat on the back for that. The next stage is finding out if she likes me because I have been friendly and smiled when we met or whether there is more. As I've mentioned earlier, I'm a winner with either scenario but it would help to know where I stand. It can't be easy for her, living and working in a country with little of the language. I couldn't manage it. I understand how she could fall for this other guy in work, it may not be totally about the money, although its still a possiblity. I detect that she is quite lonely here and he was friendly plus he had the confidence to take it that extra step which I am working towards.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]


Thanks LC, noble I may be, but noble ain't getting the girl and it won't unless suits of armour come back into fashion!

No, Sir Lancelot here needs to change tack to enable him to rescue the girl from the nasty dragon. Its a work in progress and certain small changes I have made have pleased me and raised my self-esteem a wee bit.


I have been a bit rigid and judgemental in the past, its true.
Lobo, you're like the father I never had, lol. Full of wisdom and advice, a sort of been there, bought the t-shirt thing.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]


Yes, it has occured to me. I have a habit of putting all my eggs in one basket. Not that I believe in astrology or any of that crap but I have seen my sign described as clingy and moody which is me down to a tee.


Thanks for yet another pearl of wisdom but I don't think I'll try that approach on this occasion. This girl seems so sweet and decent, I just have this feeling she is a wonderful person and I would be happy to be her friend if that was all she was interested in. Sex isn't that high on my agenda, (this may shock many) I've waited a long time for the right person, I can wait a bit longer no problem.

I probably have quite antiquated values which many wouldn't understand in todays climate of (wham bam thank you ma'am) relationships.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]


Guilty as charged m'lord. I can't help it, I'm doing it again. This past week I felt I had succeeded in putting this girl out of my mind but today that has come crashing down and I am back to square one. She seems such a sweet and innocent girl, her boyfriend is a tool and is only after a trophy girlfriend. I want to be her friend, even if it doesn't lead to a physical relationship, I could honestly accept that. I need her in my life. I want to protect her and to warn her that she is being used.

I don't think I am strong enough mentally to see her everyday and just forget about these feelings I have for her. I need to grasp that nettle and tell her I like her and maybe offer my phone number. I will be hurt I'm sure but it doesn't look like I have the capability to move on until its done.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]

Where does it end? This type of person will never be happy, always on the lookout for something better
It is like blackjack, you got to know when to stick

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]


That's what got me too. I got this incredible vibe from her, loads of eye contact and smiling. Scrambled my brain completely. It's an edge women have over men. They never need to be alone, they have this switch they can flick and no matter what they look like, some man will be taken in by it.


I call it the penis fly trap

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]

I have to be honest and say that I am totally confused about what to do next.


I can understand the maths behind this method and how it will achieve results but I can't help feeling very cold and unromantic about becoming someone who does this.

I guess it was just me living in this delusional world and believing my soul mate was there for me and fate would bring us together, fairy tale, happy ever after stuff.


I need to take steps towards doing this. I am going to start looking for a job in the city. Before I was content with rural life and I had a bad experience last time I lived in the city. Things will be different this time and I really need to meet new people. You see the same people with country life, the women are mostly married and things are a bit stale.

Learning to dance is a good idea Lobo, it would be a massive step for me, I know I would feel incredibly self conscious and clumsy especially if I had to dance with a hot chick and probably get a boner as well, lol.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]


This is very true, its a good thing and should be welcomed.


Getting the whole picture better now, for that Southern I apologise. I was too quick to judge. It is easy to see how people can get the wrong end of the stick. Political correctness or not there are some issues where words need to be chosen carefully or people get bent out of shape.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]


Thats a horrible, xenophobic statement to make, but it seems an all too common one. I went to University in the Midlands of England where there was a large Pakistani community. I played in a seven a side football tournament with six other Pakistani's and I've never had as much fun. They are great people, very respectful if you treat them with respect. Yes, there are nasty ones, just like in any race but to generalise in such a negative way is not on. You've lost my respect.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]

Yeah, I'm doing that. I have a high jumpers physique. V tall and gangly, lean, no big muscles. I do alot of running and a bit of weights. The running helps take my mind off things and I always feel refreshed and positive after a good session.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]

Well put. I suppose I have two options. 1. I get plastic surgery 2. I work on confidence. I'm broke as well so I guess its contestant number 2 for me. But how do I improve confidence? All this rejection just drags me down and makes me hate myself again.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]

Just want to say that I'm actually feeling quite upbeat and chirpy these last couple of days. I was dark and moody over the weekend but have lightened up considerably. The passage above does come across as rather morose, but I was just trying to paint a picture of how I sometimes feel.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]


I know I'm being neurotic and superficial once again but I sort of understand how my naive approach developed in the first place. Looking back at my time in secondary school, I was unprepared for the introduction of this new, strange female species into my world. I realise now that I must have been kind of cute because their were girls interested in me at school but I wasn't ready for them at that stage, I was struggling with adolescence and all the crap that it brings. It was at this stage that I got the impression that I didn't have to put any work into finding someone, that I would have to beat them off with a big stick, lol.

Now, its hard not to feel that I have missed the boat in many ways.
Time has not been kind to my looks in the past few years. Probably the best analogy I can give you is that of the character Tom Cruise plays in Minority Report. There is a bit in the film when he has to change his appearance and is given a shot under the chin. Well it seems that I've been given that shot but it isn't wearing off, lol.

I know whats coming next, you're going to say that I have a very low opinion of myself and need to improve my self esteem. You're probably going to say that girls don't put that much emphasis on looks, but you're not seeing the world from my eyes, you don't get the rejection, the distain, the lack of interest on a daily basis. I'm sorry, but girls do value appearance highly, at least the ones in my area do anyway.

Love / Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]


I don't know for sure, but I've a pretty good f**king idea though. Call it male intuition if you like. lol.


I have a lot of things to sort out in my life first, I am wise and I will learn, but it will be slowly. I missed the opportunity because I delayed, (paralysis through analysis) fair enough. But I see now that I had a naive attitude towards women and relationships. All I thought I had to do was be friendly and smile at them and somehow as if by magic they would see that I am this wonderful person (which I am) and want to spend time with me. I see now that it requires a different approach. I am on a learning curve and I need to make one small steps at a time. This girl was too big a step. Someone like that is my ultimate dream, but to think that it can happen so easily is foolish. I am a dreamer and I've been living in a fantasy world, but unfortunately I've got to wake up. If I work hard at improving myself & how I feel about myself with a bit of luck some day my dream will come true and it will be all the sweeter when it happens.