Law / Question about Polish public nudity law [54]


Yes, I wish there was something like this in Poland too.


I don't know how to go about that, you would have to post a link to such registry. But I do have an article about his case, his mug shots, etc.

Law / Question about Polish public nudity law [54]


He claimed on the forum that they were passed on to Poland:

https://polishforums.com/life/situation-americans-lied-cops-reason-82186/

So I guess the police may know (if he didn't lie) that someone like this resides in Poland, but schools, kids, parents, employers, etc. won't know this about him.


I sincerely doubt it, tbh :/

Love / So I got a call yesterday from those Polish teens who tried blackmailing me [22]


According to this site:

geoiplookup.net/ip/148.81.199.10

...he posted this from a music school in Warsaw...

Państwowa Szkoła Muzyczna I St. Nr 1 im. Oskara Kolberga w Warszawie

Address: Świętojerska 24

Could he be teaching there...?

Love / I dont get why you guys think are too young for sex even though aoc in Poland is ok [40]


Majority of those girls are victims of human trafficking or are being coerced into prostitution.


If they accuse him of rape, child molestation, etc. then that means they didn't agree to what he did to them. So it's not the same thing as having sex with an older guy willingly. Do you understand the difference between rape or sexual abuse and consensual sex?


You wrote on this forum that you had sex with a 16-year-old girl.

News / Roman Polanski accused of unlawful sex with a minor [403]

I just googled it and it looks like other media are still using this term too, like The Telegraph, The Times, the Washington Times, The New York Times, CNN, Fox News.

Once I've seen a real rape on a popular free porn site for everyone to see (the film was deleted after some time). One of the most disgusting and depressing things I've seen in my life. Was it "pornography"? I guess it depends on how you look at the term. If you see it as "the portrayal of sexual subject matter for the purpose of sexual arousal", no matter whether there is consent or not, then it is "child pornography" (and images of sexual abuse of children at the same time). If you understand the term as something that has to be consented to, then it isn't "child pornography".

Either way, it looks like this term is still in use. Probably because it's an easy "mental shortcut", something like "Polish death camps", I guess.

News / Roman Polanski accused of unlawful sex with a minor [403]

Maciek, your posts weren't deleted, they were simply moved to Random Chat.


So what are you advocating for exactly? Because I'm lost already...
What are your views that "disagree with our notions of the world and society in general"?


According to Polish law, if you want to publish photos of underage people you have to ask their parents for permission. Also, in case someone agrees for their photos to be published, she or he (in case of underage people it's their parents) has to agree to the way and the context in which the photos are going to be used.

If you're going to post nude photos, especially in sexually sugestive poses, then the site will get shut down, just like the Ukrainian site was, so I don't really see a point in starting it in the first place, tbh.

If you want to publish photos of girls in clothes then you'd have to have a permission of parents of every single girl from GaduGadu or wherever.

Furthermore, you don't even know if those girls would want to have their photos to be shown on a public site for everyone to see. Have you even asked any of them whether they would be interested? You're wasting so much time asking the same questions again and again and you don't even know whether they would be interested in anything of this sort. *sigh*


Then how did you find that wordpress blog or whatever that is? I suspect it was made during the time when LS Studio was still operating and those download links are probably expired already.

News / Roman Polanski accused of unlawful sex with a minor [403]


Well, my question wasn't exactly answered, actually. You responded with a question.
So, Lyzko, are you thinking or mentally fantasizing about 15-year-old girls nowadays?
Yes or no? That's a simple question.
I'm not a member of "the Thought Police", I'm simply courious about human nature, as always. I'd like to know the male perspective on this, so to speak :) It seems pretty relevant for this topic.

Lyzko, I've also asked you a second question that you haven't answered: what is the lower end of the age bracket for you nowadays? 14-year-old girls? 13? 12?


I suspect everyone did to some extent, but Lyzko is an elderly man, as far as I understand, so I guess he can't grow past anything anymore :P

News / Roman Polanski accused of unlawful sex with a minor [403]


Johnny didn't ask you that question, I did. To answer yours - no, as an adult I've never been aroused and never fantasized about a 15-year-old. I gather by your comment that you did?

I'm not advocating for people to be arrested for their thoughts. I was simply curious.
So, Lyzko, what is the lower end of the age bracket for you? What about 14-year-olds? 13? 12?


Yes, I suspected that for some time based on some other stuff that he wrote on this forum. That's why I asked. I guess my gut instinct didn't fail me once again.


But Lyzko didn't write anything about religion here. Ironside, mafketis and you started that discussion.

News / Roman Polanski accused of unlawful sex with a minor [403]

"at the end of the 60's in the US."

70's, sorry

News / Roman Polanski accused of unlawful sex with a minor [403]

Guys, don't start a discussion about religion in yet another thread - it's beyond off topic in this thread.


The thread title is wrong and I think it should be changed:

"Polanski gave her both champagne and Quaalude, a sedative drug, and despite being asked to stop, he performed oral sex, intercourse and anal sex upon her. The grand jury returned an indictment charging him with rape by use of drugs, perversion, sodomy, lewd and lascivious act upon a child under 14, and furnishing a controlled substance to a minor"

It has nothing to do with "underage prostitution". Besides, "unlawful sex with a minor" also doesn't automatically mean "prostitution" o_O So I don't know why teenage prostitution in Poland and Ukraine in 2017 is being discussed in a thread about a rape of a 13-year-old girl at the end of the 60's in the US.

News / Roman Polanski accused of unlawful sex with a minor [403]


You did mean Polański too. You wrote, I quote: "those dudes are my heroes just like polanski and the ukrainians who got rich off of doing what they love."

Why are you lying now?

So your heroes are "definitely" people who produced, publicised and made money of a pornographic content featuring girls aged from 8 to 16?


Are you thinking or mentally fantasizing about 15-year-old girls, Lyzko?


Maciek, even if the girls would agree to pose (I doubt many would) for you, it wouldn't mean they would want to have sex with you. Do you realise that?

I also don't see why girls from GG would cooperate with you if they can make money by themselves by sending photos and talking to men.

Btw, prostitution is legal in Poland. Making money from other people prostituting themselves (pimping) isn't.
As for that woman that you know who slept with a 16-year-old boy - I already wrote what I think about it in Random Chat.

Mafketis, he's 33. He wrote that himself on the forum.

News / Roman Polanski accused of unlawful sex with a minor [403]


And this is why I'm worried about girls and women that may cross your path.

As for what you wrote about scammers, etc. - you're generalising about women, maybe to justify yourself. Women and girls you describe are a minority (at least in Poland).

What I've experienced from men and the impact it had on me and my attitude towards men and my life in general can't be compared to the "terrible" experiences you had with girls and women and yet I'm capable of being empathic towards men and boys and I treat them with respect and empathy when they approach me, I'm always honest and I'm not playing with their feelings. So you have no excuse.

I also don't understand this notion of being "used for drinks". If you think that a woman/girl will have sex with you only because you bought her a drink, then you're an idiot.

As far as I remember Samantha Geimer stated that Polański gave her alcohol, drugged her and raped her anally when she was 13 years old.


I doubt it was the main cause. There must have been something wrong with him before that. Other men have their wives murdered and they somehow don't turn into rapist peadophiles. Maybe the murder triggered a downward spiral, maybe it made things worse. But I think there was something dark in him before that. The murder happened in 1969. He made "Rosemary's Baby" in 1968. It hit me only now, but do you remember that Rosemary is being gradually drugged in the film only to be raped by the devil? On the night when she's supposed to conceive Minnie brings her a cup of drugged chocolate mousse. It tastes strange and Rosemary throws it away after a few mouthfuls. Then she passes out and is raped. Rosemary is completely alone in this film. She isn't believed that there's something wrong. When she shares her fears and suspicions with Dr.Hill he calls her abusers assuming that she's delusional.

Doesn't all of this sound disturbingly familiar?

Mia Farrow was 23, I think, at that time and looked fairly young - skinny, small breasts. And when you think about who married her and what happened later...

If you think that artist's work doesn't show at least to some extent what sits in his/her head then you're wrong...

News / Roman Polanski accused of unlawful sex with a minor [403]


Because it's illegal in Poland.
It doesn't matter whether those Ukrainians were prosecuted in Ukraine or not. We're in Poland 2017, not in Ukraine 2004.


Maybe you don't understand what the term "sexual predator" means.
Most good men and boys (I'm using the word "good" instead of "normal" because these days I don't know what's "normal" for men and boys anymore) don't prey on women/girls, they woo them. Do you know the difference?

As roz wrote, your problem is not that you aren't a Latino or even that you aren't handsome enough. There's plenty of not very good looking Polish men in Poland who aren't great seducers and yet they have wives, girlfriends, etc.

As for "settling for" not very attractive partners then plenty of people do this, that's life. If you aren't attractive yourself then it is likely that you won't have an attractive partner, unless you have something else to offer, like a great personality, money/social status or whatever, I guess. Unattractive women have to settle for unattractive men too. And they have to live with it, because there aren't many male prostitutes. Men have it better, as always, so stop your whining and do something to be a better person and, as a result, more attractive to others.


I don't know if you read my comment in Random Chat, so I'll write it again: mafketis is right - your behaviour is self-destructive. You need a therapy - and I don't only mean for your sexual interest in children but also because, judging by what you wrote in another thread about your violent sexual preferences, you most probably suffer from PTSD (as jon357 mentioned earlier already). It will ruin your life if you don't address that in time. You may end up hurting or raping someone and you'll go to prison again. So, if you don't care about the wellbeing of girls and women around you, then at least care about yours enough to get help. It's not a shame to get help from other people when you need it. So, please, do it - for your own good.

Zawkwkwmwm , there are plenty of men who were ignored by girls when they were boys and yet they don't go for 12 year old girls. There are plenty of women who were ignored by boys when they were girls and they don't go for teenage boys either.

It simply isn't natural. It isn't normal. For example, for me personally, teenage boys simply don't exist sexually. Not because of the laws and society pressure. They're simply too young. No matter how mature or how well physically developed they are for their age. I can tell that they're too young nevertheless.

Maybe something bad happened to you when you were a kid or a teenager. Maybe you were abused or you were sick for a very long time, I don't know. Either way your problem is more serious - a psychologist will help you discover the roots of your problems, will help you and you will feel better. Hopefully, you'll be able to lead a normal, happy life. Don't you want that? If you think your life sucks, then wouldn't you like to improve it? You clearly don't know how to do it, so you need help with it.

We're trying to help you here. Can't you see that?

I don't respect Polański. I suspected he's a serial offender. Sexual predators always are.
I wouldn't be terribly surprised if he was still doing it nowadays.
I do think Trump is a sexual predator, judging by the info I've found. So is Bill Clinton. And Roy Moore. Weinstein is one and others. Those men are either rich or powerful or famous, acclaimed and respected and that's why they were getting away with it for years. They were getting away with this because our societies are flawed in more than one way.

But the fact that they were getting away with this doesn't mean that what they were doing was OK. It was very wrong. They've hurt many people. They've probably damaged many of them for life. And quite a few of those men are paying the price now for what they were doing for years. Westein is a nobody now. A total zero. And Charlie Rose lost his job.

Hopefully some kind of change is coming.

Dirk diggler, as for "never giving up their own" - do you think it only pertains to Jews? lol
What are your thoughts on Roy Moore and on the fact that he still has support among Republican voters and the President of the United States (rapist peados defending each other - no wonder, really). Do you know what Trump himself is accused of (even CNN didn't report about the worst stuff - it was mind-boggling for me)? And he won the election! For someone living in Poland - it's mind-blowing. Seriously.

I'd like to ask all the men on this forum, including zawkwkwmwm, to read this article, from the beginning till the end (and maybe do some soul-searching, hopefully, just like the author did):

theguardian.com/society/2017/nov/28/my-brother-sexual-predator-assault-weinstein-roy-moore

Love / The age of consent in Poland is only 15 [147]

I agree, roz, but that's the term that is used, so that's the word I used.

Love / The age of consent in Poland is only 15 [147]


You wrote you made out with a 12-13-year-old and had sex with a 16 year old girl so what more do you want? And, anyway, why not some older girl? Does it have to be a 15-16 year old?


What are you talking about?


That would be considered as making child pornography according to the Polish law - you could get from 8 to 12 years in prison for that. You think it would be worth the risk?

DaExxpat, men also tell me that I look younger than my actual age, maybe it's because I'm petite or maybe it's the genes (my mum is also told by people that she looks younger) but I doubt they mean that I look 10 years younger lol More like 5 years I imagine. It's probably the same with you. If you're 33, you won't look like 21-24 years old. I think that's rather impossible. Who tells you that you look 21-24? Other men?

Also, I don't know how you behave in real life, but Ironside may be right about sending out "creepy waves". I had an encounter with a pervert on a bus once who was giving such vibes. The moment he entered a bus I could see that there's something wrong with him - judging only by the way he moved. I was worried that he'll sit next to me and I was right - he sat next to me despite there were plenty of empty seats in front of me and behind me. I was coming back from work and my eyes were tired so I closed them and leaned somewhat against a wall in order to be as far from him as possible. Despite that I had less and less space on my seat and at some point I felt something lying on my thigh. I opened my eyes and saw that it was his hand hidden in the pocket of his jacket. I jumped up, moved out of there, I gave a young woman who was sitting not far away a warning look and went to the other end of the bus.

I think he was probably in his 40's, generally he looked normal, he could be a teacher or a clerk. But he seemed dirty. Not physically, because he had clean clothes, was clean in general, he didn't smell or anything. I can't explain it, but it felt like his soul was dirty, sick. I remember that I thought that he probably is addicted to porn. The way he moved made me think this, I don't know why.

So, my advice would be to cleanse your soul, mind, heart. A therapy could help you to deal with this. It could also help you to develop or enhance your social skills. If you don't have a job and money then register as an unemployed person and you could go to a psychologist free of charge in Poland. I think having a hobby would help too. And exercise, jogging. It would take your mind off sex, because as it often is with men who aren't getting sex you're probably thinking about it too much and you're probably addicted to porn too.

DaExxpat, the aoc laws, including those in Poland, exist to protect children and young people from sexual predators, among others, and from a pregnancy at an age that could damage a girl's body. Also, starting sex life at a young age can have psychological repercussions - people are unable to fall in love in later life, they have problems with creating a relationship, they are unable to connect sex with feelings for another person.

Where did Knox say that she likes "rape"?

Harry, actually I also had moments when I thought that maybe it's someone trying to fish out peadophiles because it seemed almost unreal.

Language / Easy texts to practice Polish sentences/reading/vocabulary? [33]

Dominic, books like "The Lord of the Rings" are too difficult for beginners, I think I was already after my FCE (and I passed it with an A) when I decided to read "The Two Towers" in original and I had to have a dictionary by my side for most of the time for all the vocabulary describing weaponry, armour and some more archaic words and maybe other stuff too. Also bear in mind that English is easier to understand, Tolkien tried to learn Polish and apparently he decided that it's too difficult lol (and the guy was a philologist, who invented his own languages). A learner of Polish at an elementary level would get easily discouraged. Harry Potter series would be a better idea, but I think he should start with something way easier and shorter.

KoszalinChris, have you thought about reading comic books (or graphic novels) in Polish? My brother read American comic books in original, you can learn a lot of everyday language in this way (his English is probably better than mine :)).

Here you have something for starters:
Polish version:
meago.deviantart.com/gallery/342487/MS-chapter-one-pl
English version:
meagosaga.smackjeeves.com/comics/626998/ms-03

I've also found stories for children online but I don't want to get a warning from mods for "exessive linking" so I'll send them to you in a private message (let me know if they're easy enough).

Lyzko, Orzeszkowa is a 19th century writer, I think it would be better if he started with something written in a more contemporary language...

KoszalinChris, once you'll feel that you could read books in Polish maybe you could try books by Joanna Chmielewska - she wrote for children and youth. Her stuff is fun to read. I remember reading a kind of youth criminal serie, one of the books was "Zwyczajne życie" ("Ordinary Life") - it was interesting and funny. You can buy it at Empik internet store but I'm sure it's also available at any library.

Life / What would you do in my situation (Americans lied to Polish cops about my reason for deportarion) [7]


Maybe you misunderstood what the Polish cops said - if you moved to the US as a kid, it's possible your Polish is not so great. Or maybe Polish cops misunderstood something - they may not know the US legal system well or sth and if you were registered as a sex offender they could automatically assume that you must've molested someone.

Did you actually see the info sent by the American police or just heard what Polish cops said about it?


Then how many years did you spend in prison and what was the reason for your deportation to Poland?


You live in Warsaw? I guess you could go to the police in Dąbrowa Górnicza once you'll be visiting your grandma or friends and ask the police there what info American police has sent and whether it's possible for you to verify/correct it. Or simply call them (or ask your mum to call them) and ask whether there's a point in sending your files there or maybe showing them to the police in Warsaw.

Mafketis is right though, the best thing to do is not to brake Polish law.

Language / "Cup of coffee" translated in Poland as Kubek kawy. Why not a mug? [70]


Yes, I know - my region is home to the oldest porcelain factory in Poland (in Ćmielów), the factory and the Porcelain Museum was a typical school trip destination during my school days (and probably still is) :) However, before it started with porcelain it produced faience - wasn't that more affordable?

I get what you mean about mass production of porcelain in England and it being a luxury item in Poland, but for some time Poland didn't officially exist - it was a part of three different countries. Porcelain seemed common enough in Russia and since a chunk of Poland was part of Russian Empire porcelain wasn't really "imported", and, I'm guessing, could be popularised to some extent by Russians. In 1939 only 15% of porcelain in Poland was imported. Ćmielów factory was even exporting porcelain to the US, the Netherlands, Turkey, Egypt, Palestine and covered almost the whole porcelain market in the Free City of Danzig (Gdańsk). Those were the times when Polish porcelain was valued more and was more expensive in Poland than the one made by "young" German manufactory Rosenthal. Also, I wasn't writing about using glass in general - I can imagine its use was more common - I meant drinking tea from a glass with a holder (that was what you wrote about) which is, apparently, a specifically Russian custom.

Here's a fragment from an article about Ćmielów factory (article titled '220 lat najstarszej polskiej fabryki porcelany - "Ćmielów"' on budnet.pl):
"It was the time of great prosperity. The nobility and the growing rich burgesses wanted to have the most beautiful dinnerware sets - the evidence of wealth and a wonderful dowry for their daughters. Bolesław Prus wrote in "Lalka" ("The Doll") that Miss Izabela Łęcka 'would eat from silver plates and porcelain as expensive as gold'".

So it looks like not only the nobility were using porcelain, but also the burgesses.


Not exactly, I meant the distinction between "kieliszek" and "szklanka". "Kieliszek" is used for alcohol only (vodka, wine, liqueur, champagne) and looks different than "szklanka". I guess the only "pure" alcohol drunk in a "szklanka" (from Polish perspective) is whiskey?

Btw, I've never heard the word "beaker" before. Is it used in the same way in the US as in the UK?
In Polish it's always called "kubek" no matter whether it has a handle or not.
What about Polish "kufel" (for drinking beer)? What are the British and American equivalents?

@Ironside, that's true, Poles were (in the second half of the 18th century in Poland 470 tons of coffee were sold a year and only 19 tons of tea!) and still are, apparently, a coffee nation (a bit surprising for me since all my family, except for me, drinks tea as if it was water lol):

newsweek.pl/styl-zycia/gdzie-pije-sie-najwiecej-kawy-a-gdzie-kroluje-herbata-,artykuly,372988,1.html

It looks like the British, Irish and Russians are the biggest drinkers of tea in Europe ;)

And, yes, porcelain sets were also manufactured in the communist Poland... My parents still have a few Ćmielów sets from those times (most of them belonged to my late grandparents) - one of those sets is from Goplana series from the 1960's, and some other porcelain stuff from Ćmielów, like this Calypso vase (pity it's damaged at the top though):

artinfo.pl/aukcje/zbigniewa-sliwowska-wawrzyniak/wazon-calypso-zps-mielow-proj-1957-r2

Another fragment from that article about the factory in Ćmielów:

"The factory in Ćmielów survived also those years when the love for anything 'pre-war' was frowned upon and the mass production of ordinary, practical crockery was the most profitable."

Actually, the history of this factory is, in a way, a reflection of Polish history. It was almost completely destroyed during the World War I. Word War II was also a difficult period - the factory was taken over by Germans - not only did they focused more on faience but also later on they replaced it with the production of porcelit (in that part of factory in Chodzież). In that article about Ćmielów factory a bitter fragment of the poem by Stanisław Barańczak is quoted: "If porcelain then only of the kind that won't be pitied under the boot of a porter or a tank's caterpillar." I also remember very well from my high school times a sad and beautiful poem by Czesław Miłosz "Piosenka o porcelanie" ("Song of Porcelain"). It contains a refrain: "Sir, nothing else do I pity more than porcelain". Of course, the poem is about World War II and porcelain is interpreted as a metaphor of all that was beautiful, cultured, fragile and good which was destroyed by the war. I remember that I couldn't get that poem out of my head because of that touching metaphor.

Language / "Cup of coffee" translated in Poland as Kubek kawy. Why not a mug? [70]

"catched on" - caught on, sorry lol

Lyzko, indeed :) Russians have a whole tea culture which is, I think, 300 years old.


That may very well be. But I'm not sure what's your point? I didn't write that they didn't use teacups at all. My point was that the custom of "drinking tea in a glass with a holder" wasn't related to the size of whichever social class but was a Russian custom that appeared in Poland during partitions. The article I linked to didn't specify which social classes in Poland were using them. In Russia the use of glasses with holders wasn't restricted to lower classes so probably Polish upper classes were using them too. I suppose they could use both. My mum, for example, drinks her tea and coffee both from teacups and glasses. She usually drinks from a teacup in the morning during a breakfast and when eating some cake or dessert and uses a glass when eating a dinner (more liquid fits in it :)).

Of course, that's just guesswork on my part.
You wrote that "In England the middle classes very much aped the ways of their betters" - do you assume that Polish middle class wasn't doing that?

I've read that Russian merchants poured tea from teacups into saucers in order to cool it down and drank from them which was, apparently, frowned upon among the nobility - that's all I've managed to find out for now as far as class divisions in Russia were concerned.

Here you can see Russians from lower classes drinking it in this way in a tea room:

I've also read that traditionally Russian women preffered drinking from teacups and men from glasses with metal holders.
I doubt lower classes could afford gilded silver glass holders like this one:
galeriazak.pl/pl/p/Wasilij-Siemienow-Podstakannik%2C-Moskwa%2C-ok.-1915-r./1197

Atch, I'm not some kind of expert on history of drinking tea in Russia and Poland, of course. I myself used to think that "drinking tea in a glass with a holder" was a PRL/communist thing and that's why it was done both in Poland and Russia. Common sense would also suggest that during communist times when in Poland often even the most basic things were hard to get china sets could be considered a luxury, I don't know. I don't think they were considered by the communists as a nobility/bourgeoisie thing because then they wouldn't be produced during PRL times, I suppose.

However, no matter what article I read in whichever language - it is stated that drinking tea in a glass with a holder is a very typical, traditional Russian way of drinking tea. Drinking tea with a slice of lemon (typical "Polish" way of drinking tea) is also apparently a Russian invention. Of course, not only Russians drank tea from glasses, it's also the traditional way of drinking tea in other countries like Turkey, Iran (served in a glass on a porcelain saucer), Egypt, Morocco, Libya, in the Sahel region, etc. According to Wiki, Iranians traditionally drink tea by pouring it into a saucer and putting a lump of rock sugar in the mouth before drinking the tea, so maybe this Russian tradition has its roots in Iran.

Btw, what this Iranian general is holding in his hand in Poland would be called "kieliszek" rather than "szklanka" because of its size:



Is there a similar distinction in the English language? Because all I ever heard was "a glass" (or "a shot of vodka").
As for drinking coffee in Poland I've read on two sites that before communist times Poles would drink coffee in teacups and that drinking it in glasses is a PRL legacy. Those sites also stated that nowadays the most popular way in Poland is drinking coffee from mugs, especially among younger generations.

Language / "Cup of coffee" translated in Poland as Kubek kawy. Why not a mug? [70]


No, it didn't have anything to do with the middle class. Tea in Poland was popularised by Russians during the partitions:

newsweek.pl/historia/jejmosc-radzi-herbate,83442,1,1.htm
A quote from the article:

"Soon samovars became a standard home accessory. 'A lot of other Russian customs catched on: serving tea in glasses, not in tea cups, drinking it with jam or while holding a cube of sugar in one's mouth' - Tarasiewicz describes."


That's true, although, of course, in theory, while you're a guest at someone's house when you're asked what would you like to drink you can also say: "Poproszę (o) filiżankę kawy/herbaty" ("I'd like a cup of coffee/tea, please").

In cafés in Poland the way they serve coffee often depends on the type of coffee - regular coffee, cappuccino are served in tea cups, espresso in a smaller tea cup, latte macchiato in a tall, big glass (layers are visible thanks to this). Although I had once an Irish coffee served in a tea cup and it should be served in a glass, I guess?

Love / Urgent Relationship help - wife wants to stay in Poland [118]

Spiritus is right, I guess we gave you all the advice, info and opinions that we could. One of my posts was deleted, though, for some strange reason, so in case you'd like to read it - it's here:

polishforums.com/off-topic/random-chat-74400/37/#msg1589337

I've included a lot of thoughts and advice there, so it would be a shame if you'd miss it.

I've also talked to my mum and I've asked her about that relative from the countryside - it turns out that he built a house in Poland for the money that he earned in Germany and lives with his wife and daughter in Poland. So, there you go. As I wrote - when a husband/wife is living and working indefinitely abroad it isn't considered to be normal and you shouldn't be looking at this like it's some kind of "custom" in Poland. It isn't OK and you can tell that to your wife.

In case things won't work out you'll probably need this info - it's about separation and divorce in Poland:

separacja.pl/en

Love / Urgent Relationship help - wife wants to stay in Poland [118]


...and her daughter. That may actually be true (at least partly).

Love / Urgent Relationship help - wife wants to stay in Poland [118]


Polish women in general or "Polish women married to men from the UK or Ireland or living there with their Polish husband boyfriend"? I think you're probably generalising even about those living in the UK/Ireland. My best friend and her boyfriend worked in the UK for a while but they both went back to Poland because they missed the country, family and friends too much. My another friend has a British boyfriend and they both live and work in the UK. Both of those friends of mine are intelligent, educated, independent women with very fluent English (and both worked as waitresses).


No, you were referring to Polish women in general - that's what one could understand from your comment ("Polish women have different expectations of marriage.").


Did you tell her how you feel about this?
You know, it could be the case of bad communication in your relationship. Or it could be that your marriage simply burned out (the separation due to you working abroad probably didn't help, I imagine). 10 years is quite a lot, some marriages burn out earlier than that. Maybe you could try to revive your marriage - I don't know - but you both would have to work on that and there would have to be will on both sides...

I think you should talk honestly to her about all of this, about your feelings, that such situation isn't normal in the long term and tell her that if nothing changes you're heading for a divorce. Don't be angry, don't yell at her or sth, don't make accusations, just tell her calmly how you see this. And ask her how she feels about this, does she still have feelings for you, does she miss you when you're away, why doesn't she want to spend time with you when you come to Poland, does she still want to be married to you, etc. At least that's what I would do...

Btw, how old are your kids (if you don't mind saying)? Couldn't she hire a babysitter from time to time in order to have a bit of free time (live a life a bit) for herself when you're away? Did you propose that to her? You know, a woman isn't a one-man army. Mothers/wives need some rest too and some time to relax.

Love / Urgent Relationship help - wife wants to stay in Poland [118]

Well, does she claim that 9000 zł is not enough? Does she want you to send more money than 5000-6000 zł? You wrote earlier: "she'll dig her heels in even more". What do you mean by that? Does she have debts? Is she some kind of crazy spender or sth?


Then it is possible that she may believe that she won't be able to find a decent work in the UK. How old is she?


Ah, yes... Some Polish mothers can be that way...


Did you ever talk in a calm way about this? Did she tell you her reasons why she wants to stay in Poland? Is it only about her job?


Doesn't she miss you? And what about children? Don't they miss you? For how long has this been going on (you living in the UK)?

Love / Urgent Relationship help - wife wants to stay in Poland [118]


This is yet another time I read this strange statement from you so I've decided to comment.
It is not very common for Polish women to "expect" their husbands to go abroad and send money home while visiting family once a month. It happens when people can't find work in Poland or want to earn more money than in Poland. It's usually a mutual decision and not an easy one. Also, not only men go abroad to work. My aunt at one point went to Italy to work as a caregiver (she's a nurse) and left two sons under the care of my uncle. When she earned enough money she went back. There was also one Ukrainian middle-aged lady in my neighbourhood who worked as a caregiver and was sending money home - for her daughter's university studies. It also happens that both Polish parents go abroad to work and leave their children under the care of grandparents - apparently it's fairly common in my region which is one of the poorest in Poland. Trust me, noone "expects" such life, people often simply have no choice.


Polish society is somewhat more traditional than some Western ones and Polish society in general may have a bit different expectations of the roles of a man and a woman in a marriage and in a family. A man is more likely to be seen as a breadwinner and therefore expected by everyone, not only by women to support his family financially and a woman is expected by everyone, not only by men to take care of the household and children.

At least that's the theory because in practice usually both husband and wife work from my experience.
In general, it is possible, I guess, that Polish men go to work abroad more often than women, but don't forget that here the women are expected by society in general, not only by men, to take care of the children and are seen as better fit to take care of them and so are left behind. Plus it's less dangerous for men to work abroad on their own than for women, let's face it.


It depends on the individual person. I know families where for a wife children and husband come first and then her extended family follows and her and her needs are at the very last end. You're generalising way too much.


That's what Polish mothers usually do because fathers often can't bother (I'm generalising a bit probably, but still in Poland it's more often the mother who is expected to take care of stuff related to children and household). She was probably raised this way, so it's possible she isn't taking much notice of your advice and opinions because of that and not because she wants to spite you or have more "power" or whatever.

BritboyByd, 9000 zł a month for one adult and two children is a lot of money in Poland, imho. So what are you saying - she claims to need more? On what basis?

It does sound like your marriage is nearing an end, especially if after ten years of marriage you're seeking a relationship advice on an internet forum... You don't sound like you love her anymore, maybe she doesn't love you anymore either - in my opinion that would be the fundamental question you two need to ask each other and whether you want to be married. I don't think strangers on the internet can answer this for you...

I think Atch mentioned going to a relationship counsellor - that would be a good idea, but I'm not sure how it could be done if you two live in two different countries.


Then what is her profession and what job could she find in the UK? Could you help her find a job? Has she ever lived in the UK (or anywhere abroad)?

Btw, of course it's possible that she's still married to you to milk you, it's also possible that it isn't the case. You should know your wife best and be able to tell.

There's a similar case to yours in my family, my relatives who live in the countryside - the guy works in Germany and goes back to Poland to his wife and daughter once in a blue moon. I don't know how they work as a marriage, I don't understand this, to be honest. I don't think they're divorced - I would hear about it. All I know is that he distanced himself from his own parents which is rather sad.

Travel / Warsaw in May, Auschwitz, Kantor in Old Town [33]


Reeko, in case it wouldn't be possible or if you prefer a more private option then maybe you could do it during a gondola cruise? I think those cruises are pretty short but maybe if you payed extra then the guy steering it could take his time (and take only the two of you), for example when swimming near the Palace on the Isle (the Łazienki Palace) and then you could propose to her in the middle of the lake. Those gondoles look a bit kitschy but it could be pretty scenic (and romantic), I think :):



Either way, in my mind's eye I can already see tears of happiness in your wife's eyes :)))


Then, to be honest, if I were you I would probably not listen to people here and visit Auschwitz, especially considering that it's scheduled at the end of your trip and it's important for your wife. What is a "good time" to visit such a place anyway...


quantor.pl/kantory/warszawa.html

Language / Patrick Ney - Is his Polish Legit? [35]


David Gaboriaud :) I would say that he's more bearable than Pascal though lol


I've noticed it too. That's why I usually can't watch his show, his "French accent" gets on my nerves lol

There are Ukrainian shop assistants in my city that probably could pass for natives if it wasn't for their Eastern "zaśpiew", I suspect (they could have Polish roots though, I guess).

Love / Why the Polish girls are not laughing? [22]


I don't think Polish women look at laughing in this way lol If something is funny then we laugh, if it isn't then we don't (or we do in order to be polite lol).

This is an interesting thought though:


I must say that because of the "reputation" that Polish women have in the West, apparently, I would definitely not behave as friendly towards a Western/foreign man as towards a Western/foreign woman. Especially towards men from the UK. I'd probably be more reserved than normal...


...it means something. Or rather - when she smiles, because I suspect that's what "Fabio" meant (or that's what foreigners usually mean, I guess?). The thing is - because Poles aren't very smiley (they don't usually smile randomly at strangers) when someone smiles it may be interpreted as a sign of interest or of reciprocated interest (when you smile back). Aside from situations when you open the door for someone or bump into someone on the sidewalk or on the bus, or in the shop, of course - then a small, polite smile is justified. So people won't be giving smiles right and left because it could be interpreted in the wrong way (by both men and women), I think. Especially in case of girls/women - I wouldn't like to give some guy false hope or get some unwanted attention...


I was thinking the same - January definitely isn't a smiley month lol I think it's the darkest month during Polish winter. Probably not the best time for interacting with Poles ;)

Love / Why the Polish girls are not laughing? [22]


Lyzko is right - it's cultural differences and stuff. It's the first time I read/hear that Polish women laugh less then Polish men though o_O

I guess it's because you're a man - you're probably fixating on girls more and hence your skewed observation (at least that's my guess).


You may be right - they may start laughing when the Italian guy drops to the floor under the table :)

Genealogy / Why did(do) Poles sometimes have German first names? [28]


Yes, I think it's quite interesting and you can find out sth not only about your family but also about the history of the country or region :)


It could be, I guess. Either way, I tried to think of some surname that would end with "-chra" and I googled "Czuchra" and here's what I found on a site with etymology of Polish surnames:

"CZOCHRA < czochrać 'czesać len, wełnę' Sstp (SSNO Czuchra, Czychra) 1448, odap., s. 186"

It comes from a word for "brushing flax or wool".

So your great grandfather's surname could very well be a Polish one, maybe it even means something in Polish. You could try to find it on this site:

stankiewicze.com/index.php?kat=44&sub=892

"Nazwiska na literę" means "Surnames starting with the letter...".


That's an interesting find, good job! :D


If you mean this fragment: "Władysław Bełza, podając wiele współczesnych mu nazwisk o niemieckim brzmieniu." then "nazwiska" in modern Polish means "last names".


I guess it's possible. If one parent was Polish and the other German, for example, they could decide to give their child a German first name if he had a Polish surname anyway in order to honour also his German roots or a German grandfather or sth. An example from today's Poland - Bronisław Wildstein - he had a Jewish father, hence the surname and a Polish mother and probably that's why he got a very Polish first name (unlike his father, I'm guessing - Szymon Wildstein).


"Niemcy" means "Germans" :) According to an article in English Wikipedia 'Głuchoniemcy is a sort of pun; it means "deaf-mutes", but sounds like "forest Germans'. The name for Germans in Polish (Niemcy) comes from the word "niemy" (mute). They were called this way because they didn't speak Slavic languages and in this sense German tribes were "mute" to Slavic people. According to an article on Polish Wikipedia about Głuchoniemcy that you linked people described by Maciejowski called themselves "głuchoniemcy" ("głuchy" means "deaf", so it could mean "deaf Germans") because they didn't hear nor understand German language but at the same time they weren't the same as local people.


The first part of this name (głucho) could be derived from the word "głusza" which means "a desolate place" and is most often associated with big, desolate forests. So, yeah, I guess it could mean "Germans who don't understand German language and live among forests" :)

The region where your great grandfather came from, Podkarpackie Voivodeship (or simply "Pokarpacie") is full of forests and mountains. ("Podkarpackie/Pokarpacie" means "by/under the Carpathian Mountains").

So I guess you have forest in your blood :)
You'd probably love it there - look (Sanok is shown in first video):

youtube.com/watch?v=PI-bg3VnMWg

An evening flight:

youtube.com/watch?v=qJH4CPlGSxw

And during winter:

youtube.com/watch?v=JNBWojGlMaM

youtube.com/watch?v=SHiYdhRI630

Btw, I also love forests (minus spiderwebs and spiders... and ticks... and mosquitoes, haha ;D). I live in the Świętokrzyskie Voivodeship (Holy Cross Province - it takes its name from the Świętokrzyskie (Holy Cross) mountain range). My city is surrounded by those small old mountains covered with forests. Mu mum comes from the countryside and she would always take us to walks in the forests, we would pick wild forest mushrooms (mushroom hunting is popular in Poland, btw) and we would hug birches ;D According to folk knowledge/tradition, I guess, hugging birches drives out toxins out of your body or some bad energy, I don't know, either way, it's supposed to be good for you ;) It definitely was relaxing - each of us would hug one tree, relax and listen to the sound of the forest :) My Świętokrzyskie Voivodeship borders with your great grandfather's Podkarpackie Voivodeship so we're basically kin! ;)

So next time when you're on a hiking trip in the woods find a birch tree, hug it and think of Poland ;D


Oh, thank you, that's kind of you :) But for now I think it would be enough if I simply moved my ass and dig up some documents in local archives ;)


Oh, go away, Crow...