Love / English girl. Do Polish men afraid to show their feelings or they are just not comfortable in UK? [84]


Perhaps you attract them as a matter of course.

Interestingly enough, in all my years on planet Earth the only person to have thrown up on me was Swedish.

Love / Foreign Men and Polish Girls for Citizenship [59]

Who or what is a polaki? That's a new one on me.

Travel / Passenger plane converted into restaurant near Katowice, Poland [21]


Ah the old old nutter on the bus sketch from Jasper Carrott comes to mind. I seem to get them all the time too. Either I'm an attractant for them or there just lots of them about.

Off-Topic / PF - The Omnibus Edition [1502]


My kind of gal:)


Not another one. I have a new conspiracy theory. There are only two members on here, me and one other.

Off-Topic / PF - The Omnibus Edition [1502]


Did you star in Being There by any chance? lol

Off-Topic / PF - The Omnibus Edition [1502]


It's only a handful of people that are getting to me and believe me you're not in that category cjjc. The nature of a forum that grows is that old ground is gone over. I wasn't aiming for a personal Utopia! I still think this is a great Forum. Like SeanBM has said, I'm having a bad one

Off-Topic / PF - The Omnibus Edition [1502]

I've had better but there again I've had far worse too:)

Off-Topic / PF - The Omnibus Edition [1502]

Damn - I had posted a deeply insightful comment that has not made it through the upgrade.

Good old Oscar. He was a wit.

The Outro and the Intro (with apologies to Vivian Stanshaw)

I was just musing on posters that have left PF or turned into lurkers. As I started to jot down some names I suddenly realised how much I miss their contribution. Yes I know its nostalgia and that ain’t what it used to be but for what it’s worth here is my list of the dear departed:

• Fisz (aka Z the mod)
• Krysia (an infrequent visitor these days and the resident PF cartoonist)
• Sledz (pops by to have a pop at us limeys but always with good humour)
• Ranj (who has yet to forgive me for the Rumours thing)
• Miranda (ain’t no more philosophy any more)
• Pingwin (sometimes you can spot a genuinely nice person even over the internet)
• Daisy (laughs galore and a heap of common sense)
• Patrcyja19 (pops by less and less frequently)
• Mufasa (remember the investigative reporting on smilies – MI6 would have been proud of her)
• The various wolves that lurked around on here, male and female
• Smoothjazz
• Puzzler
• Giles……

There are many, many more I could name (but hey it’s OK I can’t offend them by their omission since they aren’t here any more). The quality of the discussion in the good old days was pretty darned good. Informative always. Funny most often. Often edgy but always with respect.

Now the place is bigger and that of course brings less intimacy. Questions are repeated as more and more people develop an interest in Poland and are attracted here. The information exchange is just as effective but the feel of the place is different now. Some of the ‘replacements’ for the above and others that I failed to name just piss me off if I’m honest. Closed minds and big mouths never go down well with me and never will. Self opinionated twats. Of course this is a very small minority of our members.

This is not a pop at PF. Any growing organisation brings change, some of it good some of it bad. There is huge value here and I’m sure all the new members who are here not just to have a fight would agree. The law of diminishing returns has kicked in for me as I am sure it has for others.

So let this just be my way of acknowledging the contribution of all the early crew in making this forum a success and a nice cyberhome (not forgetting the contribution of Admin and our mods over the years). Gone but not forgotten.

Off-Topic / PF - The Omnibus Edition [1502]


No that was Admin upgrading our servers I suspect. Hence the MySQL script references and the like.

Come on SeanBM I thought you were getiing this IT stuff:)

Off-Topic / PF - The Omnibus Edition [1502]

Breaking News

The global war on misinformation has taken a serious turn for the worse today writes our trivia correspondent, Life O’Riley. The conflict levels here on PF have reached the level where the officials have instigated a complete curfew on the streets between the hours of 20:00 and 06:00. At these times all off you must stay within your firewalls and all trips to Bar Above are off limits. (Ed – wasn’t that blown up a few weeks ago anyway?)

A full briefing will be issued once I have sobered up, but for now all of you need to be aware of the main areas of conflict out there:

• Avoid all threads where Brits and Yanks are known to be on concurrently, time zones permitting.
• Avoid the thread concerning the so called ‘Paradise’ if you are an Aussie or Brit. If you’re neither then avoid it anyway because Osiol is talking about Eskimos.

• Do not mention anything about Poland when Puzzler is on. The red mist is back.

Under no circumstances should you attempt to enter into reasoned debate, just to be on the safe side.

Language / Ukrainian language similar to Polish? [236]

Dobrogo ranku Seagirl

Russian, Ukrainian, Polish..... it's all Double Dutch to me

Off-Topic / PF - The Omnibus Edition [1502]


If I believe some on here I am in a third world country... Is there a fourth world?

Off-Topic / PF - The Omnibus Edition [1502]

Phew....

I'm not leaving just acknowledging the fact that I have very limited time on the internet so the Omnibus is shall we say 'parked' for now. With such limited time I have to balance my priorities and PF comes behind the quantum physics forum and russian brides 4u

Off-Topic / PF - The Omnibus Edition [1502]


I've found a good new drinking place already. Woolies is a distant memory already

A Change of Ownership

We would like to inform you that the Omnibus Edition has been bought by the same Russian oligarch who recently purchased the London Evening Standard. Sadly both the editor and myself have been replaced by ex KGB staff and so this is the last Omnibus Edition. No doubt there will be a replacement along soon. So long all. It has been fun whilst it lasted.

To all of you on here who have made me laugh and increased my knowledge and appreciation of Poland I would like to say thanks for the all the fish. Take care all.

UK, Ireland / A collection of noimmigration's threads or "STAY AWAY from BRITAIN" [978]

For sale. Basic keyboard skills by Ima Muppett. Reasonable offers only. Only students need apply.

UK, Ireland / A collection of noimmigration's threads or "STAY AWAY from BRITAIN" [978]

Protect jobs? Where does the article say anything about that?

Off-Topic / PF - The Omnibus Edition [1502]


OK. You have my word as an officer and a gentleman.

Recession Bites

It looks like I will be spending more time in our virtual bar as my real life local has closed its doors. The owner cannot get credit from the corpulent, greedy and incompetent financial services wallahs so a slice of English history is no more. I am distraught.

Off-Topic / PF - The Omnibus Edition [1502]

I'm leaning towards the handlebars.

Jeez that was bad. Boredom does funny things to you. I think I'll start a fight on a thread or two.

Off-Topic / PF - The Omnibus Edition [1502]


Thank you Sausage for your Solidarity, although this means we have to grow dodgy moustaches I suppose.

Off-Topic / PF - The Omnibus Edition [1502]

Szarlotka - An Announcement

It is with great sadness that I have to inform you all that I have no intention of leaving PF in the near future. I realise that this will inevitably come as a great shock to many of you. I have shared this decision privately with some of you already and the reactions have made me understand that to leave at this point in time would open me up to accusations that I have run out of ideas for the Omnibus Edition. By staying I know that I run the risk of being accused of being a complete saddo with no life to speak of but my professional pride leaves me with no option but to plod on. Having taken this decision I would like to ask that you give me a little time and space to reflect and regain the inner strength necessary to wade through page after page of claim and counterclaim on Gaza, WWII and the best way of cooking eggs. For the foreseeable future I will only be taking calls from close family – unless of course Kaka needs an interpreter. Thank you for you consideration at this most difficult of times.

Off-Topic / PF - The Omnibus Edition [1502]


So you can practise before you ski with your new Russian friend then. Best of luck with skiing and the romance!!!!

Off-Topic / PF - The Omnibus Edition [1502]

Good thanks. All too short a duration. Snow was very good. Prices were ludicrous in France.

Off-Topic / PF - The Omnibus Edition [1502]

MORE LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

Dear Ed,

Having read your previous correspondence I feel compelled to draw your attention to my own issues and concerns. I recently posted some sound advice on the possibilities for consumers purchasing PCs in Poland to negotiate discounts when refusing the proffered bundled Microsoft products and sensibly installing Open Source equivalents. I also pointed out the numbers of illegal copies of Microsoft products that exist in Poland and the need to avoid costly law suits by ensuring that this practice ceases forthwith. For my pains I received a number of off topic comments and insults. In addition I had to endure a long stream of techno-geek babble from people who plainly have too much spare time on their hands. How do you think I should reinforce my messages to your members?

Yours sincerely

Ela-lawyer.

Dear Ela-L,

Firstly I would like to make it clear that this is in no way a formal consultation with yourself so you can turn that clock off now. Now, in your answer to your question I can only point out that getting sense out of some of the Forum members is a bit like herding sheep. So my advice is don’t bother and let them be sued or pay over the odds for their next upgrades. Incidentally, aren’t you in danger of putting your own firm’s revenue stream at risk? I mean Microsoft is one of the few organisations spending any cash at the moment. You must want a piece of their legal actions, surely? Just a thought.

My Esteemed Editor,

Like many of my countrymen I have taken the well trodden path to the United Kingdom to work. Unlike some of them I was not motivated purely by economic reasons. I intended to improve my English substantially but have ended up working exclusively with my countrymen. How can I find better opportunities to improve my English?

Yours

Mattyjazz

Dear Satchmo,

I fear that you may find it extremely difficult to meet your objective. In the first place you will not find that many Englishmen that want to actually do your job, unless of course you are an investment banker and we all know that opportunities in that field are somewhat limited at present. Secondly there is a good chance that your English is already better than some of your potential work colleagues. So I suggest you change tack and improve your English down at the pub with Szarlotka and I. Best to get her sooner rather than later in the evening though.

Dear Omnibus Edition,

I took the decision some weeks ago to stop participating on the Forum. A number of both posts and people began to offend me to the extent that I had ceased to gain any enjoyment from my participation. I would dearly like to return but would have to be convinced that the behaviours on here are to change back to those of reasoned debate and helpful assistance. My question to you is will this ever happen?

M

Dear M

007 sends his regards. I wouldn’t cancel the vacation plans just yet.

Off-Topic / PF - The Omnibus Edition [1502]

London buses.... here comes another one. Your user name is very, very similar to my initials which confuses me....

Off-Topic / PF - The Omnibus Edition [1502]

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

Firstly, I would like to apologise for the absence, yet again, of an Omnibus Edition this week. I would like to assure you all that we are taking the increasingly erratic behaviour of Mr Szarlotka very seriously and have placed him on formal notice of underperformance with a view to terminating his contract unless he pulls his socks up. In the meantime, I would like to share with you all some of the letters we have received recently and my own responses to them.

Dear Omnibus Edition,

I would like to draw your attention to the beastly way in which I am being treated on the Forum. As you will appreciate I have made many incisive and thought provoking contributions on a number of threads concerning recent Polish history and the appalling way in which the British let us down at the end of WWII. In all of my contributions I have set out balanced views that have been backed up with numerous links to authoritative sources that support my views. I have also, as you know, provided incontrovertible evidence that Russia is not to be trusted on anything. For my efforts I have been rewarded with nothing but vitriol from the likes of Harry, Sasha and ConstantineK. It really is not fair and I am at my wits end trying to see how I can make them see that I am right on all these matters.

With best regards

Carol

Dear Carol,

To my mind this is yet another example of the folly of using the written word to convey serious commentary on political and historical matters. It’s just too black and white you see. It doesn’t convey the subtle nuances of humour and irony that would be obvious in a face to face debate. Therefore my advice to you is to arrange dinner between the four of you to iron out your differences. I know the geography makes this difficult to arrange but you really ought to consider doing it. My only request is that you don’t choose London as the venue – just in case it doesn’t go according to plan.

Dear Omnibus Edition,

I would like to register a formal complaint about the unacceptable way in which I have been treated since I graced this forum with my presence and informed commentary, Some of your members are incapable of recognising that I am obviously right and choose to indulge in puerile name calling in lieu of agreeing with me.

Yours,

Hatefulbunch397

Dear Bunch

It’s all about first impressions in my opinion. Have you considered to changing your user name to something, shall we say, more gentle. You could call yourself Primrose or, if the bunch thing is important to you, Bunch of Primroses. By doing this I think people will, in general, react more positively to your opinions rather than being instantly wound up.

Dear Editor,

I am not sure whether you have any influence over the owners of this Forum. I sincerely hope that you do as I would like to bring to the world’s attention that I am being stalked on here. Every time I post one of my eagerly awaited views then it is instantly retracted by my alter ego, noimmigration1. People are being confused by this to the extent that I have had PMs congratulating me on my more reasoned and compassionate approach to the Polish invasion of Govan. I have not changed my hard line stance at all but the antics of the stalker are leading to a perception that I have. Please, please have this impostor removed before it affects my long term mental stability.

Noimmi

Dear noimmigration,

Instead of wallowing in self pity, why not just change your user name to noimmitation? As for the danger of your real views being ignored I think it is safe to say that this is not a widespread problem. Most of us understand your position all too well.

Dear Omnibus Edition

We, the undersigned, have long had concerns about the inherent national bias within the Omnibus Edition. Whilst the coverage has, just about, managed to incorporate reviews of matters concerning Poland and the Polish people, it continues to exhibit a distinct bias towards the English when discussing British affairs to the extent that the number of times reference to any of us as individuals within the Edition can be counted on the fingers of one hand. We would just like to remind your author that without the contributions of our compatriots he would not be able to watch the television, receive the gift for the man who has everything (penicillin) or pop out in this inclement weather for a game of curling. Can we please have your personal reassurance that future editions will include a more balanced view of the contributions of both us and our fellow countrymen?

Yours sincerely

Seanus
Scotjock
skotja2007
dtaylor

Dear Jocks,

This is indeed a serious allegation. I have reviewed all of the posts in this thread and others where our author has been active of late. On the face of it your allegations do appear to have some substance. The only reference that I can find is where Szarlotka spoke at length about the good things that come out of Scotland in which he listed whisky, The Proclaimers, Big Country and the M74. After due consideration we have jointly agreed to take your views into account in future Editions. This would be made easier if you could use your undoubted influence to remove your fellow Scot from Number 10 before his antics further damage our health and wealth, PS – are there any Scots actually not in Poland these days?

Dear Editor,

I find it difficult to understand why there has been no mention of my upcoming marriage to a fellow Forum member within the Omnibus Edition. I can think of no other item that comes close to this in importance but the silence has been deafening. Surely this oversight needs to be addressed?

Regards

PolishgirlTX

Dear Supreme Moderator,

I think it is safe to say that we are unsure as to whether the marriage is for real. As a long standing member of the Forum you will realise that there have been a number of spoof threads along these lines before. If this is not a spoof then please accept both our apologies and congratulations. We will be the first in line to present you both with a small gift – I hear you can get Waterford Crystal cheap these days.

We hope to have the next edition of the Omnibus Edition with you shortly.......

Off-Topic / PF - The Omnibus Edition [1502]


Your stories are not too shabby either!

Since I am in pre skiing jubilant mode I can tell you one last story. Two years ago in Chamonix on the lads escape weekend we got into a drinking game with some Russians. The last challenge was to dring a glass of Vodka that was on the floor without using your hands ,only your mouth. We had various tries lying on the floor but spilling loads of the stuff. The Russians then intoduced their champion, a very attractive brunette who was about 6 feet 2 inches tall with the longest legs I've ever seen. She proceeeded to do the splits and leaning forwards at the end picked up the glass in her mouth and drank it down in one. She then proceeded to do it three more times by which time most of the blokes in the bar were jibbering wrecks.

Off-Topic / PF - The Omnibus Edition [1502]


Learning to ski is one of the best times of all in skiing. Being taught by a drop dead goregous girl would be even better;) My first ski instructor was a six foot tall Royal Marine NCO with all the charm and patience of a Mafia hitman.

Off-Topic / PF - The Omnibus Edition [1502]

I'm out of here this evening. Talk amongst yourselves for a while.

Please, supreme being - let me return unscathed this year.

Off-Topic / PF - The Omnibus Edition [1502]

Ha ha. I know. It is the main reason why I'm barred from diving in the Red Sea without my 'minder' being there. No lads trips to Sharm for me!

Off-Topic / PF - The Omnibus Edition [1502]

Or the hubbies were out scuba diving at the time....