Love / I need advice: divorce and my rights as a father in Poland [165]

Well, Softsong I understand what You're getting at.

In my humble opinion if one gets involved with a Polish ( or any other ) Princess ( don't see why one should get into a long term relationship with one personally, but hey, love works in mysterious ways and all that ) the only way to keep this thing working is to play the bluffing/haggling game. Constantly. Every other ******* day. Yup, I wouldn't have the patience.

But it seems far to late for that in this case, he's been too good for her for too long and she's pretty much at the "You do what You're told or else" stage right now.

Edit: She holds all the cards right now,

Hardly. I can think of at least a few very dick moves to pull on a women one's basically paying the bills for and allowing to live in one's house. I'm not suggesting he goes for them though, because their dick moves and he doesn't sound like a dick. <grin>

Also, Zimmy makes some very valid points up there - most women these days will feel perfectly ok with using the system to basically screw their former hubbies out of whatever they can and will easily justify such behaviour to themselves. Polish women are hardly an exception here.

Still, it all boils down to:

a) Don't go to Poland,

b) Make sure You do what You can to prevent her from flying the child off to Poland,

c) Lawyer up and fight it in a British court.

Love / I need advice: divorce and my rights as a father in Poland [165]

My wife just said she wants me to go to a solicitor to sign an agreement giving her rights to remove our child from UK..

ROTFL... Is she planning to ask for Your kidneys next?

You've been too good for her for way too long.

Lawyer up immediately.

Edit: And do follow up on Delphiandomines advice. Even if You don't sign over any rights she stil will be able to try to make a run for it.

Love / I need advice: divorce and my rights as a father in Poland [165]

Kurt, some great advice from Delphiandomine.

I was being funny on purpose, sometimes humour is the best way to convey a message.

Love / I need advice: divorce and my rights as a father in Poland [165]

Please familiarize Yourself with the term "Polish Princess".

You really should, after all, You're living with one under the same roof.

Anyway, my opinion is that You shouldn't, under any circumstances, move to Poland with her. You'll suffer financially ( most likely ), You'll have little or no support network in case Your wife goes for that divorce and being a non-Polish male in a Polish family court is pretty much an equivalent of walking into a jail cell full of African-American gang members while wearing a white Ku Klux Klan suit and singing a country song.

Your choice though.

Love / I need advice: divorce and my rights as a father in Poland [165]

Well, we know that she calls divorce lawyers the moment he says something she doesn't like.

Strikes me rather as a difficult type to reason with.

Love / I need advice: divorce and my rights as a father in Poland [165]

Maybe you should force her to get a job?

Force her?

How on God's green earth?

Love / I need advice: divorce and my rights as a father in Poland [165]

1) Harry, I'm not qualified to speak on what grants one the right to reside in Poland. I have a ( albeit a bit dusty ) Polish passport, thus I never had to solve any such conundrums myself.

You are indeed correct that it seems very logical that a guy who is a father of a Polish child and is employed / has company ownership in Poland should get residency.

However:

a) I've seen more than my fair share of absurd/corrupt court/administrative decisions during my time in Poland.

b) Based on having fathered a child with a Polish woman and having filed company registration papers with the local registry You could have probably 100.000 Nigerians applying for a Polish residency tomorrow.

Sooner or later someone in Poland will take notice.

2) Which swings both ways:

Everything I've been told by Polish men seems to point towards one conclusion --> Polish family courts usually swing only one way. Not in favour of the father.

3) Sadly the child support case would be held in Poland if the mother lived there.

there is nothing stopping her from taking the kid to Poland and filing for divorce while you are not there

Hardly. There's a little something called a Strasbourg convention ( or some other name, family law isn't my strong suit ). Basically it allows the person whose partner took off and left their country of mutually agreed upon residence with their child to sue said partner in that very country. That reduces the involvement of the organs of the country to which that person fled to excecuting an order issued by a foreign court.

So she wouldn't be able to sue anyone for child support in Poland effectively, because after he files it in London the Polish police will be obliged to put the kid on a plane back to Blighty.

Rather handy and not really liked by Polish women too much. Kurt, check up on that convention and have a London family lawyer fill You in on the details.

4)

Harry i want to support my daughter.. but as you know i have my own business, my wife said something to me in passing, the law in poland works, if we are divorce i will have to pay child support which is standard but also lets say if i rent a flat in kazimierz for example i will also need to make sure that my ex-wife and my daughter will live in the same standards.. do u know anything about that? so what i have to pay child support and pay her rent?

The questions You ask Kurt begin requiring some expertise in Polish family law. So if we start to get deeper into that stuff I'm afraid I'll have to start invoicing You.

Just kidding :-)

You are indeed correct that there's a number of provisions in Polish family law that grant a divorced spouse and the kids some rights of that kind.

Look up article 60 of the Polish family code, it contains at least two ways for a divorced spouse to get on-top-of-the-child-alimony payments from her ex-hubby ( depnds on circumstances of a given case ).

Also, I wouldn't be surprised if there was some extra provision in the custody over the children / alimony to children part which would pertain to having the kid live in a prior-to-divorce standards, which of course would open the floodgates for all sorts of claims from wifey.

5) so if i have offended any Polish woman i do apologize its not my intention.

There's hardly any need for apologies mate, especially when in Your case it seems rather clear that Your wife is trying to bend You over the table and stick one up the poop chute, metaphorically speaking.

6) Based on all of what You wrote Your fears are justified. And calls to atty's the moment You say something she doesn't take well is...well, just low. And fits a certain stereotype about Eastern European women rather nicely.

If I were in Your shoes I'd not move to Poland, period.

his same polish wife has not worked since we have been married and we live in a 4 bedroo house and i pay all the bills and food etc. but for her its still not enough..

Oh, yeah, missed that part. Is Your wife really trying to live up to the stereotype?

Because it surely sounds like it.

Too good for a 4 bedroom house and bills?

Ditch the *****, that's what I'd do.

Love / I need advice: divorce and my rights as a father in Poland [165]

A Polish girl screwing her boyo for money or exploiting him to get more? Calling attorneys behind his back?

Impossible, that would really be a first.

No sir, You're just paranoid, Polish women are nothing like that they're too proud/independent/strong/insert some other crap to do that.

Now, since I'm done with the sarcasm:

1) Polish family courts are amongst the most biased in Europe. 9/10 judges there are female and the rulings unfortunately reflect that.

For example, when deciding upon the amount of alimony, Polish courts will routinely ignore any and all documents proving how much a guy earns.

They will, however, base their decision upon on how much they think a man in that profession working where a guy works can earn.

Yup, You heard correctly, in Your case You'll have a Polish judge, a crusty old lady raised in the communist times, decide how much a "self-employed energy broker" can earn in London then using it as a basis for Your alimony payments.

Not funny at all.

2) The bias mentioned above applies to all aspects of family law: custody, common residence, etc. Frankly speaking, Poland is probably the worst country to get divorced in in Europe for a guy.

3) I am from outside the EU currently a resident of UK if i go to Poland I will apply for Polishresidency my wife said ok if we move we can live seperately and we can remain married on paper to allow me to apply for the residency because we have a 3 year old daughter.

Have You perhaps thought about how weak will that move to Poland make Your position when compared to Your wife's?

You might have a bit of a problem fighting a nasty divorce case if You're being deported to Africa at the same time.

Just saying.

4) My fear is that once we are in Poland that my wife could turn around and screw me by exploiting me to pay massive amounts of child support and demand more things because if i dont she will file for divorce and then i will lose my daughter because i wll have to leave Poland.

Oh yes, You've thought about it.

Your fears are justified.

5)and this morning she has been on the phone etc to loads of solicitors saying she wants this amount of money and this and that.. this was merely because i said im thinking going to Poland with her given our situation is not the best thing for me.. I dont speak Polish and dont know anyone there.

She sounds like a real charmer, that Polish wife of Yours.

My advice is to stand Your ground, don't move to Poland and fight the divorce case in Britain. This way You'll have a better chance for a good ruling and won't have to worry about being deported.

6) So what are my rights as a foreigner married to a polish national and we have a kid, if we get to poland and she decides she wants to screw me, will i be able to stay in Poland to be with my daughter?

You'd have to ask a good family/immigration lawyer about that, but here's the kicker.

Deportation procedure can be ( not that it always is ) fast, strict and harsh.

Establishing Your right of residence based on the fact that You fathered a child with a Polish woman ( Poland could easily get probably 20 million residents based on that ) may be:

a) impossible ( ask a family/immigration lawyer in Poland )

b) tricky

c) time consuming

d) a very long process.

If I were to bet I'd say You'll get deported way before an appropriate organ in Poland grants You said right of residence. Especially if Your wife writes every institution possible about what kind of an animal You are and how You beat her and the child with a tire iron.

Anyways, best of luck, You'll need it.

Love / Goal: Meet a nice Polish girl! [60]

Lol, aren't you with an English dude? Not a Polish "bloke"?

My guess is she wrote that because she's not happy with the "competition" --> other Polish ladies coming over, looking for an English gent.

She feels threatened by it.

Justysia - guys visit Poland, former Eastern Bloc and Russia for fishing trips, because they still find women there easier to impress than their local beauties.

Cold hard facts.

Love / Goal: Meet a nice Polish girl! [60]

I'll have to disagree.

1) Yup, Warsaw girls too. Not as common as 20 years ago, still not that difficult to find.

2) Only because hot women are 20 times more common here than in the USA.

Can't say I agree. Perhaps there was a case to be made about women in the Eastern Block being slimmer ( not prettier ) in the 1970 or 1980 when Polish women did not stuff themselves with fast foods and other stuff that's full of chemicals.

Now things have pretty much evened out. I see the same amount of fat asses in Warsaw, London and NY.

Love / Goal: Meet a nice Polish girl! [60]

I mean, how does this work. You go to Warsaw, walk around not being able to communicate, find some random Polish girl, convince her to come back to the USA with you....forever.....and marry her?

How long do you plan on being in Warsaw? You have a job, can't be gone from that too long.

When you meet this girl, I'm assuming you need to tell her right away, "I'm looking for a wife to take back to America with me." I mean, how friggin' creepy is that? Yeah, that should land you a real winner.

It worked exactly like this before the iron curtain came down and well into the 1990's --> come over, speak English, tell everyone You're American/English, show off a little ( I do mean little back in the day ) $$. Then all one had to worry about was avoiding being crushed or smothered to death by Polish girls that were basically all over You, jumping up and down and competing for Your attention. Single, boyfriend, fiancee, married, 20, 30, 40 - made no difference, there were basically throngs of women wanting to get out of Poland and considering a "Westerner" their life's goal and meal ticket.

Ask me how I know :-)

Same thing all over the former Eastern Block, to be fair.

If I were to look for a comparison now... I guess Cuba would be a good place to name. If You come over and happen to have an EU passport ( Americans can't visit Cuban resorts if I understand correctly ) there will be women basically throwing themselves at You to have a reason to leave Fidel's blessed paradise.

Regarding Your questions --> my advice is go for it. Sure, 1989 was 20 years ago and things have somewhat improved in Poland ( Polish people no longer make 10 bucks a month ), so it is unlikely You'll have a group of 20-something local hotties running after You all the time and begging for Your attention.

But some of the stuff I wrote about still applies. A lot of Polish women still get a bad case of weak knees the moment they hear English and a lot of them still consider getting married with a foreigner their life's crowning achievement. So, if You play Your cards rights Your chances of scoring with a hot broad are probably 20 times better in Warsaw than they are wherever You are at in the States right now.

I am so sick of American women with their lies and infidelity!

Polish women don't have a particularly great reputation in that area.

Some of my acquaitances from the 1980's and early 1990's that "imported" a Polish wife found out about it the hard way.

Just saying.

I'm in the process of learning the language.

No need for it apart from a "Jak sie masz" and a few other basics. Trust me, the girls You're targeting will be more than thrilled to learn English for You.

Shouldn't be too difficult, right?

Shouldn't be.

Best of luck.

Love / Do Polish men like to sleep with other men? [79]

Are you going around putting your ear to the door of every flat in town....?

Nah, she probably lives in the poor part of town, next door to a bedsit that the landlord rents out to 6 polish plumbers/construction workers. They drink vodka well into the night then get up at 5 to get to the site and she thinks they're playing anal astronauts.

I think a lot of gay polish men have come to ruin the u.k.

Someone's being highly homophopic.

All things considered, I don't think I want to know what the threadstarter's mind comes up with on the more "kinky" days if that whole "tight trousers" / "bend over when you see another male" is standard issue stuff :-)

Life / Uptight Poles [262]

Westerners are way more criminal oriented, the women way more slutty, the people way more unhappy & uptight.

yet, they blame it on Poles?

I don't understand Westerners LOL I think they are idiots for the most part.

PolskiMoc - weren't You banned a short while ago or something for posting pretty much the same nonsense as above?

"Criminal oriented" - Poles are often considered ( an ugly stereotype that unfortunately can be traced back to some criminal activity of the Polish shortly after the fall of the iron curtain ) thieves in Germany and Austria. Car thieves, to be more specific.

So here I am telling You what I told one German about 15 years ago after he made a general comment about all Polish people being criminals - "Shut Your hole, You sir don't know shit".

the women way more slutty - Of course. That's why frenchforums.com or italianforums.com is simply swamped by these ads from gentlemen originally from third-world countries that are offering Italian or French women a place to stay in the U.K. if they are "nice" to them. And that is also why no such ads can be found on polishforums.com.

people way more unhappy & uptight. - yes, especially Swedes, Norwegians and the Swiss. Damn, these are some uptight and unhappy bastards, the whole lot of them.

You are not adding anything to the topic with Your crude generalizations.

Love / Expat marrying Polish - honest experiences [38]

Or she could be Pakistani hoping to marry a French citizen from Mauritius in Poland and live there happily ever after.

That's the point, she hasn't told us ****.

If she's a Polish girl looking to import her foreign boyfriend ( hopefully from a non-terror supporting country ) she can probably find throngs of Polish women who have done that and wouldn't have to ask here.

Hell, but what do I know, right?

Law / Applying for Polish citizenship through marriage. [116]

The citizenship gets revoked and the offending foreigner is fed to the wild "Zubrs" of the Bialowieska Forest.

Humour aside, Poland has joined the EU in 2004 and has to play by the same rules as anybody else in the civilized world.

Your citizenship, regardless of the way You obtained it, stays with You.

Love / Expat marrying Polish - honest experiences [38]

Lodz the Boat is on my ignore list - can't see what he wrote and I'm not that really interested.

123 - Madam, as the old saying goes, if one person tells you that you have the ears of an ass, pay no attention. If two should tell you, go get yourself a saddle.

Your thread is slightly confusing to say the least - many have pointed that out.

If You want to get some legitimate, honest and precise answers ( which I, for one, was willing to provide ) You'd be wise to make it slightly less confusing, less about us guessing what Your situation is and a bit more specific. Otherwise You'll just get some outdated, straight out of the 1990's horror stories which likely will be largely irrelevant in Your particular case.

Love / Expat marrying Polish - honest experiences [38]

"do i sound like i care about Schengen and visas here?"

You sound like You don't know what You're talking about or what You want.

As was pointed out to You by some other posters - the assumption that You were/are planning to marry a Polish bloke was a very logical one, given the title of the thread, the phrasing of a question and so forth.

If You just want to hear some more horror stories what's it like for a poor non-white person in Poland or some generalizations ( hitman ) about it I'm pretty sure You could have asked more candidly ( different thread title perhaps ).

The other thread - in which many people were rather wary of You - was about You asking someone to bring a ( non-specified at first ) item of luggage with them through customs and to transport it by plane from Poland to India or vice versa ( don't remember ). If I recall correctly someone mentioned that the thread should perhaps be reported to some form of authorities, so don't be surprised that I wasn't over them moon with joy about it either.

Hitman - a while ago there was a post here about British stag parties in Cracow and me ( as well as a number of other people ) told the guys who were describing said parties as groups hell hounds from planet Neptune that they were really generalizing.

So, same goes for You - "pack of wolves?" Really? I have ample opportunity to observe the behaviour of youths in both U.K. and Poland and have yet to notice anything that would make the two groups very different.

Love / Expat marrying Polish - honest experiences [38]

Any inputs appreciated!

Well, I guess I missed the asterisk and the small print saying that mine wasn't.

Sorry :-)

Midas - First of all, did i ever say i have a polish boyfriend?

No, You didn't, but if You don't it is rather baffling why You ask the whole question here in the first place.

The title of the thread is "Expat marrying Polish - honest experiences" and the question You want answered is "what it is like to be in an interracial marriage here in Poland"... You have "female" listed as gender... Am I missing something here? I'm not going to be a dick and suggest that You don't understand the phrases You use ( like "interracial marriage" ).

Frankly speaking - if You wanted information for Yourself You'd honestly provide the precious few details I kindly asked for and the fact that You don't do that ( throwing odd verbal jabs instead ) suggests that something fishy is going on.

So, just to be on the safe side - if You're Indian and planning to marry a friendly and well-hung African gentleman from the Ivory Coast in Poland neither of You will get Schengen visas, right to stay in Poland or Polish citizenship out of that deal.

Sorry.

Love / Expat marrying Polish - honest experiences [38]

Where are You planning to live in Poland ( location will make a world of a difference ).

Where are You from ( my guess is India from another thread, but I want to confirm ).

How educated is Your Polish boyfriend's family?

Clear that up and will try to give You a frank answer.

Real Estate / Stan deweloperski vs stan surowy [developing or undeveloping property state] [36]

Ahh, so different developers have different definitions?

How do I put it mildly so some people don't get offended...

There are "developers" out there in Poland that will try to **** You on Your hard-bought flat/house numerous times, "stan deweloperski" included.

Just make sure that what precisely constitutes "stan deweloperski" is somewhere in written form ( like in Your contract ).

Real Estate / Stan deweloperski vs stan surowy [developing or undeveloping property state] [36]

Deweloperski vs surowy - while You were given the answer, please double check what Your local, Polish developer means by "deweloperski" so You don't get a nasty surprise at the end of the whole process.

Love / Foreign Men and Polish Girls for Citizenship [59]

stop going to UK AND EU countries like germany

Can someone ban this guy?

He's obviously a troll.

Clue: Poland/Italy/Uk/Germany = European Union.

pakistan = not European Union.

turkey = not European Union.

Genealogy / Jolanta born in Wusz. Help me find my true love from 23 years ago - PLEASE! [13]

Yeah, it could be Lodz.

My tip is - visit the Polish facebook rip-off. You can find it here: nk.pl

Register and You'll get the search function. Who knows. Might work if she's not a "Kowalska". Remember the abbreviated, often used version of her name which she could have used there is "Jola".

Polonia / Anyone travelling from Warsaw to New Delhi willing to take some of my belongings (photos)? [30]

Honestly, if he/she finds someone dumb enough to fall for it despite what we wrote here it will be karma and natural selection if that person gets "butt focked", sold into white slavery, arrested or drowned in the rose-smelling Ganges <grin>

Polonia / Anyone travelling from Warsaw to New Delhi willing to take some of my belongings (photos)? [30]

No need

I wouldn't even carry someone's jeans in my luggage on an airplane. If I don't know the person that is, of course. There have been cases where for example heroin is washed INTO a jeans. The person who is carrying the thing doesn't notice, but some sweet, cute little cuddly dog on the airport does. It starts scratching its paws on the suitcase and the one whose name is on it, gets a rather nasty interrogation in a small office on the airport by some people who don't seem too happy with the person in question.

Not to mention that certain organizations that routinely move drugs across the borders will often throw in what can be called a "red herring" on the day another, bigger shipment is moving through. They'll set some poor ******* up for the fall, so the authorities are busy with dealing with him and look the other way.

Is heroine or Cocaine popular in Poland ?

Dunno about heroin, but cocaine is rather popular in certain circles in Warsaw. A far cry from London town though.

Polonia / Anyone travelling from Warsaw to New Delhi willing to take some of my belongings (photos)? [30]

Cut the bull****.

I haven't called You any names, if I did so - please quote them.

Frankly speaking, Your "offer", "favour request", whatever, sounds like something that can land someone in prison for a very long time ( just the other day I read about a book written by a Pole who ended up in a Thai jail for quite a few years due to some similiar **** ), so don't be surprised with the reaction You got here.

You can legally carry someone else's belongings - I have personally seen a person with a valid ticket being turned away from check-in after she confirmed she took someone else's luggage with them and did not pack it personally. It was a trans-atlantic flight, don't recall the airline.

Edit2: 123, sir, madam, whoever You are - plz don't pm me any further, I will not change my point of view.

Polonia / Anyone travelling from Warsaw to New Delhi willing to take some of my belongings (photos)? [30]

If I understand correctly, you don't trust a courier, but you trust an anonymous person off a forum?

Nail on the head. Anyone doing that risks serious possible jail time.

"Madam" go find Your suckers somewhere else, this offer of Yours smells worse than the Ganges in summertime.

Life / Uptight Poles [262]

Outside of that if you make a friend with Pole they'll stick with you through thick or thin, even if you don't think you're that close. Where as in the US friends come and friends go.

A generalization if there ever was one.

Life / Uptight Poles [262]

Are you on the same page as the rest of us Midas? ;) - totally, I've just seen too many rich doctors in Poland to have any sympathy for a Polish med student complaining and whining <grins>

OK, just checking. ;)

Life / Uptight Poles [262]

A good orthopedist in Poland can make 15k net/ easily. Dunno about Trauma, I never had any dealings with them while in Poland.

And if You're that money-oriented ( just look at all these numbers in Your posts ) I can personally point You towards a hospital near the German border in Poland where they will pay You within the realm of 5-7k PLN net while You're going through specialization in orthopedics ( on a basis of a civil contract, they replace a lot of hips of German pensioners and simply need the manpower ). Head doctor is a dick though, supposedly.

salary about 200,000 up to 1,200,000usd/year

If You honestly think that if You emigrate to U.S. then someone will quickly allow You, a guy "fresh off the boat", so to speak, to enter a lucrative private partnership ( that's where doctors make the money similiar to what You describe ) without having tons ( I really mean tons, like in 30 years worth of ) of U.S. medical experience - well, if You honestly think so then You're, quite simply, delusional.

Not to mention the 1.000.000 $ per annum, or even anything above 500.000 $ per annum is usually reserved for top-of-the-foodchain Ivy League educated doctors working in private partnerships in one of the two following fields: orthopedic surgery and plastic surgery.

Good luck getting into either of these in the U.S., You might as well be trying to get into the NFL.

Are you on the same page as the rest of us Midas? ;)