News / Independence Blood Bath on Polish roads over the long weekend. [69]

The solution, as it was in all previous countries, was to use shame and embarrassment to get people to conform. Once the general tone of society moves against drink-driving, most people (aside from the uncultured few) get the message and stay off the drink.

Drink-driving killed plenty of people in the West twenty, thirty, forty years ago, when methods to catch drunks were much less sophisticated. But stronger fines, enhanced police presence and fining alcohol sellers (pubs) didn't work. Shame did.

But still, in Poland, when Wujek Andrzej stumbles away from the family party clutching his keys, maybe your grandmother will say "are you sure you can drive ok?" and he'll murmur or roar "I'll be fine! What's half a litre of vodka to a man like me?!" And then drive home, while everyone else around the table twists their napkins in their hands and says "heh, Uncle Wujek, he'll never change, we need his generation to die before Poland modernises."

It's a pathetic story I've seen too many times at too many Polish celebrations.

Work / Polish Residency Cards. Is there a Permanent ID card for Foreigners? [37]

To bring this up to date: the rysopis field isn't required, but AKTUALNIE documents aren't. The woman moo'ed this at me repeatedly when she saw my proof-of-self-employment was dated to the beginning of 2009, and she didn't like that at all. She grudgingly accepted my application, but told me to bring a new copy from the Urzad Gmina ASAP, which I did.

So consider that a caution; all supporting documents must be no older than six months, or it will delay your application.

And, in true Bureacrat style, having received four copies of the application, four copies of my passport, my meldunek, evidence and old karty pobytu, they still managed to get my name wrong on the new form...

Work / What qualifications are needed for English teachers in Poland? [49]

90% of Native Speakers here are backpackers, who came for the cheap women and beer. They f*ck the locals both literally and metaphorically, then move on when they realise they have no prospects here.

Schools exploit these sorts of teachers by offering them as "conversation", which is about all they're good for considering they don't know the basics of grammar, or how to regulate or control their speech depending on the level of the student, or fundamental lesson planning.

Unfortunately, the industry (if you can call it that) in Poland doesn't differentiate between these types of teachers, and those with qualifications, experience and an attitude of professionalism. The ones who just want beer money force down the prices of a lesson, meaning that unless you've been here for years and have built up a network of business clients, you'll be on the bottom rung regardless of what certificates you hold.

Having said that, a CELTA or equivalent (NOT a four-week online course) is the sort of thing top schools are looking for, as well as a Bachelors degree in something practical. Don't think about working for the state sector unless you have particularly masochistic tendencies.

Life / What makes a "real" Pole? [33]

zetigrek, I'm only teasing ;) Joseph Conrad, Gunter Grass, the footballers in the German team; they're Polish or not, depending on what's come out in their past.

Life / What do you like about Poland? [100]


The word "tradition" is an ugly one; it's used to put anything your forefathers did into a place beyond criticism. Racism and homophobia are traditional, after all...

I like the Polish "won't lay down and take it" attitude; they'll always fight back. And I like the "no fake emotions" element of the national psyche too; if a Pole sees something idiotic, he points it out to the idiot immediately, with no softening words.

Aside from the stunning geography and weather (which Poland shares with its neighbours) I'm not too sure if there's anything specifically Polish I like about living here. Most probably, it's the feeling of watching a country grow up and work its way through an enormous identity crisis. This blossoming maturity makes me feel a bit like a distant relative seeing his niece go off to high school (for want of a better euphemism).

Life / What makes a "real" Pole? [33]

If he achieved something monumentous (Nobel Prize, amazing invention, Oscar winner) and spent more than 36hours of his life inside the Polish border, he's a Pole ;)

Language / What is a good English/Polish online translation company [11]

I co-operate and represent a number of freelance translators in Poland under the heading English Language Services, pairing you with a translator specialised in the field relevant to your translation (marketing, banking, sales, engineering, diplomacy.)

You can PM me your details, and I can get in touch for a consultation if you're interested in a professional level of service rather than "mates translates."

Language / which 'if' (jeśli, gdyż or gdyby) use in conversation? [13]

wiewieros, that was an excellent explanation, thank you. I haven't done conditional structures in Polish yet, but I've taught them for years in English so your explanation made perfect sense.

Life / Poles don't know how to celebrate the Polish Independence Day? [57]


The notion of partying IN DIRECT REFERENCE to the preceding paragraph about national holidays and celebrations thereof. Of course, be offended, but please work out what your complaint is. The post is really very clear what I was referring to.

I don't deny the terrible reputation Britons have in terms of their Friday night behaviour, but fortunately, what with not having their own national holidays to celebrate (most people here have never heard of Guy Fawkes' Night or Hogmanay), they haven't developed a national holiday around being a p!sshead in quite the way the Irish have.

This post, or the preceding posts, make no reference to how Britons, Poles or the Irish behave on any normal day of the year. Just to make that clear.

Life / Poles don't know how to celebrate the Polish Independence Day? [57]


If we're talking of national celebrations, St Patrick's Day does have the monopoly on drunken raucousness, yes.

Life / All Saints' Day in Poland - Commemoration or Carnival? [44]

As another poster linked to, similar things were sold in Zgorzelec and Oswiecim; this isn't an isolated thing. I have no problem with the commercialism of these festivals, especially Christmas. None of these ceremonies have had anything to do with peace, goodwill to fellow men, forgiveness, repentance or family for decades, so it can be sold to the lowest bidder as far as I'm concerned.


I think it's more like 5000zl at the moment. But if you compare that to the 1000zl gratuity for having a child, it shows you what the priorities in this nation are. 1000zl when you're born, 5000zl when you die... that's simply backwards. I understand the political reasons behind it (it wins the vote of the pensioners, who vote more than young people do), but it's unjustifiable from any angle.

Life / All Saints' Day in Poland - Commemoration or Carnival? [44]

For those with negative comments (Bolle/Pawian); I'm not trying to suggest that this is a celebration in any way, and you have your right to doubt what I've said. But the fact remains that, at the Uprising Cemetery in Warsaw, one could buy candy floss, a battery-operated Barbie, and helium balloons alongside the flowers and candles.

The hot dogs, as people have said, can feed a traveller weary from visiting four cemeteries in one day, and the Panska Skórka shuts up the whining kids, but the other stuff? The Pole I accompanied found it extremely distasteful for such a somber day.

Law / Downfall of motor industry in Poland [30]


Denmark? Portugal? Ireland? (hahaha, no, the Delorean doesn't count.)

The days of small-time hand-wrought motors died with World War II; harping back to the days of solid chassis, overhead-valve engines and dynamos is a lost cause. Old men in overalls with toothbrush moustaches will never be able to compete with the Volkswagen Audi Group and to be honest, I wouldn't want them to. Have you ever driven a Syrena? Seriously? Mine was the most hateful piece of machinery ever constructed, and was put together in 1982; the same time as Volkswagen were making the Golf GTI and Renault the 5 (Supercinq). Even the Austin Metro was a better car, and that was built during yet another British bankruptcy.

Poland is a very creative nation, especially when it comes to getting around laws, but technical excellence and engineering are not key principles in this country, fortunately.

Law / Downfall of motor industry in Poland [30]

Polonius, that sort of practice has been in manufacturing for centuries. And be fair, without the special relationship between Italy and Poland both before and after the war, there'd never have been the Maly and Duzy Fiats, or the "Blekitna Fala" trains.

pl.wikipedia.org/wiki/SD80

Bear in mind, FSO sold its plans for the Warszawa 210 to Wartburg, and used the funds to buy those Fiat plans for the 125/126. Deals like this aren't always bad...

Law / Downfall of motor industry in Poland [30]

What about the stolen Polish design that Renault have been using for a while (Beskid 106/Renault Twingo)? Or those handmade sports cars? I'm terrible with names, but I'm sure car people will know who/what I'm talking about

Life / Poles don't know how to celebrate the Polish Independence Day? [57]


This is the nail whose head you have firmly hit. Poles don't celebrate anything; they've got an Independence Day, a Constitution Day, a Saint's/Military Victory Day AND a few others and the only time you see them outside, en masse, is when someone has died.

This isn't a criticism of Polish culture at all; I far prefer the outdoor sobriety and indoor vodka-guzzling than the notion of "partying" the Irish seem to have exported; vomiting on the street at any given opportunity.

If you came to Poland for fun times, prepare to be sorely disappointed.

Life / Legal Graffiti Walls in Poland? [45]

If you're in Warsaw, the big place is along ul. Pulawska, by the horse-racing stadium. Even then, though, I don't know if it's a case of "authorised location" or just lazy policing.

Law / Downfall of motor industry in Poland [30]


Out of all those names, you've only actually identified two companies; the BMC/British Leyland group which contained the marques of Austin, Morris, MG and Wolseley (along with Vanden-Plas and Riley), and the Rootes Group of Humber and Hillman (also Singer and Sumbeam.) Both companies were crippled by badge-engineering their product in the same marketplace, without cutting down on management, parts supply, servicing or sales. Essentially, all six BMC brands were competing with eachother to sell the same car. This is why, despite the ADO16 being Britain's biggest selling car for 12 out of 13 years, Ford calculated that the company made a loss of 90 pounds on EVERY SINGLE UNIT. That is mismanagement on a catastrophic level.


It was Henry Ford himself who said "If I'd asked my customers what they wanted, they'd have said a faster horse." The main issue of American construction is that, even five years ago, it was taking them 40 hours to produce each car when Toyota was achieving the same feat in only 25. That's monumental inefficiency, mainly caused by union demands. The current Ford boss has managed to fire 180,000 people, shut down a number of factories and got production up to 85% efficiency, but it's taken this crisis to get them that far and even then their cars aren't exactly technological marvels.

If you compare Polish vehicle construction during Communism (FSO, FSM, FSR, FST, FSD), and compared that to the number of foreign factories and how many people they employ, you might be pleasantly surprised. There's no need for Poland to have a specifically Polish car when, in a few years time, its roads will be boringly European and as such, will suit all the blandwagons currently being produced by Fiat and Opel inside Poland.

USA, Canada / Polish Food - 40 flavors of pierogies in the US [113]

with strawberries?

Work / Polish Residency Cards. Is there a Permanent ID card for Foreigners? [37]

Yes, I've had that before. Something to do with me abandoning my Syrena Bosto in a Czech car park....

Still, I have no idea what word they want me to put in this section. Kaukaski?

Life / Tricks & Dodges (The Poles are nothing if not inventive) [26]

The phone booth trick was to hold a recorder to the earpiece when you put in your money. back in the days of pulse-tone technology, the earpiece would play a small "blip" noise, which you could then play back down the microphone to trick the phone that you had paid. Put in ten coins, record the tones, then cancel the call to get your coins back. You then just had to play that recording whenever you picked up the phone, and you got free calls.

I don't think it's worked since about 1993 though.

Life / Tricks & Dodges (The Poles are nothing if not inventive) [26]

because washing-up liquid contains salt, which is why you shouldn't use it to lubricate certain rubber components on cars (you're rubbing salt into the metal; guaranteed rusty death!)

In terms of cars; kasza, breadcrumbs or rice mixed with olive oil and smeared on someone else's car will absolutely ruin the paintwork when the birds peck the hell out of the bonnet (hood) and roof, and sh!t on the rest. It leaves no traces and it's inexpensive (unlike other paint ruiners.)

Work / Polish Residency Cards. Is there a Permanent ID card for Foreigners? [37]

Yes, I'm still dealing with the office here regarding this whole process. I've got the form, to be completed in quadriplicate (really!), and the question that's got me stumped is "rysopis". They want my eye colour and height, and now they want a general physical description. Szczuply, przystojny... what are they expecting of me?

Oh, that and the rather charming 1zl processing fee. This whole process has changed a bit in the last five years.

Law / Millennium Bank Complaint (their entire functional website is in Polish!) [15]

My only problem is that their online stuff doesn't work with Google Chrome. Other than that, and some dubious content in their mortgage contracts, they've been a fine bank for me, and I can always get English language service with them. Been with them for four years now without a hiccup.

Work / Polish Residency Cards. Is there a Permanent ID card for Foreigners? [37]

any idea on how that's done, delphi? I know I need to prove I've been here five years, but the woman at the Urzad said categorically that without an ID card, it can't be done.

I only have my UK Passport and Driver's Licence.

Travel / Getting from Krakow to Warsaw [99]


Didn't mention; I plan to make use of my Saturday, so I don't want to stay in Krakow a minute longer than I have to. It's just a balance of how-soon-can-I-leave to how-exhausted-will-it-make-me.

I've only used Polish buses for going from Krakow to Krynice in the winter; that was a painfully slow journey. Does anyone have any good experiences they can relate on intercity bussing?

Travel / Getting from Krakow to Warsaw [99]

Merged: Warsaw-Krakow-Warsaw transport advice?

I've got my ticket to this Friday's Sacrum Profanum concert in Krakow, and I'm weighing up my transport options:

a) Drive: 4 hours each way, minimum, in Friday evening traffic. Exhausting and expensive, considering the fuel economy of my car. But it means I can return whatever time I like

b) Train: quick, although the concert is nowhere near the train station. But I can relax, not have to concentrate on the trip, and it's cheaper. But there's no return train after the gig; first train leaves Krakow Glowny at 5:30am, so I'd have to occupy myself for those hours or try and sleep at the train station (not worth finding a hotel just for three-four hours.)

Are there any other options here that I'm missing? Night buses? I'd hitch-hike, but I don't fancy my chances at 1am...

Travel / photographing industrial wasteland in Poland? [7]

If you search for Urban Exploration you should find quite a large number of galleries of already-photographed stuff to give you some ideas. Every major city in Poland will have a decaying industrial area of some kind, and the UrBex and Geocache guys (google them) regularly highlight these "beauty spots" for eachother.

If you're in Warsaw, let me know and I'll show you some places. I've a fondness for it too.

Life / INVISIBLE MAN in shops and offices in Poland? [70]


You must be joking? This happens all the time; teenagers, old ladies, guys who look like Super Mario...

Without wishing to resort to five-letter-words, and not being much of a hard-man, I find that staring at them and saying "kolejka jest" at least gets an apology from them.