Lots of Johnsons in Poland...

English has such John-dervied surnames as Johns, Johnson and perhaps a few others (Johnly, Johning, Johnman, etc.) but Polish has got oodles and oodles of them including: Janas, Janaczek, Jancewicz, Janasiewicz, Janasz, Jańczak, Janciak, Jńczuk, Jańczyk, Jańczycki, Janczewski, Janic, Janicki, Januiec, Janikowski, Janiszyn. Janmkiewicz, Jankowicz, Jankowski,m Janowski, Janda, Janota, Janowiec, Januk, Januszczyk, Januszczak, Januszewicz, Jasiak, Jasiecki, Jasiewicz, Jaśkiewicz, Jaśkowiak, Jaśkowski, Jaszkowiak, Jaszowski...this is just a sampling to which in the eastern borderlands we can add: Iwaniak, Iwańczyk, Iwańczak, Iwańczuk, Iwaniuk, Iwanicki, Iwaniec, Iwanko, Iwanowicz, Iwaszko, Iwiński, Iwulski, Waniewski, Wankiewicz, Wańkowicz, Waniek, Waniak, Wański...and in and around Śląsk -- Hanak, Hańczyk, Hankiewicz, Hanus, Hanszczyk, Hanusiak, Hanuszkiewicz, Hanysz, Hanziuk, Hankus, Haniszewski, etc.

Which reminds me of that old joke: a Russian policeman stops a student after a demonstration...

-What's your name?
- Ivanov.
- Yeah, right. You are all Ivanovs when we catch you. Next, you'll be telling me that your first
name is Ivan, right?
- That's right - Ivan Ivanov.
- Stop lying boy, it's getting ridiculous. I suppose you will tell me that your otchestvo is Ivanovich?
- Yes, sir - Ivan Ivanovich Ivanov.
- OK, that does it - you will tell me your real name right now, or you'll regret it!!!
- Aleksander Sergieevich Pushkin.
- That's more like it. You should have told the truth right away, instead of giving me that "Ivanov" bullcr*p, boy.

*I'll get my coat.*

Isn't a Johnson a penis in American English?
Puts a whole new meaning to your thread P3.