My polish g/f can be a nightmare,is it always like this

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Wroclaw

How am i making her life a misery,she can leave anytime she likes,she has been saying for the last 3 weeks she is moving out,yet she still hasn't gone??saying she is looking for another place,last week she never put her share of the rent into my account,and she never even informed me,so i get a charge for a failed direct debit,she never even told the lanlady what was going on,i did,if it is so bad for her then why does she not leave,the lease on the house is up soon,if she cancels the agreement she will get all the deposit back £1000,plenty to move out i think.

smiffer,

You have a place to go. She doesn't, yet.
She hates you so much and this why she is using you to pay the rent.
Your relationship may have remained friendly, if you had left at the beginning.
And I still say that you are being stubbon, awkward and revengeful.

When did i say i have a place to go,i visit my mums but i can't stay,only for one or two nights,my ex is using this fact to say that i have been seeing other girls,if she had called my mothers house she would know i was there,and no where else.this relationship won't stay friendly cus she decided she would open my post,and found something out that she didn't like,i explained it to her after,she used to go through my mobile phone when i was asleep,i caught her,and she didn't like it if i sat in a different room than her,she has tried to control me for the last 14 months,and when i stand up for myself she always said "i am sure we won't be together soon" so i would do WHAT SHE WANTED ME TO,if i move out she does not earn enough to cover my half of the rent,so i am still leagally obliged to pay it,so why should i find somewhere else to live,and still have to pay for that house.if she doesn't pay her share,i am legally required to cover it,and same for her,if i move i still have to pay for the next 2 months,about £850,while i am there i am still being polite,and not trying to argue,yet all she does is throw **** back in my face,i spend as little time as i can there,go back to my mums after work,and go back home at about 8-9pm,just to make it a bit easier for my ex.I am not trying to make her life difficult,just trying to help still.

Parargaphs in between changing topics!
One space after a comma!
Two spaces after a full stop!

Thank you

Stop inventing things. Your relationship ran into problems back in May. It has nothing to do with a phone bill from two weeks ago.
Maybe you should read your own first post again.
Half of what was on the phone bill was down to deciet on your part. You wouldn't have arranged it, if you hadn't expected her to check it. You set her up and now blame her.

She has been checking me since last year,she used to ring my work to make sure i had actually turned up,accused me of staring at other women all the time,mate you only know a fraction of the story,yes i tried to set her up this time,and that is the only time in the whole relationship i have tried to set her up,yet she used to do it to me all the time,as for half of what was on the phone bill,it was 5 numbers,on a 5 page bill,not quite half i think.

True


Which shows that I can read you like a book.

She probably saw a lot of unfaithful men in her line of work and it probably caused her to lose trust in all men. Even if she had been a friendlier person, the relationship was probably doomed from the start because of her tainted view of the world.

In this case it is better to be a customer than a husband.

Usually those who cheat are always blaming others for the same thing.

What you think she could have been cheating on me and thats why she is accusing me of the same??

I have seen this played out in other relations. I am not saying it happens all the time.

Not always true coz my mom is always blaming my dad of cheating on her without any rational causes whenever she feels insecure and there is nothing any one of us can say that can change her mind. They had been arguing (sometimes almost fighting) almost each week for the past 10 years or so and neither are happy. Sometimes I wonder if it would have been better for them to live separately.

Smiffer I know how you must feel thinking there might be some hope. I'm not an expert but what others said. Goodluck.

Heya, just thought I had to say something on this. I'm 24 and with my [polish] girlfriend 3 years. I would say Polish woman are quite controlling and demanding and of course can be stressful at times. However they're just like this sometimes, it seems to be in their nature. But it should never get to the point where she gets so jealous that she stops you contacting your friends or parents. Does she have friends herself? It doesnt seem like it, I'm sure shes not a cow or anything like that, maybe she had a difficult time in the past and shes clinging onto you, its obvious shes cares alot for you and just wants to be with you as much as possible but it sounds like shes lonely or something, maybe invite her out with your friends one time, maybe she has bad feelings towards your parents because they dont accept her or so on, theres no simple answer but if your together this long, why throw it away.

Well another update

I haven't been online for a while,we were getting on just great,until last night another big arguement,to cut a long story short,she handed in her notice on the house 2 and a half weeks back,and tried to rent another basically she don't earn enough to get one through estate agents,and we have to be out the house by this saturday.i have somewhere to go,but she doesn't, i think she might have to stay with some friends of a friend of hers.her daughter is in poland till 23rd this month,and i think she will have to find somewhere by then,i have been trying to help all week,but last night she started putting me down again,cus i am moving back with my mum,she now keeps calling me mummys boy,in a horrible tone.I really am only trying to help,i started to see a new counsellor yesterday and she is happy to see me and my ex together,she agreed,then we had an arguement and last night she just kept on at me,saying i had taken her car keys,which i hadn't,kept trying to get into my bedroom,and i woke up this morning and she has taken my mobile phone,and my work trainers,and my good shoes (the only 2 pairs of shoes i own) so this morning i had to go to work in my slippers,i was not going into her room this morning to get shouted at again.no idea what mood she will be in when i get home (at mums at the moment) i really want to try and work this out with her,but she seems to want to destroy it,when we go out she always holds my hand,and cuddles me,and she sometimes sleeps in my room,so i have no idea what the hell is going on,she keeps saying if i want to be with her then i have to change,i can be moody,and angry,and shout alot,but i am also very supportive,and caring,now i feel all is lost.

thank you for your continued support,and messages,will keep checking back
trevor my mum likes her,my sister likes her,she never seems to want to go out with my friends,i think she has some friends here but not sure how good of friends they are.

she's a vengeful one, isn't she.

shewolf

yes she can bea vengeful one,she deleted some numbers from my phone including hers,and a guy i know from the same city that she don't like cus he is going through the same stuff with his polish g/f which my ex knows.

I got home yesterday back to the house,and half her stuff has gone,then strangely at 12.20am last night i got a text from her saying "good night martin" i find this weird as she deleted all knowledge of her from my phone,then she sends me a text,which means now i have her number again,so i don't know if this means i am still in her thoughts,does this mean i can still text/talk to her,and i know she has a new flat,managed to find that out,but i have not heard anything from her since,so i am really confused now.

Have to go have another appointment with me counsellor.
update soon.

I recently sought advice about my polish "friend" (were not together apparently! though it doesn’t seem that way to me!) from her own cousin because she has crazy things going on sometimes.

Let me elaborate...

So I really love her and she knows it and I know that she loves me too however sometimes when were apart and texting each other she just gets mad at somebody/something and decides I'm the one to take it out on like the other day I really wanted her to come to Blackpool with me and her friends but she wouldn’t instead she decided to go shopping in a different city on her own and then I text her that I wish she was with me/us she said that no she didn't want to be there with me cos she doesn't even like me or care about me and I just pi*s her off, the same evening I/we came back and everyone went to a birthday party, I arrived before her and she arrived with a few friends everyone came in and said hello to me except her who just completely ignored me so I ignored her back then 1 hour later whilst she was chatting with a friend she just stopped talking to them mid conversation turned to me and said "Why are you sitting there? “You should be sitting next to me" as you can imagine I was like WTF! Anyways to cut a long story short now were back to normal like nothing ever happened and this is not the first time she has behaved like that.

Her cousin told me just to leave her alone when she's like that she said there’s no point in getting mad it's like being angry with the rain there is no point! Just wait until it stops then everything will be fine again.

So there’s my experience with my polish girl they can be crazy but she is beautiful, funny and I love her so what can I do!

cjjc

I know what you mean i love mine to pieces but i just can't work her out,if she wants to argue,and i don't argue back,it goes on and on,but if i do its over quite quickly (sometimes) other times it might go on and on.

Update
When i was leaving my counsellor yesterday (who said she text me so i would have her number again) my ex sent me a text asking if i was going over the house to do some packing,and i rang and she said she was there to.I wasn't going to go over but as i needed more time tonight as i am off out with friends i thought why not,i get there and she just arrives back from moving some more stuff.We talked for a bit as we packed,and she said after about 30 minutes she had a surprise for me,i asked what and she said i could stay with her in the place she was staying,which is a firend of hers.wh o met a few weeks back,only thing i saw there which said my ex was staying there was a duvet,pillows and a few work things,and a load of stuff that we had packed from the old house we shared,i asked her where her stuff was (bed,kitchen table,etc) and she said some other friends were looking after it,now i get the feeling she has another place and she took me there to put me off,cus she don't want me knowing where she is living,which is cool.and i mean that.We both slept in the same bed,cuddling all night i think,or certainly most of it,she told me she doesn't want anyone else but me (which i find strange as we are not together,and she says she still loves me and misses me,but can't accept my angry side,fair enough i think.But again if i am soooo the one she wants,why are we apart,i feel as though there could be something else keeping us apart,other than what she says,i asked if i could text/ring her from time to time,and she said that was ok.i am now just going to see what happens,she also said she would come to see my counsellor with me as she does work for couples...........its all a bit odd to me.

Good luck my friend good luck. :)

Keep us updated!

Aye. There's nothing like a British man for having the pish taken out of him by his woman

Logan,words of wisdom i see.

Update

I spoke to her about 3 times yesterday,and we were getting on fine,really good,i asked her friday night when i stayed with her if she wanted to go out tonight (sunday) just for a meal,and maybe catch a film at the cinema,she said would be nice,i asked her yesterday morning (saturday) and she said yes.but she said why not tonight,i said i would be sorting my stuff out,she said i think you have plans.I rang her about 4.30pm yesterday and we just chatted about nothing really,and the subject got on to going out again,she said she was going out with her friend woman she is staying with,but she would be back early pm about 7,as the woman,thats proof u no fair,play with my feelings,stop" had to work last night.she then said that said i would be going over last night,i said no i said sunday evening not sat.she said i could go over,i told her i was going to sort my stuff out and get an early night as i was tired from moving.After i put the phone down,she sent me a text about 10 minutes later,saying she spoke with her friend,and as she was going to work,she had time for seeing me.i said again i was staying in.i wasn't though,she text me to say she thought i was going out,and didn't believe me,but it didn't matter.All was quiet,till 8.20pm,and she rang my mobile,but i didn't hear it,she sent me a text saying "i knew that you no at home that i think in this case is no worth do anything in future,bye take care" i never answered,then another one "now i'm really sure you go out,can't believe you no answer thats proof u no fair,play with my feelings,stop" then another one about 15 minutes later saying "i've got some secret but u no talk to me,then maybe u discover in future,bye forever,u choose today u own life,not believe u sleep or similar" i replied about 11.30pm cus i was watching a band play i said "secret hmmm what could be?" but no reply,and this is what i get if i go out,and she isn't even my g/f,but she is still trying to control me.And thats the story so far.

months back i posted this.
she has mind ****** you to the point that your seeing a shrink, how much lower do you need to go?

She obviously has feelings for you and when you asked her out on a date she thought you had feelings for her, too. She said in her text messages that you're playing with her feelings. Are you sure this is just a case of her trying to control you? It might help if you stop asking her out on dates and then never follow through.

shewolf

You might have got a bit confused,i never said i would take her out saturday,i said sunday,i already knew i was busy,so thats why i said sunday to her.She suspected i was going out with friends which is why she decided she could not do sunday,even though friday,and sat morning she said sunday was ok.she said when i rang her at 5pm that i wanted to go over saturday night,i said no tomorrow night.I am not playing with her feelings,i was very specific in what i said to her.she has turned it rund,to make me feel bad,its what she always does.I still really want to be with her,and i told her,i spoke to her on the phone today,and it seems its all about sex,from her,not me.we slept together on friday night,and now she thinks i went off saturday night and slept with someone else,which is not true,and now she says i don't care about her anymore.

marek

I am seeing a counsellor not a shrink,and its for reasons not connected with my ex.

you really need to cut ties with her. you wont be happy till you do.

Some how I doubt Smiffer will take any notice.....

Looking at it from the other side..I am Scottish and have a Polish Boyfriend...and sometimes I find it a bit had because of the language...its so easy to misinterpret things, and I find I question him more because I don't understand whats going on..especially with his female friends. Trust is everything of course but could be language contributing to why she is a bit more demanding....

Doubtfulllove

While i would agree that the language barrier can sometimes play its part,i do believe that she just wants to control me,from who i talk to,what i have on my phone,to sometimes where i could sit in the house (and no i am not joking,sometimes i wanted to sit in the lounge and she wanted me to sit in dining room,if i didn't....hell to pay)now don't get me wrong,i know i have done nothing but moan about her on here since the day i got here,but she could also be the nicest woman in the world.i mean we have had some fantastic times,but ever since we moved into that house,it just seemed to go downhill,always arguing.

I mean now i am in the doghouse cus i never went over to see her saturday night,but we never planned to meet saturday,now she says she has no time for me,and its all because i never done what she wanted me to.Just seems like punishment,so ShelleyS and marek looks like she will be out of my life,and all contact gone.