PolishForums LIVE  /  Archives [3]    
 
Archives - 2005-2009 / Love  % width262

My polish g/f can be a nightmare,is it always like this


Tamara  9 | 202  
1 Jun 2008 /  #31
Would you care to elaborate on the differences you notice?

No, I wasn't using the thread's originator as a basis. My husband if from Poland and it is his family and our friends to whom I am referring.

The differences are too numerous to count -I think in almost every way they are different either from myself (who may not be a good representative of an American woman) but also from most of the women I know.
Mav34  - | 11  
1 Jun 2008 /  #32
Come on people help me out here,restore my faith in polish women

Smiffer, Dump her and find someone else who is better. It seems like your gf is not a worthy gf at all and for saving your face so that no one would walk over it again just ignore her. Even telling her "I m breaking up with you " costs lot of energy and clearly as per her behavior she isn't worth your time.
Wroclaw  44 | 5359  
1 Jun 2008 /  #33
Come on people help me out here,restore my faith in polish women

1. You shouldn't have to ask someone to apologize. They should realize their own fault and act accordingly.
2. She is suffering from stress, which you pointed out. Find a way to help her relieve it.
3. Make your phone calls to your mum and friends when you are at work. Or tell her to get used to it. She has no right to dominate you this way.

4. She seems desperate to succeed in her learning, but not her relationship.
5. She seems inexperienced in relationships. You need to talk things through.
6. Most men would have dumped her a long time ago. Examine what's keeping you together.

7. The final test. Suggest marriage and see what happens.

Edit. Forgot to mention this: 8. I think she is using you.
VaFunkoolo  6 | 654  
1 Jun 2008 /  #34
9. If you weren't shagging her would you put up with her behaviour?

written on the basis that a disproportionately large number of men put up with shite in order to shag a physically attractive woman
OP smiffer  2 | 55  
2 Jun 2008 /  #35
Hey guy's/ladies

Thanx for taking time to read this thread.We have talked alot over the last day me and my g/f.She has booked an appointment with a phsycologist tomorrow afternoon,she says she knows that she is being horrible to me,and she said she does feel guilty,and she knows she is pushing me away.I told her i can't keep going like this,i said she makes me not want to come home after work.I said we should talk about our hopes and fears,she is very insecure,and don't get me wrong sometimes i can be,i just hope she does go to the phsycologist tomorrow.

I really do think the world of her,but this is starting to drain me right out.
shewolf  5 | 1077  
2 Jun 2008 /  #36
It's weird that she knows she is treating you bad but she can't seem to stop. That's not a good sign. I hope the psychologist can help.
Seanus  15 | 19666  
2 Jun 2008 /  #37
U r doing the right thing, there's nothing worse than an emotionally-draining leech. There will always be those with the potential to get under ur skin in life but it shouldn't be so directly. I agree with shewolf
VaFunkoolo  6 | 654  
2 Jun 2008 /  #38
It's weird that she knows she is treating you bad but she can't seem to stop.

The medical term is 'biatch'
OP smiffer  2 | 55  
4 Jun 2008 /  #39
Hello all

She had her first session last night,and she said it went ok,she told me all about it.It does sound like she wants to make the effort to change.When we split up last week i stayed over at my mums house for 2 nights,i didn't speak to her,or contact her for 2 days,that was thurs and fri,on saturday i went back to the house we rent together.We had a long talk,and she said she wasn't sure if she wanted to be single,as she had not seen me for 2 days.And last night she said the same thing again,she said "i know you can just walk away" i said "are you surprised?"and i said its not because i want to go,but because she is making me want to.Sometimes i feel she is genuine and wants to make this relationship work,other times i am really not so sure.
irishdeano  5 | 304  
4 Jun 2008 /  #40
i know how you feel smiffer...if it was me i would give her a chance to change...
ShelleyS  14 | 2883  
4 Jun 2008 /  #41
smiffer

She sounds like a sandwich short of a picknick!.....And any "private" phsycologist that can fit someone in that quick, I would question his / her experience and would check to see that they are actually a registered practitioner!.

She wants you, she doesnt want you, she wants you, she doesnt want you.....she's insecure, she's a biatch.....she sound like she likes playing her little power games with you matie! No normal person forebid their partner from speak to relatives or friends for that matter....

If she makes you feel so miserable that you dont want to go home, it's time to call it a day....trust me, you will only end up another year or two down the line and wish you had called it a day sooner, dont waste her time and certainly dont waste your own.
OP smiffer  2 | 55  
4 Jun 2008 /  #42
Not really sure how long i should give her?i feel i should give her a little time,see what happens,she has always said that this is her "character" i always say "its not a character,its a power trip"i try my hardest to stand up to her,and i feel sometimes that its this attitude that wins,like when i act that way,she responds more.I do agree that maybe one day she will just leave.I am really not sure what i should do,give her a chance,or walk away?
ShelleyS  14 | 2883  
4 Jun 2008 /  #43
You are a lovely guy and you deserve a lovely women...if she wants to be treated like sh1te then let her find someone to treat her like that...You sound like a chilled guy who wants a happy life with a level headed (not saying boring) women...not someone who you cant even be yourself with..

Nobody on here can tell you to leave her, what people can do is 'advise'.

My advice would be to ask yourself does this women make you truely happy.

Life's too short to waste 'serious' time on people who are just passing through.

S
OP smiffer  2 | 55  
4 Jun 2008 /  #44
She does make me happy most of the time,she can be a very nice person,but when she gets stressed she is a real nightmare,she accuses me of things,and checks my phone,any reason to try and pick a fight,if i answer back,and get into an arguement,she soon seems to calm down,its like she needs the confrontation.As for the phsycologist she said she made the appointment last thursday,and she showed me a piece of paper telling saying what it was,and it was from the place she went to.i feel that i should give it a little time,i do feel most of the time that she is genuine what she says.Ihave said to her that if she is not prepaired to help me with this relationship then i will have to walk away.
JustysiaS  13 | 2235  
4 Jun 2008 /  #45
you gotta tell her to attend some anger management classes. or get of the Pill ha ha.
OP smiffer  2 | 55  
4 Jun 2008 /  #46
Funny you say about the pill,she was on it when i met her,and for the first 8 months,and she was even worse,really jealous and possesive,she has been off it since xmas and she is much better,but she has been hinting lately that she wants to go back on it.but i really don't want her to.
JustysiaS  13 | 2235  
4 Jun 2008 /  #47
I know what that stuff does to you, it messes you up. It is a comfort obviously, but is her mental health really worth it?
Wroclaw  44 | 5359  
4 Jun 2008 /  #48
Just a thought. The way I see it.

She is away from home and finding her self struggling to move forward. The stress is building up and she is taking it out on you. One reason, in my opinion, is that she is in a relationship she would rather not be in. She can't get out of it because she is relying on you to provide various things. This could include the roof over her head.

You want the relationship to move forward. That's a danger sign for her and that's why she is going back on the pill. A child is the last thing she needs.

She might be seeking help for the stress, but not neccessarily with you in mind.

I'm curious to know when she last had a holiday.
OP smiffer  2 | 55  
5 Jun 2008 /  #49
We had a holiday last april we went to turkey together,her father did pass away in march this year,but believe me she ain't like this cus of him.She has been like this since about 5 weeks after i met her.

Today she has been really nasty to me saying i don't earn enough money and i should take another job,but she works part time,and i cover my share of the rent and bills,i think u people are right its time to ditch this woman,she will never change,she just wants someone who will pay her way in life,she told me that if i don't get another part time job we are finished,so i said that it then.

It hurts like hell but she has made me an emotional wreck,my life is not my own anymore.
polishgirltx  
5 Jun 2008 /  #50
i think you should leave her... you'll be much better on your own... don't let her use you anymore...
and smile :)
ShelleyS  14 | 2883  
5 Jun 2008 /  #51
Today she has been really nasty to me saying i don't earn enough money and i should take another job

Start packin those bags Mr S..... Another day with her is another day out of 'your' life.

Good luck x
Peter  3 | 248  
5 Jun 2008 /  #52
you'll be much better on your own... don't let her use you anymore...and smile :)

I have to agree............run for the hills and don't look back.
VaFunkoolo  6 | 654  
5 Jun 2008 /  #53
It hurts like hell but she has made me an emotional wreck,my life is not my own anymore.

Mate, you can't go on like this. If being in the relationship is making an emotional wreck then things need to be confronted. You really need to value yourself more than this.

You need to claim your own life back becasue at the end of the day, you are your number 1 priority. Even if you decide not to 'end' the relationship it sounds like you need to distance yourself from it/her in order to preserve your emotional balance.
OP smiffer  2 | 55  
5 Jun 2008 /  #54
I just don't know why she is being like this,it is beyond me.
marek s  - | 269  
5 Jun 2008 /  #55
she is being like that because you allow her to. grow some backbone and dump her.
OP smiffer  2 | 55  
6 Jun 2008 /  #56
Hey marek.

Come on fella don't hold back on me,tell me what you really think??lol
marek s  - | 269  
6 Jun 2008 /  #57
sorry but im rather blunt.
Wroclaw  44 | 5359  
6 Jun 2008 /  #58
I just don't know why she is being like this,it is beyond me.

she is being like that because you allow her to. grow some backbone and dump her

I agree with marek s. But if you check all of the posts on this thread you will find that most agree that you should kick her into touch.

she told me that if i don't get another part time job we are finished,so i said that it then.

emphasis added.

Does this mean it is over, or not ?
OP smiffer  2 | 55  
7 Jun 2008 /  #59
I went back over last night,and we went out into the city centre we live in,just for a few drinks and a chat...........DIDN'T go well,i told her that i earn enough money and i do not need another job,she seemed ok about it,i said maybe she should get another one as she only works part time,and i earn 3 times what she does in a week.She just pulled a funny face,and said she had savings she can live on.I said they would run out soon,and i would not be prepaired to pay her way,i told her that if she didn't like that,then tough.We had a bit of a row,nothing massive,and she done her crying routine,and so i stuck her in a taxi back home,and i stayed out,and walked home,got in about 2am,she was sleeping in the dinning room on the sofa bed,so i just went to bed,she gets up at 5.15am for work,not spoke since.Not expecting it to be a good weekend now.

I said to her last night while we were out that she has not right to treat me,or anyone else like this,she says she does it when she gets stressed,and doesn't realise she is doing it,i said you do it cus you want to control me,and i won't be controled,and she can't try to run me by fear,the fear of loosing her.

I know all you people on here say i should leave her,and you are all probably right,but i can't just walk away,i know i should,we are renting a house,and we have 4 months left,and it would cost me lots to get out.she has an accounting exam in just over a week so i know she is going to get alot more stressed.

So now i have to see what happens
shewolf  5 | 1077  
7 Jun 2008 /  #60
Have you taken her in your arms lately and told her that you love her? You should try it when she says something mean, even if you don't feel like it. Maybe it will shut her mouth. If you want to live in love and peace for the next 4 months, maybe you should give love and peace instead of arguing with her and creating more tension.

Archives - 2005-2009 / Love / My polish g/f can be a nightmare,is it always like thisArchived