Meeting in August? Aghhhh! What do I do?

Hey guys. I'm new here and am just getting fit in. Here's my story:
In April 2006, I was currently in college and at times, had a lot of free time where I was stranded from my circle of friends and needed to kill some time sometimes. So I thought up the idea to get a penpal from some exotic place other than the U.S. I posted my profile and received a bunch of responses and responded to a lot of them but...one message was different from the rest. It was from a girl from Poland looking to get another friend and improve her English. I was intially inerested in talking to her because most of my heritage is Polish. So I decided to write her and her alone.

We both talked to each other regularly up to this day. We eventually, started to like each other and almost love but were not sure about that. Yes, we know each other's mind inside and out but we haven't met yet so we don't know each other's actions, movement, etc (stuff a normal relationship would have). I do know I have strong feelings for her and she has feelings for me. I just can tell that this is a genuine, real relationship so there is no need for a concern of a scammer. I don't think a scammer would write me for this long of time.

We have planned that I visit her in August 2007 and then she will visit me after. I haven't noticed a huge cultural difference between personalities from her and American girls. There are small differences but that makes it exciting. Now, she does still live with her parents. She is 18 and I'm 21. So...I'm naturally scared to death but I won't tell her this. There are two parents, and three children including her. This is mind blowing because I have to jump inside this home with having a minimum knowlege of po polsku :)

Now help me, I've never been to Poland before nor another country, never met this girl, never met her parnents/siblings. What am I to do? What kind of gift do you bring the host? I have every possible question running through my head right now.

If you were in my shoes, what would your first action be when you step off that plane? Sincerely, help my cause :) I want to make a big, good impression but should I just play it by ear? Is that the best plan? Help me please.

Thanks

Ya, I think I can relate to your problem. Long distance relationships are very difficult .I was in almost identical situation and I n my case - it didn't work.I'm not saying that ALL long distance relationships don't work - I was just unlucky one and I wish you all the best.The problem was that I tHOUGHT that I knew this other person so well when we were1000's of miles apart and when I finaly met this person I felt that it was not the same guy.I guess I had this image of him in my head that wasn't real and I was terribly dissapointed at the end.Our relationship never worked and we went separate ways after a few months of trying to work things out. Again, this is my story , so Don't worry too much:)

As for making a god impression with her family- gifts are a must. It is our custom to buy gifts for poeple we visit and we expect it in return. Bring something that is very American , maybe something ethnic , something representing American culture.

That's a shame your realtionship turned out bad. I hope mine is not on the path.
As for gifts, do I just bring one communal gift or something seperate for everyone. I'm just curious because I don't want to seem to be overwhelming with too many gifts but not bring enough stuff either. I don't know if it's a fine line or black and white.

You do have a good idea. Bring something from American culture. I guess something that's hard or impossible to find in Poland.

that's right, one good gift that will serve everybody should do and one for your girlfriend of course.too much stuff might overwhelm them.so take them all for a nice supper, they will apreciate it.

just relax, be yourself, enjoy and try not to have too many expectations... sure, bring a gift but dont worry too much about it... its the thought that counts...

lol :) sorry, but how can he take them for a nice supper while he isn't from Poland and doesn't know Poland good enough (I'm sure he doesn't know which restaurants are good, how expensive they're and so on)? I can't imagine that... what will he say? Come on, I'm taking all of you for a supper... i know one good restaurant... uppss, I forgot.. i don't have car here ;] - maybe your father will pick us up? Let's be serious, how does it sound? ;] In my opinion he should worry only about that girl... - he doesn't go there for her parents. What about gift you were right - sth typical from America, nothing expensive (it's not necessary), just small gift.

Slwkk, you're right. Taking everyone to a restaurant wouldn't be a very smooth operation. It would be hard for me. Yes, I did come to visit the girl but it wouldn't hurt to get on their good side :)

For a gift, I don't know. Maybe American whiskey for the adults and candy for the younger siblings. Also something special for the girl. I'm sure I'll think of something better by the time I leave but your right BubbaWoo, it's the thought that counts, well...at least most of the time :)

*Note*-I switched my name from hjkjhgfghjk to jimbobby because I'd rather use a name that means something rather then some gibberish.

Ok, you're right :)


Whiskey isn't bad idea I think.... of course it would be better if you were say 5 years older when giving that kind of gifts, but if you will say them you were thinking about sth typical for America they shouldn't be confused :)


and the next step is registration here :>

Dear american friend,

I was very happy to read your story. I wish more stories like yours become a reality and finally prosper. I come from a different,european culture and I had an experience similar to yours (meeting a polish girl and going to her family in Poland during summer).

I strongly believe that the family of the girl will be happy to receive you. Even due to your nationality I think you have already won part of their acceptance. Polish people always thought of USA as progresive, free culture, and for a significant part of them your culture has constituted a role model after the collapse of "socialism" for which they partly thank the USA. As for a gift....i will only tell you that polish people "in general" love books and drinks. If possible, try not to get them something they can find themselves in Poland.

Keep in mind that :
1)polish people are slightly more introvert than americans.
2)They are more morally conservative than the average european.
3)They think much and talk little.
4)They are very proud of their culture, history and country.
5) They, to a relative degree, do not adore the Russians and the Germans.

I strongly believe they would be flattered if you come to learn some phrases and words in polish. There is a hand-book edited by "Lonely Planet" which i had and can be an introduction to polish life and language.

The second reason why i think it is bound that you will gain their acceptance is that from what I understand you obviously care about their daughter. They will see that and appreciate you for it.

I hope you manage to succeed in what I once did not.

Summer is approaching :) I wish you'll enjoy your time there.

Thanks for the kind words The Traveller. I do know some Polish prhrases and words already. So I guess I'm covered there :).
If you don't mind, can you tell your story? Don't feel obligated, I'm just interested.