Im irish, my womans Polish. Met 1 year ago and she's been hinting at getting engaged alot lately so ive decided that she is the one for me, makes me as happy as i can be and i think the world of her.
We are going to Paris for a few days in september, shes never travelled except to Ireland so im going to propose on the top of the Eiffel Tower ....
Is it good enough????
And do i have to ask her parents permission???
Its a big step for me, for us, and she has told me 100% that she wants to settle here in Dublin and make a life and family with me, i hope that she isnt doubtful as I BOUGHT THE RING YESTERDAY !! lol!!!
Anyway girls and laddies, let me know if my idea is good enough or crap..
The proposal isn't corny...but believing her is. She will start missing her family and Poland...then take more and more trips back....then start talking to a Polish guy (but dont worry they are just friends)...and you know how it goes. I would bet money on this. Why? Because I have seen it over and over. Everyone thinks they are 'different' or that she REALLY loves me. Just wait. If it had been a few years of her living in Ireland it is one thing...but generally they miss and want to go back to Poland after being in a different place and with a foreigner wears off. I know you wont listen..nobody does ;)
corny in what way? im only askin because critiscism is the best advice!! cheers
Top of the eiffel tower, in Paris (the city of romance and all that stuff). A bit Chick Flicky...but, as I say, if you can't do that when you are proposing then when can you.
i do listen, i mean shes been here 5 years now, she has a sister living her who just had a child with a foreigner and will more than likely stay, she has parents in poland and another sibbling in the usa married and settled...
Honestly, it is my biggest worry..... I notice that lots of polish couples live apart in different countries and im not into that sort of thing myself.....
And the whole idea of her becoming friends with a polish guy, and then more happening... well i could end up making friends with a irish girl and something else happening but really its not something i worry about...
I could be lucky, maybe she is genuine, maybe she will stay here, sure why hasnt she gone home after 4-5 years here? She was single for a year up til we met, has really no reason to stay here only me and here sister........
Ah ya bastard, you've made me paranoid now!!!LOL!!!!!
Sure if she decides to go home then theres divorce to take care of that.
Well as I said if she had lived there for years its a bit better odds....you made it sound like she had only traveled to Ireland but she has lived there 5 years so thats a bit different...better chance then. Id just not marry for at least another couple years....make her prove it. Girls who push to engage and marry worry me.
they worry me too, they seem desperate, maybe its the old biological clock ticking as she is mad about babies !!! Its definitely not money, as im as poor as pies at the mo, just back in work a while after being a victim of the recession, and she stood by me and supported me through all the crap the last few months...
Sure, i had a polish gf for 4 years before..met her in poland when i worked there, came to ireland together for a year, went to poland for 2 and half together, i came home to finish the masters, after a while she started missing mommy and daddy and as u said, the usual happened, she went home and stayed, tried the long distance thing but crashed and burned....
Well TJ, if your predictions are right then i owe u a drink for the warning!!! I just hope you are wrong..!!!!
maybe its the old biological clock ticking as she is mad about babies !!!
Man...you seem sensible. This is a huge warning sign. I am sorry but I'd not marry someone like this. This shows it is not about you but rather her 'mommy needs' and you are a suitable sperm donor. Women who are so obsessed with having kids are a mess. I do wish you happiness but just beware and watch for the signs.
And on the proposal alone your idea is something she will talk about forever. Nothing corny about the idea. I actually was going to do this but the top half was closed for some repair...maybe it was a sign!
Men should have a marriage strike until fairness is introduced into courts.
It would never happen...some men are so desperate for sex that they will play whatever games women force upon them just so they can get laid. Women know they have this bargaining chip and they use it. Pathetic behavior on all sides.
Well, I'm 33 years old, considered good looking and have a good career but will never be married as I am on a marriage strike until the court systems are reformed. Of course this is a good excuse to stay away from getting married as well.
As to those men who are desperate for sex, I feel sorry for them. They are weaklings and probably deserve to get married and hen pecked for the rest of their pathetic lives. I can't stand weakness in anyone.
Women who use sex to get what they want are nothing more than prostitutes. They don't have to stand on corners soliciting sex to be prostitutes. A married woman who takes advantage of her husbands weaknesses is also a prostitute. So is a woman who insists that men pay for dates while conversely demanding equality in only those things she wants.
Women here know what I'm talking about. Few will admit it though.
I agree with many of your ideas though maybe not in as angry of a way. But the above comment...really makes me not like you. Everyone has weakness...yours seems to be arrogance for a start.
You don't know what will be, but you can prepare for what might be.
The woman that you know now could very well change in the future.
Especially after she has a child or two.
The divorce rate is rising fast in Poland and the Polish and Irish courts have a strong bias toward the females.
Poland could be at the 50 percent divorce rate in a few years if it is not already in the major cities.
Here are some risks.
Prechildren: 1) She will begin to miss the family in Poland or meet a guy in Poland and go back to Poland.
Postchildren: 1) She will go to Poland with the kids for a visit and never come back.
Consult an Irish Attorney first.
Also consult a Polish attorney.
See if you can get her to sign a pre-nup.
The pre-nup should have the following points at a minimum.
1) she gets no assets and no alimony in the event of divorce.
2) you have at least 50 percent access to your children in the event of divorce and the children remain in Ireland.
Also check the success statistics of UK/Polish marriages.
Check this forum for some real stories.
Also google some stories.
If she goes to Poland with the children she will have an advantage in the Polish Court System because she speaks the language.
And the Polish Courts will most likely back her actions.
Speak with other Polish and Irish Men about their experiences before you do anything.
Take these steps for any children that may be born to insure that they have a father around.
Take these steps for yourself.
Even though you might be poor, you will probably love any children that are born and you don't want to lose access to them.
Here in Czech Republic the failure rate for marriages is around 67 percent.
And I know personally many American, British, Irish, African Men who lost access to their children through the Czech Court System and have to pay large sums of money every month through no fault of their own.
Hiya, I think the idea is just great! Which girl (Polish, Irish, English or any other) wouldn't like to be asked for marriage in Paris on the top of Eiffel tower??!! Go for it.... wish you all the best!
Here in Czech Republic the failure rate for marriages is around 67 percent.
Not surprising, men should abstain from marriage until there is fairness in the courts.
the above comment...really makes me not like you. Everyone has weakness...yours seems to be arrogance for a start
You are confusing arrogance with confidence.
I agree with many of your ideas
There you go.
I think the strike is already on. Look at the marriage rates and birth rates in USA and Europe.
There is a mini-marriage strike in the U.S. More and more men are staying away from the unfair nuptials because they see what has happened to their fathers and they have seen so many women destroy marriages "to find themselves" and all that other bullsh!t.
Only stupid or ignorant men in the USA get married.
Some women are already complaining that men don't want to get married. There is the true adage that is more true now then ever; during a divorce the woman says, "my money and stuff is all mine and his money and stuff is half mine". Why would any man agree to such an arrangement?
Hmmm...yeah you are failing at the 'clever quip' method too prickawoski
it's funny, the subject says (...) Girls, let me know what u think! and all that the guy gets are stupid statements from bitter men.
Most "bitter" men are experienced and not naive. Any man who has had more than one relationship is lying if deep down he doesnt agree with most of what has been said here about relationships. Even the OP knows and admits this. You just want some man to fawn all over you and make you feel "special"....so of course youd love an eiffel tower proposal...like I said we all know its a good move to impress...its just not worth it usually in the long run. The majority of women who you spend all this effort, money and time on will cheat on you or 'change' later. The investment overall is rarely worth it. If more women would start acting like equals instead of thinking they are princesses it would change. Guess what? You are not special or unique and you dont 'deserve' a prince charming. Be a decent person and dont lie and cheat and its a lot easier.
Don't mean to turn you off on the marriage. It could be a good thing. But doing it right could increase the probability of it being a good thing. The smart guys in the USA and Czech Republic use the proper pre-nups.
It sounds like you gave good thought the romantic aspects.
But almost neglected the business aspects.
Happy marriages are great.
But they are getting rarer.
Taking a realistic view can make yours happy.
And the most of the females on this thread who claim the men are bitter are really looking out for their own best interests and are bitter that their game is uncovered.
tj123 if this is the way you guys see relationships/marriage then I feel sorry for you 'cause you will never be happy in your life.
I am an experienced and not naive woman and I don't blame the whole man kind for it, got over my experience and still believe in love.
And yes it is perfectly normal for a woman to want to feel special and men who know how to make a woman feel like this will succeed in relationship and not bitter and sad men like you.
And yes, you surely are convinced that if a relationship fails or 67% of couples divorce then it is because of women (never men) - how ridiculous!!!!!!!
This is a huge warning sign. I am sorry but I'd not marry someone like this. This shows it is not about you but rather her 'mommy needs' and you are a suitable sperm donor.
Shut the fcuk up man.
go for it legdoctor sounds like a good match to me. Not corny at all she'll remember it for the rest of her life. Personally id be spontaneous but were all different.
Its a massive, huge, unbelievable risk the biggest mistake you can make is not too try. Trust your instincts.
as im as poor as pies at the mo
I was too before marriage, i had to sell my snowboard to get home from France to be with her now thats commitment, never looked back a truly wonderfull women.
johncardwell you are sooooooooooooo wrong my dear. i earn my life, pay my own rent, clothes, shoes, food, drinks, everything! don't need a man for it. Thank God we don't live in middle ages in case you haven't noticed yet....
