RomanaBrazil 1 | 3
2 Jul 2009 / #1
Greetings, I am from the states (black) and my honey is Polish, we have been together for a little less than a year. He is extremely gracious, however I feel as if he picks me apart. Being a student, I can see that he would like for me to be my very personal best(this is one of the many reasons I love him), however I am starting to wonder if he truly has the best intentions. Recently, I have disclosed my financial situation (not the best) with him and to my surprise he is more than eager to help. He is, in fact, ready to take on my finances head first, offering much needed help--with just a few rules. In order to receive this 'help' my honey is asking (do not know if this is the correct word b/c it is the only option) that I move in with him. I really do not have a problem with this, however, I am from the school where if you really want to help someone there are no rules or regulations. He has also insisted upon knowing all of my banking information, debts, expenses, etc. I can understand this to a certain extent, but he has also informed me that I will need to basically turn over my debit card and essentially ask him for my own money. I have made bad financial choices in the past, but I cannot say that I am just terrible with money, nor do I blow it on materialistic things. Certain people close to me find that this is all a way to control me and have me soley dependent upon him. It does sound a bit extreme, but I do love and trust him. He talks about our future and how he wants me to have financial freedom, which is of course important. He says he is the REAL DEAL and that I need to open my eyes, I am not use to help, so I have many questions. Is this the basis of a mature relationship? Do I stop being so private and listenpen my to my man? Are polish men known to be controlling? Is this support? Should I let him take the lead and follow (like he suggests)? Please be kind enough to share...