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How honest are Polish men?

Ranj 21 | 948  
29 Sep 2006 /  #1
I met a Polish man on a cruise ship last summer and we had an instant connection. He said he fell in love with me and proceeded to call me from the ship everyday, after I returned home (he worked on the ship.) His contract was up in August and he flew me to NYC to meet him while he was layed over (only 5 hours--4 of which were spent in customs or check-in lines). When he left me, he told me he loved me and wanted to come back soon to see me. Well, that's been 7 weeks ago and I have yet to hear from him. I know his father is somewhat controlling and was against him coming to USA for good, but why can't he just visit? I wonder if maybe he has a girlfriend or wife over in Poland, even though he told me he didn't. He seemed so sincere in everything he said and did, I just can't imagine what could have happened. I really felt this person was my soulmate. Any thoughts?
29 Sep 2006 /  #2
So is he a sailor or something? Do you have his phone number or address?
FISZ 24 | 2,116  
29 Sep 2006 /  #3
If he really cared, he'd be on top of it and not wait 7 weeks. That's a long time to make someone wait. Didn't you give him your number? Email?
OP Ranj 21 | 948  
29 Sep 2006 /  #4
He worked on a cruise ship, Wania. Fisz, he does have my number and e-mail, although he doesn't have an e-mail account in Poland. Although he made good money on the ship, I'm wondering if money is much tighter in Poland. I don't care about money but I think maybe he does. He seemed to go out of his way to show me he had money---he bought me a Swarovski Necklace from the ships gift shop and a Black Pearl Necklace when we were in Bora Bora. He also flew me to NYC and brought me some expensive lotions from the ships spa. When he left me at the airport, he had tears in his eyes and he almost missed his flight because he didn't want to leave me. Unfortunately, I never got an address or phone number from him, because he always called me from the ship or I e-mailed him on the ship. I know deep down, he cared about me, I'm just wondering if his family is what's preventing him from calling me. Or maybe he doesn't have the money he said he had and is too ashamed to admit that. I truly don't care about that, because I have my own money and I know that's not what makes people truly happy. I still believe he will contact me someday (his new contract starts in Jan. 2007 on the cruise ship), I just wish I knew if he was ok or not. Maybe I'm being delusional, but I really don't think so. I can't explain it, but I have never felt this way before.
FISZ 24 | 2,116  
29 Sep 2006 /  #5
Even if his parents were against it, I'm sure he can still go and purchase a calling card. They aren't expensive at all. It just doesn't sound right. I don't want to discourage you, but you shouldn't concentrate so hard on this. My opinion is that if it meant so much, the least he could do was call, email or sms you.
Marzena 2 | 122  
29 Sep 2006 /  #6
Ranj, I am also a little bit suspicious about the man you met. What is so difficult in making a phone call. Also, why was he buying you such expensive gifts? Was it the way he wanted to win you? It takes much more to build a relationship. It is weird that he didn't leave you any contact information. You know, sometimes words dont' mean much if they aren't backed by actions. Men do make effort in relationships that they truly care about. This is my sceptical approach.. in our age of communication there are many ways to contact a person.

However, if you finally talk to him and he tells you about some really legitimate reason, maybe he will deserve another chance, but something like this shouldn't happen again.

I'm sorry about how you are probably feeling right now.
iwona 12 | 542  
29 Sep 2006 /  #7
I think that he is attracted to you but he has some ties in Poland. maybe wife?....long term girlfriend.
Marzena 2 | 122  
29 Sep 2006 /  #8
yes, he definitely must have been attracted to you.
plg 17 | 263  
29 Sep 2006 /  #9
men are men all over the world

lying bastards
krysia 23 | 3,058  
29 Sep 2006 /  #10
Not all. Are you?
plg 17 | 263  
30 Sep 2006 /  #11
yes i am

and dont kid yourself krysia
Marzena 2 | 122  
30 Sep 2006 /  #12

"I'm going fishing."
Really means...
"I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

"Let's take your car."
Really means....
"Mine is full of beer cans, burger wrappers and completely out of gas."

"Woman driver."
Really means....
"Someone who doesn't speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me."

30 Sep 2006 /  #13
I have lived with a polish guy for 2.5 years, In the beginning i was absolutely bowled over, His english was very limited and my polish non existant so we conversed using phrase books and diagrams, great fun. we asked each other the basics - how old are you? when is your birthday? have you any brothers ect ect and slowly got to know each other.

After 3 months he asked my to live with him,I was very supprised but delighted, I know it was very soon but i was absolutly love struck and I rented a housed and in we moved. It was bliss for about 3 months then he started getting very moody and jelous, he would accuse me of rediculous thinks like eyeing up men in bars and he even accused be of displaying myself naked in the window for my neighbour?? all absolutly false.

When we were conversing using the phrase book and asking basic questions I asked him if he had any children, he answered "no" I never questioned it again - after about 3 months of living together I found a picture of a child which roused my suspisions, i asked him who it was and he told me it was his nephew, I accepted this - to cut a long story short - i later found out that this was his child, then found out that there were 2 other children and that he had been married. I was physically sick.

My dream had been shattered, No only had he lied ( and a pretty biggy ) but had children which is hard for me to accept for phycological reasons. He was extremely moody and stressed and then the sex stopped.

Im going to suprise you all now by telling you that we are still together.

His English is good now though his still doesnt discuss feelings or enjoy small talk, I am trying to come to tearms with the children and am confident there are no other secrets. I have visited his family in poland and have been warmly welcomed. He is still a little moody and agreesive when he speaks but part of that is just the was the polish converse. I have to accept his reasons for lying (it was a answer "no " to a personal question, to a girl he had met only twice to avoid having to explain and the subject never came up again)

There are many down sides to this guy, not because hes Polish but because hes him. but there are benifits too. Hes totally reliable and homely. hard working and has real understanding of his responcibilities to me as a woman and expects me to be a good woman too. I love these old fashioned values and wouldnt swap him for the world.
30 Sep 2006 /  #14
I married a Polish girl 6 years ago, trophy wife you know, biggest mistake of my life
OP Ranj 21 | 948  
30 Sep 2006 /  #15
Thank you everyone for your input. Kocham, I'm glad you are happy with your man. One of the things I love about Grzegorz is that he is somewhat old-fashioned. He's very much a gentleman!

Does anyone on here actually live in Poland? Someone told me that counterfiet calling cards were common there and that the communication infrastructure was still a work in progress. Although the fall of communism happened 17 years ago, I know politically, Poland is still in a state of unstability. Are there residuals from that? Do people fear that their mail or phone calls may be monitored? I hope these don't sound like silly questions because I really don't know. I do know that besides seeing his family, he really did not want to go back there. He said there was nothing for him there and he didn't want to live there.
Kowalski 7 | 621  
30 Sep 2006 /  #16
Does anyone on here actually live in Poland? (...)Although the fall of communism happened 17 years ago, I know politically, Poland is still in a state of instability. Are there residuals from that?

hello Ranj,
I live in Poland! To name some of those residues: many of our people expect the state to run their lives and we are a gloomy lot

Do people fear that their mail or phone calls may be monitored?

Only very corrupted individuals or their boss.
OP Ranj 21 | 948  
30 Sep 2006 /  #17
Thanks, Kowalski! In what part of Poland do you live? I found the second part of your e-mail interesting because Grzegorz said his father was in politics. His position is somewhat similar to that of a congressman or a senator in the United States, according to Grzegorz. I only found one man in the Sejm with the same last name as Greg. I e-mailed this man to see if he was his father and if he arrived safe in Poland but I never recieved a response back from him. I guess if his father were against his coming to the U.S. he probably wouldn't have responded to me anyway.
1 Oct 2006 /  #18
Hi I Live In England but visit Poland 2 or 3 times a year, We drive there and its a real long way, I would rather fly but we take so much stuff with for those who dont have much.

Ive found many things i love about the place ( People, Food, Countryside etc) and a few things i find less agreeable - the roads are terrible and i find Block housing depressing, the area i visit is sprawling suberbs with no space inbetween different towns and hundreds of grafitti covered appartment blocks, the appartments are sometimes quite small and its not unusual to have just one bedroom meaning family doublling up and/or sleeping on sofa beds in the living room. i guess im spoilt, id find it hard living in a block but millions of people in poland do. In England large city Blocks would be mostly troubled areas suffering social difficulties but that seems not to be the case in poland,
plg 17 | 263  
4 Oct 2006 /  #19
men are men all over the world

lying bastards


i was right
OP Ranj 21 | 948  
5 Oct 2006 /  #20
What happened to make you right?:)
Bartolome 2 | 1,085  
6 Oct 2006 /  #21
No, Kocham, you're not spoilt, 1-bedroom apts in those bloody grey, gloomy blocks are relict of communism, when you were waiting for your 'M3' as we called them, for years.
13 Oct 2006 /  #22
what is it like in wroclaw, my boyfriend is from there and i would like to hear some views.

we have been together for 8 months, we live together and are very serious about 1 another, i am scared though to go there as i am mixed race and my boyfriend tells me maybe i would get stared at as apparently polish people stare at each other alot as it is..

Is this true?
Bartolome 2 | 1,085  
13 Oct 2006 /  #23
Not everybody, but some really do. In some small town, neighbouring to my village, lives a black guy, and so far he has survived :) Times are changing, slowly (some people still are bloody racists, as in every other place in the world) but even more people get past it.
FISZ 24 | 2,116  
13 Oct 2006 /  #24
polish people stare at each other alot as it is..'s quite common in Poland. Don't take it personally though :)
Wroclaw 44 | 5,384  
13 Oct 2006 /  #25

You won't have any problems here in Wroclaw. Don't worry about a thing.

If you would like to know anything specific about Wroclaw or any problems you think you might have, you can mail me.
sapphire 22 | 1,241  
12 Jan 2007 /  #26
OMIGOD.. have just come across this and could have written it myself...apart from the naked in the window bit.... thats so weird.

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