Hi everyone, Well the Polish girl im in love with doesn't want anything more to do with me,i don't feel its my fault,the only thing i'm guilty of is being in love with her????I do feel like my world has come to an end,im not eating,sleeping,etc.....you know the usuall!!!How we got together is a very long story,so i won't bore anyone:)
I think she just wants to be friends and it feels like she's just forgetting all the special times we had and treating me like a stranger!!!Its driving me mad......I've thought about this very hard and i still love her so very much but to just turn those emotions i have inside me off and have next to nothing contact just doesn't seem right to me.....its to painfull to me and gives me no time to heal my broken heart,i do feel discarded by her and that hurts me alot.
So as much as i want to hold on and hope that one day she will come running back into my arms i've just got to face facts and realise its not going to happen,what i would like to do is have some sort of message translated by you good people.......
i don't know......something like........
'I love you more than anything but the way things are now are to painfull for me to carry on,i can't just forget what happened and just treat you as a friend,i think the best soloution is to stop contact between us,it will be hard but i will never forget the woman who i truely gave my heart to'
Actually i don't know what to do????I know i can't go on like this,so any advice is appreciated,i would of married this girl,thats how serious i am about her but i will let her go if thats her wish,i love her to do that,i just want to do it the right way!!!!!
I appreciate the time anyone spends reading this and any help given.
how about good old 'talk to her'? If you could tell us such story with what seems to be one breath, why don't you tell her how you feel? I insist that talking will do a better job than writing any notes. Invite her to your place, make a romantic dinner and remind her all the special moments you shared. And when the right moment comes tell her how much you love her and that you cannot stand her treating you like a stranger and that you'd rather not see her at all than like this. Give her time to think about it and keep your fingers crossed. Either way you'll get some kind of an answer.
Yeah, bossie is right. Also some time apart will make her realize what she had was good and she will really start to miss you. You know how you dont realize how good something was until its gone? Hopefully she will see that.
Hi Bossie, Im in Wales and she's in Poland,i call her everyday and we did text alot to,she's been back in Poland for 4 months now,she did come over her in November and i was supposed to go over in December but i have a problem with flying(see previous posts
)i am booked to go over in January,when she did go back she said she wanted to be alone,i told her that i would wait for her untill she would feel ready,etc,i remained faithfull here,she know's im in love with her,i think its just not the right time in her life for love,maybe!!She went to Zakopane for New Years and that where everything has seemed to change in her,she told me she wanted space......so i only text her when she text me,i kept it light,hoped she was having a great time,you know........i called her yesterday and it was a bad signal and i felt she was distant with me,it did get me worried,so i called her today to see if the signal was any better,of course i heard men laughing in the background and she had to quickly leave........i wrote to her this.......'Magda have you met a guy there?If you have just tell me as i don't want to be in love with you anymore,its killing me inside'(so much for keeping it light).........she wrote back that she was in a car with 2 guys and 2 girls and that i would never understand her 'space'???
So i apologised but nothing from her.........obviously im going crazy but im not going to call her and text her and push her more away.....
I keep my fingers crossed for your next flight. Look at it as a chance to sort things out, it's not much longer.
When you see her, insist on honesty. "Space" is no explanation, there must be something going on, maybe involving just herself, maybe someone else as well. If you assure her that you'll give her time but you need to know why all this is going on. At least that's what I'd do.
i can understand your crazy over this Griff esp as she to me doesnt sound too forthcoming with her true feelings and im sorry but the bit about calling her and she had to dash quickly in my books sounds to me like she acted in the manner that oh S*** he has phoned i will have to make something up here on spur of moment. Personally she could have told you on the phone she had company and not just dash off plus why wait till you text her for her to say whom she is with (sorry pointing it out from a female angle)
Maybe she wasn't meant for you? I broke up with a guy once because I felt he was dragging and draining me. He was very heart-broken, but why be with each other if I only liked him as a friend? Stay with him just to make him happy? It just won't work. If both of you are not on the same level, it will never work!!
You will either have to give her "her space" to sort things out and wait or just let it go, if that's what she wants. You will just be hurting yourself chasing after an image of love, who in reality is someone else.
And if she says she just wants to be friends, then it means just that.
Bossie i will see if we make it that far and see how it goes with her........thanks.
Telefonitika i agree with you,it does seem suspect,since she went back 4 months ago she never did answer the phone when i rang out of the blue,i always text her and said......'is it ok if we talk kochana,etc' so she'd say,can we speak later or im not home yet,etc,etc,so out of respect i'd wait untill then
Also the reason she said she doesn't want to be with me is that she wants to be alone,find herself,etc,like i told you i said i'd wait for her and i would be happy to for as long as she took,to me she is the one!!But if she's with another guy then the reason she doesn't want to be with me isn't because she wants to be 'alone',she should of told me.........i want to date other people and your not one of them,etc........
Krysia,thank you..........i understand what you are saying,i wish i never fell in love with her,im guilty of chasing that image of perfect love with her as i believed it was real,i will take a big step back and just see what happens,i need to for my self,im getting hurt to much and i don't feel i was the man i was before i met her,its time for me to just get on with it and heal........
Griff, usually when a girl or guy says I need space , they are saying nicely, I dont feel the same as you. I dont like to put it so plainly, but space means leave me alone.
you sound like a well put together man, your heart is in the right place, dont let this ruin you for the next "right girl" who will love you for what you are and who you are. sometimes people are not meant to be. if it is only one sided, then you have to do whats right.
you know that saying "if you love something, let it go, if it comes back to you, it was meant to be.
in this type of situation, what I would do if it was me, I would call or text and tell her you just want to be friends. dont say anymore, just say, Now I need my space and I just only really want to be friends if that is ok.
she will wonder whats going on, because she knows you are available and willing but if you do a 360 on her, she will wonder why? maybe she wont. but I think she is keeping you hangin around in case things dont work out with whatever she is doing now. To me, her not talking with you while she was out with other friends is a signal that she is keeping you hangin.
Also the reason she said she doesn't want to be with me is that she wants to be alone,find herself,etc,like i told you i said i'd wait for her and i would be happy to for as long as she took,to me she is the one!!But if she's with another guy then the reason she doesn't want to be with me isn't because she wants to be 'alone',she should of told me.........i want to date other people and your not one of them,etc........
I have to agree with most everyone else, Simon. Unfortunately, when people are trying to be "nice" to not hurt someone's feelings, they end up causing more pain. When I was younger, I use to do the same thing because I didn't want to "hurt" anyone. When the tables were turned, I realized it's always better to be honest with someone when it comes to feelings. From my own experience, I believe it's better to be hurt up front so a grieving process can start. Either way, you are going to be hurt, so it's better to get it over with. As for remaining "friends" again I think a certain amount of time should go by so you can heal. I base this once again on my own experience. It's kind of hard to mourn the loss of a relationship when the person is still a part of your life. Good luck in whatever you decide to do---at least you know you are not alone---almost everyone at one time or another has gone through something similar. Chin Up!:)
Thank you for the comments,its really helpfull to have a outside take on things,i think you were right,she was trying to spare my feelings,in reality as much as we had great times together she doesn't feel the same way about me,i will try my best to distance myself from her,i sent 2 Christmas packages that she hasn't received yet so i'll expect to have a little thank you from her at some point.........the way i feel now im just not ready to be friends with her,i can't act like im not in love with her..........i will do the right thing and just leave her to be happy in what she chooses to do.
I'm sorry to read about your news. Don't forget that when a relationship folds we all mourn, it's natural and essential but it will pass. Allow yourself the time to do this but keep busy. In truth you are actually mourning for what might have been and future possibilities, rather than for the lady herself.
You will love again and meet someone new, just try and accept that it may take time, but you will recover and move on eventually.
simon mate... having had my heart broken on more than one occassion i truely feel for you... unfortunately i have the EQ of a pigeon so can offer you very little in the way of solace or advice... and from experience i imagine that your emotions are probably running you at the moment so anything i do say is unlikely to be what you want to hear... :)
if she is really the one for you then dont give up... give her the sapce she needs and if it is to be then she will come back to you... blah blah cliche cliche...
hang in there dude and if it gets to much, dont be afraid to go and talk to someone... its not a sign of weakness
Sometimes it's better to split up before you get married, because later you can go through hell getting a divorce. Love is like fire. The more you put into it, the hotter it will burn, but sometimes no matter how much wood you put into it, it will never burn.
Sometimes it's better to split up before you get married, because later you can go through hell getting a divorce.
I was thinking the same thing but I didn't want to say it. It's good that this didn't happen when they were already married because it would have been so much worse.
I know how you feel your hoping that she will change her mind and come back to you. Just move on and don't do the friend thing unless you have no feeelings for her, but if you still feel love for her than you can't be a friend. No body likes to be second especially after being number one. Of corse you can always sleep with her sister if she has one. Women like that because it shows that you really care about their family.
Thanks again everyone,i knew i'd get an honest opinion of what to do from everyone on here,some of the comments made me laugh:) and others touched me:) and made me realise im not alone:)im staying away from her now and taking everyday as it comes,she's coming back to work here in 4 months and i hope to be living elsewhere by then.
Maybe play hard to get when she comes back? Act totally uninterested, ignore her completely and see what she does. Maybe. Sounds like she found another "friend". Sometimes when you're apart, it's hard to be together, you don't go to the movies together, you don't hang out together, or go for a nice dinner.
Distance sometimes breaks a relationship, but sometimes it makes it even stronger.
i think that if she choosed that other way to treat him maybe she needs time. i left my bf too like that ( but ..i had my own good reasons) and having him around now bothers me sometimes . try to give her some time simon , she ll miss you probably and she ll realise how much u r worth for her:)
im guilty of chasing that image of perfect love with her as i believed it was real,i will take a big step back and
i think u should never ''forget'' ur love to her and never think it was something wrong.. some people get tattoos of the gf/bf 's name..it can be quite fool because if story ends with partner tattoo looses sense but..on other hand it can be also a good way to remember and ''consacrate'' the feelings felt.
Love is like fire. The more you put into it, the hotter it will burn, but sometimes no matter how much wood you put into it, it will never burn.
krysia u r often so right:) my advice to griff is to trust ur advices a lot:) wow
No body likes to be second especially after being number one. Of corse you can always sleep with her sister if she has one. Women like that because it shows that you really care about their family.
wow again:P that's cool ! after an action like that she ll surely run after simon.... with a baseball bat:P
You deserve better, easier said than done I know, but Miss Right will come along in time, she sounds a bit spineless, its not like she lives in the same country, she's in Poland so therefore I would have imagined that it would be easier to finish it..who knows everyone is different, I personally think its crewel to play with someones feelings. Good luck matie x
wow again:P that's cool ! after an action like that she ll surely run after simon.... with a baseball bat:P
Well if she doesn't like that he can just tell her that he was only using her to get to her sister anyway.:) I'm kidding simon don't say that unless you have too.
Sparky! gross.
I was just trying to humor him. I was just kidding.
Besides it's not like you haven't said some off the wall things.
thanks for all the positive comments people,im not sure i'll make a move on her sister.........that did make me laugh though:)i'll keep you informed as to how this pans out.
krysia u r often so right my advice to griff is to trust ur advices a lot wow
I have a fireplace at home and I look into it a lot and think how it resembles love. If you put a smelly piece of wood into it, you get smelly air. If you put nice smelling wood, you get nice smelling smoke.
If you put a hard, cold, wet piece of wood, it will not burn unless it is really hot. And the least important factor in all this is how the wood looks. It's the least important thing because what really counts is the heat and warmth it gives out.
Besides it's not like you haven't said some off the wall things.
Who, me? :)
I have a fireplace at home and I look into it a lot and think how it resembles love. If you put a smelly piece of wood into it, you get smelly air. If you put nice smelling wood, you get nice smelling smoke. If you put a hard, cold, wet piece of wood, it will not burn unless it is really hot. And the least important factor in all this is how the wood looks. It's the least important thing because what really counts is the heat and warmth it gives out.
That's so poetic, krysia. You have many talents. :)
Yeah you... Crazy:) I stubbled into a topic with just you and sev goolie(which I might say is a great poet) You guys are great together. It's like you have your own language.
I have a fireplace at home and I look into it a lot and think how it resembles love. If you put a smelly piece of wood into it, you get smelly air. If you put nice smelling wood, you get nice smelling smoke. If you put a hard, cold, wet piece of wood, it will not burn unless it is really hot. And the least important factor in all this is how the wood looks. It's the least important thing because what really counts is the heat and warmth it gives out
I wish I could find a women who still thought like that.
Griff, do you really want her back? take all those words you were saying and write her a poem... girls like that stuff.
But from the way it sounds shes been treating you ? I would look for another girl someone thats appriciates you..theres plenty of other women out there. In a couple of weeks youll be fine dude
