My polish girlfriend is a nightmare. She flirts openly with every guy that we come into contact with, yet she expects me to have no female friends. Like an idiot, she got her way because that is the way it is in the "polish relationship" that I seem to have been dragged into kicking and screaming for dear life. She is obsessive, loud, crude (though much of that crudeness can be traced to my personnal habits) and a borderline psychotic with traces of a deep rooted psychological imbalance (fu***** nutts).
The stupid thing is I love her, still love her so very much, I used to watch her sleeping (this is not as creepy as it sounds, we have been together for 2 years....) and feel like I was the luckiest person in the world, but now even the sight of her or her voice makes me cringe and shudder.
She says that her family have disowned her because me (interacial relationship) and she even left the one thing I thought she wanted more in the world to do than anything (university) to be with me, but now i am not so sure that all the talk and the plans we had together were not an elaborate ruse.
I have now come to the decision that I dont love her enough to justify the mood swings and the tantrums, the rollercoaster ride of emotion, as life never stops and it is moving on without me on the train. The strange thing is that she wont leave, instead she just chuckles and tells me that we will be together forever.....
I dont want to lose my temper with her, but I cant do anything less than physically throw her out, I dont want to do that, and she knows that I wont, but if I did for example change the locks she would just sit outside the door and wait for me to exit.
Im a desperate man who, because of his weak heart and raging loins, fell for a "kobieta fatalne", or maybe Im the one in the wrong? Any input would be greatly appreciated or....
You're the one who wants out of the relationship, so why don't you pack your bags? You think it's reasonable to change the locks and have her out on the street, because you no longer love her? sounds like you're both nuts.
Chances are that she thrives on fights and scenes and emotional encounters. As long as she can provoke you into an emotional reaction or physical desire, she figures, she's got you. She's probably right.
The way to get rid of her is to practice Buddhist detachment. First tell her it's over. You no longer have strong feelings for her and you're going to start seeing other women.
Then (this is crucial) maintain a sustained, consistent show of polite indifference (no matter what she says or does). Be courteous and distant with no verbal or physical affection (no more sex with her!!!)
Imagine her as a troublesome elderly aunt who have to be civil too but no more (and toward who you have no sexual desire). Treat the (inevitable) tearful shows of remorse with the same lack of overt emotion (perhaps the slight distaste you would show a stranger who tried to engage you in an emotional encounter).
Warning: Be sure you can carry that off. If you try and fail (especially if you have sex with her) then it'll be ten times harder to break things off.
She is obsessive, loud, crude (though much of that crudeness can be traced to my personnal habits) and a borderline psychotic with traces of a deep rooted psychological imbalance (fu***** nutts).
The stupid thing is I love her, still love her so very much, I used to watch her sleeping
Eh, Daisy, I think it's his place. He has the right to evict her, [i]prima facie[i] anyway. My GF and I discussed this a while back and she said that she wouldn't budge.
I would encourage a thorough discussion first. Maybe u can iron out the creases in the relationship. If all else fails, u have to bite the bullet and be a man. There is a fair chance that this girl is using you. Kick her to the kerb/curb is an Americanism that'd fit the bill.
I'm not advocating a my way or the highway type approach, just be firm and fair. Do what u think is right.
The strange thing is that she wont leave, instead she just chuckles and tells me that we will be together forever.....
Maybe she has a nervous laugh?
She says that her family have disowned her because me (interacial relationship) and she even left the one thing I thought she wanted more in the world to do than anything (university) to be with me, but now i am not so sure that all the talk and the plans we had together were not an elaborate ruse.
If your not happy then leave, Its fairly easy to find somewhere else to live, At least that way you are doing the gentlemanly thing and not making her homeless, Just see how long she can carry on paying the rent for.
just tell her either you are leaving or she is leaving whats it gonna be... but you can actually do it in a nice way. of course it depends on if you own or rent the flat yourself. it its your place than you have to be more assertive and get her out. give her an ultimatum like two weeks or something. dont let her control you. take control of the situation. it was her decision to make the changes in her life and that is the risk we all take when we change for another person. its a gamble. sometimes we win and sometimes we lose
I am not long over a situation like this with my estranged husband. You HAVE to tell her you want her to leave and give her a date, two weeks should be more than adequate for anyone to make arrangements. Then follow MAfKETIS's advice to the button, you treat her with civility, no more no less. When the time comes pack her bags if necessary, remove the key to your apartment from her keyring the night before she is scheduled to leave and once she's out do NOT let her over the threshold. Yes, it's hard but it's the only thing that's going to work, you are going to have to be so tough here.
Hmm. This all sounds a bit Fatal Attraction like to me. Change the locks, buy a false moustache, walk a different way to uni each day and give her Filios1's e-mail address.
