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A flying Dutchmen..deep in the Polish forest.....


Dutchmen 2 | 17  
31 May 2007 /  #1
Hi there,

I left Holland (Rotterdam) in 2000 and live for 7 years now in Poland 30 km from Warsaw in the forest near the lake ( Niporient)... in a big second hand old wooden house...a house with a warm soul!!! , which I removed from Wieszcow to here....It was a hell of a job...totally new for me.....to brake a house down...and put 30.000kg on a big truck and build it up again...Polish people do it as well.....I am still busy with finishing the house.......The life in nature and in this old Polish farmhouse is great, although it getting boring after all those years...on my own.....But in my own silence...I have learned so much about myself, and the deepest intention of real life. From out the silence you can see the crazy life very sharp....where all those people are busy with...I am proud about it, most people are scared for there own silence >>>

Lonelyness....

...... do you know what loneliness means and are you aware of it? i doubt it very much, because we have smothered ourselves in activities, in books, in relationships, in ideas which really prevent us from being aware of loneliness. what do we mean by loneliness? it is a sense of being empty, of having nothing, of being extraordinarily uncertain, with no anchorage anywhere. ..... what is actually taking place, what do you do when you feel lonely. you try to escape from your feeling of loneliness, you try to get on with a book, you follow some leader, or you go to a cinema, or you become socially very very active, or you go and worship and pray, or you paint, or you write a poem about loneliness. that is what is taking place. becoming aware of loneliness , the pain of it, the extraordinary and fathomless fear of it, you seek an escape and that escape becomes more important and therefore your activities, your knowledge, your godogs, your radios all become important, don't they? ... and modern civilization based on these gives you the escape - escape through your job, your family, your name, your studies, through painting etc; all our culture is based on that escape. our civilization is founded on it and that is a fact have you ever tried to be alone? when you do try, you will feel how extraordinarily difficult it is and how extraordinarily intelligent we must be to be alone, because the mind will not let us be alone. the mind becomes restless, it busies itself with escapes, so what are we doing? we are trying to fill this extraordinary void with the known. we discover how to be active, to be social; we know how to study and how to turn on the radio. we are filling that thinkg which we do not know with the images we know. we try to fill that emptiness with various kinds of knowledge, relationships or thinkgs. that is our process, that is our existence. now when you realize what you are doing, do you still think you can fill that void? ... have you succeeded in filling it or have you merely covered it up? if you have merely covered it up, it is still there; therefore it will come back... how then will you find what to do about this loneliness? you can only find what to do when you have stopped escaping. when you are willing to face what is - which means you must not turn on the radio, which means you must turn your back to civilization - then that loneliness comes to an end, because it is completely transformed. it is no longer loneliness. because the mind is continuously avoiding, escaping, refusing to see what is, it creates its own hindrances. because we have so many hindrances that are preventing us from seeing, we do not understand what is and therefore we are getting away from reality; all these hindrances have been created by the mind in order not to see what is. to see what is not only requires a great deal of capacity and awareness of action but it also means turning your back on everything that you have built up, your bank-account, your name and everything that we call civilization .....

So the reason that I wrote some words here.....is because I am full with adrenaline and ready to make some new friends to share , what is not so easy in Poland..believe me... and hopefully to meet an interesting woman who also know life from many sites.....just to have some nice dinner in my house and a interesting open talk about life......Or invite me in the unknown city Warsaw....I am a good listener as well...It's really time to come back in the living world......or maybe not....DEPEND!!! I have no other intentions...just to make some friendship......It can start with some e-mails to see if we are a bit on the same level.....Some old friends...which I have met in the beginning of my adventure here..are from academy of fine Art Warsaw....funny world

By the way ..I am 37 years old....My email alex.bolte@gmail
I have no high expectations of the huge theatre of internet......But we will see....

Kindly regards....
Alex



OP Dutchmen 2 | 17  
31 May 2007 /  #2
Well well...I knew in witch speed of life people live......to get no respons...means a lot to me....Exactly fit to my filosofi........I am not a guy for forums, all my dreams and desires came out the real life and my own power......never from the wireless highway....So free learning today...

Thanks
Alex
Amathyst 19 | 2,702  
31 May 2007 /  #3
Good evening Mr D
Lady in red  
31 May 2007 /  #4
Awwww, well I shall reply to you. So that you are not all alone and can see that there are other people out here :)

I've not yet read all your post on loneliness but I shall a bit later on. Being lonely is not a good position to be in. You can also be surrounded by people and be lonely too. It's a frame of mind also ?

I prefer my own company a lot of the time but that does not mean I am lonely, It's an interesting discussion but not one I can further at the moment as I have migraine at the moment.

I'll follow it up tomorrow but just wanted to show you are not on your own in here.

LizzieT
OP Dutchmen 2 | 17  
31 May 2007 /  #5
Being lonely is not a good position to be in.

Thanks anyway...very kind. Althought I have to say .....The 7 years expedition in the soul...here in the Polish forest is one of the biggest experience in my life....I needed it...away from all crazyness in life.....i believe everything has a reason......And slowly I know why I had to be here.....

It makes me again richer then ever.....again more wisdom.....learning in life never ends......The most people....don't know thereselves at all.....in the speed of life...

Anyway....wish you all the best with your migraine....I had also my own businesses...cars, boats...all materials.....its nothing.......wisdom and spirit in yourself....is something!!

Greatings
Alex
Lady in red  
31 May 2007 /  #6
Hi Alex,

I do understand about finding yourself. But my view is you don't have to be lonely to do it ?
Just need to find your own space ?

Why did you move to Poland ? Was it for work or something else ? I'm in the UK but my parents were both Polish,

LizzieT
OP Dutchmen 2 | 17  
31 May 2007 /  #7
Why did you move to Poland ? Was it for work or something else ?

I met a girl..on my Greek expeditions on the sea....I felt in love.....and moved fast to Poland...and stopped with my travel organisation.....love was more important on that moment then business......We had a dream to built a old wooden house.....we did....but relation ended....and I went on to with finishing the house.....But slowly I get addicted on the real silence.........later more...Back to the Netherlands.......never again......what a mess..

And you if I may ask? Busy life?? Married? Dreams......

Alex

A very good evening to you as well Mrs. Amathyst...

Alex
Lady in red  
31 May 2007 /  #8
Sounds very romantic.I'm sorry your relationship didn't work out. Explains the need for time on your own ?

Erm not so sure I want to tell everyone my personal details on a forum. I'm quite a private person. But I was born in the UK, married for a while then separated. I used to be what they term a 'high flyer', work 24/7 but I now control my own time and it's good. I met my ex in a foreign country while on holiday, very romantic but sometimes the magic goes :(

Hmmm just thinking about my dreams, another time perhaps need to think that one through.
OP Dutchmen 2 | 17  
31 May 2007 /  #10
Erm not so sure I want to tell everyone my personal details on a forum.

Ok...if you ever need to share some human talk...then mail me...adress is above
I should like it....

Have to go take some rest.....I promise myself to sit not to long behind this world of fiction....When the PC is out...it rememberd me on the 5 years without laptop and internet.....was more real times....if you know what I mean...

Take care
Alex
Ken Noddy 2 | 161  
31 May 2007 /  #11
loneliness

A very eloquent description.

we have smothered ourselves in activities, in books, in relationships, in ideas which really prevent us from being aware of loneliness.

Modern life seems to be invading every second in our lives. So many gadgets, internet, tv, desparate for a piece of our time. So many things to distract us. It is easy to get swept away on this tide, it takes courage and intelligence to fight against the current, to realise that this 'stuff' is unnecessary, it is spam and we need to filter it out properly.

It saddens me, I see it every day, people totally absorbed in meaningless activities, getting worked up about things that when you look back in a year, or a month, or a week, don't matter a goddamn. I am guilty of it myself, it takes courage to step back, to step out of yourself sort of and look at the bigger picture.

the mind will not let us be alone.

It seems to be human nature to 'busy ourselves', I guess it is good to be busy but the key is to be aware of the situation, to be in control so as not to let it dictate our lives.
OP Dutchmen 2 | 17  
31 May 2007 /  #12
I agree....we all have made our own spider web......and are stucked in it....what we have design by ourselves........People chose for the safety........But they not realise....there is no safety at all....I always say to people....and then? ...ok and then?.......constantly escaping to see what there realy is...........more more more...and then?? And then? I am a lucky guy....to see realy what there still is.......I live in silence....not always easy....but far away from the crazy world....I can see and hear everything quit pure.......

Going back to the basic things in life.....could help many human beings in the western world to be more happy and more relativation.......We are all brainwashed by the western thinking............and nobody see it anymore......40 years of American movies.....look what an impact of the life of today......Anyway....I have sometimes nothing to say anymore........My way of life was long ....to find my own truth......my own planet...my own thinking.......in silence......

Take care
Alex
Decorator 4 | 291  
31 May 2007 /  #13
Hi Dutchman,

Funny i moved to Holland the countryside in Friesland for 4 years to get away from it too.. to get away from what !! i'm not too sure...
OP Dutchmen 2 | 17  
1 Jun 2007 /  #14
Hi there,

I must say...Friesland and the other provences up in Holland are not so bad to live.....
I grow up in the must busy and crazy area...Rotterdam Amsterdam....

Anyway...we take ourselves always with us...wherever we go......It's also me....who can't live between any society.....I create my own.....I loose myself to quickly.....in the massa and the noisy cities.....Here I can be myself....And Poland have still basic values....But for how long??

Take care in My Holland
Alex

How is Lady in Red doing ..today?
Lady in red  
2 Jun 2007 /  #15
Hey Alex. Great thank you. Having a good day here. Weather has been so hot and dry here today. So been out for most of the day. Just getting ready to go out for the evening with a few friends.

How are you getting on ?

Lizzie
OP Dutchmen 2 | 17  
2 Jun 2007 /  #16
Silence like usual...pure and peacefull.....Have fun then!! Poland rains and rains....my garden slowly become a real jungle.....So a Jane could fit nice here.......for tarzan

Take care
Alex
espana 17 | 910  
2 Jun 2007 /  #17
my garden slowly become a real jungle.....So a Jane could fit nice here.......for tarzan

what about cheetah?



Lady in red  
3 Jun 2007 /  #18
You could easily get lost in a jungle, wondering if that's where you are today Alex ? Swinging from the trees and beating your chest :)

Maybe I should call you Tarzan now ?

Lol @ espana, theres always room for a Cheetah, I would expect.
espana 17 | 910  
3 Jun 2007 /  #19
theres always room for a Cheetah

ok moooooooooo...... i m coming soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but ,,,,,, wait .............i m a caw!!!!!
Lady in red  
3 Jun 2007 /  #20
Three's a crowd espana :)
ola - | 18  
3 Jun 2007 /  #21
I know what you're talking about Dutchman but I wouldn't spend 7 years in forest, alone.

I need people around me, I hope not to filll the emptiness in my head but to share my life, interests, to laugh and bank on.

My trick not to get carried away by TV, Internet, people you don't really know but they appear in your life, career, money, buying loads of clothes, gadgets etc is to step back from time to time and ask yourself if this is really what you want or this is really the direction you're willing to go.

I read somewhere that you can compare your life to a bowl full of water, it's usually being moved very often and the water is moving aswell but to keep your life in balance you sometimes need to sit and calm down, go somewhere away from the noise of busy life. It's like you were letting the water quieten and stay clear so you could see in it like in your head what is really good/bad for you.

Or...maybe... I'm just talking rubbish ;) Take care
OP Dutchmen 2 | 17  
4 Jun 2007 /  #22
Thanks Ola,

It doesn't matter realy...for me....I did enough before this forest station....Looked like I have live my life in double speed......That time I didn't see or hear nothing...now I am aware of everything....Clear pure look....I see it as a station....everything is temporary in life......Proberly I needed this silence......Sometimes I go half day to Warsaw...Then I realize why I sit here........I have seen so many Alex before the forest time.....

The selfmade house...with my soul....will be for sale next year......Then I will try to find another station...again very close to myself......The deepest intention of life together with my own truth......No big deal........

Anyway take care as well....
Alexx
OP Dutchmen 2 | 17  
4 Jun 2007 /  #23
Lizzy....you can call me whatever you like.....Did you had good times last weekend?
And yes...I am here allllll the time 7 years........And still alive....observating the world.....and prepare myself to come out slowly....slowly....Proberly I go back to Greece...and live on an unhabitent Island....like I did before....

My handmade house...:



Lady in red  
4 Jun 2007 /  #24
My handmade house...:

And what a great house it is too :)

I have found a way to post. Anyone else having similar problems ? Not been able to post for a while.

I emailed you Alex.

Lizzie
aladdin 2 | 9  
4 Jun 2007 /  #25
i must say, this is an interesting thread.

i would never choose to live out in the woods like that. i feel alive when i am in touch with the rhythm of a city.

but it is possible to live a quite solitary existence in a big city. you can go for long periods of time without really talking to anybody in any substantive way...

but i understand what it is to move to another country for love. i did it, and ended up living in stockholm. which is where i am still.

but you sound like an interesting person. i do get down to poland now and again, for various reasons. and i always go up to warsaw when i do, because i really enjoy it. i'd enjoy it even if i did NOT have some rather ancient family connections to the land.

next time i am there, perhaps you would like to come into town and have dinner and chat?
OP Dutchmen 2 | 17  
4 Jun 2007 /  #26
That's a friendly open offer.....to have a chat in Wawa....with a stranger.....That's what I am not afraid of...after all those years here...between my quit trees.....

You can mail me on alex.bolte@gmail when you are in wawa...no problem.....

So still in Stockholm.....hope you are doing fine......Where are you born? Are you Polish?

I know what you try to say ...to be alone in a big city ...when you need your own silence.....But you are aware to be in a big city.....here I am aware....being realy solomio......

I was always interested ...how far can an human being go....with his own silence...to the bone...it feels like in an other dimension.......and it feels sometimes so good!!!!! I am addicted on my silence........I see the world so sharp from a total restpoint.....with non disturbing impuls...no noises...of scooters, cars, music or whatever.....

It have to do with my ADHD.....you know an hyper active person......It's hard...althought by rest and investsments...and wisdom.....I can handlle it.....

But don't forget ....I had before the forest isolation....a crazy intensive travel life on the Greek seas....nightlifes etc......So the contrast now with the past is 100%.....

I have also a nice contact with the Dutch solosailer Henk de Velde ...maybe ever heared of him....he went 6 times around the world...SOLO!!! henkdevelde.com...also in English....his filosofi fit exactly with mine.....

Well have to now....rest ofcourse..
Alex
AvJoeUK  
4 Jun 2007 /  #27
Dutch If you got ADHD surely it would help to be out and doing active things instead of eating yourself up in your thoughts in a desolate forrest? I guess that doesnt make things any easier.
OP Dutchmen 2 | 17  
4 Jun 2007 /  #28
Here I can control myself.....I have design my own planet...Anyway...I understand your point of view......But the house I 've build from the ground....don't let me go yet....My brain is since I am here.....much richer....then ever......more I can find in a big city or doing active things.....I walk a lot with my dogs near the lake......have mountain bike trips,.....I just love to think......filosofi....Art.....I have done all my life difficult things.......Most of the people try to do easy things......life will pay you back...on a lower level........My payment of life was extremly high.........By the way.....true sadness...has more value.....then party and laughing in life........My heart never let me down........i realise more and more......that I am a lucky guy........less money and material....but all my life time...........My new dream is to have nothing anymore........more time for life!!!!

Regards
Alex
goldie - | 37  
4 Jun 2007 /  #29
I left Holland (Rotterdam) in 2000 and live for 7 years now in Poland

Dutchmen: your a bit deep arent you... lonelinees... its a thing that you make for your self.....surround yourself with friends, they help. Reading can ease lonleness. I guees I am lucky that i don not live in a city, getting close to nature makes you realise how good life is!!!
OP Dutchmen 2 | 17  
4 Jun 2007 /  #30
Specialy...when I have felt the big cities lifes before..........it means...to realise and experience the contrasts.......Life and people are constantly in a kind of movements.....

Surrounding friends.....bit complicate on the moment I had many........but to less...wisdom.....they could bring never some news....what I didn't know......

With standard people......(work money material etc......) to simple...boring....I easely understand them.....but visa versa....not possible.....And the funny thing...I don't blame them ...IT"S ME!!!!! I want to live with my own truth!!! Like I always did.....

It's all about having tie...and not brainwashed by the western thinking......try!!!

Yes close to nature.....forest , sea....mountains.....feels for me that I am human.....

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