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Difficult Polish girlfriend - how long would you put up with her? My story.


Jihozapad  
20 Jun 2009 /  #1
... put up with this G*WNO for?

OK... So I was dating a Polish woman, who (surprise surprise) told me she'd never let me go, loved me, wanted to see me every day, phoned me every day, etc etc.

But (and there's always a "but", isn't there).

Every day included some sort of put-down, criticism, insult or verbal abuse.

My hair, my clothes, my job, the money I earn (new job pays over £35K p.a., not bad in a recession), my car... everything about me is "wrong" and quite clearly unacceptable, and I'm simply not good enough. But after 2 or 3 days apart, it's all “moj kochany misiu” again.

Told me in front of her son that "she doesn't want my children", when she knew that I want a child, then claimed that I misunderstood, and that she actually said that she “doesn't want more children”. Rubbish, I'm not deaf, or stupid. I can't think of many more insulting things to say to someone in a public place. If she'd said I had a small c*ck and was cr*p in bed, well, it's still an insult, but at least you can have surgery and get educated :) But this was a deep, deep insult. And where/when she chose to say it, made it even worse.

Having as close to 100% Polish blood as is possible, having been brought up in a culturally and linguistically POLISH home, and being able to trace my family back to the mid-1800s clearly wasn't enough - I'm not "A REAL POLE" because I wasn't born there! And therefore fair game for insults. Funny how she was quite happy to listen to my FLUENT Polish all day long (which EVERYONE compliments, and I was once told by one of those "real Poles" she worships that 85% of what I say is like a native - my Polish has got even better since then, btw), read my written translations, and couldn't actually be bothered speaking English except at work - which, unsurprisingly, led to more insults - "It's embarrassing telling people I work with that I'm dating an English guy who won't teach me English".

Well, darling, I'M NOT ****ING ENGLISH (not that there's anything wrong with being English, it's just that I'm... not ;) you get me? ) Secondly, YOU COULDN'T BE BOTHERED. And finally, you don't even want to associate with the "ANGOLE" because they are beneath you, and all your crowd is from Poland (apart from me) and SO superior! </sarcasm>

Amongst the things she accused me of was being gay (and therefore, by default, in her opinion that obviously obviously a paedo as well) - because I'm not a hard-drinking, chain-smoking dresiarz like many of her male friends - an especially stupid thing to say when I was the one who ALWAYS had to initiate sex, she said she wasn't really that bothered about it anyway (whereas I need and always got plenty - even with other Polish women! lol) - sorry darling, but once a month is NOT enough. And she even suggested that she might be better off with a woman. So who's more likely to be gay, eh?

As if telling me I must ALWAYS have my phone switched off when I'm with her (when, of course, SHE is entitled to answer EVERY call on her phone!) wasn't bad enough, eventually she also said "you don't need friends, you've got me". And even managed to insult my mother as well, by saying that "your mum obviously had no idea how to bring up a decent, respectful, polite child did she", for daring to answer back to one of her insults.

When I told my best friends and close work colleagues (who I count as friends as well), they didn't recognise the person being described. For your information, I'm not one of those people who has different "personas" and puts on a fake face at work- I'm a pretty easy-going, friendly, polite and VERY respectful person, who takes a lot to wind up, and even then I'm probably not going to stab you up (lol) – with me, what you see is what you get, wherever I am. I tell it like it is. No b******t.

Before anyone congratulates me on “finally” meeting a Polish woman, and finding out the hard way what “they are really like”, let me just add that I've spent 12 years in relationships with Polish women. But never have I come across one as abusive like this. My best mate told me to "dump the evil controlling psycho before it's too late" over a year ago, but did I listen? No.

Until she told me that she could "easily get a rich model tomorrow, if I wanted to... whereas YOU can't". After which, I had to plan my escape.

Good riddance. I deserve better.

And I've never wanted to date a model anyway. Or puste blachary.

Size 16 is way sexier anyway. :)
wildrover 98 | 4,451  
20 Jun 2009 /  #2
You have got yourself a spoilt little madam who obviously didn,t get her ass spanked enough when she was younger....Get rid of the silly tart as soon as you can , and find yourself a nice Polish girl , there are lots of nice ones who don,t behave like a princess , find one with some manners....
PlasticPole 7 | 2,649  
21 Jun 2009 /  #3
Sounds like you two are incompatible.
mets2redsox0 - | 40  
21 Jun 2009 /  #4
you deserve a Nice Girl / Woman!, someone who will love you for who you are, not what you earn, where you live, but, who you are!. move-on!!.
Arlene  
21 Jun 2009 /  #5
To Jihozapad:

I am very sorry for you and by now you should know her after putting up with her for so many months. She is really insulting you very bad and even front of people too. She don't care for you. She is so proud of herself as Model. I have news for her, she is not very role model at all. Her attidutes will not get her job as Famous Model. Her personalities is very bad and she will have hard time obey her bosses who will be pushing her around to do this and that. She will never deal with pressures.

I hate to tell you, I had boyfriend like her. He always tell me I am no good. He always telling me I am not good for him. He was worst one I ever met. I am glad I broken up with him and he moved to Florida and married to some woman. They are fighting and been in Florida courts alot. He called me he need place to stay. I told him go to HELL.

...
OP Jihozapad  
21 Jun 2009 /  #6
I have news for her, she is not very role model at all. Her attidutes will not get her job as Famous Model. Her personalities is very bad and she will have hard time obey her bosses who will be pushing her around to do this and that. She will never deal with pressures

Have you met her? ;) haha, spot on.

He called me he need place to stay. I told him go to HELL.

Good decision.
Nathan 18 | 1,363  
21 Jun 2009 /  #7
Jihozapad

My condolences for your wasted heart, nerves and life's time, but also felicitations for your decision. Thank you for sharing your experiences, Jihozapad.
johncardwell 3 | 110  
22 Jun 2009 /  #8
I have seen this type of behavior in Polish girls outside of Poland.
Especially in the last year.
Abusing and trying to humiliate the man in front of other people.
Trying to make the man feel bad about himself.
The opposite of what a good supportive woman should do.

Really disgusting behavior.
I think many Polish Women feel very inferior and small on the inside.

One definition of a coward is someone who treats the people closest to them the worse.
From your side of the story this woman is a real coward.

Tell her that if she is so unhappy she should consider suicide.
The world would be better without her.
Also suggest to her she should not have any more children because she is a rotten mother setting a bad example for the

children.

Whatever you do don't hit her or beat her.
And don't return any verbal abuse.

Just leave her.
As fast as possible.
And don't look back.

She will probably only get worse.
Arlene  
22 Jun 2009 /  #9
<<Have you met her? ;)
haha, spot on.>>

Yes, I have met her by accident on Christmas Day just after my mother passed away. It was lowest point of my life. He didn't feel sorry for my loss at all. This girl is jobless and need man to support her. Her sons didn't like him at all but she married him for his money. I was alone in my place and good things my boss make me to work long hours to get over with my double losses.

Arlene:
He called me he need place to stay. I told him go to HELL.

Good decision.>>

I had to because his wife have my telephone number and she is harrassing me day & night. Then she come to Illionis to look for him. They have 2 homes (Florida & Illinois), I didn't wanted her to ring my doorbell and I would have call Police Dept.
JustysiaS 13 | 2,240  
22 Jun 2009 /  #10
Someone was in a mood for a little rant eh? ;) Good riddance!
tornado2007 11 | 2,274  
22 Jun 2009 /  #11
To be honest the girl in the story could be from any nation in the world, let alone Poland. I can safely say there are English girls like this too!!!!! I've always found PF funny for its 'Polish people are like this' and 'Polish people are like that' you can even replace the word 'Polish' with 'English' or 'American' sometimes.

I think you have to look at this situation as a 'female' rather than a 'Polish female'
ragtime27 1 | 146  
22 Jun 2009 /  #12
No one is criticising polish women here,it's a polish forum,therefore it is appropriate place to talk about this particular polish woman.
Arlene  
22 Jun 2009 /  #13
Well, not only Polish women, it could be anybody. I am Polish America who dated difficult men too. It isn't only women but it can be some males too.

We have to be strong to deal with them or leave them. My point is to dump person. It is no laughing matters. I am sure there are nice people in world.
Arlene  
22 Jun 2009 /  #14
<<Arlene:
I have news for her, she is not very role model at all. Her attidutes will not get her job as Famous Model. Her personalities is very bad and she will have hard time obey her bosses who will be pushing her around to do this and that. She will never deal with pressures

Have you met her? ;) haha, spot on.>>>

OOp I forgot to say this. No I haven't, Did You?
You can tell how Jihozapad complaining about his girlfriend. Let hear others tell us about his girlfriend. I did meet my boyfriend's girlfriend then wife. Gotten it right.

Well, anybody can make mistake in replying in here.
Thanks for listening.
plk123 8 | 4,150  
22 Jun 2009 /  #15
'Polish people are like that' you can even replace the word 'Polish' with 'English' or 'American' sometimes.

some traits are definitely based on culture or ethnicity. i have never met am american woman with that kind of attitude. otoh, i've known plent of polish men and women that are just exactly like that.. so in conclusion.. some "generalities" are spot on.
pgtx 29 | 3,159  
22 Jun 2009 /  #16
Difficult Polish girlfriend

the situation is not difficult yet... it's just a warm up...
plk123 8 | 4,150  
22 Jun 2009 /  #17
^^ well there you go..
rejd 5 | 17  
22 Jun 2009 /  #18
she told me that she could "easily get a rich model tomorrow, if I wanted to... whereas YOU can't".

Oh really? Well, if she really thinks she can get someone soooooo much better than you, tell her... as my Grandma used to say... "don't let the door hit ya in the @$$ on the way out."
OP Jihozapad  
22 Jun 2009 /  #19
the situation is not difficult yet... it's just a warm up...

My original title was completely changed by the mods, I didn't describe her as "difficult" in the first place. The first line makes no sense since the edit, either :)

No one is criticising polish women here,it's a polish forum,therefore it is appropriate place to talk about this particular polish woman.

Exactly, I just felt in the mood for posting to a Polish forum about a particular Polish woman, because I'm also Polish. I'm hardly going to post this to a Pakistani forum, am I? lol. This is NOT a "why are all Polish women like this?" thread, because they aren't!

What's keeping me going is
(a) knowing that they aren't all like that, and
(b) hoping I meet another Polish woman soon, because they are still my first choice of partner. One lazy, gold-digging b*tch isn't going to stop me from finding happiness again! ;)

Oh really? Well, if she really thinks she can get someone soooooo much better than you, tell her... as my Grandma used to say... "don't let the door hit ya in the @$$ on the way out."

haha!

I'd love to be able to tell her this, but it's probably too late now.
Unless I bump into her at the weekend. lol :)
tornado2007 11 | 2,274  
22 Jun 2009 /  #20
No one is criticising polish women here,it's a polish forum,therefore it is appropriate place to talk about this particular polish woman

my point was not just to defend Polish women on a Polish forum, i'm just commenting that a woman could do this no matter where she is from.

No one is criticising polish women here

then what is the OP doing?? if that is not being critical then i don't know what is. It may not have been written to be critical but it sure can look like it

some traits are definitely based on culture or ethnicity. i have never met am american woman with that kind of attitude. otoh, i've known plent of polish men and women that are just exactly like that.. so in conclusion.. some "generalities" are spot on.

what so there are not stuck up women in America, women who think they are above others?? come on i fail to believe that.
plk123 8 | 4,150  
22 Jun 2009 /  #21
i didn't say that but it seems that it's way more prevalent in polkas.
scrappleton - | 830  
22 Jun 2009 /  #22
some traits are definitely based on culture or ethnicity. i have never met am american woman with that kind of attitude. otoh, i've known plent of polish men and women that are just exactly like that.. so in conclusion.. some "generalities" are spot on.

Yes, have to agree with you unfortunately. There's prima donnas in the US no doubt but usually it's looked down on.
OP Jihozapad  
22 Jun 2009 /  #23
then what is the OP doing?? if that is not being critical then i don't know what is. It may not have been written to be critical but it sure can look like it

there is a big difference between criticising a Polish woman and criticising Polish women
johncardwell 3 | 110  
22 Jun 2009 /  #24
When I told my best friends and close work colleagues (who I count as friends as well), they didn't recognise the person being described.

This is disgusting.
She is making herself out to be something different in front of other people and abusing her spouse at home.
A real sick coward.

Jihozapad, please leave her.
I think you will have the support of almost everyone on this forum.
I thought about this story today.
It makes me want to vomit.

I really hope this is a very rare case for Polish Women inside Poland.
Verbally abusive women are some of the worse kinds of women.
Perverting the supportive role that they should have.

Leave her.
You won't regret it.
In fact you will probably regret you stayed so long.
OP Jihozapad  
22 Jun 2009 /  #25
I left three weeks ago
wildrover 98 | 4,451  
22 Jun 2009 /  #26
Good for you mate...don,t let this poisen princess put you off all Polish women , there are some lovely girls around , good luck with the next one....
jump_bunny 5 | 237  
22 Jun 2009 /  #27
she said she wasn't really that bothered about it anyway (whereas I need and always got plenty - even with other Polish women! lol) - sorry darling, but once a month is NOT enough.

Well done you, I wish we could all hear her version of the story as I find it difficult to trust liars and cheaters.
Seanus 15 | 19,706  
22 Jun 2009 /  #28
She needs to be tangoed, matey. Pure and simple. Like the John Smiths commercials recommended, 'no nonsense'.
OP Jihozapad  
22 Jun 2009 /  #29
Well done you, I wish we could all hear her version of the story as I find it difficult to trust liars and cheaters.

you need to watch who you're calling a liar/cheater, I've never cheated on anyone, but I'll be damned if I'm going to be treated like that by anyone. It may have been more bearable if there was more frequent sex, but there wasn't. So why stay?

Would you put up with all the above, almost daily, for 15 months? I doubt it. I've already had one cheating wife, and another controlling relationship, so I learned how (and when) to get out before it was too late, before all my self-esteem was destroyed. I got out just in time. I don't expect you to understand.
plk123 8 | 4,150  
22 Jun 2009 /  #30
Well done you, I wish we could all hear her version of the story as I find it difficult to trust liars and cheaters.

yet you want to hear from the liar and cheater? that sure seems messed up..

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